Planning for everyone, but no one cares

[HLAuburn]

I'm in the process of planning a trip in January for me, DH, and DD. My mom and dad will be joining us for a few days at the beginning on the trip as well. So I'm planning for everyone, but I'm the only one who seems to care! Everytime I mention Disney to my mom, it's like "ohhh not that again, it's XX months away". Even when I ask major details like how many nights, how many days of tickets they want etc, it's like a pain in the butt to them...kinda like "whatever". I haven't even "burdened" them with the fun dtails like where to eat, what to see etc!
And DH is about as bad...when ever I mention anything about the trip, he just wants to know the cheapest possible way to do anything. We booked at WL, and all he cares about is how much he could save staying at All Stars!

OK, so I know I'm obsessive about planning, but I can't plan a trip for 5 people with no input! Or maybe I can! Maybe I should just do what I want to do, and they can come along for the fun ride!

Anyone else deal with family who's not quite as obsessive about Disney planning as they are?

 

[disneymama73]

I feel so bad that no one is as interested in the trip as you.

If no one cares, just go ahead with your planning! Make the ADR's you want, get the tickets you want, and if anyone gives you a hard time with your decisions once you're there, remind them of their lack of cooperation with the planning.

 

[disneymom727]

OK, so I know I'm obsessive about planning, but I can't plan a trip for 5 people with no input! Or maybe I can! Maybe I should just do what I want to do, and they can come along for the fun ride!
[/QUOTE

This would seem like the best advice. However, if your family is like mine that is easier said than done. We went earlier this year with my mother and sister. It was a nightmare. I had planned and was so excited about it. They really gave absolutely no input until we go there. Then they sulked the whole time because we were not doing things how they wanted. Nevermind the fact that they live an hour and a half from WDW and can go any time (ok I guess I am still a little bitter). It turned out to be a miserable trip. So now we are planning a week long trip WITHOUT anyone but DS, DH and myself. My husband is not as obsessive about all this either but he does nod and smile when I tell him about everything I have been reading on these boards. He also thanks me for working so hard to plan a great trip. He would rather it were cheaper too though

Anyway, I think I would just go ahead and plan according to what you would like to do but maybe have a little flexibility in mind so that you are not as discouraged as I was in my situation. Good luck and I hope your trip is fun!!

 

[kimwim8]

Oh boy, do I feel your pain!

I did the same thing (for 10 people) last October. DH was good about it, he loves that I do all the leg work & then tell him my thoughts, or give him choices. But no one else wanted to hear it.

I decided to print up options. Like ticket options, I came up with the different choices & prices & then said we'd be purchasing them when we check in, so be ready with your own decisions for your individual groups.

We are DVC, so we gave them a couple rooming options as far as staying all together or seperate, but that decision wasn't too involved for them.

But as far as ADR's - we knew we wanted to a character meal (since 5 of the 10 were kids!) so I came up with a few options, printed them out, including prices & menus from Allears & told them I needed a decision by a certain date & then if I didn't hear from them - I'd go with the majority.

Once the park hours came out, I came up with the plan that DH & I liked, and printed it out, gave it to everyone. And basically said - this is what we're doing....we'd love if you joined us, but you are free to do whatever, wherever you want.

It was still stressful, but we made it through without anyone killing anyone .

Although...I don't know that I'll do that ever again! Maybe in smaller doses!!!

All I can say is - DON'T let them bring you down, or spoil your magic! You plan & read & DIS as much as you want & stay excited!!

 

[mommaU4]

Don't let anyone else's lack of enthusiasm get you down. My DH likes Disney but isn't a nut like I am. For our upcoming trip I invited along my in-laws! Why oh why did I ever do that?!!! They are not Disney people but they live in CA and don't get to see the grandkids often so I thought this would be fun. I must have been high at the time. I love them but they just don't get it.

For example when I told them how we could get into the MVMCP at 4 instead of 7 my MiL wanted to know why we had to go in so early when we were staying until midnight. Why? Why? Because doesn't she realize I plan to be there every minute that I possibly can? And I plan to resort hop to see the X-mas decorations and I know they are not really into that. Ugh. They haven't booked their plane tix yet, so maybe they'll decide not to go. I know that sounds mean but I just want to have a great time since we probably won't be going back for awhile.

I guess I had some venting of my own to do... But as far as your case I would plan to do the things YOU want and no one can complain since they refused to have any input. Some people just can't plan that far ahead so I'm sure as it gets closer they'll get more excited. In the mean time you have all of us to get excited for you, so keep posting your plans and we'll cheer you on!

