please pray for my friends...

[tiggger1]

I am so angry and sad right now!!!! My friend is a foster mom to a beautiful 2 year old who was severely abused at 2 months old. She had a broken leg and severe head trauma and bleeding on the brain and needed 3 brain surgeries. The birth mother ( who is only 16, now) refused to give up custody and she had to go to court months ago for the criminal charges for the abuse. My friend wants to adopt her little girl and has been waiting for 5 months for the verdict and the other day the judge awarded custody back to the birth mother....

I am so angry and sad, I am shaking as I type this.. please pray for my friend Marie and precious little girl.

 

[karen l]

What is wrong with our judicial system?
Prayers for your friend & the little girl.

 

[Green Tea]

A story in the news this week had a child abduction. After a few days it came out that the birth family had covered up the death of the child who had recently been given back to the birth family even though CPS recommended against it. The child was thriving in foster care, so the judge gave him back to the family that had neglected and had prior convictions. Horrible story. When the child was 15 months old and entered foster care, he weighed 8 pounds. Yes, eight.

I am really sorry for your friends. And angered that judges feel birth is stronger than love and common sense.

 

[dakcp2001]

I wish there was some sort of repercussion for judges who make bad decisions. I think they should be held acountable and liable if their decision causes someone to be harmed. I think this would impact how many "chances" they give to the degenerates.

I feel for your friend, how awful it must be to watch this. WHat could this judge be thinking? This poor child has been through enough, and deserves a safe happy life.

 

[tiggger1]

Thanks guys! What is worse is that the BM has no support system at all. the Birth father gave up his rights when he heard that his daughter was delayed ( after the abuse) the BM parents told the court they dont want anything to do with their granddaughter and if their daughter got custody she would have to move out. The birth mother barely interacts with her dd at visits and just sits there and texts her friend. The little girl has nightmares after visiting the BM and a court appointed psychologist recommended to stop the visits due to the trauma it was causing the little girl, so how the judge ( a woman btw) could give her back to her BM after looking at the pictures of the beaten and broken baby is beyond words...

 

[tinkerfan1]

This is so horrible. I would LOVE to be a foster parent and we have considered it seriously. I know there would be things that would break my heart but something like this would just throw me over the edge. This is disgusting. Please say this can somehow be changed.

 

[holycow]

Oh, that is heartbreaking!!!

What was the judge thinking!!!!!!

 

[Jillpie]

Did the judge offer any reason for her decision?? Did they find out who abused this poor baby, could it have been a boyfriend who is no longer in the picture? I don't know, I'm trying to make sense out of something that is senseless and cruel here. Awful, just plain awful.

 

[Planogirl]

Who actually abused the baby? I agree, there has to be some reasoning behind the ruling. Ugh, I can't imagine what it is though.

 

[MM27]

I know someone going through the same thing but the birth mother is a known drug addict. Both of her children were born addicted. She finally let the couple adopt the first child and then was playing games with the second one. The judge was almost trying to convince the birth mother to not give the second one up.

Sending out good thoughts for your friend and the child.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

That is why I could never do foster. I would want to flip out on someone.

Some judges just really believe bio is better, I can't think of any other reason they would be stupid enough to give her back in that situation. The grandparents don't even want her so who is going to help this mom?

I am so sad for that little girl and so sorry for your friend.

 

[tiggger1]

I am not positive but I think because they cannot prove the mother did it. The BM says she doesn't know how it happened, she also swears that her boyfriend didnt do it ( not sure if the boyfriend and the father are the same people) She said she found her that way but couldnt say who was with the baby at the time. I do know you have hit at baby pretty hard to break a leg and the head trauma was from blunt object ( possibly the faucet in the bathtub) not shaking...

 

[diznygirl]

So what does your friend plan to do about this? I hope she plans on fighting to keep the girl.

 

[RN2003AZ]

Welcome to the MA DSS system... the courts in this state will do anything to allow a child to be with it's mother. I can't tell you the amount of babies we send home whose mom's are drug addicts and the babies have been born with drugs in their system. To me, that's abuse... but there are no repercussions for stupidity around here. The system will contiue to fail these poor kids until someone has the common sense to realize that just because you were the sperm/egg donor that doesnt' make you fit to be a parent... OK sorry, I'm coming down off my soapbox now...

 

[nmmom95]

I'm so sorry for your friend and so sad for her little girl. I don't understand how some one could hurt a child. And WHAT was the judge thinking?!

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I am so sorry for your friend and for the little girl....the mother should have been in jail for the rest of her life and never allowed to see her daughter again much less allowed to have custody.

 

[C.Ann]

Welcome to the MA DSS system... the courts in this state will do anything to allow a child to be with it's mother. I can't tell you the amount of babies we send home whose mom's are drug addicts and the babies have been born with drugs in their system. To me, that's abuse... but there are no repercussions for stupidity around here. The system will contiue to fail these poor kids until someone has the common sense to realize that just because you were the sperm/egg donor that doesnt' make you fit to be a parent... OK sorry, I'm coming down off my soapbox now...

When you mentioned "MA" that really struck a nerve with me.. I have a cousin in MA that has been doing foster care for many, many years.. Quite a few years ago she and her DH were fostering an infant baby boy - who had been severely abused by both the mother and father.. As time went on, it appeared that at some point in time the parents were definitely going to lose custody permanently and my cousin and her DH would be allowed to adopt him.. (They only had one child of their own.. Due to complications from a BC device that was later recalled, my cousin was never able to have any additional children..) Anyhow - this dragged on forever and ever - and of course they became more and more attached to this little boy.. Then when he was 5 years old, the courts took him back and returned him to his abusive parents.. My cousin fell into a severe depression and the emotional stress and heartache came very, very close to destroying her marriage..

For a few years after that, she wanted no part of fostering - ever again - until another infant boy needed a home.. They decided to "chance" it one more time - and this time they were actually able to adopt him..

From that point on, they fostered many, many children - of all ages - but the end result was always that they were returned to the birth parent(s) - regardless of the circumstances..

Still to this day, she wonders what happened to little Larry (her DH passed away quite suddenly in 2004), but once he was removed from their home and returned to his parents, they were no longer privy to any info..

On the other hand, my sister spent many years fostering children here in NY - and in all cases, if there was any sort of abuse involved, drug use, alcoholism, etc., - the parents really had to jump through hoops to prove they had gotten their act together before these kids were returned to them.. I don't know if that's always the case in NY - or just the particular foster program she was signed on with - but I'm so glad that these poor kids were not returned to unsafe environments..

OP: I will keep your friends - and this little child - in my thoughts and prayers..

 

[4nana]

My heart breaks for your friends and that poor little innocent girl . Sometimes I really have to wonder about the legal system . I did foster care for some time and left the system because I'd become too attached, sorry to say for me it was simply so difficult to deal with physically and emotionally . Sending prayers for all involved ~
God bless this child!

 

[rie'smom]

That is so sad and MASS is not the only state where this happens.
My son clerked for a family court judge in our state and had to leave the job because he got so depressed seeing what he called "scum of the earth" parents getting their children back when it was easy to see the kids would suffer.

 

[mlittig]

That makes no sense and is so heartbreaking