Phone etiquette

[PirateSnowmen]

I'm in college, and my roommate is ALWAYS on the phone (with the same person, I believe). She's a nice girl, but this is really starting to irritate me. She's on the phone right now (it's about 1:30am) and she's been on the phone for a good 4-5 hours already. This isn't unusual - 2 weekends ago she said she was on the phone for ~36 hours during the course of the weekend.

The thing that really bothers me is that she stays in the room to talk on the phone. I realize this is her room too, but I'd really rather not hear her talk on the phone while I'm studying, watching tv, or trying to sleep. Back at the beginning of the semester she used to leave the room to talk on the phone, but she doesn't anymore. I used to not mind her talking on the phone, but it's kept me awake at night a couple of times in the past few weeks. I told her that I couldn't sleep when she was on the phone, but she just looked at me, giggled, and said sorry.

She also stays on the phone all night. Literally. The other night she talked on the phone all night instead of doing an important english essay. Once she was done talking (it was about 7:30am), she decided she was tired and wanted to sleep. She ended up over-sleeping and not doing the essay at all. I told her she could have done the essay instead of talking on the phone all night, but she told me that it wasn't her fault

What would you consider proper phone etiquette in this situation? Do I at least have a right to be getting annoyed with her? I told someone the other day about how I was getting irritated and the person pretty much told me I was being a prude and that it's her room too and that she [my roommate] can do what she wants.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

I think you two need to compromise. She can talk on the phone in your room until XX:xx. Could you go to the library to study? I don't think she's going to curb her habit, so you need to work around it.

And yes, you have every right to be angry.

 

[MickeyisBeast]

I would be angry, so yeah, you have a right to be angry.

It's your room too, and if it annoys you, then you have a right to discuss it with her and try to work things out. You guys just need to compromise.

 

[imabrat]

I think you two need to compromise. She can talk on the phone in your room until XX:xx. Could you go to the library to study? I don't think she's going to curb her habit, so you need to work around it.

And yes, you have every right to be angry.

 

[Sparx]

the semester is ALMOST over. yes, you have every right to be angry, but i wouldn't make comments like "you could have done the essay." if she doesn't do her homework, its her own fault, and you don't need to police her on it. you're not her mom.

could you listen to music? could you wear ear plugs to sleep? at this point you just have to make it to the end of the semester. she's probably always been this way and she probably won't change. she obviously doesn't take responsibility for her actions as proven with the essay, and not respecting your need for quiet.

shes not going to listen to "only talk till 10:00" or whatever rules. she probably won't last too much longer if this is how she acts, so you just need to concentrate on yourself and getting through this semester. i really thing a pair of headphones and ear plugs will do you wonders.

 

[pigletgirl]

If she really needs to talk to this person for that long, you could ask her to move to the common area in the dorm. That is not much to ask. She needs to be respectful of your studying/sleeping time.

Also, the semester is almost over. Hang in there!!!!

 

[broadwayariel]

I would start off with letting her know about how her phone habits are giving you problems when you sleep. Since you don't have anywhere else to spend the night, she needs to listen to you. Let her know you're having problems sleeping when she's on the phone, and ask if you two could have a rule of no talking on the phone once someone is asleep, except for emergencies. Say everything with a lot of kindness and make sure you sound understanding of her phone habit, and she'll be more likely to respond positively. Kindness,kindness,kindness. If she doesn't respond, then you could try it more forcefully, and then request a different person for your roommate next semester

I really admire how you are being so careful about the situation. I know so many girls that wouldn't handle it with grace.

 

[GoofysOnlyGirl]

First have you tried talking to her yet? That would probably be step number one. Just explain that you are both paying for the room, and see if you can set up some times when she can talk in the room, or a time which can be considered quiet hours. Like say she can talk in the room till 11:00p.m. to allow you to get some rest, and then you can go to the common area/library to study ect. during the day so she can freely use the room as well. Its almost the end now, but if you are still roommates next semester it should help.

If she doesn't listen and it is affecting your studying, classes, grades, you need to get a hold of your RA and let them know the situation. They are trained to deal with these type of situations and should be able to help you out.

Good luck. I have the opposite problem, my roommate is ALWAYS studying and our room is ALWAYS quiet lol.

 

[PirateSnowmen]

Thanks for the replies guys.

She's a really nice person, it's just that she talks on the phone so much. Honestly, I don't really expect her to last long, but I think she'll make it to the end of the year. She graduated top of her class in high school, but in college she doesn't have ANY motivation do do ANYTHING. The only reason why I told her she probably should have done her essay is because she was sitting and complaining about how she "didn't have time to get it done". Uh, okay. But, honestly, I wasn't saying it in a snooty way or anything - we say stuff like that to each other all the time. It's just the relationship we have - it's really hard to explain.

I have really good headphones that block out sound really well, but they broke about two weeks ago. I would go get some more, but I know I'm getting some good noise-canceling headphones for christmas. Last night I was using my iPod headphones to try to block out the noise, but every time I would turn up the music, she would just talk louder (the music was so loud she could hear it through the headphones).

As for studying, I usually do go somewhere else. But, sometimes, I'll just have something that won't take too long and it's not worth it to leave. Like, the other day I had to read about 10 pages out of a book, but it took me about twice as long because I was distracted by her talking. I'll just leave next time, though.

I've told her that she's kept me up the past two nights, but I'm not so sure she understood. We'll see how tonight goes.

I guess it's good to know that at least some people know why I'm getting irritated. Definitely makes me feel less like a prude.

 

[Sparx]

Thanks for the replies guys.

She's a really nice person, it's just that she talks on the phone so much. Honestly, I don't really expect her to last long, but I think she'll make it to the end of the year. She graduated top of her class in high school, but in college she doesn't have ANY motivation do do ANYTHING. The only reason why I told her she probably should have done her essay is because she was sitting and complaining about how she "didn't have time to get it done". Uh, okay. But, honestly, I wasn't saying it in a snooty way or anything - we say stuff like that to each other all the time. It's just the relationship we have - it's really hard to explain.

I have really good headphones that block out sound really well, but they broke about two weeks ago. I would go get some more, but I know I'm getting some good noise-canceling headphones for christmas. Last night I was using my iPod headphones to try to block out the noise, but every time I would turn up the music, she would just talk louder (the music was so loud she could hear it through the headphones).

As for studying, I usually do go somewhere else. But, sometimes, I'll just have something that won't take too long and it's not worth it to leave. Like, the other day I had to read about 10 pages out of a book, but it took me about twice as long because I was distracted by her talking. I'll just leave next time, though.

I've told her that she's kept me up the past two nights, but I'm not so sure she understood. We'll see how tonight goes.

I guess it's good to know that at least some people know why I'm getting irritated. Definitely makes me feel less like a prude.

i went to school with a lot of people who were co-valedic and they had never worked for a single grade they had. highschool had just come easy for them (or they cheated their way through for a few of them) and then they go to college and epic failed becuase they didn't know how to study or manage their time without their mom holding their hand.

i really suggest ear plugs for sleeping.

 

[PirateSnowmen]

i went to school with a lot of people who were co-valedic and they had never worked for a single grade they had. highschool had just come easy for them (or they cheated their way through for a few of them) and then they go to college and epic failed becuase they didn't know how to study or manage their time without their mom holding their hand.

i really suggest ear plugs for sleeping.

I'm pretty sure she worked for her grades. She took her high school classes plus classes at a local community college. She didn't live with her parents, so she didn't really have anyone pushing her to do work. But I know exactly what you're saying - my high school salutatorian cheated her way through everything. It always made me mad that I would try really hard to do my work, but I kept getting passed up by people who cheated on everything.