Pool Time!

[wiggles02]

DH and I watch my kids like a hawk around the pool and they are 8 and 10. We usually watch one each. That means I don't get to talk to my husband or read my book on a lounge chair, but that is ok. We feel their safety is more important.

We also feel the lifeguards at Disney resorts do a great job. I really like the way they circle the pool and switch all the time so they have a change of scenery. They also clear the pool quickly if their is an "accident" or something in the pool. I think they have a great system.

This past May we did a split stay at POFQ and at Marriott Harbour Lake. There were no lifeguards at Harbour Lake and the pool was extremely crowded. Scary.

 

[maxiesmom]

I think people are aware that accidental drownings occur. From the posts I have read I still haven't found any parents that leave their kids unattended at the pool. I guess it really comes down to what your definition of unattended is. IMO letting your child play in the water while you watch from a lounge chair is not unattended.

The OP didn't mention watching their child from a lounge chair. She asked her husband where their child was, and he said he was around there someplace. Not the same as watching from a lounge chair. So the child may as well have been unattended, as the dad had no idea where he was.

 

[Pixiedust530]

I have NOT read all the responses here but after skimming just the first page I was ALARMED by the number of responses where people said to loosen the reigns, let them run free, they will be fine.

I am the FURTHEST thing from being an overprotective parent and I do give my child lots of freedom, but NOT at the pool. He runs rampant at our local park (sometimes out of my sight) and he is afforded other freedoms as well.

I was a lifeguard for 13 years. My best friend helped provide CPR to a 6 year old little boy who subsequently died. He was wearing a flotation device (back float, not a life jacket) and was found floating face down in the water. The parents sued the facility and the case went to trial. My best friend had to relive that experience over and over (through depositions and testifying). The ultimate result was that the facility was not at fault. DUH! If anything it is my opinion that the parents were negligent. They sent their child to a "kids night out" pool party KNOWING their child was not a strong swimmer (thus why he was wearing a flotation device). The facility administered swim tests to all children attending the party and he was determined to be a weak swimmer, therefore he was wearing a float and restricted to shallow water. FYI...he drowned in 3 feet of water...where he could touch.

The other story I must share is one that happened in the city where I live just a couple weeks ago. A family was swimming at a country club. Again...it was a 6 year old boy that was swimming. He was a strong swimmer and was going down for dive sticks. The mother was watching him. She turned around to lift a lounge chair and when she focused her eyes back to where her son had been swimming (a mere 10-20 seconds later) she didn't see him. He was found at the bottom of the pool, given CPR, taken to the local children's hospital and was taken off of life support the next day and died.

My point is this...whether a child is a weak swimmer as in my first story or a strong swimmer diving to the bottom it doesn't matter. A child (or anyone for that matter) can drown in very little water. No matter how strong of a swimmer my child is/becomes he will be watched ALL THE TIME while at a pool. I don't take my eyes off of him for even a second. Right now he is 4 years old and that means if he wants to swim that I must as well. he does not enter the pool before me...even in a 18inch deep "baby pool". I sit in the pool while he plays. There will come a time where I watch from the side but he will have my undivided attention...no reading books or partaking in otherwise distracting behavior. Many children drown each year with multiple adults "watching them" because al the adults assume the other is watching the children.

OK...sorry for the rant and ramble. I will get off my soapbox now! This just hits very close to home for me so I couldn't NOT reply!

ETA: To the OP...if you are still reading, please share these stories with your DH and hopefully this will help convince him that a pool is NO place to be lax!

 

[princesspeach]

I have NOT read all the responses here but after skimming just the first page I was ALARMED by the number of responses where people said to loosen the reigns, let them run free, they will be fine.

I am the FURTHEST thing from being an overprotective parent and I do give my child lots of freedom, but NOT at the pool. He runs rampant at our local park (sometimes out of my sight) and he is afforded other freedoms as well.

