PDD-NOS questions

[aimlyles]

My youngest son hasn't officially been diagnosed but his behavioral pediatrician is leaning towards PDD-NOS. He's been in speech/language sessions since April for expressive/receptive delays and will attend a mixed pre-K class (special needs and model students) throught the school district in the fall. We started the evaluation process with the school district late so some of the evals such as OT will not be completely until school starts back up.

We are having some issues with him that I'm not sure how to address, if anyone has any suggestions or can guide me to a book that will help I would greatly appreciate it. These are some of the issues/concerns:

1. absolutely HATES haircuts. DH has to bear hug him will I try to buzz cut him will he's kicking and screaming. he started getting haircuts at 8 months old and never had an issue until shortly after his 2nd birthday

2. Hates having water poured on his head in the bath to rinse out the shampoo and lately I've noticed just scrubbing (gently) the shampoo in his hair has started to bother him to. The deal with the water is when it gets in his eyes but it's not an issue when he's out in the pool??? I usually keep a towel close by to wipe them right away but not before he starts screaming and crying about it

3. He's not potty trained (will be 3.5 next month) and I've read some great tips to get started but the problem is he won't wear undies, he wants a diaper. We tried about 4-6 months ago and he would go a here and there on the potty but now he has no interest. I've tried to let him swim in his little pool with just his bathing suit and not a swimmy to let his skin breathe and he cries for a diaper...not sure if it's just because he's use to it or what.

 

[MaggieMollyMom]

My youngest son hasn't officially been diagnosed but his behavioral pediatrician is leaning towards PDD-NOS. He's been in speech/language sessions since April for expressive/receptive delays and will attend a mixed pre-K class (special needs and model students) throught the school district in the fall. We started the evaluation process with the school district late so some of the evals such as OT will not be completely until school starts back up.

We are having some issues with him that I'm not sure how to address, if anyone has any suggestions or can guide me to a book that will help I would greatly appreciate it. These are some of the issues/concerns:

1. absolutely HATES haircuts. DH has to bear hug him will I try to buzz cut him will he's kicking and screaming. he started getting haircuts at 8 months old and never had an issue until shortly after his 2nd birthday

2. Hates having water poured on his head in the bath to rinse out the shampoo and lately I've noticed just scrubbing (gently) the shampoo in his hair has started to bother him to. The deal with the water is when it gets in his eyes but it's not an issue when he's out in the pool??? I usually keep a towel close by to wipe them right away but not before he starts screaming and crying about it

3. He's not potty trained (will be 3.5 next month) and I've read some great tips to get started but the problem is he won't wear undies, he wants a diaper. We tried about 4-6 months ago and he would go a here and there on the potty but now he has no interest. I've tried to let him swim in his little pool with just his bathing suit and not a swimmy to let his skin breathe and he cries for a diaper...not sure if it's just because he's use to it or what.

Hi, sorry your son is going thru this. My 3 yr old dd was diagnosed with autism at 21 months and she has gone thru many similar things. For her, alot of it is sensory, but can be managed thru behavioural therapy. For example, she has an oral aversion (can't handle utensils, toothbrush, etc) in her mouth. So we started a program for teeth brushing. We just sat with the tooth brush and held it, let her hold it etc. nothing else. then gradually worked up to her letting us put in her mouth for 3 seconds. and then work up from there. All the while using reinforcement (sometimes was a video on youtube etc) for basiacally not freaking out!

If you can get a good sensory integration book that may help. One I like is titled something like' building bridges thru sensory integration' or something along those lines. it was helpful for me last year.

As for the potty training, i'm with you...still trying. my kids are twins and the DD without the diagnosis had no problems and has been trained for almost a year. Her sister is not ready. Take your time with it. I have a friend who has a son with ASD too and when he turned 4 she said enuff is enuff and one day filled the bathroom with balloons and party things ( was his fave at the time) and had him run around the house with just a shirt and bare bum) the idea is to have them feel when they are going to start to clue in. This is actually what I did for my dd who is trained. Took a week. Same with my friend;s son. However, I don't know that this will work for her sister!
All in good time. Patience is my bff lately!

good luck to you!!

 

[Singledad]

These are some of the issues/concerns:

1. absolutely HATES haircuts.

This sounds like a sensory thing. here is an article full of tips/tricks that may or maynot help. http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/getting-a-haircut-if-tactile-defensive.html

2. Hates having water poured on his head in the bath to rinse out the shampoo and lately I've noticed just scrubbing (gently) the shampoo in his hair has started to bother him to. The deal with the water is when it gets in his eyes but it's not an issue when he's out in the pool??? I usually keep a towel close by to wipe them right away but not before he starts screaming and crying about it

Oh is this *EVER* my child! This is very much so a sensory thing. OT has helped this a tiny bit, but not enough to make a big difference yet. Things that has helped DD is: laying down in the bath, and her swishing her head to rinse. I then use a wash cloth and wipe at the bangs area. this keeps all water off the face. The other way I do it during showers is, I have a hand held shower head. I take it down and give it to her. I let HER control it. I've taught her to closer to her hair she holds it, the less it sprays areas she doesn't want sprayed. But still, she feels better with HER being in control of the sensations.

