Parents, what's your line for behavior in a food court?

[robinb]

I was at the mall yesterday and got a quick bite to eat. Now, I'm pretty relaxed when it comes to kids, particularly in a food court. However, there was one precious snowflake who was a total brat. The boy was about 5 or 6 and he was screaming, then running around, then going up to strangers and interrupting them / touching them / touching their things, and finally went back to his own table and started throwing food! When mom tried to discipline him he went back to screaming.

Wow. That behavior really seems out of the ordinary ... and I had a bratty 6-year old. I wonder if he had some problems other than being bratty. My nephew is autistic and might have done the same thing at six: running around, screaming, throwing food when because he became overstimulated. Not that it makes the behavior OK or that the mom is off the hook for disciplining him. There just might be another explanation than just a bratty child.

You can now return to your regularly scheduled "kids and parents these days!" rant thread .

 

[Topper]

I have taught me kids that a public place is NOT the place to play ..you need to act like you are in public period!!

How about a public park or playground?

 

[luvmy3]

How about a public park or playground?

No, no playing in public, ever

robinb, I never thought of that but you could be right. I don't want to excuse the behavior, but maybe there was something going on.
We were camping once and a family with an autistic little boy set up their tent next to us. At first I thought the kid was a demon spawn because he was so bad but later found out he was autistic. I felt horrible, for feeling that way and for the mom, she looked exhausted and like she really had just given up by th second day of chasing him and trying to get him to calm down. Luckily for the dad, it didn't take away from his all day fishing excursions

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

If this child is still behaving this way at age 5/6, those parents are in for a lifetime of grief. In my experience, the lessons of self-respect and respect for others are either learned early, or not at all...

 

[cheermom1]

How about a public park or playground?

LOL I didn't think of that...but still that was funny...

 

[Christine]

I think that type of behavior is most unusual for a child of 5 or 6 which is probably why none of us have experienced it. I'm betting the kid has some sort of autism or some other type of issue because a normal child of that age just wouldn't act that way.

Having said that, what do you do when you have a child with an issue who behaves so atrociously. I realize that you can't lock them up in the house forever but I do think that a parent of a child like that has to have *some* boundaries on what they will expose other people to. I think a crowded mall food court is a place that they need to opt out of.

Neither of my children were well behaved in the grocery store at ages 2-4 so when I figured that out, they just never went. I didn't want to discipline and shop for an hour and I didn't want other people to have listen to it.

 

[babytrees]

Wow. That behavior really seems out of the ordinary ... and I had a bratty 6-year old. I wonder if he had some problems other than being bratty. My nephew is autistic and might have done the same thing at six: running around, screaming, throwing food when because he became overstimulated. Not that it makes the behavior OK or that the mom is off the hook for disciplining him. There just might be another explanation than just a bratty child.

You can now return to your regularly scheduled "kids and parents these days!" rant thread .

I was thinking that it sounds like there was more than just bratty out of control kiddo but you never know anymore.

I will say I got lots of looks of disdain taking my then 3 year old screaming out of the mall because of similar behavior.....she wasn't going anywhere quietly. This mall had a play area and food court attached together...she didn't want to leave either one quietly. She quickly learned momma meant business!! Pregnant momma literally dragging preschooler out of mall...we must have been quite the sight.She learned her lesson and was quick to tell other kids that were misbehaving....be glad you not have my momma

 

[RangerPooh]

When my kids start to act up we throw our meal away and head to the car. I don't tolerate that behavior. They get talked to about their actions and the outing ends there. It's rude to let your child run a mucas like that.

 

[C.Ann]

I would not have made an issue of it - unless the child in question touched my food; was throwing food at me; was getting in my way in such a manner that I might trip; etc.. I would probably just go about eating - while saying a silent prayer that it wasn't MY child behaving like that..

As for what I would expect of a child that age in a food court - well - I would expect the same behavior that I would expect while eating at home or anywhere else.. My child would be sitting down - eating properly - and not causing a commotion..

 

[busyshrew]

A meeting in the restroom stall for a swift swat on the behind is what my child would have gotten. I have only had to do it once and now they know not to behave that way or they will get a meeting in the ladies room.

For a split second, I thought my mother had joined DISboards.....

 

[Robinrs]

I don't think you'll find anyone here disagreeing with you. It's all common sense.

Food court, traffic court, ANYWHERE. This is unacceptable behavior.

 

[tonilea]

Point and laugh. Hoping one of them would be embarassed enough to stop and/or leave.

 

[dollarmite]

Food court, traffic court, ANYWHERE. This is unacceptable behavior.

Definitely!

I just do not understand the notion that just because it's a McDonalds, Burger King or food court that this sort of behaviour is acceptable. It's not!

