People with Tempers!

[LovableGluttons]

This is an ongoing debate in my family.


I'm a slow burner. I save up my frustrations until I hit overload, then have to go run, have a cry, or write my frustrations down, instead of making a scene.

My husband pops off quickly in response to stressors. He keeps it reined in at work.

We can't agree on which is healthier.

I think letting it roll off, but then the remnants seem to add up over a long period of time is healthier.


DH thinks letting it out immediately is healthier as allowing that to just build must be unhealthy.


What do you think?



No, this is not for a research paper! LOL Just to help with the discussion between my husband and myself.

 

[2Kds2K9]

My experience. Dad would come home and blow off steam. He'd rant and rave and just "get it all out". Mom would listen and take it all in.

Dad had normal blood pressure, Mom had high blood pressure. Draw your own conclusion.

 

[Miniefan]

In my own life experience, I am the type of person to just let it flow, If I have beef or an issue, I state it, a few other words may ensue and that's that I go on my merry way. I feel a lot better that way. People are different though, that doesn't necessarily mean its more healthy one way or another, to me it just depends on the person.

I do feel like it really isnt health to just hold onto things, but that isn't the same thing as letting it roll off- by rolling off, you just let it go, but if you constantly let things go, and your somehow holding onto these things letting them build up then that is def not healthy. Did that make any sense?!?

Kim

 

[LovableGluttons]

In my own life experience, I am the type of person to just let it flow, If I have beef or an issue, I state it, a few other words may ensue and that's that I go on my merry way. I feel a lot better that way. People are different though, that doesn't necessarily mean its more healthy one way or another, to me it just depends on the person.

I do feel like it really isnt health to just hold onto things, but that isn't the same thing as letting it roll off- by rolling off, you just let it go, but if you constantly let things go, and your somehow holding onto these things letting them build up then that is def not healthy. Did that make any sense?!?

Kim

Yes! It makes sense!


Thanks!

 

[BMC423]

my husband and I are the same way but in reverse lol... I can't go to sleep if something is bothering me so i have to let it out and find a resolution right then and there. My husband can hold on to things for DAYS and not say a word. When I least expect it he'll say so yeah last week I was annoyed at so and so for whatever reason, and I'm like why are you saying this now and he goes now is when I feel like talking about it. Sometimes it drives me crazy but I guess whatever works for you.

 

[rie'smom]

I blow up and get over it in a minute or so. DH has a long fuse but can't let go. I have low blood pressure and cholesterol. He's just the opposite.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Your way is healthier for you, his way is healthier for him.

 

[Klismania]

Another point to consider: the people who constantly blow up and "let off steam" are harmful to the health of those around them who have to listen to it/deal with it. I suspect this is the reason why a previous OP's mother had high blood pressure. She wasn't necessarily holding onto her anger. She was living with a time bomb that could, and does, go off at any minute of any given day. That kind of stress would raise anyone's blood pressure.

I'm a very patient, long fuse type of person. It takes a great deal to make me lose my temper; an occasion that happens maybe twice a year tops. But when I blow, I will BLOW BIG TIME. Anything handy will probably be picked up and thrown and my aim is very good.

My blood pressure is low because I've learned to not sweat the small stuff and learned how to tell the difference between stupid crap that I can't do anything about and important times when I can make a difference by taking a stand. But it took me a long time to internalize that lesson. Some people never do.

 

[bicker]

We can't agree on which is healthier.

My guess is that expressing frustrations is healthier than bottling them up, but eliminating the unreliable expectations that bring about frustrations in the first place is going to have a much more positive long-term impact on health.

 

[okeydokey]

Another point to consider: the people who constantly blow up and "let off steam" are harmful to the health of those around them who have to listen to it/deal with it. I suspect this is the reason why a previous OP's mother had high blood pressure. She wasn't necessarily holding onto her anger. She was living with a time bomb that could, and does, go off at any minute of any given day. That kind of stress would raise anyone's blood pressure.

I'm a very patient, long fuse type of person. It takes a great deal to make me lose my temper; an occasion that happens maybe twice a year tops. But when I blow, I will BLOW BIG TIME. Anything handy will probably be picked up and thrown and my aim is very good.

My blood pressure is low because I've learned to not sweat the small stuff and learned how to tell the difference between stupid crap that I can't do anything about and important times when I can make a difference by taking a stand. But it took me a long time to internalize that lesson. Some people never do.

I agree. Blowing up and yelling about things isn't healthy behavior, it's immature, disrespectful and selfish behavior. It's also very damaging to those who are made to witness it.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think somewhere in the middle is the way to go.

I think that the person who blows up at the drop of a hat is immature. They are also being controlling, because they know that thiose around them will be extra vigilant so as to not 'set them off".

I think the person who holds everything in is also at risk for health issues.

I think the best tactic is to try and discuss things before they become argumentattive issues and reach conclusions. But then again, a good blow up every once in a while can't hurt.

 

[rie'smom]

Who is saying that those of us who blow up do it often? I get upset maybe once a month and sometimes not even that.

 

[Stitchfans]

I blow up and get over it in a minute or so.

Same for me.

 

[m-tinkerbelle]

I hold everything in and trust me, it's bad for your health (both mental and physical health).

 

[bicker]

Who is saying that those of us who blow up do it often?

I think some folks derive satisfaction from condemning anything that they don't want done by others (even if they're things they do themselves, but won't admit to).

 

[sparklynails23]

There was some guy who used to do the talk show circuit and try to get people to adopt the "Hawaiian" personality. His argument was that if you just let things flow and adjust, you are a healthier person. He had health statistics to support his position, but I don't remember his name.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

I might find it a little easier to "go with the flow" if I was living in Hawaii

 

[hereyago]

I might find it a little easier to "go with the flow" if I was living in Hawaii

I went to Oahu in 07 and adopted the go with the flow mentality. unless someone tries to hurt my kid, then' it's on like Donkey Kong

 

[Robinrs]

I spent the first 31 years of my life "going off" in New York, but it doesn't really work down in Georgia. I still have a pretty bad temper but am blessed my son is VERY SLOW to burn, two of us in the same house would be MAYHEM!

I let it go then it's over. He, on the other hand, doesn't let things go as easily. I think I'm healthier for ME, but not for those I'm around.

 

[okeydokey]

I think some folks derive satisfaction from condemning anything that they don't want done by others (even if they're things they do themselves, but won't admit to).

Which folks would that be?