3. He's not potty trained (will be 3.5 next month) and I've read some great tips to get started but the problem is he won't wear undies, he wants a diaper. We tried about 4-6 months ago and he would go a here and there on the potty but now he has no interest. I've tried to let him swim in his little pool with just his bathing suit and not a swimmy to let his skin breathe and he cries for a diaper...not sure if it's just because he's use to it or what.

Also another sign of sensory processing... mine finally trained the month before she was to start pre-school. I just told her that she isn't allowed to go to school until she goes on the potty and wears underwear. eventually she decided that was more important to her than the diaper.

I really wish you luck with everything!

 

[toodycat]

#1 and #2 are definitely sensory related. My DS received Occupational Therapy that specifically dealt with the sensory stuff. It definitely helped.

As for the potty, kids on the spectrum often have GI issues and sensitivity. We found our son did a lot better when we stopped giving him juice and milk. He switched to soy milk for a while. If he had juice, it was cut with water. Hang in there. It gets better. I promise.

 

[Familyof4lovesDW]

Just thinking of my own DS and noises, thinking about getting his hair buzzed and the noise the clippers make when the hair is getting buzzed. Do you have to buzz it? Would he sit in front of the tv watching his favorite tv show while someone trimmed, not buzzed his hair? This is how we cut my DS's hair, watching Barney lol. Would he wear ear plugs to make noise not as loud, or is it more the clippers touching his head that he has a problem w than noise?

I would have him lay in the tub to rinse his hair as a pp mentioned. Place your hand under his head so he does not feel like he will "go under" as my DD says.

My DS was the opposite and loved pouring things over his head, wooden blocks, legos, cars, he did not care!

He also went to a pubic preschool which was very beneficial for him. Once he was around other children that were potty trained the interest came, he was almost 4.

I dont have a lot of experience in this area, so hopefully some of this may be helpful.

 

[ireland_nicole]

I agree with the pp about the clippers; my DS didn't let clippers near him until last year (he's 9) we did a lot of progressive sensory work first, similar to what a pp talked about the toothbrushing thing.

 

[carrie6466]

I have to say my dd (also pdd-nos/asperger's/spd) who just turned 8 has never had a 'real' haircut. First it was for noises and smells and water in the face/ears that she'd get. She would just get overwhelmed with everything going on. I've still not given up though. I'm going to try my best to get her a trim somewhere before we leave on Tuesday.

We've tried taking her with me to watch, with my MIL to watch, with other kids to watch. Nothing. We never last more than 5 minutes. I was thinking about the MK barber shop, but she did bbb and hated it and now that is another thing she says she'll never do again ::sigh::

At the very least, she's agreed to a pedicure. This is something she's agreeable to at the moment. Until it's the moment to actually go into the salon and sit down and start it. I'm sure it's not exactly sure what is going to happen, but I'm trying to do what I can I really would like a haircut with or without her. I'm just afraid they'd leave it too short for me to pony tail and that wouldn't work for me in this heat.

Finally got her trained, she was just after 4. It was because of our disney trip at the time. I told her if she really wanted to go, we couldn't bring diapers or pull ups. Yes, I lied. I said anyone over 4 wasn't allowed to have diapers or pull ups at WDW unless they were sick. It took all winter, but by the time our trip rolled around in the end of June, she'd gone 2 weeks without a diaper or pullup and did fine. That's not to say she didn't have any accidents or set backs. At 8 she still has the occasional accident. But everyone is ok with that and we move on

We never had the oral problems that some have, because my dd loved having her toothbrush in her mouth. I guess it felt good and she'd walk around for hours like that. We went through more toothbrushes that way LOL

Sorry if I am rambling !

 

[Ali]

I could have written the original post 7 years ago. Exact same issues, exact same timeline. Haircuts had to be quick and nobody could use clippers. I stayed right with him the whole time, in the way sometimes, to keep calm. Potty training was on that schedule too, except we worked out a system where ge would ask for a pull up, he'd go in it, and I would help him clean up. I told him "the rule is no peeing in a pull up" and he is a rule boy so ge did what I said. eventually we found out that setting an ending date for using pull ups would work and told he couldn't have any more when he turned 4. We had to use a reward system for using the toilet in public places. try giving your child a foam visor and a outing cup for washing hair. Giving control of the water usually works. Sensory issues are hard and the kids act like they could die while dealing with things they don't like, but they won't be damaged. You can get through this!