I was a lifeguard for 13 years. My best friend helped provide CPR to a 6 year old little boy who subsequently died. He was wearing a flotation device (back float, not a life jacket) and was found floating face down in the water. The parents sued the facility and the case went to trial. My best friend had to relive that experience over and over (through depositions and testifying). The ultimate result was that the facility was not at fault. DUH! If anything it is my opinion that the parents were negligent. They sent their child to a "kids night out" pool party KNOWING their child was not a strong swimmer (thus why he was wearing a flotation device). The facility administered swim tests to all children attending the party and he was determined to be a weak swimmer, therefore he was wearing a float and restricted to shallow water. FYI...he drowned in 3 feet of water...where he could touch.

The other story I must share is one that happened in the city where I live just a couple weeks ago. A family was swimming at a country club. Again...it was a 6 year old boy that was swimming. He was a strong swimmer and was going down for dive sticks. The mother was watching him. She turned around to lift a lounge chair and when she focused her eyes back to where her son had been swimming (a mere 10-20 seconds later) she didn't see him. He was found at the bottom of the pool, given CPR, taken to the local children's hospital and was taken off of life support the next day and died.

My point is this...whether a child is a weak swimmer as in my first story or a strong swimmer diving to the bottom it doesn't matter. A child (or anyone for that matter) can drown in very little water. No matter how strong of a swimmer my child is/becomes he will be watched ALL THE TIME while at a pool. I don't take my eyes off of him for even a second. Right now he is 4 years old and that means if he wants to swim that I must as well. he does not enter the pool before me...even in a 18inch deep "baby pool". I sit in the pool while he plays. There will come a time where I watch from the side but he will have my undivided attention...no reading books or partaking in otherwise distracting behavior. Many children drown each year with multiple adults "watching them" because al the adults assume the other is watching the children.

OK...sorry for the rant and ramble. I will get off my soapbox now! This just hits very close to home for me so I couldn't NOT reply!

ETA: To the OP...if you are still reading, please share these stories with your DH and hopefully this will help convince him that a pool is NO place to be lax!

These are rare events. How many millions of kids swim everyday and don't drown. At some age you have to let your kids swim on their own. If you want to be 5 feet from your kid in the pool until hes 18 thats you choice. I'm perfectly comfortable letting my kids swim on their own in the pool with adult supervision. I am a er nurse. I see tons of bad crap everyday. I just don't let it influence how I raise my kids. If I did they would never swim, drive, ride a bike etc. Kids get hurt in ways you couldn't even imagine. You can't stick them in a bubble. You have to let them grow up.

 

[princesspeach]

The OP didn't mention watching their child from a lounge chair. She asked her husband where their child was, and he said he was around there someplace. Not the same as watching from a lounge chair. So the child may as well have been unattended, as the dad had no idea where he was.

Thats a typical dad response. He probably didn't want his wife coming unglued. The dad most likely turned his head for 2 minutes and the kid jumped out of pool and started playing in the splash area. Big deal. I think not.

 

[Pixiedust530]

These are rare events. How many millions of kids swim everyday and don't drown. At some age you have to let your kids swim on their own. If you want to be 5 feet from your kid in the pool until hes 18 thats you choice. I'm perfectly comfortable letting my kids swim on their own in the pool with adult supervision. I am a er nurse. I see tons of bad crap everyday. I just don't let it influence how I raise my kids. If I did they would never swim, drive, ride a bike etc. Kids get hurt in ways you couldn't even imagine. You can't stick them in a bubble. You have to let them grow up.

I am not saying that these events are the norm, but they do happen more often than we all like to think. I would think that being an ER nurse that you would know this better than some. I never said I would be 5 feet from my child until he was 18. I don't put my child in a bubble, I simply choose to err on the side of caution when it comes to something like drowning, which is PREVENTABLE in many cases. In the US drowning is the second leading cause of death (after motor vehicle accidents) in children under age 12. However...you said one VERY important thing which is what my whole point was in the first place..."I'm perfectly comfortable letting my kids swim on their own in the pool with adult supervision." The OP was concerned because her husband did NOT know exactly where their son was, thus was NOT supervising him.

