parents, would this upset/bother/disturb you? UPDATE pg 4

[TheOtherVillainess]

I would have to see the picture, but if you were my daughter, it would be just fine with me.

TOV

 

[Planogirl]

The photo sounds lovely to me and not the least bit offensive. Besides, you're of age and free to make those decisions yourself.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Honestly? First I'd want to know how old this guy is, and exactly how "professional" he is. Does he have shows, or just photograph young women with their clothes off? He could be on the up-and-up, but...this is also how porn people work. Pictures with clothes on, then a little skin, then no shirt, etc. And they always say it is "beautiful" and "art."

Maybe it was art, maybe it was a scam. Since I wouldn't know, I would have a major problem with it, and have DH and friends check the guy out.

 

[kristen821]

as a mother I would hate it. I would fear for your safety. If it was some random person I didn't know I would think nothing of it. I am happy for you that you love the picture.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

It depends on how much of your body is showing. If it creates the illusion of a nude photo, I would be disappointed. The age of the child would make a difference. With a younger child, I'd be furious. With an older child, I'd be disappointed.

I'm glad to you have a photo that makes you look & feel so great! I rarely like photos of me either. I'm just trying to answer honestly from my point of view as a parent.

 

[Forevryoung]

Honestly? First I'd want to know how old this guy is, and exactly how "professional" he is. Does he have shows, or just photograph young women with their clothes off? He could be on the up-and-up, but...this is also how porn people work. Pictures with clothes on, then a little skin, then no shirt, etc. And they always say it is "beautiful" and "art."

Maybe it was art, maybe it was a scam. Since I wouldn't know, I would have a major problem with it, and have DH and friends check the guy out.

To answer your questions:
My friend is 30. By professional I mean he was hired by a huge company a few years ago to photograph in detail a major historical renovation project over the course of 5 years (the place is a mansion). That was no small task. His photo's have been in a few local art galleries over time and I have seen hundreds of his photos.

This guy is a paramedic by profession (not that there arent sleezy medics ). I've known him for awhile and we talk (really talk) all the time. I definitely trusted him enough to see me like that, trusted him to take the pictures and I trust him with the pictures. I have seen all of the pictures and they are far from "porn".

 

[mickeyfan2]

You are an adult, so having the photo taken is fine, but I would not want the photo displayed in my DD's bedroom in my house. She can display it in her own place's bedroom.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

To answer your questions:
My friend is 30. By professional I mean he was hired by a huge company a few years ago to photograph in detail a major historical renovation project over the course of 5 years (the place is a mansion). That was no small task. His photo's have been in a few local art galleries over time and I have seen hundreds of his photos.

This guy is a paramedic by profession (not that there arent sleezy medics ). I've known him for awhile and we talk (really talk) all the time. I definitely trusted him enough to see me like that, trusted him to take the pictures and I trust him with the pictures. I have seen all of the pictures and they are far from "porn".

OK, I'd still be uncomfortable, but not flipping out. And I'd still have DH & friends check him out.

In my experience the paramedic thing raises a flag. They are the wildest, raunchiest group in the medical profession. Not that I don't like them - a very close friend and her husband are both paramedics...I'm not up on a high horse, just if it were MY daughter, I'd be wondering who all he was showing those pics to, and talking about her with, etc.

I might be kind of a prude. And certainly, compared to the medic crowd, definately, totally a prude.

I'm glad you like your picture, just don't take all your clothes off, OK? Please?

 

[Talking Hands]

Ok, for starters I am 21 years old (it may make a difference in your answer)

I have a very close guy friend who is a semi-professional photographer. His pictures are amazingly beautiful. We had been discussing him photographing me for awhile (I usually hate pictures of myself) and this weekend I went for it. The weather in DC has been absolutely wonderful and the cherry-blossoms are out and the pictures came out better then I could have dreamed.

One thing led to another and he wound up taking a photo of me without my shirt (yes, I have complete trust in this guy as a friend and artist). All you see is my back and my face. When I look at the picture my breath is taken away at how beautiful I look (every woman should get this feeling at least once in their life). I would love to blow the picture up to an 8x10 at least, frame it and put it on my wall in my room at home.

As a parent, would you be upset with a picture like this? Would you see it as art? What is your thought on it?

Thanks!

