Please help create the perfect disney wedding, money is NO OBJECT!

[ItGirl753]

If money were no option I'd have the personal fireworks...

 

[disneyminibride]

I am really heartbroken right now.

I just spoke to my MIL this morning and she basically flipped out about us having a disney wedding. She said it was the most ridiculous thing she ever heard and that grown people wouldn't have a wedding at disney. She even went as far as saying if the wedding was in disney, she won't be attending because she doesn't want her side and family and friends to be embarassed for us.

After I hung up the phone I called Fi at work crying and told him everything that happened, he was pissed!

Now he's going to call her and see if he can convince her that you can have a classy wedding at disney, it doesn't have to be in a city hotel or yacht club.

I can't believe I have to deal with stuff like this already.

I'm so upset right now.

 

[scanne]

OK. Calm down. If your FI is on your side and wants a Disney wedding too, then it WILL happen.

I would call the FT Wedding people and request a video if they still have them. I have a FT Wedding video from 2000 and I'll mail it to you if you can't get one. But they show just how classy and traditional a wedding can be. You can have LOTS of Disney in your wedding or none at all.

DH and I had the choice to have a small wedding at WDW or a big wedding here in NJ. I chose the big wedding and regret it so much! I so wish I had gone with the Disney wedding. DH and I are planning to do a vow renewal, but I want to wait and save our $$$ so we can do a truly magnificent renewal!

I do know how stressful wedding planning can be - just hang in there!

 

[sajetto]

Jenna,


Before I begin I want to say congratulations on your very recent engagement. We are all here to help you and will provide whatever information we have.

First, I want to ask WHO is paying for this wedding? If it is your MIL then you've already run into a problem. While you say money is no object you'll quickly learn that it is if you are not paying for the wedding yourself. Even though a family member may be a multi-millionaire it may not necessarily mean that they are willing to spend their millions on one event. Weddings are fun to plan, but also can be extremely stressful when your family has a hand in it. I never cleared my wedding with anyone. I knew the family wouldn't like my location choice so I decided to have a smaller wedding with my own funds and I told THEM that this is where the wedding is and you can come or not.

*Some information removed per bride's request*

Weddings are beautiful, memorable events that come with a lot of baggage. Before running directly into planning a DFTW the first thing on the list is to announce to all family and friends, find out who is footing the bill, and if it isn't you, selecting a location that suits the budget of the host. I hope that your MIL begins to warm up to this idea and that your fiance will be able to step into this matter.

Right now, the best thing to do is to stay calm. You have plenty of time before having to enter into the stress and drama that weddings can bring. Enjoy the afterglow of just receiving that rock on your finger


Hugs and Pixie Dust to you

 

[Codie]

Definitely get your MIL on to the Disneyweddings site. Also, you can stream some of the past events from stvs video's site. That helped my dh's family realize how classy it could be (not that they were really concerned but they kept kidding me about goofy being the best man--I didn't know they were seriously talking about dh's brother;-)). Also, the disney food channel special shows how incredible dftw's are. PLUS, if money is no object, then your event should/could be even more fabulous and elegant than many of those. Wendy...was it your video that I watched that had the italy isola reception before the AA reception--I thought it looked SOOOO elegant. It was amazing! How many people did you have WEndy...can you fit 200 anywhere for an Illuminations event?

 

[allisonswonderland]

I would say that many of us, including myself have dealt with in laws who do not get this- whole idea of a disney wedding. I love disney world- and I am happiest there- and that is the reason I want to begin my life with my new husband there....Hang in there!!

 

[Laurafoster]

Dont even get me started on my inlaws! I had the same problems - they even went as far as to say they think if we have a disneyw edding we'll get a divorce in the next few years?!

Like others have said the only problem is WHO is paying for the wedding - in my case as it was my parents mostly i could afford to tell DFi parents they can come or not but this is what we are doing.

 

[Lostgirlz]

We originally decided to get married in the world. We actually wanted a fun themed wedding in the park and we had talked to the planners. Was told for the kind of thing we wanted which was VERY different than most they have done you would need to go through a lot of red tape with Disney to get things ok for us inside the park. You will also need to rent out the park for that time meaning they will need to close down the park early for your event and not allow anyone into the park. We wanted to do a themed one including something with a ride. She said just to rent out the park you're looking at 20 thousand and up and that is a bare min estimate. That's just to close the park not including all other costs. We want to do this, but in talking with the planner we were advised it can take some time to get disney to ok this and it can be difficult. We have decided to just get married in Hawaii where we live and make it easier for family and friends to attend. Plus there are MANY wonderfull beaches here you can use that make for some extremely wonderfull pictures, and do a nice and fun Honeymoon at the world this will be our fist time at disneyworld so we are excited. Be cautious when you say money is not object cause a small wedding not including a lot of extravagance can run you 10 thousand and up easily which is why the planner said 20 grand was a very low balled min amount and that was a pray it would be that little, but she said expect it to be more upwards to 40-50 so you see it can start getting expensive depending on what you want. Good luck and best wishes

 

[ead79]

I am really heartbroken right now.