I would appreciate in the future that you not personally attack my parenting choices when I was simply giving the OP what she asked for...a way to help her husband understand why she didn't think it was ok to let their 6 year old run rampant at a pool.

 

[princesspeach]

I am not saying that these events are the norm, but they do happen more often than we all like to think. I would think that being an ER nurse that you would know this better than some. I never said I would be 5 feet from my child until he was 18. I don't put my child in a bubble, I simply choose to err on the side of caution when it comes to something like drowning, which is PREVENTABLE in many cases. In the US drowning is the second leading cause of death (after motor vehicle accidents) in children under age 12. However...you said one VERY important thing which is what my whole point was in the first place..."I'm perfectly comfortable letting my kids swim on their own in the pool with adult supervision." The OP was concerned because her husband did NOT know exactly where their son was, thus was NOT supervising him.

I would appreciate in the future that you not personally attack my parenting choices when I was simply giving the OP what she asked for...a way to help her husband understand why she didn't think it was ok to let their 6 year old run rampant at a pool.

Most of the drownings we have are by plain stupid parents. Drug addicts, prostitutes people that leave their kids in the bath tub and get high on meth. Most adult drownings are alcohol related. Rarely the type people you see at wdw. I have seen things I would never even mention on these boards because it would be too upsetting to people. Its an ugly world out there. I am not attacking your parenting anymore than you are attacking other peoples. I have no idea what the marital dynamic is between op and her husband. I don't even care to speculate. Like I said in a previous post anybody that says they have never lost sight of their kids for a few minutes is lying. The kids wasn't running rampant at the pool. He was in the play area. I let my 6 and 9 year old swim, go down the slide, run up and down the beach and play in the splash area at the poly or the bW. Me and my dh sit comfortably in our lounge chairs. If you feel were bad parents thats fine.

 

[MSSANDRA]

To not know where your 6 year old child is in a public place is neglect. You simply do leave a 6 year old unattended any where, much less around a pool. Things do happen and kids DO drown. We belong to a local county club pool and we go a LOT. The rules are any child under 10 must have an adult supervising them at all times. The life guards there are amazing but we are reminded all the time they are not baby sitters. Pulling a unwatched child out of water they should not have gotten into is not uncommon at all. There has never been a real emergency there in the 45 year old history but the rule of parents knowing where their child is is VERY strict.

Both my boys could swim well by four but MANY kids coming to WDW are not swimmers and have limited water experience. Most of the kids that end up in trouble at our pool are visitors that are not use to water time.

 

[bwilcox]

Most of the drownings we have are by plain stupid parents. Drug addicts, prostitutes people that leave their kids in the bath tub and get high on meth. Most adult drownings are alcohol related. Rarely the type people you see at wdw.

That may be true for the particular setting you work in, but overall, the CDC contradicts those statements. Here are some statistics:
*About 2 children drown everyday.
*For every child who dies from drowning, another four received emergency department care for nonfatal submersion injuries.
*Among children ages 1 to 4 years, most drownings occur in residential swimming pools. Most young children who drowned in pools were last seen in the home, had been out of sight less than five minutes, and were in the care of one or both parents at the time.

 

[nchulka]

To not know where your 6 year old child is in a public place is neglect. You simply do leave a 6 year old unattended any where, much less around a pool.

In YOUR opinion it is neglect. My son was is 7 now, at 6 he was very capable of being alone in public. My DD is a year and a half older than him and I actually tell her to stay with him and follow him because he is so responsible and great with direction. My DD would be turned around and lost, but DS always knows where he is, where he came from and where he's going. Just tonight we were at a 4th of July fair. There were bouncy houses and a petting zoo and playground etc. We set up chairs and blankets so the kids knew where we were and then they were off. They did the same last year at 6 & 8. Was I with my 6 year old, no. Was I neglectful, no. We met up from time to time, I wanted to take pix of them playing and such. I wouldn't drop my kids off at a pool and leave but I don't hover over them.

