Please help - anxiety/panic attacks

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

Hi - I have written before about how my husband has severe claustrophobia and how it effects his ability to ride on an increasing number of rides. He also gets panic attacks when traveling, and unfortunately he is going to have to fly across the country with the kids this weekend to attend a memorial (I’m flying separately due to scheduling conflicts). For those who suffer from panic attacks, what helps you get through them? He has 2 Xanax left from recent dental work so worse comes to worse be will take them, but he really doesn’t want to be “broken.” We have tried to minimize his triggers as much as possible (always extra leg room/aisle seats or first class if that’s not available, baggy clothing, no night flights, etc) but it just isn’t enough, and every trip he seems to be getting a little worse. He knows he should talk to someone if for no other reason than to have access to the occasional Xanax, but he doesn’t think therapy will help so far he hasn’t gotten around to it.

Thank you.

 

[DL1WDW2]

How old are the “kids” ?
I just worry about giving so much responsibility to the Kids because you can’t control a lot of your surroundings on the airplane .
There is a lot to consider and take responsibility for that can not be foreseen .

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

It's not being 'broken' to take medication to address a medical problem. The brain gets wired to produce fight-or-flight responses when it isn't necessary. It isn't something that people can solve with simple willpower alone. Anxiety is self-reinforcing. He's probably anxious just anticipating the anxiety and panic the plane will cause, and that in turn makes it all the worse. Then when he has a bad time on the plane because of the current anxiety, that will make him all the more anxious about the next time. Yes, he should talk to someone, yes, it can help. But, if anxiety is increasing, and if it's expanding to other areas aside from just the severe claustrophobia, it may be more of a general anxiety disorder, which has been explained to me as a little hard to mitigate with therapy alone ... because once one particular fear or stressor improves, another one will pop up.

I would pursue a psychiatrist visit. The general doctors will prescribe all of the meds, but there are so many options, and some don't work for some people. But that probably won't happen before the upcoming travel. I would definitely use the Xanax. Other than that, I find breathing exercises help me. Also on a plane in particular, I read somewhere that as soon as you sit down, adjust the air flow thing above your seat. Having something that you can control can be a help.

 

[Disneylover99]

Make sure he has an aisle seat. Tell him to stay hydrated and make sure he has access to water he can take small sips of. Sucking on mints or Halls can help too. Definitely make sure he has access to cool air flow as mentioned above.

 

[fla4fun]

Hi - I have written before about how my husband has severe claustrophobia and how it effects his ability to ride on an increasing number of rides. He also gets panic attacks when traveling, and unfortunately he is going to have to fly across the country with the kids this weekend to attend a memorial (I’m flying separately due to scheduling conflicts). For those who suffer from panic attacks, what helps you get through them? He has 2 Xanax left from recent dental work so worse comes to worse be will take them, but he really doesn’t want to be “broken.” We have tried to minimize his triggers as much as possible (always extra leg room/aisle seats or first class if that’s not available, baggy clothing, no night flights, etc) but it just isn’t enough, and every trip he seems to be getting a little worse. He knows he should talk to someone if for no other reason than to have access to the occasional Xanax, but he doesn’t think therapy will help so far he hasn’t gotten around to it.

Thank you.

Claustrophobia can affect people in different ways. For example, my mom couldn’t be anywhere closed in that she couldn’t see a clear exit. So on Disney rides, so long as she could see things like the steps to evacuate attractions, she was okay even if the area was small and/or dark. I remember back when they had the submarines in FL, we got on them for the first time and when they closed the hatch, she jumped up in a panic and they let us off I don’t consider myself to be truly claustrophobic but I have issues if I am in the middle of a crowded theater, so I hang back at attractions like HoP and grab a seat at the end of a row in order to feel comfortable.

It sounds like you are trying to minimize his triggers where you can. Once you know what may trigger him during an attraction, you can start looking for ways to minimize the issue. For example, since you mention extra legroom and aisle seats on the plane, perhaps doing what I do at theater attractions and waiting to select a seat at the end of the row will help. For attractions with visual evacuation routes, perhaps placing him on the side of the vehicle where the route is located would help. No two attractions will have the same solution, and there may be a few he cannot enjoy.