I just spoke to my MIL this morning and she basically flipped out about us having a disney wedding. She said it was the most ridiculous thing she ever heard and that grown people wouldn't have a wedding at disney. She even went as far as saying if the wedding was in disney, she won't be attending because she doesn't want her side and family and friends to be embarassed for us.

After I hung up the phone I called Fi at work crying and told him everything that happened, he was pissed!

Now he's going to call her and see if he can convince her that you can have a classy wedding at disney, it doesn't have to be in a city hotel or yacht club.

I can't believe I have to deal with stuff like this already.

I'm so upset right now.

I'm sorry to hear you're having to deal with such rude behavior. Nobody should be treated like that!

Now I have something to say that may not be what you want to hear. Hopefully your fiance can smooth things over with his mom, but if not, then I think you really need to decide if a Disney wedding is worth it to you.

Basically if your future MIL is convinced that Disney weddings are tacky, then she's very unlikely to change her mind. With her rude attitude, I would be concerned that she would talk badly about the wedding both in front of you and behind your back. If she is intent on having it at a country club or hotel ballroom, then that is going to put your fiance in a very awkward position. It's his mother, so of course he would want her to come to the wedding. But if she has a really nasty attitude, then she could ruin your Disney wedding. You could not invite her, but that would be unfair to your fiance. I guess what I'm saying is that if she insists on being so hurtful to you, then it might be easier on you and your fiance to have a wedding at a local hotel ballroom. I hate that she has put you into this awful position.

Also, as some other brides have mentioned here, if the money comes with big strings attached, then you should truly consider having a smaller wedding that you can pay for so you don't have to take her opinions into account.

 

[hollyberry16]

To be honest I thought Disney Weddings were tacky before I just looked them up online....after I went to disneyworld. I thought they were all people pretending to be cinderella and stupid themes....then I checked out the website...omg...I WANT one. I didn't know about the Pavillion, and all the classyness that is a disney wedding. I won't be able to afford one, not at $10,000 US dollars ... but I would totally do a vow renewal there...

anyway, if she sees some of the weddings there she might change her mind.

 

[Lostgirlz]

Sajetto that's one of the reasons we changed where to hold ours. We wanted to use the MK and one of its attractions, but when I called DFTW to ask details she told me they would have to get the details talk with others then go present it to Disney head people to get the ok. That there would be a lot of red tape and with Trademarks and things Disney is strict on certain things. The one I spoke with had never planned one like I wanted yes I wanted one a bit themed and I know some may think it is tacky but this is a day to remember and enjoy. We were going with something we all thought was perfect for us, but like the other MK bride after she spoke to her boss about what I wanted and then got back in touch with me it was not the scary amount of maybe costing 20-50 thousand to rent the park it was the sheer Hassle they were already turning it into about having to get approval for this and that. I wouldnt be able to even set a date for god knows how long till Disney decided to approve it which that in itself was not very convienent. We have chosen to do our Honeymoon at the world we have never been and wanted our wedding there, but do not want to have to sit and wait for what she said could take a few months to get the ok and a bunch of work to get them to ok it. A honeymoon there is great with us we are very excited about it. I would have LOVED to do my wedding there reguardless if people see it as tacky it's all in the event of the day and if you are thrilled with it then that's a memory you will smile at every day that's what matters is if you and your spouse are happy. I am sorry you are having such a hard time Disneyminibride, I know you want a disney wedding, but you don't want a MIL who dislikes you over it soooo not worth living with that in my opinion. I don't know who is paying for your event as you say money is no object the cost can climb real fast before you even have the first part planned. If anything you may either want to do something in your hometown then honeymoon in WDW, or maybe do your wedding a bit smaller and have it where you want but you guys pay the expense so no one can make the calls on it. All in all it's not worth a wedge between you and his mom or him and his family in the long run.

 

[ExCPKate]

Something else to think about if you are still intent on having disney wedding....what about having the reception at Victoria and Alberts in the Grand Floridian? I do believe it is limited to adults only, however it would be an incredibly classy affair that even your MIL wouldn't be able to disagree with. I hope everything works out like you want it to!

 

[disneyminibride]

Omg, I was having the worst problems trying to get into this website, the page just would load!!!

Somone asked who was paying for the wedding? my parents are, they are paying for everything except the tuxes and rings and rehearsal dinner.


My FI spoke to my mother in law and she just won't budge. She said if we have it there, she's not coming and that's final. My FI wants his mom there really bad so i'm afraid i'm goign to have to change my plans. I cried for hours last night but I also realized it was the last trhing i'm giving in on. If she wants to be a controlling manipulative *****, she will definately meet her match.

I want to drop kick her for throwing a tantrum.