I don't care if it's a $1 soft drink in a fast food place, or a $100 meal in an exclusive restaurant, there is absolutely zero excuse to allow your child to behave in this manner and subject other people to it.

If the child has special needs there is still no excuse for not providing discipline. If a neurotypical child would be hauled out of the place and taken home, then so can a special needs child. The point is to not subject other people to such annoyances.

 

[wenrob]

I think that type of behavior is most unusual for a child of 5 or 6 which is probably why none of us have experienced it. I'm betting the kid has some sort of autism or some other type of issue because a normal child of that age just wouldn't act that way.

HA! You have never met my niece and nephew. My niece is 8yrs old and will not hesitate to have a SCREAMING, kicking, make your eyes pop out of your head melt down in public or anywhere else it suits her. The only thing wrong with her is my sister's refusal to do anything about it. My nephew is 15yrs old (yes, I said 15yrs old) and single handedly ruined my DD's birthday party. The only issues these kids have is my sister wanting to be the good guy and never expecting anything better from them.

I'll be honest I do not know much about autism or what it takes to handle a kid with autism but it seems to me if this were the case the mother in question at the very least would be trying to reign him in. The OP indicates she did next to nothing.

My eldest threw a fit in public once. I popped her little booty and she never did it again.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I just do not understand the notion that just because it's a McDonalds, Burger King or food court that this sort of behaviour is acceptable. It's not......

I don't care if it's a $1 soft drink in a fast food place, or a $100 meal in an exclusive restaurant.

WOW, I so agree!!!!
I am glad to see somebody actually say this.


I can remember the "An old lady was mean to my kid at McDonald's" thread....Somehow, on that one, most people thought that since it was JUST McDonald's, that the kids behavior was just normal and acceptable, and that the poor woman who just wanted to sit and eat without some kid getting into her purse, was in the wrong.... should have had to get up and move to another tables, gone thru the drive thru, etc....

But, then, a few weeks later with the "Kid in the sit down restaurant", all of the sudden the kids behavior was atrocious.

I totally agree with the above poster... My 3 feet of personal of space are MINE...

 

[luvmy3]

WOW, I so agree!!!!
I am glad to see somebody actually say this.


I can remember the "An old lady was mean to my kid at McDonald's" thread....Somehow, on that one, most people thought that since it was JUST McDonald's, that the kids behavior was just normal and acceptable, and that the poor woman who just wanted to sit and eat without some kid getting into her purse, was in the wrong.... should have had to get up and move to another tables, gone thru the drive thru, etc....

But, then, a few weeks later with the "Kid in the sit down restaurant", all of the sudden the kids behavior was atrocious.

I totally agree with the above poster... My 3 feet of personal of space are MINE...

The kid in the McD thread, poked a womans purse, tapped on a bench and asked the lady what her name was, hardly the same as running around screaming and throwing food.

Anyway, the people who allow their children to run around, scream and throw food are probably not discriminating when it comes to where its allowed, I'm guessing they allow it everywhere so it wouldn't matter if they were in a mall food court or Tavern On The Green.

 

[nikkistevej]

definitely unacceptable- if that kid would have touched my food though- the mom would have been buying me a new lunch!!

 

[smschex]

****Disclaimer - I am so not trying to start a debate****

I hate how the non-spankers judge the spankers. Honestly the wooden spoon is such a valuable tool for my DS. All I have to do is mention "the spoon" and he cleans up his act pronto. We don't hit him hard, just a quick swat on the bottom but boy is it effective for him.

I never have to yell at DS - we have clear expectations and consequences and it works for us.

My DSIL had a wooden spoon with my nephew--actually, I'm not sure she ever actually used it, but all you had to do was mention it and he would wail "No poon, no poon."

 

[robinb]

My DSIL had a wooden spoon with my nephew--actually, I'm not sure she ever actually used it, but all you had to do was mention it and he would wail "No poon, no poon."

Oh yeah. That's a riot.

 

[busyshrew]

For me a lot of it depends on the age of the child. Whenever I see parents with a child between 1 to 3 years, I just have sympathy. That's a really tough age to take children to restaurants. (I know, been there, done that). So I agree with the PPs that it's the age of the offending child that makes it more of a problem. At that age the child should have been taught better.

But I kind of disagree that the behaviour expected from your children would be exactly the same at a McD's or at a 4 star restaurant. We eat out a lot and that's just not the case for us. If we're in a place that puts your food on a tray or has a TV on the wall, well.... we don't raise our eyebrows too much if we see a bit of moving around from our DD in those places. But when we take our DD to white-tablecloth 3-fork places, then we expect our DD to be a much more formal in her manners (no eating with fingers!!) and there's far less tolerance for wiggles and interruptions.