parents, would this upset/bother/disturb you? UPDATE pg 4

[Forevryoung]

Ok, for starters I am 21 years old (it may make a difference in your answer)

I have a very close guy friend who is a semi-professional photographer. His pictures are amazingly beautiful. We had been discussing him photographing me for awhile (I usually hate pictures of myself) and this weekend I went for it. The weather in DC has been absolutely wonderful and the cherry-blossoms are out and the pictures came out better then I could have dreamed.

One thing led to another and he wound up taking a photo of me without my shirt (yes, I have complete trust in this guy as a friend and artist). All you see is my back and my face. When I look at the picture my breath is taken away at how beautiful I look (every woman should get this feeling at least once in their life). I would love to blow the picture up to an 8x10 at least, frame it and put it on my wall in my room at home.

As a parent, would you be upset with a picture like this? Would you see it as art? What is your thought on it?

Thanks!

 

[southernbella]

Hi, No I would not be offended by a picture like that(I'm Mommy to 2 girls). I MAY have a hard time admitting that my little girl is a woman!LOL If no "private parts" are showing, to me, no one should be bothered. Plus, if the picture makes you feel that good about yourself, them go for it! Sbella

 

[dmslush]

As the mother of a 14 year old dd, I wouldn't be upset as long as she was an adult at the time of the picture, PLUS, I didn't feel that she had been coerced into taking her clothing off.

 

[GEM]

I definately wouldn't have a problem with it. Its sounds very tasteful and lovely. (And, you're right. We all deserve a chance to feel beautiful!) I wouldn't want someone taking a photo like that of my 14 year old, but I would have no problem with someone your age.

 

[MsLeFever]

It sounds lovely and I'd have no problem with it.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

I have a nearly 15 year old daughter. Although I'd prefer her not pose nude just yet, at 21 I'd have absolutely no problem! I agree that every woman should feel beautiful! Good for you! I'm glad you had this oppertunity. And don't you let anybody tell you it's wrong. There's nothing wrong or dirty about skin!

 

[Barb D]

I'll be frank. Yes, it would bother me quite a bit. For one thing, while I realize he's your friend and you trust him, as a mom I would be concerned that he is abusing that trust. This may be the last thing from the truth (he may indeed be very trustworthy and you're not a child) but child pornographers start little and then start asking for more and more. The fact that he asked (or accepted when you offered) for your shirt to be off would set off huge red flags to me.

 

[mtemm]

not at all. it sounds beautiful.

 

[inaminute]

No. It wouldn't bother me. As long as she's an adult she can do whatever she wants. I'd probably already know about the friend and the friendship anyway. I would make sure that my daughter understood any legal ramifications--i.e., it might come back to bite her one day should she want to be involved in politics, etc. You know how the media and politics can be. Otherwise, I would not be upset.

NOw, if your parents are upset and you're living in their home, it would be inappropriate to hang the photo in your room. Definitely go for it, but respect their wishes when it comes to their home.

 

[mtemm]

I'll be frank. Yes, it would bother me quite a bit. For one thing, while I realize he's your friend and you trust him, as a mom I would be concerned that he is abusing that trust. This may be the last thing from the truth (he may indeed be very trustworthy and you're not a child) but child pornographers start little and then start asking for more and more. The fact that he asked (or accepted when you offered) for your shirt to be off would set off huge red flags to me.

Um, she 21. not exactly a child. so what does this have to do with child pornographers?

granted, I am also someone who is used to seeing naked bodies not as sexual but as beautiful...my art classes in college often included live nudes.

 

[GEM]

I'll be frank. Yes, it would bother me quite a bit. For one thing, while I realize he's your friend and you trust him, as a mom I would be concerned that he is abusing that trust. This may be the last thing from the truth (he may indeed be very trustworthy and you're not a child) but child pornographers start little and then start asking for more and more. The fact that he asked (or accepted when you offered) for your shirt to be off would set off huge red flags to me.