We go to the local Six Flags waterpark quite often. They have a gigantic kids climbing area with several slides coming off of it and netting to climb. It's huge. I haven't followed the kids through it since they were about 3-4. I tell them not to leave that area and they're off. Same at the wave pool. I usually let them each bring a friend so they each have a "buddy" to swim with. I can't imagine trying to actually follow 4 kids around by myself!

 

[alex9179]

I can't believe this is still going. Keeping an eye on an elementary child is not over-protective. It's common sense. The OP didn't express concern because someone wasn't standing over her kid every minute, she was concerned by the " he's around somewhere" comment. Maybe Dad knew where he was, maybe he didn't. The above response is not acceptable for a 6 yr old in an unfamilar environment.

Nobody said hover over your kid, but those of us who tend to be cautious mentioned maintaining eyes-on. Watch the child, make sure he/she is abiding by pool rules, and watch them have fun with others. All can be accomplished in concert. One doesn't have to hover to ensure safety. We are well aware of that.

And for heaven's sake, judging someone over life vests? Do you know the family and child at WDW? No. You have no idea what the child's limitations are, so judging the parents' for using safety equipment is pointless.

This is a good lesson in thinking beyond yourself. This is not your family, this is not your child, consider extenuating circumstances and when in doubt, ask questions.

 

[princessmom29]

In YOUR opinion it is neglect. My son was is 7 now, at 6 he was very capable of being alone in public. My DD is a year and a half older than him and I actually tell her to stay with him and follow him because he is so responsible and great with direction. My DD would be turned around and lost, but DS always knows where he is, where he came from and where he's going. Just tonight we were at a 4th of July fair. There were bouncy houses and a petting zoo and playground etc. We set up chairs and blankets so the kids knew where we were and then they were off. They did the same last year at 6 & 8. Was I with my 6 year old, no. Was I neglectful, no. We met up from time to time, I wanted to take pix of them playing and such. I wouldn't drop my kids off at a pool and leave but I don't hover over them.

We go to the local Six Flags waterpark quite often. They have a gigantic kids climbing area with several slides coming off of it and netting to climb. It's huge. I haven't followed the kids through it since they were about 3-4. I tell them not to leave that area and they're off. Same at the wave pool. I usually let them each bring a friend so they each have a "buddy" to swim with. I can't imagine trying to actually follow 4 kids around by myself!

I'm right there with you. I have not followed DD around the park since she was 3-4. I don't need to maintian line of sight at all times. She knows not to leave the area, and I check on her periodically. I feel like one of my jobs as a parent it to teach her to maintain a suitable level of indpendence from me.

 

[mjkacmom]

To not know where your 6 year old child is in a public place is neglect. You simply do leave a 6 year old unattended any where, much less around a pool. Things do happen and kids DO drown. We belong to a local county club pool and we go a LOT. The rules are any child under 10 must have an adult supervising them at all times. The life guards there are amazing but we are reminded all the time they are not baby sitters. Pulling a unwatched child out of water they should not have gotten into is not uncommon at all. There has never been a real emergency there in the 45 year old history but the rule of parents knowing where their child is is VERY strict.

Both my boys could swim well by four but MANY kids coming to WDW are not swimmers and have limited water experience. Most of the kids that end up in trouble at our pool are visitors that are not use to water time.

I left my 6 year olds unattended in my yard, all 5 of them. Heck, they start walking to school at 7 without me (with older siblings). We had no rules like that at our pool club. The only rule was no floation devices in the deep end. If a child wanted to be in that side of the pool, the child needed to be a strong swimmer. The swim club is over 50 years old, and no drownings. Kids are all over the place with no parents.

