Please......some prayers-FINAL ? UPDATE-POST 47

[minkydog]

You have my prayers and support. I know this is not easy for either of you. OP, I went through a similar thing last year. My poor husband didn't know what to do with me and I tried to just "handle it" myself until before I knew it I was taking meds, mine, hubby's,the dog's, to cope. And not just a couple. A lot. I cannot tell you the terrible pain I was in. Admitting myself to the hospital saved my life. I would not have lived through the night.

One of the reasons that they don't allow cell phones is security reasons. So many phones have cameras on them now. It would be very easy to secretly videotape other people. The potential for HIPAA violations is enormous. Another reason for that rule is that he needs to be able to concentrate on his own healing, very difficult to do when you're in constant contact with your family. I know you want to hear from him and he wants to hear from you, but honestly? Family can be one of the biggest stumbling blocks to stability in the early phases. That's why they limit visitation too. WHile he is there he needs to be throwing himself into the intensive treatment available. Meds alone will not fix this. A good psych program includes intensive therapy, individual and group, an exercise program, family therapy, intensive psych education, AND meds.

I spent 8 weeks in teh hospital last year. Not something I wanted to do, believe me.I was just so tired of being deeply depressed. My dear husband was extremely understanding and supportive, even though he didn't always understand what was happening to me. I"m here today because I took my recovery seriously. I cannot even describe how much better I am now. DH & I looked at the time and money expended and decided that it was an investment in our future. We did what we needed to do to make it work. When I graduated the program I was just starting my personal recovery. I've been out for 11months and I can tell you that life has so much meaning and hope now. I never thought I would say that. I have had a 180 degree tidal wave of change for the better.

Best of luck to your husband. I hope you will encourage him to stay in the hospital longer than 3 days. Three days is NOT enough time to stabilize, heal, and recover from severe depression.

 

[Floridagal23]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

As an FYI, the life insurance policy probably has an exclusion for suicide. So that is definitely not a good reason to do it!!!

 

[C.Ann]

How scary! I will definitely keep your DH, you, and the entire family in my thoughts and prayers..

 

[karen l]

Your family will be in my prayers. Wishing you & your DH all the best.

 

[iwrbnd]

Sorry from me too!

 

[freddog]

Thank you everyone for your prayers and your sharing of your own experiences.

I talked to him last night. He seemed okay. I think the hardest thing for him is going to be missing the kids. They started him on some meds.

It's 4:30a now and I'm awake. At least I did get some sleep. I work 3rd shift, so ya think I'd be used to no sleep! Yesterday, though, I worked, came home and took him in, and then didn't get to bed until 9:30p and here it is 7 hours later and I'm back up.

I'm so pooped right now!

 

[sunnyday123]

to you and your family.

 

[RitaZ.]

The fact that he asked you to take him to the hospital is a really good sign. He wants help. I wish him and your whole family the best.

Do you have family nearby that can offer you support? Stay strong.

 

[freddog]

Well, I was able to visit with him tonight. He looked better. He got teary a couple of times, but he looked so much calmer and relaxed.

He was a little bothered because they told him he'd be there 5-6 days, but I asked him if he regretted going in and he, right away, said no-that if he hadn't, he definitely would've done something. So scary for me to even think about that.

His biggest issue is his job. Right now, that is his major source of stress. I have a meeting with the doctor on Thursday. I'm going to ask her about taking him off work for maybe a month. He will be needing to go to counselling when he is done and being off will let him do that, plus give him time to figure out what he will do as far as the job goes. And he "should" be able to get short term disability, I think.

My kids are having a much tougher time tonight as compared to last night.

I never dreamed how hard this would be......on all of us. My parents are on vacation in SC, but they cut it short and should hopefully be home on Thursday.

On a side note, to distract myself and keep myself busy today, I moved the stove to clean under/behind it today. Probably should do that more often than once every few years, huh?

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

Well, I was able to visit with him tonight. He looked better. He got teary a couple of times, but he looked so much calmer and relaxed.

He was a little bothered because they told him he'd be there 5-6 days, but I asked him if he regretted going in and he, right away, said no-that if he hadn't, he definitely would've done something. So scary for me to even think about that.

His biggest issue is his job. Right now, that is his major source of stress. I have a meeting with the doctor on Thursday. I'm going to ask her about taking him off work for maybe a month. He will be needing to go to counselling when he is done and being off will let him do that, plus give him time to figure out what he will do as far as the job goes. And he "should" be able to get short term disability, I think.

My kids are having a much tougher time tonight as compared to last night.

I never dreamed how hard this would be......on all of us. My parents are on vacation in SC, but they cut it short and should hopefully be home on Thursday.

On a side note, to distract myself and keep myself busy today, I moved the stove to clean under/behind it today. Probably should do that more often than once every few years, huh?

