please ignore

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[Lyn5]

I have been reading these discussion boards for several months to gather ideas for taking my family (dh, dd3 and ds4) to Disney World in December. I have never posted before today, but now I feel compelled to say that I too appreciate the good ideas people have been giving.

I am far from perfect and can see both sides of the debt issue. I try very hard to be frugal and save while at the same time enjoying life, especially since my children are growing too fast. It is difficult for me to find that balance between enjoying life now and preparing for the future, but I would like to thank everyone for the good ideas and I wanted to let you know some of the ideas I personally found helpful which I wasn’t doing already:

1. I think it was on another post where someone suggested paying whatever is left in your checkbook out into debt or into savings the night before payday....to get that extra in.

2. Taking on a second, part-time job. DH and I make a comfortable living and have both cars paid and no cable, but we do enjoy going on vacations and doing things with our children. I always thought that since we both work full-time jobs and clean our home and do things as a family on the weekends, I didn’t have the time or energy for a side job....wrong! I found that I am able to do occasional consulting in my field that may involve working a couple nights at home for a few hours and an occasional Saturday away from home. I realized that my family and household chores would survive without my constant supervision. I made a deal with my husband that 3/4 of the money I made would go to our vacation fund and a 1/4 would go to him for him to spend on his hobbies...I did this twice last month and it worked out well. In fact, DH did the dishes while I was working and my kids had a fun day with their dad. Plus, in this way we can have money for the “extras” while using our regular income for all our bills, childcare, etc.

3. That there is soooo much good information on these discussion boards that really can save a person time and increase their vacation experience.

Thank you all!

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[C.Ann]

I said over and over, give ideas if you have them. Nothing more noting less. If you have one, post it, if not .... move on. If its a waste of time? why did you post ???

--------------
How many times would you like people to give you ideas before you respond? There have been numerous ideas given to you - you simply choose to ignore them..

I honestly and truly don't know what you expect - or want - people to say..

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[dvcgirl]

Are you saying, you think a financial planner CARES about my money more than I do? They are in the business to MAKE money.Until I learn what I need to know, so I can keep my power and KNOW what I am doing, I am not going to go there. I won't be putting my financial life in anyone elses hands but ours.

And please stop with the no food on the table thing... obviously we are eating, maybe not steak and tips, but we are making it. Do you recall me saying I have not one late bill or not one mark on our credit? I have been living paycheck to paycheck my whole life, this is how I am where I am. Last year was the start of change, this year we will take it much further. It is all about LEARNING NEW WAYS.

I'm not saying that a financial planner cares more about your money than you do. However, a good financial planner has the education and skills to help you increase your wealth (and in your case get out of debt). Caring has nothing to do with it. You're adding an emotional angle to this when there really is none. In your case, a good financial planner would a.) assist you with a plan to help you get out of debt. b.) assist you in creating a monthly budget that you would need to learn to follow and c.) once out of debt help you to increase your assets. Nothing more...nothing less.

As far as the "no food on the table thing", well, I'm only going by the facts that you've given us. In your inital post you said that after you paid all of your monthly bills that there was a $400 deficit and that didn't include purchasing food and fuel for your cars. You also indicated that you were the "queen of personal loans" and that you were maxed out and couldn't obtain any further loans. So, you tell me....where does the food money come from? Credit cards? You've also said that you've never been late with one bill/payment. How is that possible when you're $400 short per month? I think your math is a little fuzzy.

And you're right, it is about "learning new ways". I wish you the best with that.

 

[floridagirrl2]

--------------
How many times would you like people to give you ideas before you respond? There have been numerous ideas given to you - you simply choose to ignore them..

I honestly and truly don't know what you expect - or want - people to say..

I saw somewhere in this thread or in the earlier thread that the original poster said her house is worth double what they owe. Why not downsize for a few years to pay off what seems to be crushing debt? There have been many useful ideas presented that the o.p. will not address--I think she wants to cut the small things (like coffee) and ignore the big things, like 4 cars, private schools, the house, etc. Small cuts are certainly adequate for some debt situations, but they don't sound adequate for the o.p.'s situation. However, perhaps the original post was overstated for impact and the o.p. really does not have that many debt concerns.

 

[C.Ann]

minnie1928 and justcruisin,

Thanks so much ! Yes I am married. DH has a job that he never knows when he is getting out, and we have DD, so drop off and pick up is a challenge as it is.