I've had a pool my entire life. Kids need to learn to swim well, and never swim without a buddy. It's very rare (actually, I've never heard of an incident), of a child drowning in a pool, who was a good swimmer, with a friend or sibling.

 

[WantToGoNow]

I'd have to say their is a HUGE difference between getting milk for yourself and being allowed to be unsupervised at a swimming pool. Huge! I get that you are trying to make a point on teaching kids to be self-sufficient.

That is exactly the point. Kids need to learn to do things for themselves and by 6 years of age, I would think a kid should be able to play in a splash area with less than 6" of water without a parent looking directly at them.

We are leaving now to go swimming at a local pool. I will keep a eye on my kids - especially dd7 since she's not a strong swimmer - but that will be from a distance, not right on top of her and she probably won't even know it's happening.

 

[NotUrsula]

In my opinion 6 year old should also know how to swim. It irritates me to see children over 4 with life jackets on.

... And so if for some reason the kid can't get it by age 4 the entire family must stay away from pools? Also, how exactly is that kid going to get practice if he can't get in the water? (We won't even go into the issue of wearing a life jacket on open water: NO ONE boards my boat without one on.)

DS had conventional swim lessons a few times per week from 9 mos old, yet at 4 he was still not a strong swimmer. It wasn't until we sent him to an intensive swim camp at age 7 that it finally clicked: after six weeks of spending 4 hours daily in a pool swimming laps.

What bothers me is seeing kids of ANY age using "swimmies" arm bands. They are not safe, and they should be banned. Proper USCG-certified PFD's, however, are good anywhere that a person needs to use them, and kudos to the parent who insists that kids wear them until they are mature enough to be counted on not to panic and swim DOWN if they get into trouble.

As for the OP; I'm with you on the details, but not on the reason. You should stay with your six year old because it is a water play situation, not because of any abduction risk. For that 5 minutes when no one knew where he was, he might have been on the bottom of the pool. Also, in my book any parent who stays fully dressed and out of the water cannot be said to be properly supervising a child in a pool: put on your suit and get IN.

 

[Pixiedust530]

Most of the drownings we have are by plain stupid parents. Drug addicts, prostitutes people that leave their kids in the bath tub and get high on meth. Most adult drownings are alcohol related. Rarely the type people you see at wdw. I have seen things I would never even mention on these boards because it would be too upsetting to people. Its an ugly world out there. I am not attacking your parenting anymore than you are attacking other peoples. I have no idea what the marital dynamic is between op and her husband. I don't even care to speculate. Like I said in a previous post anybody that says they have never lost sight of their kids for a few minutes is lying. The kids wasn't running rampant at the pool. He was in the play area. I let my 6 and 9 year old swim, go down the slide, run up and down the beach and play in the splash area at the poly or the bW. Me and my dh sit comfortably in our lounge chairs. If you feel were bad parents thats fine.

When you say "most of the drownings we have" are you referring to those you see in the ER where you work? I can tell you that in the city where I live there have been 4 children that have drowned in public pools in the past several weeks. None of these were a result of "stupid parents" as you call them or parents that were drug addicts, prostitutes or high on meth. They were simply accidents...they DO happen!

I NEVER said that you or anyone else here was a bad parent. We all parent our children differently and that is totally okay. Yes...as parents we have all lost sight of our children at some time or another...it happens. I will tell you that I have NEVER lost sight of my child at a pool. This doesn't mean that I hover or follow him through water features or hold his hand the entire time he swims. It means that I diligently watch every move my child makes in a pool. I ensure that he is NEVER out of my sight. My son also started swim lessons at 6 months old and is in fact quite a strong swimmer. I will continue to enroll him in swim lessons and will continue to help strengthen his swimming abilities. Does this mean that I watch him less...ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

 

[Aliceacc]

OK, slight problem: we're a 2 parent, 3 kid household. It's not physically possible to keep an eye on each of my children unless we surgicallly attach them to each other.

