Party vent

[Blondy876]

I've seen this happen at my school (but not in my classroom). I've actually seen worse. Last year we had a parent bring in, and set up a ton of food in my school's all purpose room. They rented a moon bouncer that was placed outside on the playground and played loud music during the party. Oh and they hired several characters to attend (Spongebob, Patrick, a another one I can't remember). Along with the birthday girl (who came to school dressed like a mini bride) her classmates and teacher attended. As did about 30 other family members.

If this child had been in my room I wouldn't have allowed it. It disrupted the entire day for everyone. Not just the kids in that particular classroom. My students could see the moon bouncer but couldn't understand why they couldn't use it. They could hear the music and wanted to know what was going on. At nap time the parent decided to bring the characters around to all the classrooms waking up and frightening most the my students. My students saw people walking around with cake and couldn't understand why they didn't get cake. It was an awful day.

Good for the OP for standing her ground. It does sound like this parent wanted a party but none of the work.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

You did the right thing. I do agree that you shouldn't have parties, but just a snack.

 

[Talking Hands]

I taught kindergarden the last 3 months of this year while the regualr teacher was out due to illness. We have birthday parties for each child and usually invite the other class of deaf students. Most of these kids never have a party at home and it is the teachers, paras and interpreter that do the party. We get some pizza, soda, chips and a cake and let the kids socialize for an hour or so which the don't get to do at home since most of them are from hearing homes and the families don't sign.
It is actually a wonderful shock if a parent offers to do something special for the kids.
of course we only have a small number of kids so it isn't like a normal sized KG class

 

[paigevz]

which the don't get to do at home since most of them are from hearing homes and the families don't sign.

That's so sad................

 

[disneyjunkie]

If the mom wanted that type of party she should have had it at her own home. Honestly the kids just want a cupcake and a goodie bag. You're much more accomodating than most daycare directors..

BTW, when my DD was in daycare DH and I went to all her birthday parties. Many parents did it really wasn't unusual.

I'm just the teacher.

It's not unusual to have parties in daycare here. My sister and I both had parties when we were in daycare. My mom would bring in snack type stuff, we danced, played a few games and that was it. We would have the "real" party at home with my dad and the rest of our family.

Some of the parents are just going overboard now.

I'm going to talk to my director on Monday to see what we can do to bring it down a few notches.

Thanks for all the advice.

 

[disneymom3]

I was a daycare director and I sooo know where you are coming from. I once in a moment of insanity allowed Barney to come to the classroom. I never made that mistake again!! I also had a rule that only healthy treats could be brought in--i.e. no cupcakes with an inch of frosting on them. These were two year olds and seriously some of the parents wouldn't let hte kids have any sugar yet. I wanted to respect that. When parents would bring cupcakes, they would go home and we would eat our reg animal crackers or goldfish that day. I had soem teed off parents but you bend the rule for one, you have to bend it for them all.

 

[JVL1018]

I'm flabbergasted!

This is the way we do parties for our kids where we live(and how they happened when I was a kid)
Mom sent in cupcakes the morning of the birthday.

Mom did not come, siblings did not come, birthday kid passed out cupcakes when teacher deemed it "party time".

The End.

I do send in juiceboxes and plates/napkins, but I have never heard of a birthday celebration in a school liek what you've described!

 

[drakethib]

The mother was way out of line IMHO.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

At my son's public school kindergarten, I was allowed to bring in a snack for my son's 6th birthday. The snack needed to be store bought for allergy reasons. I did bring it in (cupcakes) and stayed to serve it. My college DD was home and she went, too, but not to sit and party with the kids, but to pitch in so we could leave sooner.

I can't imagine making the party a family affair, inviting other adults and/or children unless it's the immediate younger siblings who are tagging along. As far as all the food, that's a bit strange, but I'm wondering of that's a cultural thing.

It seems that a simple celebration is one thing, but a big shin-dig for a school party is way out of line.

 

[tnkbl]

I think you did the right thing. It is hard to stick to what you said in you letter, but you were in the right. Too bad if the food went to waste, why would adults be at a birthday party in a day care center anyway?
In my classroom the parents are not even aloowed, school rule. It is a party for the kids and not meant to replace a family/friends party.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Here is my

I think 1 hour birthday parties are a waste of time and take away from learning in the classroom. What happened to just bringing in cupcakes and juice? I've never even heard of parents inviting people to the classroom! You should reconsider your policy.

 

[zookeeper]

As both a parent and a teacher I find there to be such an atmosphere amongst parents of everyone going one better than the last. The parents at my school send in expensive treats/lunches for their son/daughter's classmates and then also throw a birthday party for them. I think I'm the only parent at my kids' school that actually dares to have birthday parties at home anymore. Everyone's always got to go somewhere like Chuck E. Cheese or the local waterpark or out to a movie,etc. Then at the end of the party they hand out enormous treat bags to the kids often accompanied by a $6/$7 toy bought for each child. It's nuts!!!!

 

[daisyduck123]

1st grade teacher here...
I go thru the same thing at my school. On the 1st day of school every year, all of the 1st grade teachers send home a letter explaining that we do not have b-day parties at school & no treats of any kind should be sent in on your child's b-day. We explain that we will sing happy b-day, give your child a b-day crown to wear, & give them a card & pencil. We also restate ALL of this on Back to School Night.

Most parents follow the rules, but EVERY YEAR there are always a few throughout the grade level that don't follow the rules. Sometimes a parent will show up with 2 dozen store-bought cupcakes, brownies, etc. We then have to remind them of the rules. They can either take the stuff home or we'll put it in the teacher's lounge. We teachers will not buy the excuse that they "forgot". I'm sure their kids tell them "no treats". We NEVER have cupcakes, brownies, etc. except Halloween & Valentine's Day.

 

[aprilgail2]

why would adults be at a birthday party in a day care center anyway?
In my classroom the parents are not even aloowed, school rule. It is a party for the kids and not meant to replace a family/friends party.

I agree! I would not want other adults and parents in and out of my daughters classroom...to many weirdos around nowdays! At my daughter school you send in store bought cupcakes, brownies, dunkin donuts etc and the kids pass them out at snack time and then get to take one to their last years teacher who gives them a twizzler...and they get a crown. Thats it. Its all done during regular snack time so it doesn't interfer with the rest of the day. If you want an adult party then have the party at home! Around here no one has kids parties in their homes, they are all out but we have neighbors and family over the house for birthdays after the kids party out.

 

[monsterkitty]

Now why don't the parents in my classroom bring food for parites like this? i wouldn't have to cook dinner that night!

It sounds to me that the OP is trying to break the tradition of full-blown birthday parties in the classroom. Instead of saying no parties, she scaled down the party.

In the area I teach in, which is very low income, it is very common for parents to want to have full-clown parties for their child's birthday. The parents didn't get that a half-day parties would take a half-day of learning away. Education isn't at the top pf the priority scale in too many cases - the social aspect is.

OP, was the food good?