I could sell things... I have done EBAY before so I would have to dig around to find stuff to sell. I already am listening to Dave! This weekend I found his site and I am going to the library to get the book too!

I really dont own anyone other than loans. I pay cash at dentist as I go and cash when I get a car repair. It just means no bills get paid that week and and that keeps happening each week.

Here is where I am now and what I think I can changes:

I handle the $$ in the house.

I have my mortgage taken out weekly by a equity company, this allows for an extra payment a couple times a year on principal. I do this for my car and the mortgage. Every Monday they automatically withdraw X amount and send those payments in for me. This works well for me, except when DH goes to the atm (gas or food shopping) and makes that account low.

1. To solve that, I think I should have X amount go to DH own atm acccount and have ONLY these bills paid out of the other account.

Another thing is, I did a excell sheet today and after paying ALL monlthy bills, credit and utilites, we are short 400.00! That is no gas and no food or any other thing that happens.

2. I stopped my 401K for now, but we haven't stopped his. We work at the same company and both have great benefits and 401K. I don't know what to do here. How do I get out of debt when I have no extra????

I changed ISP and saved 25.00. I lowered cable to the basic for 19.00 a month. I changed cell service to a lower plan.

3. I don't have anything else to cut here? Or do I?

I have free daycare all summer from friends, so that is a good thing. I feel bad I can't give them a little money, but I can't. I have never been so broke and am used to taking care of others, I spent like crazy on others when I could... this is a different pair of shoes for me to wear!

I haven't been shopping, movies or anything. I got that part down. Today I sat down with DD and went over a fake budget and showed her how things work and why Mom keeps saying no. She got it. DH is just so upset these days that I am on this alone until he comes around... he just can't see how this can happen

I am powerful when I put my mind to something... I learn and learn... so I am looking for ALL and ANY ideas you guys can come up with that I may have overlooked.


THANKS pals!!!!!!

--------------------------------------------

This is what you originally said.. Think about.. Go back and read what you said on the other threads.. You are contradicting yourself all over the place..

If you want help, you need to be HONEST and you need to be REALISTIC - otherwise you have done nothing but waste the time of the people who have tried to HELP you...

 

[ksoehrlein]

Everyone's been talking about millionaires, so here is a scary thought:

The company I work for is in the process of switching 401(k) plans and as a result, they had a financial advisor come in and give a seminar about investing. A few years ago, I read that people should plan to have about $1 million in order to retire at a middle-class level. Well, the financial advisor we met with last week said that figure is now $2 million.

I guess a million dollars isn't considered "a lot" of money anymore -- although I certainly wouldn't turn up my nose if $1 million landed on my doorstep. Can you imagine the things we'll be posting in 30 years if this is true? "DH and I only have $1.75 million. How will we survive, let alone go to WDW?" I just can't wrap my brain around everyone *needing* to be a multi-millionaire.

Anyway, in light of this, I am faithfully contributing to my 401(k), up to the full amount my company will match. It's free money that I know I will need in the future. (When our other debt is paid off, I will contribute the maximum allowable percentage.) OP, I suggest if there's any way to juggle your contributions so that you and DH can both contribute the maximum that your company will match, you should do so. If DH is already contributing more than that, he should drop down to the maximum match amount and maybe that will give you some extra take-home pay?

By the way, I second the suggestion about financial planners. Laws vary by state, but in several states that I've lived in, they do not make a dime off of you for their time. They are paid by the investment groups that they get their clients to invest in. You might want to see how they are paid in your state and consider it.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I am not in a postition to run out and put most of these idea in action today. That would be making a decision without knowing what our goals are.

What don't you get about learning and gathering information? This is how I tackle EVERYTHING I am eager to learn. I wont read 1 book, I'll read as much as I can. I won't do what ONE person says and dump all the others are saying. I take the information in and I write down notes as I read. This takes time and effort.

Seems to me that you, like others here, cant relate because you haven't been where I am.

My DH makes 6 figures ???? HUH ??? See, you don't know what you are talking about!!!! THAT IS NOT TRUE !