I‘m sorry, I don’t have any insight as far as meds go. I hope you have a great trip!

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

How old are the “kids” ?

10 and 14. They are excellent travelers.

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

Thank you for the perspective about not being broken and how anxiety is something hard wired into his brain. The more he hears that hopefully eventually he can internalize/believe it. I’m going to order him a small hand held fan. Hopefully that will help with air flow. I’ll also make sure to add a water bottle to his packing list as that will help with hydration.

Unfortunately he won’t be able to talk to someone before this coming weekend, but my hope is that he will before our summer vacation at the end of August. We have a few things planned that he may need to opt out of otherwise.

At Disney we kind of have the drill down. Genie+ helps and he has a list of rides he won’t go on. He’s not a HUGE Disney fan like the rest of us are so he has doesn’t get overly grumpy about missing things, but he mentioned today that he used to do Star Tours 8 times in a row with our son because he wanted to see all of the variations, but now that’s a hard no. Fortunately he’s still able to do the shows, but you are right that they may go at some point because I can’t control where he sits. For the summer trip we have tickets to 2 shows in Vegas and I intentionally got him aisle seats there.

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

Thank you for the perspective about not being broken and how anxiety is something hard wired into his brain. The more he hears that hopefully eventually he can internalize/believe it.

It's a hard thing to come to terms with being unable to control thoughts and reactions, and to seek help. I had to practically be dragged to a psychiatrist (well not literally, but a family member found the doctor and set up the appt for me, and insisted I had to go), and once there I got very emotional about not wanting to take medicine for it. The doctor mentioned the hard wired thing, and that helped flip the script in my mind. It wasn't a failure of my willpower, it was part of my brain biology that wasn't working in a helpful way. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is to ask for help. It is one of the best things I've done for myself. Anyway, I hope the upcoming travel is manageable, and that he'll find a way to find some relief from the anxiety in the future.

 

[UnderneathAMagicMoon]

I do take medication for anxiety but I also use supplements and have found them helpful. GABA, l-theanine and magnesium can be helpful for quick relief, and I find inositol helpful for longer term anxiety help (it takes a few weeks to work though and can make anxiety a little worse before it gets better.)

 

[mamabunny]

Ok these are just a couple of things that may - or may not - help. We have a family member who has anxiety, and these things have helped her on many different occasions. I know that claustrophobia and anxiety are not the same, but sometimes we have tools that do more than just 1 thing!

First of all, every member of our family always carries small individually wrapped alcohol swabs (my hubs is a T2 diabetic, so we always have plenty of these around) in case someone needs them. They are particularly effective on helping with nausea, but can also help when someone is feeling anxious; somehow the smell just “grounds” them. (No pun intended here)

Next, we all always have Extra-Strength Tylenol. Tylenol is particularly good at not only relieving pain, but for some people, it can help calm them if they are headed for an anxiety attack. Take 2 with plenty of water, and ideally a lil snack for the tummy.

Last, but not least:
We have a family member who has anxiety, and everyone who travels with her has an app on our phones called "Emergency Chat". The logo for it looks like this:




It's an app that will let you text someone when you are too overwhelmed to speak.

You can customize the opening screen (shown below) to help give the person you are communicating with more information.



You "text" with the other person, by handing the phone back and forth so you don't have to try and talk when you are not comfortable with speech in the moment. It's just another tool to have ready (like knowing that you can use First Aid at the Parks) in case you need it.

 

[livih99]

I've dealt with panic attacks on and off for most of my life. Not claustrophobia related, so there's probably some differences and every person reacts differently and uses different coping mechanisms. I'm assuming your kids are sitting in the same aisle which may help some since he will know the people directly next to him. One thing that helps me is focusing on different senses/sensations, there's a common technique of finding 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. It helps distract your brain from the surrounding triggers because you have to force it to focus on something else. Distractions in general tend to work well for me. Maybe if the airline has tv sets it could help to find a show or movie that requires him to pay attention so his brain wanders less to things that are causing him anxiety. Another option is finding something to help him sleep through the flight if your kids would be okay. I've used things like Benadryl, Nyquil, or Advil PM to help me sleep in situations like this.

