Please help with my 6 month old's sleep problems!

[justhat]

Sorry this is going to be long, but I've been trying to figure this out on my own, and I can't and I'm desparate for help. My daughter, who will be 6 months old on Thursday, has started a pattern about 2 weeks ago of waking up at 4am and not really going back to sleep until around 7am. Now, it's not that she's getting up to play, she barely opens her eyes during this time, but cries and whines on and off for about 3 hours, then finally drifts back off to sleep around 7:30-8 for about 2 hours. When she wakes up after that (about 10am) she's her normal, happy self-smiling, babbling, laughing, etc.

Okay, I know she's probably teeting (hard to tell since she's been chewing her hands and anything else since she was 6 weeks old) so I thought at first maybe this was the problem, so I bought Baby Orajel and tried putting that on her gums. She still got up at 4am, 5am, and 6am. So then I tried infant Tylenol. Same results, up at 4, 5, and 6. [Now when I say she gets up at these times, she's really up from 4 straight on through till after 7, but usually I make it back to bed after close to an hour of getting her back to sleep, only to wake up a few minutes later to start the process over.]

So then I started thinking, maybe she's going to bed too early (she falls asleep around 9:30), so last night I kept her up till 11:45, but like a clock she got up at 4. So while rocking her in the rocking chair I started to think that it can't be teething because it's so predictable and she never seems to have trouble during the day with teething pain. She hasn't been biting anymore than she did since 6 weeks old so I can't say the teeth are any closer. Also, if it's teething pain, wouldn't it be allieviated enough from the Tylenol and Orajel that when I give it to her at 4am that she'd be able to go back to sleep? I know it doesn't work instantly, but at least by 5 for her to sleep for a few hours?

Some background info that might help: At 3 months she was going to bed at 11, waking to eat at 3:30, slept till 8am. After that, we were away from home for about 6 weeks, at my mom's house and on 3 vacations, and she started getting up twice to eat, around 2 and 5, but I attributed this to moving from place to place. When we came home in early July (4.5 months old) she started going to sleep around 9:30pm, still getting up twice to eat, waking up at 8:30. She also refused to be swaddled anymore and would no longer sleep in her crib or cosleeper, only in our bed. 2 weeks ago is when she started going to sleep around 10:30, waking to eat at 1 or 2, then getting up seemingly in discomfort from 4-7. Also, she takes 3-4 naps a day, about 45 minutes each.

I know they say that devlopmental changes can affect sleep patterns and when she switched from getting up once each night to twice coinciding with learning to roll over. She started sitting up in mid-July, creeping backwards the 1st week of August, and 2 days ago learned to pull herself to standing from sitting. I don't know if any of those things are related, but in case someone knows for sure I thought I'd mention them. Also, she's exclusively breastfed, and had rice cereal twice this week, but then I stopped because I didn't know if I should introduce anything new while she's so off schedule. I don't think it's hunger because she doesn't want to nurse when she wakes up at 4 (she's now been eating at 10, 1-2, and 5).

Please, if anyone knows of ANYTHING I can try to get her to sleep, or why she might be getting up everynight, tell me! I end up getting about 4 hours of sleep each night, by the time I finish cleaning, doing laundry, etc. after she goes to bed. Just letting her cry isn't an option as she sleeps in our bed, but even if she's in her own bed, it's in our room anyway as we're currently in a 1 bedroom condo (yes, we need to move). Aside from my husband not being able to deal with her crying for 3 hours (she's not the type who cries herself to sleep, she just cries louder and harder till she's picked up) everynight if I don't take her out of the room (he's working about 80 hours a week as a 3rd year medical student), my neighbors would complain if I let her cry all night too. She's always been very high-need and I'm fine with that, but if I don't start getting more sleep at night I'm going to go crazy!! Help please!

 

[mtemm]

first off, I highly recommend a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by weissbluth. can't recommend it highly enough. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...104-4999635-3391125?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

second, honestly rather than too early, I think she is going to bed far too late. again, I'm a huge believer in weissbluth who in turn is an advocate for early bedtimes. I have a 2.5 year old who has done wonderfully with his methods, and 5 month old twins who are following suit.

good luck!!!!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Growth Spurt. Could she be hungry? DD did this at 6 months. I was breastfeeding and she would wake up and nurse-a lot! I barely got any sleep for a month.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Make sure she doesn't have an ear infection. A trip to the pediatrician is always a good place to start.

