Please I need advice!!!

[gabby99girl]

I have a dilemma. My daughter invited one of her friends from school to accompany us on our first trip to Universal Studios. She has not spoken to this "friend" since school has let out (5-26). This morning I received an email from the mom asking if the trip was still planned. My dd now does not want this person to come and feels like their friendship is not as strong as it was. How do I respond to the mom? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I'm sure the friendship will pick back up once school resumes, but my dd really does not want her to come. Please help!!!

 

[burnurcomputer]

I am on the *you invited and now you stick with it* train. The communication goes both ways. Your daughter could have contacted her just as the girl could have contacted your daughter.

 

[disneychic2]

I have a dilemma. My daughter invited one of her friends from school to accompany us on our first trip to Universal Studios. She has not spoken to this "friend" since school has let out (5-26). This morning I received an email from the mom asking if the trip was still planned. My dd now does not want this person to come and feels like their friendship is not as strong as it was. How do I respond to the mom? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I'm sure the friendship will pick back up once school resumes, but my dd really does not want her to come. Please help!!!

I would just tell the Mom that the trip is still on, but you've decided that you won't be able to have DD bring anyone this time after all. No need to get into details. Good luck!

 

[mjkacmom]

How old are the girls? It seems kind of rude to invite someone somewhere, and then change your mind.

 

[pat fan]

You could just tell the mom that you and DH have decided that you want it to be a family only trip. That lets your daughter off the hook completely and is pretty much true. You don't want another child coming because your daughter doesn't, but she doesn't need to know that! Just make sure that you don't bring anyone else instead. That would be un-cool

 

[Kellydelly]

Let the mom know that your plans have changed and she is no longer able to invite a friend. No details, just simple and to the point. I would definately NOT take this girl on the trip unless some reconnection between the two happens before the trip. How old are these girls?

 

[npmommie]

How old are the kids?
Did your dd ask you before she invited her on the vacation?

You could say that your family doesn't get a lot of time to get away and this is a family vacation, and how about we do something local with the girls like a water park, ( or whatever ).

 

[::danielle::]

I am on the *you invited and now you stick with it* train. The communication goes both ways. Your daughter could have contacted her just as the girl could have contacted your daughter.

Unfortunately, I agree.

 

[kwelch10377]

How old is your daughter? If she is old enough then she needs to talk to her friend and then her friend needs to communicate with her mom.

 

[kimmyann]

When your daughter invited her friend did you also at that time communicate with the parent about it? If so, then it would be kind of hard to un-invite the friend. She could have been spending the past month saving money for this trip. Now if you didn't talk to the parent then I would be okay with leaving her behind because then you can always say that since you didn't hear anything you assumed she may not be going. Either way, tough situation. The only places I would ever consider taking friends along would be local for me.

 

[phorsenuf]

When your daughter invited her friend did you also at that time communicate with the parent about it? If so, then it would be kind of hard to un-invite the friend. She could have been spending the past month saving money for this trip. Now if you didn't talk to the parent then I would be okay with leaving her behind because then you can always say that since you didn't hear anything you assumed she may not be going. Either way, tough situation. The only places I would ever consider taking friends along would be local for me.

And it's possible this girl passed up going on other trips/vacation/camp because of the trip your daughter invited her on.
Granted the mother probably should have been in touch with you prior to now, but that too goes both ways. Tough one no doubt.

 

[Jennasis]

I have a dilemma. My daughter invited one of her friends from school to accompany us on our first trip to Universal Studios. She has not spoken to this "friend" since school has let out (5-26). This morning I received an email from the mom asking if the trip was still planned. My dd now does not want this person to come and feels like their friendship is not as strong as it was. How do I respond to the mom? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I'm sure the friendship will pick back up once school resumes, but my dd really does not want her to come. Please help!!!

If you reneg on the invite, I'm not so sure of that.

 

[JaneBanks]

If your daughter is old enough (over the age of 10), she should be responsible enough to tell her friend. She wanted to invite her, now she doesn't. She needs to be the one to tell her.

Otherwise, I would still take the friend. If there is no good reason as to why she shouldn't go, I'm sure the girls will have a lot of fun together.

 

[crashbb]

If your daughter is old enough (over the age of 10), she should be responsible enough to tell her friend. She wanted to invite her, now she doesn't. She needs to be the one to tell her.

Otherwise, I would still take the friend. If there is no good reason as to why she shouldn't go, I'm sure the girls will have a lot of fun together.

I agree with this advice.

 

[NMAmy]

I am on the *you invited and now you stick with it* train. The communication goes both ways. Your daughter could have contacted her just as the girl could have contacted your daughter.

Yep, as long as your daughter invited this girl with your permission and the girl hasn't done something awful to warrant being uninvited, then I'd make my kid stick with her commitments. It's rude to extend an invitation and then not follow through.

 

[jrmasm]

Yep, as long as your daughter invited this girl with your permission and the girl hasn't done something awful to warrant being uninvited, then I'd make my kid stick with her commitments. It's rude to extend an invitation and then not follow through.

I agree.

 

[luvsJack]

I think you should stick with the invitation.

The girls haven't become enemies or anything have they? and you are pretty sure they will be friends again when they get back around each other?

I would make dd suck it up and let the girl go.

If you go back on the invite, it could cause some hard times ahead when word gets around at school, too.

 

[kwelch10377]

I am not so sure I would force your DD to keep the invite. Do you really want to spend all that money and them end up having a crappy time because they don't want to be around each other or because your DD was forced to bring her? It would not only ruin your DD trip to Universal, but chances are it would ruin everyone elses because they are going to be miserable. Not to mention that would be a pretty awkward situation to put everyone in.

 

[anniemae]

Thats a hard one. I do agree with the folks who say she made her bed now she has to lie in it. BUT, I don't think I would want her along if the girls are going to be distant and ambivalent towards each other.

Maybe this girl does not want to go now either but her mother is making her stick to her commitment. Depending on the ages of the girls, I would probably have them work it out. Maybe your dd could call her and ask if she is still interested, chances are she is not.

 

[lecach]

I am not so sure I would force your DD to keep the invite. Do you really want to spend all that money and them end up having a crappy time because they don't want to be around each other or because your DD was forced to bring her? It would not only ruin your DD trip to Universal, but chances are it would ruin everyone elses because they are going to be miserable. Not to mention that would be a pretty awkward situation to put everyone in.

I agree. While you shouldn't normally uninvite someone to something, a trip is a big expensive deal and I wouldn't want to bring along any drama. Now I wouldn't let her invite a different friend though. It's either this friend or no one.