Plans falling apart, what to do?

[v.t.]

I have been working on our June '09 trip for a year now. It will be my family (of 5) and my parents. Two weeks ago my brother, a fireman, found out he got vacation at that time and can go. (I am paying for his family of 3 to go with us, to repay him for his work on our new house.) I have spent spent hours changing our reservations, most our ADR's to get all of us together and to fit his schedule (they needed to come back a day early) and airline flights.
I just got off the phone with DSIL and she wonders how hard it will be to change the plane tickets!!!! They now need to leave a day later because of her neice's graduation! Not only is changing the airfare pricey but I am now paying for a 7 day trip that will only last 5 days.
How should I handle this? I am thrilled they are going, and really don't mind paying, but.... how can I let them know how difficult and expensive all of these changes are going to be?
Thanks

 

[PatricenPete]

I would just be honest with them. Tell them that you are more than happy to pay for their trip, but if they need to keep changing the flights after giving you their dates, then they are going to have to pay for the cancellations. Maybe DSIL can travel down a day later and the rest of the family can go down before her so that you are not having to pay change fees for his entire family.

We had to make changes one year and the change fees and difference in airfare ended up being 1/2 of what we spent on our original tickets!

 

[NU2WDW]

You're being incredibly generous to pay for their trip, but I would hope they'd understand that you can't possibly pay for changes like that. If they've traveled at all, they will realize how tricky and expensive that can be.

Are they familiar with Disney and ADRs and all that kind of thing? It might be a good idea to have a pre-trip "conference" to iron out everyone's expectations so there aren't any more surprises for you to solve!

Have a great trip!

 

[Aliceacc]

You've paid for the original trip.

Any changes they make are their own responsibility.

Call DSIL back right away and let her know.

I'm guessing the niece's graduation will suddenly take a back seat to a free trip to WDW.

 

[HGD24]

You've paid for the original trip.

Any changes they make are their own responsibility.

Call DSIL back right away and let her know.

I'm guessing the niece's graduation will suddenly take a back seat to a free trip to WDW.

I agree. I think it's only fair to ask that they pay for changes since they can really add up quickly and can sometimes be more costly than an original plane ticket. Besides, if you pay for this round of changes, what's to stop them from making more changes and expecting you to keep paying? Good luck.

 

[M5ward]

You are being more than generous - not only financially but with the time committment that goes into planning a trip to the World. I would give your DSiL whatever infor she needs to change flights, and I wouldn't offer to pay for it. Like a PP said, fees for lots of little changes add up. In all honesty, if this had cropped up in my family, my niece's family would have said GO To WDW!
Whatever happens - you have a Magical time!

 

[8disneyfans]

I agree with pp I think it completely fair and reasonable to explain that you have already booked the flights and if they need to change them that they will have to pay the difference. It's not like you booked them without their knowledge and surprised them with them.

 

[v.t.]

Thank you for all your advice. My DSIL just happened to call this evening to ask a question about our resort. While we were talking I asked her to go online and check on the flights since the ticket change was going to be higher than I thought. I also told her if they wanted certain dining reservations, etc. I will need to know soon. I have yet to hear back from her. We will see how it goes.
Thanks for all the support. Everyone on the boards have been great!

 

[LoveMyBoys]

I just wanted to mention that depending on how often your SIL travels, she might not even be aware with how expensive changing flights can be, and since you have handled everything so far (which is extremely generous of you) she might not have given it much thought. I think you need to be honest with her, and you telling her to go look at the flights is a step in the right direction. Good Luck.

 

[EthansMom]

Going with family can be difficult. I agree with those folks who recommend that DB and SIL pay for the airline change.

One hint: It's VERY difficult to tour the parks as a largish group. My advice is to book dinner for everyone together, tour the parks more or less on your own, and meet up for dinners and a few bigger things. Use cell phones to arrange meeting up. DO NOT wait for anyone. (Trust me, I once had a WDW trip with inlaws where I figured out afterwards that we had spent over 8 hours waiting for other people!)