I am happy to hear that he did go and is doing better, I also hope everything works out with his job.
As far as the stove goes....we got a brand new stove 2 years ago when we moved in here....yeah...I have no idea what maybe be under there now.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

I am so glad he decided on his own that he needed help. Keeping your family in my prayers.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well, I was able to visit with him tonight. He looked better. He got teary a couple of times, but he looked so much calmer and relaxed.

He was a little bothered because they told him he'd be there 5-6 days, but I asked him if he regretted going in and he, right away, said no-that if he hadn't, he definitely would've done something. So scary for me to even think about that.

His biggest issue is his job. Right now, that is his major source of stress. I have a meeting with the doctor on Thursday. I'm going to ask her about taking him off work for maybe a month. He will be needing to go to counselling when he is done and being off will let him do that, plus give him time to figure out what he will do as far as the job goes. And he "should" be able to get short term disability, I think.

My kids are having a much tougher time tonight as compared to last night.

I never dreamed how hard this would be......on all of us. My parents are on vacation in SC, but they cut it short and should hopefully be home on Thursday.

On a side note, to distract myself and keep myself busy today, I moved the stove to clean under/behind it today. Probably should do that more often than once every few years, huh?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Keeping you in my prayers. So glad he got help.

 

[freddog]

Just got back from meeting with doctor and social worker. She went over some of the things he's talked about and asked for my input.

The doctor also advised that he should likely quit his job and try to find one in a different line of work. We kind of figured this was going to need to be an outcome before the doc told us this, but I (and he), are, of course, scared as hell. He will quit, I mean his life is not worth the job, but now we will have the added money worries until he finds something. Since he will quit, he won't be able to collect unemployment, so our income will be halved.

We'll be okay for a couple of months as we have the money we had saved for Florida in May to use as backup (believe me, giving up our trip to Florida after waiting for 5 years is racking up his guilt, too, even though I've told him it's fine....we'll do Florida when he can truly enjoy it).

But, after that it'll be pretty dang tight.

They're looking at a Monday discharge for him. I miss him so much. This really, really, really sucks!

 

[npmommie]

Just got back from meeting with doctor and social worker. She went over some of the things he's talked about and asked for my input.

The doctor also advised that he should likely quit his job and try to find one in a different line of work. We kind of figured this was going to need to be an outcome before the doc told us this, but I (and he), are, of course, scared as hell. He will quit, I mean his life is not worth the job, but now we will have the added money worries until he finds something. Since he will quit, he won't be able to collect unemployment, so our income will be halved.

We'll be okay for a couple of months as we have the money we had saved for Florida in May to use as backup (believe me, giving up our trip to Florida after waiting for 5 years is racking up his guilt, too, even though I've told him it's fine....we'll do Florida when he can truly enjoy it).

But, after that it'll be pretty dang tight.

They're looking at a Monday discharge for him. I miss him so much. This really, really, really sucks!

since the doctor has suggested he quit his job would he qualify for ssi because of this? I would ask the social worker
things will get better, it is good he is getting treatment, and you are right florida is not going anywhere, his health is the most important thing,
hugs to you both

 

[Brit17]

Instead of your DH quitting his job immediately, why doesn't he just take a leave of absence? ... if his company won't grant him a leave, he may still qualify under FMLA (depending if his company has over 50 employees, is a governmental agency or a school)... this way it will give him some time to think about things before making any decisions ... also, sometimes, under a leave or FMLA, some companies will allow you to use your sick/personal/vacation days accrued so you will still get paid ... when you've used all your accrued days, that's when the leave will be unpaid ... however, you may still be eligible to receive disability from your state or federal level ...

Your DH's work's HR department should be able to provide you with more details ...

I wish you all the best

 

[DizBelle]

Keep in mind that FMLA does not protect you from being laid off.

 

[jlewisinsyr]

Keep in mind that FMLA does not protect you from being laid off.

No, but then Severance and Unemployment are fully available if they do.

 

[bumbershoot]

Instead of your DH quitting his job immediately, why doesn't he just take a leave of absence? ... if his company won't grant him a leave, he may still qualify under FMLA (depending if his company has over 50 employees, is a governmental agency or a school)... this way it will give him some time to think about things before making any decisions ... also, sometimes, under a leave or FMLA, some companies will allow you to use your sick/personal/vacation days accrued so you will still get paid ... when you've used all your accrued days, that's when the leave will be unpaid ... however, you may still be eligible to receive disability from your state or federal level ...

Your DH's work's HR department should be able to provide you with more details ...

I wish you all the best

Yes, all of that. If he can get FMLA, try that. I took FMLA time for my own mental health...just 2 weeks, and then the doctor refused to extend it, so then I quit. But it was a good thing to have those 2 weeks to see if it was something inside my head, or if it was a reaction to the evil evil boss. It was the boss!

So look into that for sure.

 

[Brit17]

Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) Poster:

http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/posters/fmlaen.pdf