phrases your teachers would say

[Spinneret]

one would say good dog

 

[tvguy]

He would call his students by their last name with "klutz" in front of it.
"Klutz Smith"
"Klutz Disney"

But it was the 1960's when teacher's didn't have to worry about kids turning them in for verbal abuse.

 

[TCRAIG]

This is one of my favorites - ‘Dogs go mad, People get angry’. Since then, I avoid saying I’m ‘mad’ and use angry instead.
Also in college, I admit I heard ‘Who the he!! are you’? when I showed up for final exams after never coming to class all year…

 

[MrsPete]

Also from back in the day when no student would dare go home and repeat anything bad the teacher'd said to them -- because parents were inclined to believe their children WERE capable of doing wrong:

- You've got Diarrhea of the Mouth and Constipation of the Brain.
- (When a student was sitting there with nothing on his paper) Oh, I see you're drawing Moses crossing the Red Sea. The Israelites have already crossed over, the Egyptians haven't arrived yet, and the Red Sea's drawn back.

 

[Where'sPiglet?]

Sit down! You’re going to wear out your sneakers!

You’re not Mary Poppins - no sliding on the bannister! (Besides, she slides up.)

The tables aren’t icebergs; they shouldn’t be drifting so much!

 

[hertamaniac]

Don't get your knickers caught in a twist.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Also from back in the day when no student would dare go home and repeat anything bad the teacher'd said to them -- because parents were inclined to believe their children WERE capable of doing wrong:

- You've got Diarrhea of the Mouth and Constipation of the Brain.
- (When a student was sitting there with nothing on his paper) Oh, I see you're drawing Moses crossing the Red Sea. The Israelites have already crossed over, the Egyptians haven't arrived yet, and the Red Sea's drawn back.

I had a teacher in high school who lobbed erasers at sleeping students during our contemporary politics class.

I also had an engineering professor who repeatedly would mutter "just do whatever winds your clock" when teaching us how to solve certain equations.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I still remember my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Quander. When she got angry or just wanted to make a point, she'd say (very loudly) "WELL....I'm Sorry." My husband also remembers her. Honestly, she was a bit scary. But this was also the teacher that spent most of her class time teaching chess instead of lessons. Most of the kids in her class went to summer school because of it. Not my husband, the one and only time my MIL said she went to a school was to complain. She told the school that if Mrs. Quander spent her time teaching instead of playing chess, her son wouldn't have to go to summer school.

 

[Disneychick75]

On the first day of classes, our 7th grade History teacher said, "The school board has forbidden us from slapping a student however they said nothing about us throwing a dictionary at you." Ended up loving her but she scared the bejeezus out of me that fist day.

 

[DisneyOma]

one would say good dog

In context, that would be funny! You know the Gary Goldberg shows ended with "Sit Ubu Sit, Good Dog", right? So if a teacher had to repeatedly say to a student "Sit Johnny, sit" when the kid finally sat down, "Good Dog" would be the following thing in my head

If you could hear some of the offensive things kids say to teachers these days, it's a wonder the teachers aren't telling the kids to shut the bleep up or get the bleep out!

 

[indimom]

Elementary Art Teacher: His response whenever we'd show him something we were working on... "It's approaching adequate."
For the record, we all liked him. Even the class artists were told the same thing.

 

[Rogue1677x]

I had the same math teacher in 8th grade that my sister had the year before. When she was in his class he actually made her cry with something he said. On my first day he asked if I was her sister and I let him know I was. He told me how he made her cry and maybe will do the same to me. My response was not likely but I'd probably make him cry.

 

[BrianL]

I had a teacher in high school who lobbed erasers at sleeping students during our contemporary politics class.

I also had an engineering professor who repeatedly would mutter "just do whatever winds your clock" when teaching us how to solve certain equations.

Man, I had a HS biology teacher who would dip a cotton ball in amonia and place it right under the nose of a sleeping student. If that didn't work, and I swear this is true and I witnessed it one time, he took a single firecracker and placed it under the sleeper's desk! There was no need for a level three escalation. There is almost no way that would fly today. He was such a cool teacher. He demanded excellence, but also was understanding with problematic students (he worked closely with the principle on discipline). Sometimes he would magically appear in the classroom like Batman, I believe by crawling thorugh the drop ceiling, though I never actually saw him do that - he'd just be there. He would go to other teacher's classrooms that way too. He could also cure hiccups by "throwing them out the window." I really don't know how he did it. Sadly, just a couple of years after I had graduated he was murdered by a former student. The last time I entered my high school was for a memorial that any of his former students could attend.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Man, I had a HS biology teacher who would dip a cotton ball in amonia and place it right under the nose of a sleeping student. If that didn't work, and I swear this is true and I witnessed it one time, he took a single firecracker and placed it under the sleeper's desk! There was no need for a level three escalation. There is almost no way that would fly today. He was such a cool teacher. He demanded excellence, but also was understanding with problematic students (he worked closely with the principle on discipline). Sometimes he would magically appear in the classroom like Batman, I believe by crawling thorugh the drop ceiling, though I never actually saw him do that - he'd just be there. He would go to other teacher's classrooms that way too. He could also cure hiccups by "throwing them out the window." I really don't know how he did it. Sadly, just a couple of years after I had graduated he was murdered by a former student. The last time I entered my high school was for a memorial that any of his former students could attend.

Did you perchance go to an all boys prep school?

 

[BrianL]

Did you perchance go to an all boys prep school?

No, just a regular public high school. Well, it was one of the better ones in the system at the time. I went there despite living outside of it's area.

 

[holden]

My AP Bio teacher just before a pop quiz: "Does anyone have any questions, traumas, troubles, tribulations..."

This would send us into a frenzy of making up questions to delay the quiz while we quickly scanned our notes.

My history teacher (who could probably tell how bored we were): "Are you with me? Are you there?"

She repeated this several times a class.

 

[Dznypal]

One Thst always sticks out the most is from first grade. “If you don’t stop playing with your hair I’m going to cut if off”

That sure tramitzed a 6 year old

 

[barkley]

You've got Diarrhea of the Mouth

the one and only time my 7th grade math teacher 'lost it' she very calmly said this to my classmate. i think it was the only time laughter was ever heard emitting from her classroom b/c EVERYONE broke into it after an initial group gasp.

 

[barkley]

'may the force be with you'.

star wars had come out at the end of my freshman year in high school and my sophomore english teacher was ADDICTED to it (posters in the classroom) to the extent that he somehow managed to talk the school into letting his classes go on a fully sponsored all day field trip to see the movie AND not just see it at our local movie theater-we took a couple of busses to san francisco (over 50 miles from the school) b/c he did'nt feel our local theaters had the facilities to 'do it justice'

 

[MrsPete]

If you could hear some of the offensive things kids say to teachers these days, it's a wonder the teachers aren't telling the kids to shut the bleep up or get the bleep out!

You have no idea. Just to throw out one example, I recently had an accident and had a very visible ... I'll just say boo-boo. On my face. Very noticeable. Of course I told my students what happened, that it wasn't painful, and that it would heal. One of my students laughed at me (out of control laughed) and said she hoped it would scar. Most of the class looked at her like, "Really?" But, yeah, these kids exist.

Sadly, just a couple of years after I had graduated he was murdered by a former student.

Wow. I've taught two murderers over the years, but none that murdered a teacher.

Once I was at the grocery store and a carful of students saw me, yelled at me in the parking lot, then followed me in their car. I didn't want them to know where I live. It was Wednesday night, so I pulled into a church parking lot where the service was just getting out -- seeing all the people, the boys just kept driving. Don't tell me Jesus doesn't save!