 

[aimlyles]

Thanks for all the suggestions/info. Tonight he had his bath and no screaming when the water was poured over his head (YEAH) DH said he found if you start talking about an off topic with him while you do it he almost doesn't notice. Fingers crossed it will continue to work!

As far as the haircuts, I'm not sure if using just scissors would work. I'm so afraid to try as he moves so much with the clippers but when he's due for his next cut I'm might bring him somewhere and give it a try. If it doesn't work I'll just continue doing it at home, I just hate how upset he gets. I know I could let it grow long but poor Tom is a sweater, even with his hair short his head sweats so much.

Wish me luck with potty training, I hope to start next week. I'm going to try a combo of things, picture cards, which he seems to respond well to for other things, rewards, and running around the house either naked or in undies all day.

 

[linnell]

OP, I sent you a PM about a place in Mass that does an excellent job with haircuts for kids, esp ones with sensory issues. When my oldest was 2 he kicked the girl cutting his hair to get her to stop, so I completely understand where you are coming from!

 

[bcoleman22]

The best advice I can give to anyone with a special needs child (in addition to patience) is to make the experience (hair cuts, baths, potty, etc.)as enjoyable to you and them as possible.

-The first time I got my PDD-NOS son to pee on his own in the potty, I had to get him laughing so hard he could no longer hold it...and yes, i've been peed on.

-Hair cuts were bribes of candy or distractions like letting him play simple cell phone games.

-Bath time was messy because I discovered splashing worked just as good at rinsing soap from hair as pouring cups of water over his head.

Hope this helps.

 

[kirstenb1]

our dd is nearly six. I cut her hair until she was 5. Now she's cool with going to our family's stylist. I would just let his hair grow, and cut it myself.

I've got nothing about the hair washing, sorry. DD doesn't love it, but we just do it and move on.

We potty trained her last year. Yes, she was 4 nearly 5. Really old for this, uggh!! Anyway, we knew it would be tough. DH rigged up our computer to tell her every fifteen minutes she had to sit on the potty. She has low tone, and her body really had a hard time knowing when to go. So we tried to take the pressure off her. One week went by, she had gone on the potty a few times, and I think we were all nearly in tears.

I looked at dh and said, right in front of her....I don't think she's ready, I guess we'll need to get out the pullups. I figured it would push her to potty train, or not. She got pretty mad and said she wasn't a baby. She trained like a champ after that. We put a little pad on her bed for nighttime, but she was good after a few weeks of that even. She never has accidents.

Anyway, we just try to gently push whatever milestone we're striving for. Best wishes for you guys!!

 

[kissesbykim]

DS didn't fully potty train until he was 3.5. I had him run around bottomless for a week...he would scream and cry for a diaper when he had to have a BM. One day I refused...it took about 4 hours of on and off the potty and he finally went! I was so excited! We had "potty presents" of hot wheel cars, stickers and various little toys wrapped in birthday wrapping that he'd been obsessing about for a month! After that, he never went in his undies or begged for a diaper again.

DS7 still gets upset when he needs buzzed. His hair just recently grew back (he was on chemo and lost it all) and he had a very hard time with his first couple of haircuts. Now I just take him into a salon and have them cut his hair. For some reason, he's much more mellow if I'm not the one cutting....plus he like to flirt with the girls that work there

 

[Abby Wednesday]

I can give you some suggestions on the pottying, though they will probably be things you've already heard. 1. We found a book that my son absolutely fell in love with that helped him get the whole concept. It was something generic, just called The Potty Book for Boys, it was about a little boy named Henry. 2. We talked to him about it. and 3. We bribed, bribed and bribed some more. M&Ms, goldfish and cheez-its mixed in with the occasional bigger reward like a mini-cupcake. We really didn't have problems weaning him off the rewards. 4. If I had to do it over again, I would have gotten rid of the diapers sooner, because my son figured out quickly that he did not like the feeling of pee in his pants. We were fully trained at 3 yrs 1 month and have had very few accidents since. My suggestion to you would be to look for a book with great pictures that your son really likes, just to get him used to the idea if he is resistant to even sitting on the potty.

I'm in the same boat with the haircut thing, but preparing him for it beforehand helps a little bit. Not much, but a little.

 

[Escape2Disney]

My daughter was nearly 5 when she was finally fully potty trained. Our trick wasn't pretty. We lived in a house that had tile throughout the enitre house. I put her in a nightgown with no undies for an entire weekend. I told her that the new 'rule' was the diapers had to go away. (One benefit to her aspergers is she's very motivated by 'rules'. Too bad the 'rule' to go on the toilet didn't seem to work yet).

At first she REFUSED to sit on the toilet. Then she eventually went on herself walking down the hallway. She was so mortified by getting her legs dirty! I just calmly cleaned it up and told her that without a diaper, she'd need to go on the toilet. This cycle continued for about a day and a half. When I was just about to give up, she ran down the hall and jumped on the toilet.

She never had an accident again.