Personality issues..

[Aisling]

My husband will never admit he is wrong and will never ever say he is sorry, no matter what he does. On numerous occasions he's thown away things I was saving and never even the most casual "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you wanted that." If he bumps into me or steps on my foot, never an "oh, sorry."

My DH is like that, too.

 

[LuvOrlando]

When I run across people like that I run the other way. I personally have no problem with saying 'sorry' even if I know the other person is going to hold it over my head, because the 'sorry' is more about me than them. I guess the reason it doesn't bug me is because when I hurt someone's feelings etc it usually is a genuine accident, so I have no guilt and no position to defend. I believe the people who won't say sorry act this way because they have deep control issues and won't give anyone else an inch of equality with them. Maybe I'm wrong but that's just how I see it. I do often wonder if these sorts realize how babyish the behavior looks when compared to other adults in the world?

 

[C.Ann]

When I run across people like that I run the other way. I personally have no problem with saying 'sorry' even if I know the other person is going to hold it over my head, because the 'sorry' is more about me than them. I guess the reason it doesn't bug me is because when I hurt someone's feelings etc it usually is a genuine accident, so I have no guilt and no position to defend. I believe the people who won't say sorry act this way because they have deep control issues and won't give anyone else an inch of equality with them. Maybe I'm wrong but that's just how I see it. I do often wonder if these sorts realize how babyish the behavior looks when compared to other adults in the world?

Hmm.. "Control issues".. That's another possibility I didn't think of..

 

[rie'smom]

My mom is never wrong. My brother once told her that he never saw her lose an argument. She wears this as a badge of pride instead of realizing that she has been wrong and often. It's very hard growing up with someone like this. My poor dad is still living with her. God forgive me but I hope she dies first so that my father can have some peace before he dies.

 

[tazdev3225]

My brother is ALWAYS right. He will argue with someone to the point of total exasperation. We just ignore him, although I will get him started when my mom is picking on me at Thanksgiving. I actually got him a T-shirt for Christmas that said, "Those of you who think you are right annoy those of us that are." He even got a laugh out of it. Seriously he cannot admit he is wrong. He even argued with my daughter that she was totally wrong about an incident she saw first hand and he only read about. He is just very stubborn.

 

[novajeanjellybean]

My DBF is like this. Drives me crazy. It's part of the reason that our relationship is hanging by a thread right now He's always right and never can admit he's wrong. For those of you that have husbands and significant others that are like this, how do you deal with this? Not to hijack the thread but I am at my wit's end. Sorry C. Ann

 

[LuvOrlando]

My DBF is like this. Drives me crazy. It's part of the reason that our relationship is hanging by a thread right now He's always right and never can admit he's wrong. For those of you that have husbands and significant others that are like this, how do you deal with this? Not to hijack the thread but I am at my wit's end. Sorry C. Ann

How old is he? If he's on the young side there is a chance he'll see it is self destructive and change for himself, if he's on the set in his ways side, no chance. Personally, I'd find someone else who is more into equal partnership. What happens in the future when you disagree over your home? Your kids? How he is treating you? IMO the only people who get along with the sort who think they are better than everyone else is the sort who agree with them. I always said the only thing my parents had in common was that both of them thought he was a god. Oh, and I'm not being sarcastic, I am dead serious.

 

[missypie]

My DBF is like this. Drives me crazy. It's part of the reason that our relationship is hanging by a thread right now He's always right and never can admit he's wrong. For those of you that have husbands and significant others that are like this, how do you deal with this? Not to hijack the thread but I am at my wit's end. Sorry C. Ann

Have you met his parents? If his dad is the same way, he may be hopeless.

 

[padams]

Nova, I'm afraid it might be time for a new bf.

My MIL will never admit that she is wrong, and can take it to hysterical extremes to avoid saying she's sorry. DH will from time to time show that he is his mother's son, and I remind him that he is being like his mom (he does detest how his mom acts). After 20 years, I am slowly getting through to DH that if he can just say "I'm sorry", we can move on. Fortunately these moments are few and far between. However, for Nova, if it's affecting your relationship now while you are dating, it might be a sign to move on. Would you really want to put up with the "I'm never wrong" behavior always and forever?

 

[novajeanjellybean]

How old is he? If he's on the young side there is a chance he'll see it is self destructive and change for himself, if he's on the set in his ways side, no chance. Personally, I'd find someone else who is more into equal partnership. What happens in the future when you disagree over your home? Your kids? How he is treating you? IMO the only people who get along with the sort who think they are better than everyone else is the sort who agree with them. I always said the only thing my parents had in common was that both of them thought he was a god. Oh, and I'm not being sarcastic, I am dead serious.

He treats me fine, till he is wrong and he has to admit it.

Have you met his parents? If his dad is the same way, he may be hopeless.

I'm very close with his parents. We've been together for 12 years.

Nova, I'm afraid it might be time for a new bf.

My MIL will never admit that she is wrong, and can take it to hysterical extremes to avoid saying she's sorry. DH will from time to time show that he is his mother's son, and I remind him that he is being like his mom (he does detest how his mom acts). After 20 years, I am slowly getting through to DH that if he can just say "I'm sorry", we can move on. Fortunately these moments are few and far between. However, for Nova, if it's affecting your relationship now while you are dating, it might be a sign to move on. Would you really want to put up with the "I'm never wrong" behavior always and forever?

Thank you for the advice. This is definitely something to think about.

 

[DisneyAngel83]

Yep, it may be possible that what you are looking at may be NPD... do some research about it to find out all the details. I believe there are two NPD's in my family... which is really sad and very difficult!

To be a family member of an NPD is terrible... they are emotionally and sometimes physically abusive towards you. The world revolves around them and their problems are always someone else's fault! You can never, ever do right in their eyes and so will never get any kind of recognition from them unless it will also bolster their image. You only look good to them when you become their "trophy" that they are showing off.

The hard part is when people who don't understand NPD try to get you to reconcile with the NPD person... You just can't make them understand that its just not possible because they are not capable of empathy! You can't say "please have a heart... you hurt my feelings" etc because they don't believe they could ever hurt anyone's feelings, which means you can never have a healthy relationship with them.

There are a few discussion boards out there for people dealing with NPD's which can help you cope. Most people tend to go in the direction of limited contact with very very strong boundaries or to no contact.