Please stop screaming at your children in public!!!

[NikitaZee]

I'm with you 100% OP. My husband is a yeller. I am not. If parents who yell would realize that it is infinitely more effective to actually kneel down to a child's level and speak to them eye to eye - much more would be accomplished with much less volume. Even in a public place. I too can't stand it when a child is yelled at, spoken meanly to or chastised loudly in public. It's embarrassing to the children and the onlookers. I often ask my husband - would you tolerate our kids' teachers yelling at them the way you do when you're mad? Of course not. Just because we're Mom and Dad doesn't mean respect for our kids' feelings goes out the window when we're angry or stressed. I know we all slip up now and then, but in public it's just not acceptable unless there's danger involved.

 

[hentob]

My husband is a yeller. I am not. If parents who yell would realize that it is infinitely more effective to actually kneel down to a child's level and speak to them eye to eye - much more would be accomplished with much less volume.

Well said.

Woudn't it be a fabulous world if everyone was the perfect parent?

It _would_ be wonderful if people would realize that they have a HUGE responsibility to try their very best to be a good parent.

It doesn't come easy every day, but to brush off screaming at a child (or anyone, for that matter) as "no big deal" is wrong.

I don't think you have to be perfect to treat your child with respect

Everyone loses their temper every once in a while. If it happens often, I think there may be some issues. It could be that you have not raised your children to respect you, or maybe there are anger issues.

But to do the whole accusatory "must be nice to be perfect" is a cop out.

 

[dawson5]

I don't doubt that I have made plenty of poor choices that I looked back on and regreted.

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it just happens!

I think the acceptance of the mistake and the actions taken after the moment speak volumes to the kids.

It is unrealistic (to me) to think that a voice will never get raised by parents. I have this hanging in my kitchen:

In this home...
We do second chances
We do Grace
We do Real
We do Mistakes
We do I'm Sorrys
We do Loud really well
We do Hugs
We do Family
We do Love.

To me, that says it all!

We have this one:


If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

Amanda Cater

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I agree. While yes, it is easy to judge people when they are losing it, you have no idea what they are going through personally. I don't call my child names but I'm not the perfect parent either.

WHAT??? Someone on the Disboards is NOT a perfect parent

 

[ReneeA]

Well said.



It _would_ be wonderful if people would realize that they have a HUGE responsibility to try their very best to be a good parent.

It doesn't come easy every day, but to brush off screaming at a child (or anyone, for that matter) as "no big deal" is wrong.

I don't think you have to be perfect to treat your child with respect

Everyone loses their temper every once in a while. If it happens often, I think there may be some issues. It could be that you have not raised your children to respect you, or maybe there are anger issues.

But to do the whole accusatory "must be nice to be perfect" is a cop out.

I make my best effort every single day to be the best parent I can be. There have been times I have lost my temper, but then sat down and apologized and discussed the incident later with my kids.

I don't claim to be a perfect person, perfect parent, or perfect anything. I don't agree with screaming at your kids, but I also don't believe in criticizing others for their parenting skills either....which seems to be a super popular thing to do around these parts.

 

[luvflorida]

WHAT??? Someone on the Disboards is NOT a perfect parent

I don't claim to be a perfect person, perfect parent, or perfect anything. I don't agree with screaming at your kids, but I also don't believe in criticizing others for their parenting skills either....which seems to be a super popular thing to do around these parts.

I don't think anyone on this thread is claiming to be a perfect parent. I certainly know I wasn't put on this planet to judge how other people raise their children. However, whenever I see or hear another adult screaming at a child, and/or treating a child in a humiliating, degrading manner in public, yes, I find fault with that adult's behavior.

 

[hentob]

I don't agree with screaming at your kids, but I also don't believe in criticizing others for their parenting skills either.....

Screaming at a child is in no way, shape or form a skill

For what it is worth, I have always enjoyed your posts and I am not speaking about the way that _you_ parent

 

[hentob]

I agree. While yes, it is easy to judge people when they are losing it, you have no idea what they are going through personally. I don't call my child names but I'm not the perfect parent either.

I once witnessed a parent screaming SO hard at their child that spit was flying out of their mouth and fire was in their eyes. The child tripped and was crying and the parent was calling him a baby and SCREAMING for him to stand up.

I didn't care what that parent was going through. They were treating their child like dirt

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I don't think anyone on this thread is claiming to be a perfect parent. I certainly know I wasn't put on this planet to judge how other people raise their children. However, whenever I see or hear another adult screaming at a child, and/or treating a child in a humiliating, degrading manner in public, yes, I find fault with that adult's behavior.

I wasn't attacking you...I was making a joke...LOL...it's not everyday that someone on an internet forum openly admits that they are not a perfect parent

 

[tinkerfan1]

We have this one:


If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

Amanda Cater

I like that. And, to another poster, no we shouldn't "judge" other people but when something is wrong it is wrong. Nobody deserves to be berated. I've seen a child get smacked in public, too. I don't like that, either. I also saw an adult get smacked by her husband at Disney World. That, too, was wrong. It was in front of their daughter. I wish a policeman would have been around. Wrong is wrong.

 

[Robinrs]

I make my best effort every single day to be the best parent I can be. There have been times I have lost my temper, but then sat down and apologized and discussed the incident later with my kids.

I don't claim to be a perfect person, perfect parent, or perfect anything. I don't agree with screaming at your kids, but I also don't believe in criticizing others for their parenting skills either....which seems to be a super popular thing to do around these parts.

Amen.

I am amazed at how people here seem to be such PERFECT parents with perfect children and wonderful husbands but have HORRENDOUS mothers in law.

I would just LOVE to hear what the children, husbands and the mothers in law have to say about THEM.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Amen.

I am amazed at how people here seem to be such PERFECT parents with perfect children and wonderful husbands but have HORRENDOUS mothers in law.

I would just LOVE to hear what the children, husbands and the mothers in law have to say about THEM.

Well said