 

[HGD24]

One hint: It's VERY difficult to tour the parks as a largish group. My advice is to book dinner for everyone together, tour the parks more or less on your own, and meet up for dinners and a few bigger things. Use cell phones to arrange meeting up. DO NOT wait for anyone. (Trust me, I once had a WDW trip with inlaws where I figured out afterwards that we had spent over 8 hours waiting for other people!)

We had the opposite problem. We went with 4 other adults in DH's family and they kept waiting for us when we had to feed DD or when we just wanted to relax and let DD nap in a quiet spot. We kept telling the others to go on rides or see attractions, but it was like pulling teeth to get them to go on their own, even though they said before the trip that they would go off on their own throughout the day. I felt like them waiting on or with us was keeping them from their vacation and it made me feel bad the entire week.

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[fireflymedic]

...how can I let them know how difficult and expensive all of these changes are going to be?
Thanks

send me there email address and I will send thim a link to this thread

 

[v.t.]

send me there email address and I will send thim a link to this thread

Too funny! Thanks for the laugh.

 

[rbork]

After original booking, I'd send them the plane ticket or e ticket and the ressie confirmation # for Disney. After that it's up to them as to what they do. Basically-see ya in disney attitude. If they want to do ADR's etc w/ you. Let them plan some. The more involvement they have the happier and perhaps more appreciative they'll be. Be prepared if they don't want to do everything with you. You have given them payment of a "disney vacation and plane tickets". It's a gift, so what they do with it is up to them.
Did they not want a cash payment for the work on the house? I've done this before.... BIL didn't want payment for some work so we bought him an expensive tool. Disney vacation + tix... heck I'll come and work for you!

 

[Captain_Hook]

Just a thought....

Is DSIL sure she is even going to be able to go to the graduation? I don't know about where you live, but around here kids usually only get a certain # of tickets for graduation (2-4). She may not realize that...

 

[timzagain]

Going with family can be difficult. I agree with those folks who recommend that DB and SIL pay for the airline change.

One hint: It's VERY difficult to tour the parks as a largish group. My advice is to book dinner for everyone together, tour the parks more or less on your own, and meet up for dinners and a few bigger things. Use cell phones to arrange meeting up. DO NOT wait for anyone. (Trust me, I once had a WDW trip with inlaws where I figured out afterwards that we had spent over 8 hours waiting for other people!)

We visited Disney as a large group last year - party of 11. It was not easy, and I can't say it was really fun a lot of the time. I'd think long and hard before I do a Disney trip like that again!

 

[v.t.]

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions. I think you all are correct on the how hard it will be to stay together as a group, I know it is going to be hard with all the different elements involved. So I only made ADR's for all ten of us at Sci-Fi, Biergarten and HDDR (for Dad's bday). My DS's and I are making our plans on touringplans.com. We are going to print them out and let DGPs and DB know this is what we are doing for the day. We are going to invite them along, but if they want to do something different they are welcome to. What do you think?

 

[HGD24]

Friends of ours went to WDW with a group of about 15 parents & kids. The one thing I would suggest is a buddy system and headcount system between rides. Our friends said that the kids (and some of the parents too!) were running from one ride to another and more than once, they thought they had lost someone. I would pair a child with an adult and do headcounts before leaving one ride and when arriving at the next.

 

[DisneyMaMato8]

We had several family members (14) this past Christmas share a vacation at Disney World . Our gift to our grown children and their families. The one thing I stressed to my daughters is this is also your family's vacation. Spend time with your individual family. It is a great time to bond while everyone is happy (well minus a few meltdowns). We all set down before the vacation and planned our ADRs. We were there for 15 days, but only chose for all of us to eat together 10 days. On the other four days, one dinner my husband and I spent with each family and then one by ourselves and one with just the grandchildren. This way there was some one on one time with each family and the grandchildren. We also babysat one night so each couple could enjoy a quite meal. It worked out great. I have a daughter who's family is an early riser and who speed is always in overdrive, one daugher (the single one) who would sleep till noon, and the other daughter who is an late riser and likes to stay up late but moves in slow motion. Everyone did there own activities and rides, of course some times together. My husband and I divided some our time up with each family. Much to my suprise it was a fantastic relaxing vacation.