For past this flight, I will say medication can truly be life-changing. I was put on an anti-anxiety medication about 3 years ago and haven't had a full-blown panic attack since. There are obviously still times I have anxiety, but it is much less than it used to be and much more manageable. Something else that has also helped is weed. Obviously, this depends on where you live for if it is legal, but it has really helped me.

 

[DLgal]

So, first of all, he needs to get himself to a psychiatrist. Anxiety is something a lot of people deal with successfully without meds. However, once it has crossed into chronic panic disorder that interferes with normal life experiences, it's a pathological medical problem. It needs treatment with medication AND therapy. There are numerous medications that can alleviate these symptoms and improve mental functioning and allow your husband to live a normal, enjoyable life.

But since that's not going to help in the immediate term, here are some suggestions to cope.

1. Audio/Podcasts. If he listens to them already, great. Make sure he has a long Playlist of podcasts to listen to. There are even podcasts for anxiety and calming down. Try the Calm app for some helpful meditations to listen to when feeling overly anxious or panicky. Or go to You Tube and search "relaxing music for anxiety". You can download YouTube videos to listen to offline. I have a relaxing sounds scape/piano music YouTube video downloaded and saved in my library. It's very helpful.

2. Peppermint oil or strong mints like altoids. A good way to overcome panic attacks is a sensory assault on another part of your body. Mints and smelling peppermint works for me. This works by literally tricking your brain into paying attention to that and focusing attention away from the negative thoughts. Other people successfully use the tapping method or the rubber band snapping method. Google these.

3. Play the 5 things game. Look around and name 5 physical attributes of 5 things you see nearby. In an airport, this might look like this: "I see a red suitcase. It's hard. It's shiny. It's small. It has a blue tag on it. I see a Starbucks coffee cup. It has a straw. It has the name John on it. It had ice cubes. It's cold."

This works like the peppermint. It gets your brain to think about something else.

4. Take magnesium supplements or stress gummies. They are calming. There are lots of brands of these in drugstores. I like Olly Stress gummies and Calm Magnesium powder. Even the airport newsstands like Hudson News sell calming supplements.

5. Arrive early enough to the airport to have time so he is not rushing. Don't drink coffee or soda (caffeine will make anxiety much worse). Don't eat a heavy meal before the flight.

 

[DisneyOma]

Hi - I have written before about how my husband has severe claustrophobia and how it effects his ability to ride on an increasing number of rides. He also gets panic attacks when traveling, and unfortunately he is going to have to fly across the country with the kids this weekend to attend a memorial (I’m flying separately due to scheduling conflicts). For those who suffer from panic attacks, what helps you get through them? He has 2 Xanax left from recent dental work so worse comes to worse be will take them, but he really doesn’t want to be “broken.” We have tried to minimize his triggers as much as possible (always extra leg room/aisle seats or first class if that’s not available, baggy clothing, no night flights, etc) but it just isn’t enough, and every trip he seems to be getting a little worse. He knows he should talk to someone if for no other reason than to have access to the occasional Xanax, but he doesn’t think therapy will help so far he hasn’t gotten around to it.

Thank you.

How did it go?

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

Thank you for asking. He did ok at the memorial, but our summer trip SHOULD have been ok based on how we structured it (wide open spaces, he did all of the driving, we weren’t crowded in the hotels, etc) but ended up being a disaster for him. He had almost daily panic attacks, ended up pacing outside most nights, and then would crash in the early morning because he was completely exhausted. We aren’t sure what triggered the first one, but I think that exhaustion compounded the issues. We were genuinely unsure whether or not he’d be able to get on a plane to fly home, even to the moment of actually getting on the flight. Mentally he was shot and it took him months to recover.

The good news, such as it is, is that the episode scared him so much that he has finally decided to get some help. He now has a prescription for as much Xanax as he thinks he will need to get through the next year (before he was hoarding pills from dentist appointments and was scared to take them in case he needed them more later and didn’t have access), and has reached out to a CBT therapist to try to talk to someone. And before anyone worries about addiction risks or anything, he asked the doctor for ~10 pills and the doctor gave him 20 for all of 2024. My guess is that he won’t even use half of them, but at least he knows he has the option. He also decided not to go on one of our two winter Disney trips, and we have drastically changed our summer 2024 vacation plans and are setting it up so that he doesn’t have to decide whether or not he wants to come until the very last minute.