Thanks so much ladies for all the great advice. I wish i didn't have to rush off but I have an app. in a little while. I'll try to jump back on later in the evening.

 

[TinkBride]

Definately keep us updated on this! Just remember, you have many Disney brides on here that can support you and know how important this Disney Wedding is to you.

Just for kicks, since I have been about 10 years old I have always told my parents that if my future husband loves me enough he will let me have a Disney Wedding, cause he will know how much it means to me!! Just to give you a little support in your feelings of not wanting to budge!

Regardless of where you have this wedding..........just remember that the "plans" need to be about the marriage......not the "wedding".

Everything will fall into place and it will be perfect because you are marrying the man you love and would not trade for anything!!

 

[sarhenty]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this but I can't help but think that you are giving up to easily. This is YOUR day and you will only have it once and its YOUR parents paying. If your DFI is ok with it, then just ignore her. There are a lot of people on these boards who have met opposition with family and most come around. When she see's how cooperative everybody is being with you and how HAPPY they are for you, she might change her tune A LITTLE and finally come around. Don't give up so quickly, if she see's your giving in now, who knows how far she'll stick her nose in other things down the line.

 

[TinkBride]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this but I can't help but think that you are giving up to easily. This is YOUR day and you will only have it once and its YOUR parents paying. If your DFI is ok with it, then just ignore her. There are a lot of people on these boards who have met opposition with family and most come around. When she see's how cooperative everybody is being with you and how HAPPY they are for you, she might change her tune A LITTLE and finally come around. Don't give up so quickly, if she see's your giving in now, who knows how far she'll stick her nose in other things down the line.

SO TRUE!!!!!

 

[WickedWench]

I have to agree, although I'm single and have never had to deal with a MIL. She had her wedding day, it's your turn now. I think her threat is an empty one, designed to manipulate you. If she would really miss her son's wedding for something so stupid... then there's something really wrong with this woman. Plus, I dont think she can really speak for the whole side of her family. My uncle and his wife did not go to their son's wedding... we never found out why, but we did, and so did most of their side.

I understand her initial reaction. When I first stumbled upon Disney's weddings & honeymoons site while planning a Disney vacation, I laughed and thought it was a ridiculous idea. I checked out the site a few more times tho, and the idea grew on me. Now I'm hoping to have my own FTW someday.

You should explain to her why it's so important to you, and show her that it's not ridiculous, that thousands marry there every year, etc. She may never love the idea, but if you back down on this, you can bet the rest of the planning will go the same way.

You might try some manipulating of your own... why not suggest an alternative of being married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas? (I actually think it's really cool, but I bet she wouldn't. :>) Or just eloping and not giving her a wedding to interfere in at all? Disney may seem a better option if you give her even less appealing alternatives.

Good Luck.

 

[Moonpie]

Omg, I was having the worst problems trying to get into this website, the page just would load!!!

Somone asked who was paying for the wedding? my parents are, they are paying for everything except the tuxes and rings and rehearsal dinner.


My FI spoke to my mother in law and she just won't budge. She said if we have it there, she's not coming and that's final. My FI wants his mom there really bad so i'm afraid i'm goign to have to change my plans. I cried for hours last night but I also realized it was the last trhing i'm giving in on. If she wants to be a controlling manipulative *****, she will definately meet her match.

I want to drop kick her for throwing a tantrum.

Thanks so much ladies for all the great advice. I wish i didn't have to rush off but I have an app. in a little while. I'll try to jump back on later in the evening.

I'd think it would be more embarrassing for the family if the MIL was not at the wedding. I think you should call her and say that you and your fiance will be paying for the wedding yourselves (even if it's not the biggest budget at least it's your dream wedding location), and seeing as it is YOUR wedding and not hers, I would say, "I understand that you feel strongly about our wedding location choice...however, it is OUR choice to make. We would love to have you there, but of course that is your decision to make. I honestly think that you would break my fiance's heart if you didn't come, and it would just be a shame to not have you witness the beginning of our marriage."
I think that if you don't start to stand up to her now, that she may think she can do this all the time. It is your wedding...your dream wedding, and you can have it where you want it.

That was my 2 cents.

 

[WickedWench]

Good point. She'd embarrass herself more by not attending the wedding. Another reason to think it's really an empty threat meant to manipulate.

Does she have a habit of doing these types of things? Maybe you should ask your DF, or other family members to see if it is a real threat, or just her method of getting her own way.

 

[scrump]

I think that if you don't start to stand up to her now, that she may think she can do this all the time. It is your wedding...your dream wedding, and you can have it where you want it.

I have to agree with this. Be prepared for a lifetime of these ultimatums, if you don't lay down some boundaries. I like the suggestion of showing her examples of a Disney wedding, she may have it in her head that everything will be mickey mouse overload, and that's totally not the case.

Congratulations , I know wedding planning can get stressful sometimes, but everything will work out!