 

[shortbun]

Six months isn't so old. DS didn't have regular sleep until
about 10 months and some of his friends didn't until they were
closer to 2 years. You probably need to change your habits and
sleep when she's sleeping so you can be up when she's up.
I agree that keeping a baby up never changes sleep on the other
end. She needs to be comfortable in her bed(family bed here) and learn to put herself back to sleep. Also, she may be overly tired and cranky from it. I'd have the ear thing checked too-just
in case. pain from teething really keeps babies up. It's one of
the few negatives to a family bed-everyone is awake a lot during
teething rather than parents switching. Try an earlier bed time.
What kind of napping is she doing? I did have a little luck shortening the morning nap.

 

[Pembo]

DS was never a good sleeper but getting up at 4 was a regular pattern for awhile. We've seen more sunrises because of this child. We never really cured him of it but he would go back to sleep very quick if we put him in his swing. I know they say no more than 30 mins at a time but he'd sleep soundly for 3 hours in that thing. Good luck!

 

[justhat]

She's not a big napper, usually 3 or 4 naps a day at about 45 minutes each. I thought that maybe she was going to bed too late at first too, but when I tried putting her down earlier, she loudly protested for about an hour, at which point I gave up. I'll try it again though. We'll also be making a trip to the bookstore to pick up that book today. I really don't expect her to sleep through the night since she doesn't seem close to that point and never has. I don't mind getting up at night to feed her either. But this inconsolable waking is driving me crazy cause I don't know what to do for her. She essentially falls asleep on her own for naps and when she goes to bed, we just lay down in the bed and turn on her Pooh Sing-me to sleep soother, and she's asleep within 10 minutes (usually). I really don't even touch her, just lay in the bed with her because she can creep backwards and the cosleeper makes a wall so she can't roll out of our bed, but I'm afraid if she sees me leave she may try to inch her way backward and fall off of the bed. I guess maybe that's why I don't understand this new 4am waking, because I never rock or walk her to sleep, but that's all she wants me to do when she gets up at 4. Thanks for the tips and keep them coming.

 

[LScot]

Phew. I'm tired just reading this! ( sorry 'bout that!)
DD slept through the night at 7 weeks. I'd have been crazy if it went on for a year or two.
I'd try to do something about the 45 min. naps also. At six months DD was doing 2 long naps. But I bet this book will help you a lot. Some kids require more sleep. DD is now 10 and goes to bed at 8:30 (actually reads in bed from 8-8:30) and get herself up at 6:30. That's a lot of sleep!

 

[Pete's Mom]

Welcome to the club, sister. You're a mom now. Resistance is futile so let me save you some time.

1 - You are never going to sleep a good night's sleep again so get used to it. Sorry.

2 - You are never going to be able to sit down and leisurely eat a meal like a normal human being so just remember to take the time to chew so you don't choke.

3 - Laundry is a never ending process. Clothes will go to the washer, the dryer, the basket, get worn, and then back into the washer. I haven't folded any clothes since 1999. Heck, I am not even sure if I remember HOW to fold clothes.

4 - In 14 years you might be able to eat somewhere that doesn't give a toy with the meal.

5 - Get used to throwing your wallet and keys into the diaper bag. You can kiss carrying a purse goodbye for a least 3 years.

6 - For the first year, you will learn to buy spit up colored clothes so that it just blends in.

7 - Makeup will become optional.

8 - Words like "bowel movement and urinate" will disappear from your vocabulary and will be replaced by "stinkie and tinkle".

9 - You will nonchalantly lean over and sniff your child butt to see if they have gone "stinkie". You will be oblivious to non parents who are watching you and wigging out.

10 - After 3 years of cleaning up vomit, spit up, stinkies, and God only knows what else you will find that you have a cast iron stomach. I swear, I could do an autopsy now and it wouldn't faze me.

Just remember that there are rough roads ahead but that this is just a stage that will soon pass. Being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it is also the most rewarding. I continue to learn things from Pete everyday and I cannot imagine my life without him.

Big hug to you, MOM!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

3-4 naps is probably where you need to start. You need to change it to 2 or 1 nap a day.

If you add up her sleep time with naps she is getting 9-10 hours a day, right? That is plenty. This is counting her getting up at 4am.

She needs an adjustment. So if you take 2 naps away you will get almost 2 more hours of her sleeping in the morning which would make her wake up at 6am which is pretty normal for a 6mo.

 

[poohandwendy]

Also, she takes 3-4 naps a day, about 45 minutes each.

Just a thought, when is her last nap? She may be outgrowing the need for so many daytime naps and if you can get her to delay some of her naps and eliminate the last nap, go to bed at the regular time, she may sleep longer. I say this because she seems to be having trouble with the last hours of what should be deep sleep. That suggests to me that she may be gettting too much sleep during the day? Then again, I could totally be wrong...good luck, I hope you can resolve this soon.