I would have no problem with it. You are an adult and as long as you were not coerced into something you didn't want to do I would say go for it.

 

[poohandwendy]

No, I would not have a problem with it and it sounds very tastefully done.

However, my DH would probably feel uncomfortable around it...like if it were displayed in a living room or something. (sounds like you plan on putting it in the bedroom, though) He wouldn't be mad or anything, just probably feel uncomfortable around a picture depicting his DD in a sensual way. Maybe not how others would view it, but that is how he would. He would never make a bad comment about it or a big deal over it, but it would weird him out.

 

[poohandwendy]

I just realized that it sounds like your bedroom is in their home.

That may make a slight difference with my DH. He may not be thrilled with that. I thought you were talking about your own place.


I will have to run that one by him.

To give you an example...my DD is living in a dorm room at college. She and her roommate have a few posters that are slightly what my husband would call inappropriate and he would not want them hanging in her bedroom at home. However, her dorm room is not our home, it is hers alone. So, not only would he not say a word, he doesn't give it a second thought. Different story in our home, where we entertain guests and raise our younger children.

As to the appropriateness of the photo shoot, unless you told us you felt uncomfortable with it, we would see that as your business.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So how much did he charge you for it????

The fact you are 21 and he is 30 and it was not talked about prior to shoot, yes, I have a problem with it.

Now if this was planned, different story.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Who ownes the rights to the photo(s)?

 

[VSL]

I think it sounds very tasteful and quite beautiful - kind of like an 'at one with nature' type of thing' (I'm 21 too though, and not a mother!). And, you're an adult and it sounds like you're good friends with this guy and you weren't uncomfortable during the shoot so I see no problem there.

I can understand that your parents (especially your dad) might feel uncomfortable with it though (I mean, they probably still see you as their little girl ) and they may not want it on display in their house.

Either way, it's great that you've got a picture of yourself that you love (I hate all pictures of me that have been taken!).

 

[daisyduck123]

To be honest, if you were my DD, I would have a problem with it. (and BTW, I'm forty-ish).

I'm just wondering why he couldn't have taken a photo of you with your top on that "takes your breath away".??

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I don't have a problem with it now. It sounds beutiful.
But, if you were to get married and have kids, I wouldn't want it hanging on the wall.
What can I tell you, I think far in advance

 

[lw49033]

I wish someone had ever asked me to take a picture with my shirt off!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I must have missed something. You were down taking pictures with the cherry blossoms, which means lots of people around, even first thing in the morning or in the evening, and "one thing leads to another" and you take your shirt off? I must have missed something. Where were you?

 

[Forevryoung]

I must have missed something. You were down taking pictures with the cherry blossoms, which means lots of people around, even first thing in the morning or in the evening, and "one thing leads to another" and you take your shirt off? I must have missed something. Where were you?

Ok I go to school very close to Washington DC (hence the cherry blossoms...). We went back to my apartment after dinner. No public nudity I am definitely not for that .

I'm just wondering why he couldn't have taken a photo of you with your top on that "takes your breath away".??

Oh there are many photos of me with clothes on that are beautiful. Have you ever seen a nude sculpture of a woman? It is very different then seeing a scupture of a woman with clothes on.

So how much did he charge you for it????

No charge... We spent the day taking pictures around DC (not just of me) and hanging out. The second part to the day wasn't planned... why does that matter more?

Who ownes the rights to the photo(s)?

My body, my photos. I will not be using them for commercial purposes I made that very clear. If he wants to use the pictures for something, (again, in almost every picture, you know I am shirtless but you cant see anything) I think I am comfortable enough with myself and see it more as an expression of beauty that I would let him.


And yes, the possible issue is that it is in my parent's home, in my bedroom. I have an apartment at school but I am graduating and I dont know where I am going in the fall (grad school). I spoke with my sister and she agreed with me that I should definitely display it. My Dad may be uncomfortable with the idea but my parents know and trust me that it should not be an issue. My family is pretty open about lots of stuff (our normal dinner table conversations would never occur in about 3/4 of homes ) In the future, I think it has a place on the wall in a bedroom even after I am married. I would never put it in the living room or something (nice conversation starter though )

Thanks everyone-

 

[Freyja]

I wouldn´t have a problem with it at all. I´m glad you like the pic, it sounds beautiful, and that´s all that counts.