Fortunately he isn’t suffering anymore, and seems to be coping ok in his day to day life. I do worry about what will happen when his mom passes away (she’s extremely sick) but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

 

[DisneyOma]

I'm not in the medical field at all, but has he tried a daily anti-anxiety medication of any kind? He sounds a lot like me - I couldn't get on top of the anxiety at all, and any little thing sent me into panic attacks. I had used lorazepam for my issues, but I didn't want to take it all the time and it wasn't cutting the base anxiety I felt. A trip to the doctor, and I was given a low dose of sertraline. It has made all the difference in the world!

 

[SwanVT2]

Thank you for asking. He did ok at the memorial, but our summer trip SHOULD have been ok based on how we structured it (wide open spaces, he did all of the driving, we weren’t crowded in the hotels, etc) but ended up being a disaster for him. He had almost daily panic attacks, ended up pacing outside most nights, and then would crash in the early morning because he was completely exhausted. We aren’t sure what triggered the first one, but I think that exhaustion compounded the issues. We were genuinely unsure whether or not he’d be able to get on a plane to fly home, even to the moment of actually getting on the flight. Mentally he was shot and it took him months to recover.

The good news, such as it is, is that the episode scared him so much that he has finally decided to get some help. He now has a prescription for as much Xanax as he thinks he will need to get through the next year (before he was hoarding pills from dentist appointments and was scared to take them in case he needed them more later and didn’t have access), and has reached out to a CBT therapist to try to talk to someone. And before anyone worries about addiction risks or anything, he asked the doctor for ~10 pills and the doctor gave him 20 for all of 2024. My guess is that he won’t even use half of them, but at least he knows he has the option. He also decided not to go on one of our two winter Disney trips, and we have drastically changed our summer 2024 vacation plans and are setting it up so that he doesn’t have to decide whether or not he wants to come until the very last minute.

Fortunately he isn’t suffering anymore, and seems to be coping ok in his day to day life. I do worry about what will happen when his mom passes away (she’s extremely sick) but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I found this post because I just cancelled our Disney trip due to panic attacks hitting me the night before. In the past I had used EMDR with my therapist to prepare for trips or have EMDR sessions after arriving in FL to calm down (we fly from VT), but she has retired and it has been a couple of years since a plane/Disney trip. I have been using talk therapy and am on antidepressants and felt like I was good to go-nope! I just found another counselor who treats with EMDR (definitely look into it) and will meet with him tomorrow. I am worried about Xanax because it can be habit forming. How has he done with it? I would love to reschedule trip to April, but DH is worried it is too soon, which makes me sad because DD was all set up with DAS for our trip for her anxiety (she is 12). We lost DVC rental store hotel money for SSR, but it is a wash because I had made extra money scoring AP exams that was basically covering cost of hotel. DH wants to just wait until next February break for FL trip (I am a teacher).

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

I found this post because I just cancelled our Disney trip due to panic attacks hitting me the night before. In the past I had used EMDR with my therapist to prepare for trips or have EMDR sessions after arriving in FL to calm down (we fly from VT), but she has retired and it has been a couple of years since a plane/Disney trip. I have been using talk therapy and am on antidepressants and felt like I was good to go-nope! I just found another counselor who treats with EMDR (definitely look into it) and will meet with him tomorrow. I am worried about Xanax because it can be habit forming. How has he done with it? I would love to reschedule trip to April, but DH is worried it is too soon, which makes me sad because DD was all set up with DAS for our trip for her anxiety (she is 12). We lost DVC rental store hotel money for SSR, but it is a wash because I had made extra money scoring AP exams that was basically covering cost of hotel. DH wants to just wait until next February break for FL trip (I am a teacher).

Hi - DH is very stubborn about not taking medicine, sometimes waiting too long and suffering unnecessarily. So one thing we definitely don’t need to worry about for him is xanax becoming a habit.

