Playgrounds. Turn the kids loose and let the adults sit and chat. In winter you can go to an indoor play facility, or an ice rink is also a good choice.
We don't do meals with DH' family. DH has a few family members who now adhere to really unusual diets and are very superior about their food choices; sharing a meal with them is always a very miserable experience.
We also don't do meals at WDW, when meeting local family. They always want to, but it takes forever and the kids get antsy, so restaurant gatherings are out. We have them come to our resort and sit out by the pool or playground to visit.