Planning a wedding

[lovemygoofy]

So he says yes he does want to marry me and he is totally on board with it all... I mean I can talk to him about it now without him getting upset that I am talking about it.... I am nit sure why I don't have a ring, he could be saving money, not found "the one" yet, or he has it and waiting for the right time to give it to me....so does this mean I am engaged fiance/fiance?

I mean this in the nicest way possible. You have to let go of this title thing or be prepared to defend yourself against others who don't agree with you. Just do what is the best for you and your boyfriend. If you and he are actively making wedding arrangements with dates and planning, then most would consider that engaged. Others would say that you aren't engaged if you don't have a ring on your finger.

Just be happy that you are starting a new phase in your life and enjoy the wedding process with your sweets. Don't let people's opinions on temporary titles sway you one way or the other. Have fun with the wedding fru fru. I hated every minute of it lol. I was the one that wanted to elope but we did the church wedding instead. Great pictures but still would have rather eloped lol.

 

[WriteDisney]

I mean this in the nicest way possible. You have to let go of this title thing or be prepared to defend yourself against others who don't agree with you. Just do what is the best for you and your boyfriend. If you and he are actively making wedding arrangements with dates and planning, then most would consider that engaged. Others would say that you aren't engaged if you don't have a ring on your finger.

Just be happy that you are starting a new phase in your life and enjoy the wedding process with your sweets. Don't let people's opinions on temporary titles sway you one way or the other. Have fun with the wedding fru fru. I hated every minute of it lol. I was the one that wanted to elope but we did the church wedding instead. Great pictures but still would have rather eloped lol.

This is good advice : Theres never going to be a time when everyone agrees with you or your decisions (especially with this), you just have to do whats best for you guys and try not to hurt anyone in the process. I'm calling him DBF until I get the ring but then again he wants to "surprise" me with a proposal. It works for us, but every couple is different and theres nothing wrong with that :

 

[NeverlandClub23]

I'm not engaged but have been planning our wedding for the past month or so. He's one of those people that would show up to WDW during free dining without any ADR's and walk into Le Cellier and expect a table . He just assumes when he proposes to me, we'll get married a few months later and everything will be great. What he doesn't see, or think about, is that both of our HUGE families (both of my parents have 8 brothers and sisters; his too) live 5 states away from each other, we'd be paying for everything ourselves, or the enormous amount of stress and anxiety I would have in budgeting and planning a wedding in another state in just a few months. He doesn't know to the extent I've been planning but we talk about the basics every once in awhile like what time of day of a wedding we'd prefer, what month, etc. I don't want to know if or when he's proposing (as being engaged before, to someone else, and picking out the ring myself and knowing it was coming wasn't as fun and exciting as the spontaneity of being proposed to should be IMHO) but I already have anxiety issues and this way at least I have a basic plan in place in case it does happen

Our situation is different than most though as I would like to get married as fast as possible (and not just because we love each other ). We've been long distance for two years and neither of us believe in living with someone before marriage (been there, done that). So a long engagement with planning after already two years is not for us!

Oh, and I've always thought about my wedding growing up. Just that the $25-35,000 wedding in my dreams doesn't match up to the $4-5,000 budget

 

[mtemm]

I think you are more "engaged" if you are actively planning a wedding/have decided to get married/set a date, etc, with no ring, than someone who has a ring but has no plans to actually get married.

but honestly in the end neither is my business. those with a ring/no plans to marry may feel engaged, while those planning may not feel engaged w/o a ring.

my mom never had an engagement ring. my ring came about a month after dh and I decided to get engaged. I consider that I got engaged the day dh and I decided to get married....we picked the date and had the reception site booked by the following week. I didn't need a ring, although I do love mine, and do love that my husband got down on one knee and said all the beautiful things to me that he did a few weeks later. but I still consider our engagement to start on that rainy monday morning in his moms kitchen.

 

[Scurvy]

I think you are more "engaged" if you are actively planning a wedding/have decided to get married/set a date, etc, with no ring, than someone who has a ring but has no plans to actually get married.

This is my opinion as well.

Personally, I think it's weird to start planning your wedding when you (general "you", not the OP) and your boyfriend haven't agreed that you are going to get married, but I know people who are doing that. I also know people who are planning their weddings and when they meet the right guy then they'll plug in the groom's name and pretty much be done. (I find that bizarre!) I also know "engaged" people who have a ring and proposal but no plans to actually marry any time soon (if ever). In my mind they aren't really engaged, but it doesn't matter since it's not my life and not my decision to make.

I don't see anything at all strange about your situation. Of course, I wouldn't be putting down deposits or setting a date before you are "officially engaged" (whether or not there's a ring involved) but that's just me. You should do whatever you are comfortable with.

 

[PaddingtonBear]

I started planning before the ring was on my finger. We'd been talking about things and knew when we were hoping to get married. I'd started calling places and getting pricing, dates that were open, etc.

You can be engaged without a ring.

 

[Monte Cristo]

Ummmm, congratulations?

 

[Disneylover79]

Thank you all for your opinions.... DBF has said that he does want to marry me, and he has told me to start planning, but I do no have a ring... but we are both in love and wanting to spend the rest of our lives with each other..