I agree there is no one "Perfect" rule of thumb for everyone. Each families needs and desires differ. So relax and try to have fun with it.
I think you are on the right track. I first made a rough draft of which park on which day. I based those decisions on several factors: What my family likes to do best, which parks were EMH both morning and evening (We are not early risers, so for us we avoided the EMH parks), how much time we felt we would devote to each park, and the nights and times of Wishes, and the Unofficial Guide best and worst days recommendations, etc. I considered it a rough draft and that helped to take some of the pressure off of me. We had Park Hoppers and I factored that into the equation too.
Once I had a rough draft of the parks and days, I reviewed the menus on allearsnet.com for restaurants in those areas. During this process, I discussed my thoughts, and the menus, with my husband and son for their input. Their primary input was to roll their eyes at what they consider my obsession with planning. But I was able to get them to commit to restaurants that appealed to them, and I went from there.
We usually eat between 7 and 8 at home, so those were the times I made our TS dinner ADR's for. We used our CS for lunch and I didn't worry about those at all, I figured we would find CS wherever we happened to be.
Remember, You can change your mind!!!! I actually did cancel one ADR while we were in WDW because we simply didn't feel like keeping it on that day. I also was able to add one, so there is flexibility in the process.
Relax and Enjoy, I love the planning as long as I don't let it make me crazy!