Please share your thoughts on this question.

[Randi]

In Feb 2002, a 20+ year friendship between another woman and myself came to an end. She became angry about something I did or said, and I have not heard from her since. I wrote a note apoligizing for whatever I may have done but never heard anything. Over the years, she had met my father and great aunt, and seemed to enjoy their company. She & her husband had visited them, with me along, and she sent cards at Christmas to them. Now this morning, my father said he thought it was funny that she didn't send a card this past Christmas even if she was mad at me. I have been thinking it over, and I don't think it was so strange. I didn't send cards to her sons' and their families as I had been doing. I just didn't want to start anything, like make them think they would be taking sides, etc.
My question is, would you have sent a card to extended family members if the people who brought you together were no longer friends?

 

[Jeafl]

I still keep in touch with the parents of a former friend. She and I were friends for about 15 years and I was very close to her parents. Then she went wacko, and her parents always felt bad about it. I'm still very fond of them and have no intention of cutting off contact with them because of what their daughter did.

 

[snoopy]

I haven't had any feuds with friends like this, the closest thing I can compare it to is my ex-SIL's parents. When my brother and former SIL divorced, it was VERY difficult for me - not just because I adored my SIL, but I also loved her parents. I do still keep in touch with her parents (and obviously my SIL, she is the mother to my nieces and nephew) - in fact we just vacationed with them a couple of years ago.

I think I would feel the same way if it were a feud. No sense in cutting off the whole family just because you had a falling out with one of its members.

 

[Pumbaa_]

I could see it either way. If there was a relationship independent of your friuendship then I would continue the cards. But since it was dependent on the friendship that no longer exists, I can see your view in not continuing. WHy continue when the friendship is on the rocks and may be over. (you never know what tomorrow brings. My best friend and I stopped talking 3 years ago. SHe recently contacted me out of the blue when she saw the announcement of my FIL's death. I missed her and we are resuming our friendship, so never say never! )

Good luck!

 

[mickey65]

I had a similar situation occur, although the friendship has not been as long. I debated on sending cards too, and decided to because my friendship was with them also. My friend recently called me(after 2 years of our not talking....for reasons I still don't know what happened) and it is like we never had been apart. I hope the best for you and your friend.

 

[wdw4us]

My friend when I was a teenager decided I was not worth her time. I never knew what I did wrong. My husband thinks she was jealous of me. I saw her a couple of times and she was polite but that's about it.

I recently saw her dad at the grocery store. He was so nice and friendly as if the years had melted away. He even Remember my husbands name tho we had just barely started dating at the time the friendship broke up.

To this day I still miss her and wonder how my life would have been different had we stayed together. I have a lot of friends now and am a much different person, but I still feel sad now and then about it all.

I think if you like her family and they like yours, why not. Stay in touch you can never have enough friends.

denise