Please help me think of an excuse...

[Dancemom03]

It's 1 pm and I'm still sitting here when I should be cleaning. I just can't get motivated. DSDad is "going out for lunch with the men" for the first time since retiring nearly 15 yrs ago. DM has invited herself over to visit and "help me clean" tomorrow.

We've never been the mother/daughter type. She doesn't do anything without DSD - ever. For the past ten years or so I haven't even been able to speak to her in private on the phone unless she has it on speaker b/c DSD insists he'll "feel left out".

I know she thinks she's helping but what she'll really do is just get under my skin. DH is scheduled for a minor surgery that we hope will finally yield a long awaited diagnosis on Thursday and it's a really tense week for me. The last thing I need is my OCD mother picking my house apart. This is a woman who once called me outside to the raised flowerbed to tell me that somebody could fall and impale themselves on the little tile sundial DD9 made at camp... she called it "deadly" ...and that was on a good day.

I could order a pizza for dinner instead of cooking and stay up all night cleaning so there's nothing for her to do, but I just resent her inviting herself over to presumably help me solely b/c DSD will be going out alone. I'm not above a little white lie just this once... shoot, let's be honest, I'm not even above leaving town for the day... what can I tell her that will dissuade her without stomping on her feelings?

 

[MommaSnowwhite]

Can you suggest that the two of you go our to lunch instead? That would keep her out of your house. You could say that you need to get out of the house to reduce your stress before thursday.

By the way, good luck on thursday.

 

[Dancemom03]

Thanks, MommaSnow.

Unfortunately DM is determined and DM, DSD and I have lunch together all the time - just yesterday in fact..
I need a much better deterrent, I just can't think of any. She's always saying how she wants to come over to lend a hand but has never actually followed thru before b/c she rarely leaves DSD alone. This week is just really bad timing if she really wants to help me instead of stressing us all out even more...

 

[shelbys mommy]

Offer to go out for lunch instead of having her in your home, if she says no then just be honest. Tell her that as of right now you are not up for company due to DH's surgery coming up.

Or you could let her clean your entire house & you take off & spend the day shopping!

 

[diznygirl]

Can you get your house tented for termites?

Maybe have HazMat out for an unexplained powdery substance on the floor?



On a more serious note, you could take the bull by the horns and suggest a project, "Great Mom! Let's clean out the basement!" Something that will focus her on one thing and not the whole house.


God luck!

 

[bookgirl]

Pull out all the good china and silver, serving ware you never use and all the cookware that is in the back of your cabniets and say that the project for the day is cleaning it


That should keep her occupied for at least as long as lunch.

If she needs more time, well there's always shower tiles and scrub brushes.

 

[GothTink]

I'm with bookgirl. Put her butt to work!

 

[minniecarousel]

YUP!

I'd find a "project" for her. Polishing silver.....how about organizing photos? Is there a closet or a junk drawer that could use an organizer?

I'm thinking......if I had someone who insisted on helping, I'd have them go at our entryway closet. It has coats & jackets hanging in it, but the floor has all our wrapping paper, bags, & ribbon. I sure could use someone to get ruthless and throw out old, tangled ribbon, torn gift bags...

Good luck!

 

[marthachick]

You know there is this virus/bug/thing going around....

 

[mom2travel]

I'm with PPs who said to find a project for her

I have a friend who also has an OCD mother who always came over to "help" which included commentary while cleaning. She finally decided that she wasn't going to take the comments personally and that if mom wants to clean, let mom clean - it was less for her to do herself

 

[jama]

You could send her to me...my moms been dead for almost 18 years..and I would absolutely love to borrow yours!

 

[Dancemom03]

I know one day I'm really going to miss her but I'm pretty sure that day isn't going to be tomorrow or Thursday. I just talked to DM who wanted to know what time I was picking her up and discovered that she only plans to be here for two hours while DSD is having lunch with the men - not all day.

I hinted that by the time I picked her up and drove 20 mins back here, then drove her 20 mins home again, there wouldn't be much of anything getting done but of course she assured me that she can work wonders in two hours. Problem is, I know her well. She's germophobic and it takes 15 mins for her to wash her hands yet she's insisting on bringing cleaning chemicals to do my kitchen & bathrooms. That won't be hard b/c they're not dirty but it doesn't help me decompress before spending the next day in hospital waiting rooms. My problem right now is clutter, not dirt, and that's something you almost have to handle yourself unless you just throw everything away.

I love the idea of having her do the coat closet or something. Of course I'm sure ribbon can be deadly too, and heaven only knows when a child might wind it around their neck and strangle themselves. I know it probably seems unbelievable but I swear, this is one woman who can see the potential for bodily harm in seemingly innocent household items. This weekend she had DD9 and they lit a scented candle for a few minutes so when I picked DD up I got a lecture about how dangerous and unpredictable candles can be... specifically how I shouldn't ever light any here lest the house burn down around me.

Right now, I am devising a plan to be called to DD9's school or somewhere that'll delay me picking her up until the clock runs out, then maybe we can just enjoy the time at her place. I guess I could always take a basket of laundry and some socks that need sorting...