Artists (photographers/painters/sculptors/etc) have used the beauty of the human form as a subject forever. There's nothing remotely pornographic about what the OP describes. Many university art classes even use live nude models for drawing, painting, sculpture, and photography classes. I know ours do. I wouldn't get any "red flag" kind of feeling from the situation as described in the first post. The line and shape of the human body is beautiful, and a totally natural subject for an artist to be interested in. It sounds like there was a great deal of trust between these two, which probably made for some really beautiful and relaxed photos - and now the OP has an incredible piece of art that makes her feel special. As a mother, that would make me very happy.

I really don't think you can compare two adults and a few very tasteful and artistic photos to child pornography

 

[Barb D]

I didn't say she was a child (in fact, I said she wasn't) and I didn't say it was pornography. I said that pornographers START small, so that the subject doesn't feel too uncomfortable, and then ask for more and more.

She asked for my opinion, and I gave it. If my DD did this at 21 I WOULD be uncomfortable with it.

BTW, OP, we were in DC taking pictures with the cherry blossoms on Friday, too. It sure was a beautiful day!

 

[Marseeya]

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. It sounds like a beautiful picture.

 

[Forevryoung]

I'll be frank. Yes, it would bother me quite a bit. For one thing, while I realize he's your friend and you trust him, as a mom I would be concerned that he is abusing that trust. This may be the last thing from the truth (he may indeed be very trustworthy and you're not a child) but child pornographers start little and then start asking for more and more. The fact that he asked (or accepted when you offered) for your shirt to be off would set off huge red flags to me.

Thank you for your honesty- I asked for opinions even though I know what I am going to do (I'm blowing that picture up and if I have to I'll stick it in a drawer).

He is an artist and this is his art, it is very very far from pornography. There was nothing sexual about it.

 

[Sparx]

It sounds like a beautiful picture. You should be proud of it. Frame it.

Art is NOT pornography. Art is art. The photographer is an artist, and she was the subject.

If it upsets people, that is THEIR problem. Not yours. Be Proud of it. It sounds beautiful.

 

[Keli]

As the mother of a 21 yr old dd I will tell you that I would be uncomfortable with this too. Our family standards in regards to nudity say this sort of thing is inappropriate in our home. The photograph's existence I wouldn't have as much of a problem with but displaying it in my home, well I wouldn't like that.

 

[lulugirl]

I don't think I would have a problem w/ it, it sounds like a tasteful photograph.

 

[GEM]

As the mother of a 21 yr old dd I will tell you that I would be uncomfortable with this too. Our family standards in regards to nudity say this sort of thing is inappropriate in our home. The photograph's existence I wouldn't have as much of a problem with but displaying it in my home, well I wouldn't like that.

I'm not attacking you, I promise. I'm just genuinely curious, so I hope you won't take this as hostile. I really don't understand, though. As described by the op, the only body parts visible in the photo are her back and her face. Would you really consider that "nudity" to the point of being inappropriate? I totally understand why you wouldn't want a photo of your daughter's naked chest, behind, etc. But would you really be bothered by just a bare back and a face? Heck, if you take a snapshot of her a in a bathing suit you can probably see most of her back. Would it be the exposed skin in the photos that would bother you, or just the knowledge that she was topless when it was taken - even though you can't see anything? Again, I'm not meaning to attack. I'm just honestly curious.

By the way, we just did a play with our theater students few weeks ago and the poster design featured a photo that sounds very similar. It was one of the actresses in the show seated on a stool against a black backdrop. You can see most of her back (with her very lower back fading into shawdow so you can't see her butt) and she is looking back over her shoulder so half of her face is lit and half is in shadow. It's absolutely beautiful and everyone has commented on how lovely it is. It's up all over town and none of the stores, theater patrons, etc. complained about it at all. The actress in the picture is 19 and of of our photography students took the photo. She says her mom and dad thought it was beautiful.

 

[pixiemomma]

I would not have a problem with it.

 

[lw49033]

Nudity is just nudity. It may become sexual in certain sets of circumstances based on the reaction of the observer, but this doesn't sound like anything sexual. (I would say the same thing about a picture of a nude minor, by the way--even the law says there has to be "lascivious exhibition" of genitals for something to qualify as child porn, not mere nudity.)