PETER ARNETT HIRED, FIRED BY AL JAZEERA
In First Appearance, Calls Coalition Battle Plan A Thing of Beauty
Controversial newsman Peter Arnett was hired today by the Al Jazeera network after being fired by NBC, but was then immediately fired by Al Jazeera for effusively praising the U.S.-led coalitions battle plan in his first on-air appearance.
Mr. Arnett, who had called the U.S. battle plan a failure just one day earlier on Iraqi TV, stunned his new bosses at al Jazeera with his sudden about-face.
Anchoring his new Al Jazeera program, Peter Arnett Live, Mr. Arnett used his introductory remarks to call the coalition battle plan a thing of beauty.
Im sure a lot of you out there are saying, oh, goody, goody, its Peter Arnett, hes going to say something wicked about the coalitions battle plan, Mr. Arnett said. Well, fat chance of that, suckers.
The coalitions battle plan is the best battle plan Ive ever seen, and Ive seen quite a few, baby, Mr. Arnett tartly added.
Al Jazeera executives pulled the plug on Mr. Arnett ninety seconds into the broadcast and terminated his employment immediately, paying off his five-year contract in its entirety.
We just want him to go away, one Al Jazeera executive said. Hes some kind of a whack-job.
Mr. Arnett refused to comment on his departure from the Al Jazeera network, saying only that he was going to work at a Blockbuster Video store in Kuwait City.
But in the early hours at his new job, Mr. Arnetts employment at Blockbuster appeared shaky, after he reportedly told a customer, Why would you want to rent Maid in Manhattan? That movie totally sucked. Fine, if you want it, go find it yourself.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
In First Appearance, Calls Coalition Battle Plan A Thing of Beauty
Controversial newsman Peter Arnett was hired today by the Al Jazeera network after being fired by NBC, but was then immediately fired by Al Jazeera for effusively praising the U.S.-led coalitions battle plan in his first on-air appearance.
Mr. Arnett, who had called the U.S. battle plan a failure just one day earlier on Iraqi TV, stunned his new bosses at al Jazeera with his sudden about-face.
Anchoring his new Al Jazeera program, Peter Arnett Live, Mr. Arnett used his introductory remarks to call the coalition battle plan a thing of beauty.
Im sure a lot of you out there are saying, oh, goody, goody, its Peter Arnett, hes going to say something wicked about the coalitions battle plan, Mr. Arnett said. Well, fat chance of that, suckers.
The coalitions battle plan is the best battle plan Ive ever seen, and Ive seen quite a few, baby, Mr. Arnett tartly added.
Al Jazeera executives pulled the plug on Mr. Arnett ninety seconds into the broadcast and terminated his employment immediately, paying off his five-year contract in its entirety.
We just want him to go away, one Al Jazeera executive said. Hes some kind of a whack-job.
Mr. Arnett refused to comment on his departure from the Al Jazeera network, saying only that he was going to work at a Blockbuster Video store in Kuwait City.
But in the early hours at his new job, Mr. Arnetts employment at Blockbuster appeared shaky, after he reportedly told a customer, Why would you want to rent Maid in Manhattan? That movie totally sucked. Fine, if you want it, go find it yourself.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