The problem is that instead of posting which ideas are helpful or what you find useful, you have continually argued with each poster's suggestions as not being feasible for you. That's not learning, you need an open mind to learn. In my opinion, you posted for others to tell you that they're in the same boat as you and make you feel better and it put you on the defensive when so many posters said they were debt free or working towards that. If you wanted emotional support you should've asked for it instead of asking for budget help. They can only give you what you ask for. You're getting defensive because of people making assumptions. If you want further budget advice with exact facts and figures that fits your lifestyle to a T you will have to give the exact facts and figures that describe your lifestyle, then people don't have to make assumptions. If you don't want to do that, which would be understandable, take the info you need and leave what you don't, but don't argue with every person's suggestions and tell them they're assuming when they HAVE to.

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[CarolA]

Who are you talking about here? I certainly DO NOT live like a millionaire. Where do you get this stuff? I wouldn't even want to be a millionaire !!!!! ALL the crap that comes with that is NOT for us. Sorry... wrong agian!

Envious ??? The ones I am envious of would be the SAH parents that are SACRAFICING so much to do what is most important in this world !!! The Joneses are NOT anything I ever want to be. A new car means NOTHING to me. Having my nails done, NEVER have in my life!!! Drycleaning- NEVER. Lawn service -NEVER! Cable pay for shows channels -NEVER.

I am simple and you got me all wrong!

THe Jonses green grass and flowers and nice cars and what the heck ever .... I just look and think.... hmmm not where I put MY money. How different we all are....

WHOA!!! People are making suggestions and at this point LOTS of them (in fact the last 5 or so pages at least) are not even directed at you!

As for Drycleaning NEVER in some cases that is just not possible LOL! I for example have a job where certain attire is expected. This attire does NOT do well in your local washer/dryer. I don't think my coworkers would appreciate me giving up drycleaning LOL! Some common sense does need to break out here!

I am not sure what you want since ALL advice you have received is bad. However, that's OK... this thread is no longer about your issues! What do you want us to say? "Wow your expenses are greater then your income, isn't that great". Not going to happen!

And once again... you and DH both have full time jobs but you have no money and we get the post that you spend nothing.... It's like you want us to believe cash just disappears from your bank account????

Of course you never really address the suggestions that people make that would save LOTS of money (private school, Disney Vacations etc...) We all get the "I don't spend money" part, but you do....... 1 and 1 don't equal 2 here. (And if your expenses are greater then your income NOW and you aren't paying for daycare what does happen when school starts again???)

(Is anyone else beginning to find this either amusing and/or sad??? I can't really decide)

 

[floridagirrl2]

(Is anyone else beginning to find this either amusing and/or sad??? I can't really decide)

I think the o.p. likes all the attention! She certainly doesn't want advice.

 

[Nik's Mom]

CarolA, I'm wondering the same thing. Where is all of the money going? To the op, the best advice I can give is to write down every penny that you spend. Tracking your spending is the best way to figure out where the money is going. I can't remember if you said that you have done that. Anyway, for me, that really help a lot.

Being at home with my kids has definitely been a challenge. Going from a 2 income house to 1 income isn't easy. But I've learned a lot. Now I'm ready to go back to work, and with the help from many on these boards, I have great tips on how to be debt free and prepare for retirement. Thanks, all!

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[CarolA]

Carol,

This is how I feel with the judging by my decisions ON THIS POST!!!! NOT A GOOD FEELING IS IT????

YES, but I only felt the need to respond ONCE. Not 10 times... I made my point and MOVED ON! The OP knows how I feel. I have read her rebuttal. If we felt moved to continue it would have been as PMs, not as attempt to prove that "I am right and all of you are wrong about me"



I have decided, you are just doing this to bait folks. However, while this sounds really cruel... you are becoming entertaining. I find myself coming back just to read the rebuttals. (Plus some posters have posted some great ideas on things that we tend to forget add up to REAL money!!!)

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

peacefulgirl-

I am glad to see you came back to read the thread. I am sorry you are upset, but I notice that you primarily responded to the people you disagreed with. Please remember to "believe the good and forget the rest". I truly believe the majority of people on here are trying to help you. Even if you disagree with some assessments or opinions, I still hope that you extract all of the great ideas and sentiments that people have shared with you. They have explained what *they* would do in your situation (or your situation as they understand it) Ultimately it is up to you, your decisions and opinions are the only ones that count in the end. What people say on a message board will *not* directly impact your life unless you choose to transform words into actions. If you feel the words do not apply to you, just regard it the same as you would a pop up ad. I wish you the peacefulness that's in your screenname. As far as this thread, take what you can use, make your own decisions and good luck.