He hasn’t been to Disney in a while but he did have to travel for work this past winter. He made a couple of mistakes, which probably compounded whatever issues he was already going to have flying from NY to China. He had to navigate public transit with heavy bags to get to the airport, and that was quite a challenge. He booked a window seat instead of an aisle seat because he wanted to be able to look out the window, but it was dark the entire time and the flight attendants told him to keep the shades closed. The person next to him made his seat into a bed (he was flying business class because there was NO WAY he would have been able to handle that flight in coach) so he felt trapped the entire time. Add in body odor issues from other passengers and strong smells from on-board meals and it was REALLY BAD. He took 3(?) half pills on that flight.

Coming home we changed him from Air China to United, changed his layover city from Beijing to Tokyo, and changed his return airport to Newark from JFK so that I was able to pick him up at the airport instead of him taking public transit. It broke up the trip just enough that with medicine he did alright. But I seriously considered meeting him somewhere in Asia so that he wouldn’t have to fly home by himself.

He does his best to limit flying, but we do have a couple of trips where he will have to get on a plane. Where I can avoid it I have him booked on day flights instead of overnights, even if it meant spending an extra day. I also upgraded his outbound flight to Japan he’s waitlisted for the way back. If it doesn’t come through I’ll give him my seat.

Good luck!

 

[SwanVT2]

Hi - DH is very stubborn about not taking medicine, sometimes waiting too long and suffering unnecessarily. So one thing we definitely don’t need to worry about for him is xanax becoming a habit.

He hasn’t been to Disney in a while but he did have to travel for work this past winter. He made a couple of mistakes, which probably compounded whatever issues he was already going to have flying from NY to China. He had to navigate public transit with heavy bags to get to the airport, and that was quite a challenge. He booked a window seat instead of an aisle seat because he wanted to be able to look out the window, but it was dark the entire time and the flight attendants told him to keep the shades closed. The person next to him made his seat into a bed (he was flying business class because there was NO WAY he would have been able to handle that flight in coach) so he felt trapped the entire time. Add in body odor issues from other passengers and strong smells from on-board meals and it was REALLY BAD. He took 3(?) half pills on that flight.

Coming home we changed him from Air China to United, changed his layover city from Beijing to Tokyo, and changed his return airport to Newark from JFK so that I was able to pick him up at the airport instead of him taking public transit. It broke up the trip just enough that with medicine he did alright. But I seriously considered meeting him somewhere in Asia so that he wouldn’t have to fly home by himself.

He does his best to limit flying, but we do have a couple of trips where he will have to get on a plane. Where I can avoid it I have him booked on day flights instead of overnights, even if it meant spending an extra day. I also upgraded his outbound flight to Japan he’s waitlisted for the way back. If it doesn’t come through I’ll give him my seat.

Good luck!

Yes, I am also too nervous about medication so I imagine I would be like him and extra cautious! I have found CBT not to be helpful, and EMDR very helpful! It was first created for military with PTSD. It actually "rewires' your brain. If he can find a therapist who can treat him with EMDR, it may be a good fit! Despite it saying it is for people with "trauma," trauma can be that high anxious feeling of leaving home/flying that this can be used to work through. It is hard emotionally as you have to visualize and tap into that feeling, but the payback can be pretty fantastic.
https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

Yes, I am also too nervous about medication so I imagine I would be like him and extra cautious! I have found CBT not to be helpful, and EMDR very helpful! It was first created for military with PTSD. It actually "rewires' your brain. If he can find a therapist who can treat him with EMDR, it may be a good fit! Despite it saying it is for people with "trauma," trauma can be that high anxious feeling of leaving home/flying that this can be used to work through. It is hard emotionally as you have to visualize and tap into that feeling, but the payback can be pretty fantastic.
https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/

He tried therapy but didn’t find it helpful at all. I don’t know if he didn’t have the right therapist, or if his triggers can’t really be replicated when not in the actual situation.

Things are somewhat stable now, but if they get bad again I’ll suggest he re-try therapy.

Hopefully he will be able to join us at Disney for a long weekend in December!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

He tried therapy but didn’t find it helpful at all. I don’t know if he didn’t have the right therapist, or if his triggers can’t really be replicated when not in the actual situation.

Things are somewhat stable now, but if they get bad again I’ll suggest he re-try therapy.

Hopefully he will be able to join us at Disney for a long weekend in December!

It can take a few tries to find the right therapist. And an open mind to it helping. I would encourage him to try again so that he can enjoy trips with you guys.