 

[ryanmilla]

I know exactly how you feel. I am planning a trip with some friends for Feb. I keep asking them what they want to do and their response is we trust you and know you will plan a good trip. They know my DW and I are Disney-Freaks (it's not hard to tell), so they think we will choose the best things to do. But we have been many times and this will be their first time. So, I don't want them to miss some of the classic WDW attractions.

We are getting a new dinning room table this week, so I am using that as an excuse to have them over to dinner to talk about our WDW trip. My DW laughs, b/c it seems like I'm preparing this entire presentation on WDW options for our trip, from dining, to parks and activities. She keeps asking me when I'm pulling out the PowerPoint slides. Hey, I just want them to have a good first trip to WDW. First impressions, you know.....

So my advice is really to get everyone together for one night (if that is possible) and demand some input. Just say, it is one night, that's all you ask. After that you will do the rest of the planning and they won't have to hear from you. If they then complain once you are there, you can say, "I gave you a chance, but....."

 

[Martha7]

It gives you an idea of what being a travel agent must be like! The thing that would concern me is the financial aspect. I'd be afraid to plan things and then have the family tell me that it was too expensive! (I'm picturing table service dinners, fireworks cruises, etc.) I've never had the guts to plan an extended family trip to WDW! I like the suggestion of printing out options, menus, prices and so forth ahead of time. That way, they can't ruin the trip later by claiming that they weren't consulted!

 

[tinkernelllec]

I feel your pain!! I too am the only planner. We are going this time with friends and no one seems to care. I have been making tshirts (thanks to the DDA's) and have been planning days. My DH will just go with my ideas, but our friends seem to think I am nuts. I will not let anyone ruin my magic. My only consilation is that my DS's are excited and can't wait to go.

 

[JELBoggio]

Just to let you know that you have company...

I am planning a trip in May with my DH, DD (6) and DS (4), plus my parents. I haven't been to WDW since 1987! My DH and parents are letting me do all the planning. I don't mind too much, but it is still nice to have some input!

The only thing planned so far is our accomodations, tickets, and the dining plan. I also booked the Hoop-Dee-Doo Review for our first night. I narrowed the choices down to 3 resorts and had my DH help pick out where we stayed since I didn't want to hear any complaints! My parents have pretty much declared that they are "along for the ride."

This trip is completely overwhelming to plan! I am so greatful for all the wonderful advice and suggestions from this board. I'd be lost without all of you!

 

[SandrainNC]

I kind of know what you're going through. No one is quite as enthusiastic as I am when we are planning our trips. Last November one of my sisters and her family came with us and in January DH's sister is going to come with us. I ask for input and sometimes I get it and sometimes I don't. If I don't get any, I decide things for myself. I figure out an itinerary and e-mail it to them and if there is no reply, I just keep on planning. It worked out well last November for us. It was a great trip because everybody listened to me. . I think this trip will be the same way. I leave plenty of room in the schedules for being spontaneous so it hasn't been a problem.

Good luck and I hope your trip works out ok. It is hard when people don't cooperate.

Sandra

 

[Ilovestitch]

If I was you, I would plan the trip out for my family and then write down an itenirary/where you are staying/flight numbers/what tickets you are getting/dining plans on a piece of paper and hand it to your parents.

Say "These are our plans, you are welcome to come along. Let me know if you have any questions about planning" and leave it at that. If they really want to go, they will make plans. They are adults, so just let them plan their part of the trip and that way you won't have to be stressed about it.

 

[The Sweetness]

My DH is much the same. All he wants to know is that he can ride his favies, sometimes 2x or an extra wait for front car etc, and how little we can get away with spending on a room. I agree with him there. If it has a clean toilet shower, bed and sink; and a door that locks w/ someplace to park, its fine. I stayed onsite once when ASMO was opening, and we were the first guests in one of the Dalmation rooms, which was nice to know, but the room didnt impress me. However, I think this time will be another value resort trip, for 7 days and 8 nights *yippeee* but not before June 07

Anyway, I love being the planner, as I like to be in controll of things, and its nice to have DD & DH looking to me to lead the way

 

[ainmama2001]

I feel your pain. Just returned home from an 8 day trip with my dh, dd, MIL, my dh's grandma, my mom and my dad. Then for a few days my BIL and SIL came. We rented points and stayed at OKW in a two bedroom (BIL and SIL got a studio for themselves and my parents preferred the pull out because my dad is claustrophobic). I had a BINDER with SHEET PROTECTORS with daily itineraries. I couldn't get my in laws nailed down for any type of dates so I just made the ADR's and if they wanted to go, then fine. I gave up after a while and my dh, dd and I did what we planned and if everyone else wanted to come along, then yippee for them. I'm STILL being made fun of (I bought the 2006 UG before I ever left Florida to come home), but I don't care. Planning for me is part of the fun of going and I LOVE doing the research. It's more for me than for them.