 

[poohandwendy]

LOL< MM. You beat me to it...Great minds think alike...

 

[Hillbeans]

Originally posted by Pete's Mom


8 - Words like "bowel movement and urinate" will disappear from your vocabulary and will be replaced by "stinkie and tinkle".

9 - You will nonchalantly lean over and sniff your child butt to see if they have gone "stinkie". You will be oblivious to non parents who are watching you and wigging out.

10 - After 3 years of cleaning up vomit, spit up, stinkies, and God only knows what else you will find that you have a cast iron stomach. I swear, I could do an autopsy now and it wouldn't faze me.


:

LOL...so funny and soooo true! Esp. about the autopsy.

 

[Minnie824]

I agree with mtemm....going to bed too late, and try the Weissbluth Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child....my dd is 4 months now and goes to bed at 6pm..sleeps til 6:30am although does wake up one time to eat, usually 2 or 3am. Now, we haven't gotten to teething yet, so this may change, but try it. Also, is baby maybe hungry? I know it may be starting another bad habit, but if you give her a bottle right away at 4, maybe she'll fall right back asleep and you wont be up from 4-7. Good luck.

 

[mickeyboat]

I remember hearing if your little one is waking up too early, put her to bed eralier at night - not later. I would also try to change her nap schedule to two longer naps per day. Cereal may help too. I have talked to a lot of people who swear that their babies did not sleep through the night until they started cereal. Another thought, is the room dark?

I feel for you. My little ones were terrible sleepers. Now DD4 is the best sleeper in the world and once DD3 gets asleep, she is usually great too.

Good luck to you!

Denae

 

[tonyswife]

I agree with tryng an earlier bedtime, both my kids go to bed around 6:30 or 7. My 2.5 year old sleeps until 7 AM and the baby (5.5 months) sleeps that long too, but he has a feeding around 2 AM. Also agree with working on that nap thing. My DS, the baby, does one hour nap in the AM and one hour nap around 2 PM.

 

[disney4us2002]

Let me preface this with I am not into the new parenting approach. I'm old-fashioned and a believer in sleep training. I have a small family daycare and within 2 wks nearly all of my daycare kids are on the same napping schedule. By 6 mos. my kids (my own three boys as well as dc) are on 2 naps per day. Most of the time, I'd say 9-10:30am and then 1-3. That is give or take 30 minutes. My boys slept thru the night in their own cribs by 4 months but I don't hear that a lot from my daycare parents. Again, I'm not saying anything bad about the family bed practice or that 'wearing your child' thing (the name escapes me right now) but it would not have worked for me. I need my sleep!

Pete's mom - too funny. You did however forget a couple:

1) You will never again eat a hot or even lukewarm meal because you will need to cut, feed, or pick up the thrown food of your child's.

2) You will soon learn where every public bathroom is between your house and the grocery store 2 miles away!

3) While dining out your child will need to use the potty as soon as the food arrives.

4) All boo-boos can be made better with a kiss from mommy.

 

[Ibelieveinfairies]

I don't know if it would work for you, but we used the Ferber method on our children...within two weeks of starting this, they were going to bed w/o even a fuss and would not wake us up in the middle of the night. Both of my children were about 6 mos old when we began this process and I exclusively breastfed them until they were ready for solids. It wasn't always easy to hear them cry, but I have to say that our DDs to this day (they are now 5 and 7) know that when it is bedtime, it is bedtime...no arguments or crying occurs. I have friends that have children of the same age as ours and they are still having nighttime problems.

 

[justhat]

So tonight we will be going to bed earlier. I didn't realize earlier was around 6pm. The earliest I've tried is about 7:30 or 8, which was accompanied by lots of crying. The main reason I haven't tried earlier is that my husband doesn't get home until around 8pm, and he leaves before Madison wakes up so he'd never see her. She's not a big fan of him as it is so i try to encourage them to spend time together. If it means she won't cry for 3 hours every night though, I'll try it. I've never needed a lot of sleep myself, typically about 6 hours, but it's just so exhausting to walk or keep that chair rocking for 3 hours in teh middle of the night.

I worked in a daycare before my daughter was born and our kids were on that schedule too, disney4us2002. I would love it if Madison would sleep at those times, and she sorta does, but she wakes up after 45 minutes, stays up an hour, naps another 45 minutes, up 2 hours, then 45 minutes again.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Originally posted by disney4us2002
(3) While dining out your child will need to use the potty as soon as the food arrives.

How true! I have had to track down our waitress to assure her that we hadn't left and that we would be back so our food wouldn't get thrown away. I swear I used to think Pete of deliberately held "it" until our meal came.