As to the issue of parents on the "deck" and not in swim clothes: I usually have my suit on if I'm down at the pool. But if I thought for a second that anyone-- my own kid or anyone else-- needed my help, what I was wearing would be a non-issue. I would be in the water in a heartbeat.Occasionally my husband and I tag-team watching the kids at the pool; if I'm on a quick shift while he's at the bathroom I don't find it necessary to change. Not that I would explain that to the other people judging me as a less than adequate parent because I wasn't in my bathing suit.

Finally, on the "anyone over 4 in a life jacket" issue: Up until she was 6, my youngest was in a life jacket anytime the pool ladder was down in my yard, regardless of whether she was swimming or not. Had one of the other 2, say, fallen and needed stitches, I could have taken my attention off my youngest for a few seconds without a real crisis developing. (And, yes, all my kids are total water rats. But until 2 years ago, the water in our 4 foot pool was over her head.)

My neighbor is a good swimmer at age 10. But he's a special needs kid, not in any way that's apparent to a stranger. If his mom chooses to put him in a life jacket, that's good parenting. But not that a stranger would notice.

Life jackets as a substitute for supervision are not OK. But as an added layer of protection I see nothing wrong with them. And my kids are in them any time they're in my sister's boat as well. Perhaps that older kid in a life jacket had several siblings, and the life jacket was an added layer of protection so the 2 parents watching would adequately supervise more than 2 kids. I don't know; I'm not the parent of the kid involved. But it certainly makes sense to me.

I'm a pretty conservative mom. But I've read generalization after generalization on this thread by people who see only a tiny little snapshot of a situation at a WDW pool and assume they're better at parenting the child than the actual parents of the child.

 

[AZMermaid]

... And so if for some reason the kid can't get it by age 4 the entire family must stay away from pools? Also, how exactly is that kid going to get practice if he can't get in the water? (We won't even go into the issue of wearing a life jacket on open water: NO ONE boards my boat without one on.)

.

I don't think anyone is saying no life vests on boats or lakes. If the child needs one in the pool, his parents should be in the pool swimming with him. How is he supposed to learn to swim with a life vest on? They are not allowed at any of our public pools and I love it. From what I see on the news, our drownings (sadly we have a lot) happen in backyards with no pool fences. I can not remember an incident at a public pool and it would be a BIG deal. There was one of a high school aged kid who drowned in his PE swim class a few years back. That is still big news.

 

[jodifla]

Again, I look at this in light of the Kidani pool. It's a small space, with lifeguards, and it seems to be a more typical male response to give the kids more room.

Also, in the Kidani pool, with a zero entry, it's my bet it's not over most 6 year old's heads. They've really moved away from deep pools at WDW.

To me, it's unfortunate that they put the water play area out of the sight of the pool. It's impossible to watch both areas at once.

 

[princesspeach]

That may be true for the particular setting you work in, but overall, the CDC contradicts those statements. Here are some statistics:
*About 2 children drown everyday.
*For every child who dies from drowning, another four received emergency department care for nonfatal submersion injuries.
*Among children ages 1 to 4 years, most drownings occur in residential swimming pools. Most young children who drowned in pools were last seen in the home, had been out of sight less than five minutes, and were in the care of one or both parents at the time.

No the cdc does not contradict those statements. Most drowning occur in backyard pools. Many of these parents don't have fences around the pool. The child slips out of the house when parents are not watching or even in some cases sleeping. I don't like to generalize, but drownings seem to occur in lower class neighborhoods. A lot of those families can't afford fences, or are just not that educated, and no I am not saying wealthy peoples kids don't drown. Everytime there is a drowning its huge news in az. With everyone in az having a pool, and all the thousands of kids swimming everyday there were still only 9 child deaths in 2010. I am going to go out on a limb here, and assume that those were children under the age of 4 that could not swim and drown in their backyard pool. I can't remember ever hearing about a death in a public pool here or in one of our resorts. The point is its very rare for a kid than can swim to just suddenly sink to the bottom to the pool.