 

[NMAmy]

My family mocks me incessantly for my obsessing during the trip planning time period. HOWEVER, once we get there, they're tickled to pieces that everything is taken care of. DD was particularly impressed at Christmas last year when other people were being turned away from restaurants but since Mom had insisted on making PS's, we got right in every time.

They don't mock me so much anymore. Well, not about that anyway. I say make your plans and if they don't want to go along with it--well, let them carry on on their own.

I hope you have a great trip!

 

[WillCAD]

If I was you, I would plan the trip out for my family and then write down an itenirary/where you are staying/flight numbers/what tickets you are getting/dining plans on a piece of paper and hand it to your parents.

Say "These are our plans, you are welcome to come along. Let me know if you have any questions about planning" and leave it at that. If they really want to go, they will make plans. They are adults, so just let them plan their part of the trip and that way you won't have to be stressed about it.

I agree, just make an itinerary and pass it out to everybody involved.

Nobody ever wants to make a decision until somebody else makes one that they don't like - so make them, and that will force everybody else to choose whether they agree with you or not. Tell them that the deadline for comments is the 90-day mark.

Once the 90 day mark hits, make your ADRs.

Then, let everybody know, in no uncertain terms, that your plans are now set in stone, and they have missed any and all opportunities for comment, corrections, additions, subtractions, multiplications or divisions. Of course, we all know that is not always the case, especially for a January trip when WDW is deserted, but it makes for a good, hard and fast deadline.

MISSING a deadline motivates people to do something far more than being warned about the deadline APPROACHING. After being told that they waited too long, some will look at your itinerary for the first time and whine and complain about things they want to change - viola! You then have your input.

Anybody who says nothing till you get to WDW, then starts whining and complaining, can simply be told that they remained silent during the whole planning period, so they can remain silent during the trip, too.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Another one here feeling your pain. I use the DIS boards as a release. MY parents are going with us as well..and they didn't want to hear much of it at all until recently * now that we are alot closer* They are big procrastinators though..so I think they just don't want to hear about it until it is happening or has happened. DH listens..but he dosen't get it. So, me and my dd have a fun time planning and making memories together.

 

[vfb2girls]

We quit going to Disney for 10 years because of a horrible trip to Disney with 10 members of my family. Now don't get me wrong I love my family but it was such a nightmare trying to please everyone when no one wanted to do the same things or see the same things. My husband who had never been to Disney had such a horrible time and the two of us fought the whole two weeks we were in Florida we didn't return to Florida for 10 years. And when we did return it was only myself and husband. We will not travel with anyone else...it is just the two of us. While I do all the planning for the trip my husband is excited about going he just doesn't want to get in the planning stage. I just let him know when we are going so he can take the time off. Now I know that in a couple of years we will try to take another family trip but this time it will be with our adult children and our grandchildren and we have already talked about where we are staying and how since my husband and myself will have had our time alone to explore Disney we will devote this trip to our children and grandchildren. The one thing we will not do is share a hotel room with anyone else except us...we need our space.

 

[Lucky4me]

I did the same as you last year. Planned everything for 6 extended family members. No one wanted to know anything ahead of time. Everyone complained incessantly. The only thank you I got was for not having to stand in long lines like they did Easter vacation of 88, the only other time they were in WDW which they've complained about for 10 years.
They complained about which park to go to, the crowds, their sore feet, the food, the weather, you name it, they complained about it. This year it's just me and two close friends who I know will go with the flow and have a good time.
I will never go to Disney with any family besides my immediate.

 

[jennymouse]

The first time I took my 80yo father, he was playing the part of Grumpy very well and wouldn't give me any input what so ever....except for a grunt her or there. One thing I really thought he'd enjoy was the Hoop Dee Doo Revue so I asked him if he'd like to go. He didn't ask anything about it or give it a second thought but blurted out, NO. I didn't care, I'd already seen the show. While we were down there he started getting into the trip and enjoying himself. He saw the ad for HDD on one of the WDW channels and asked about it. I told him that I'd asked him before we went if he wanted to go and he said no so I didn't book it.lol Things have changed since then tho, he was all into the planning of the next trip!

I agree with everyone else, if you're not getting any cooperation at all, just plan for your own family and then give them a copy of the itinerary.

 

[8 Ears]

Have not read the whole thread but let me assure you that they will be mighty thankful for all the planning you did once there! DH thought I was nuts with all that I did. Once there and we saw family after family saying "what should we do next, what are we doing now...??? He thanked me.