Parents that don’t get it – “I want my kids to remember it ..”

[elaine amj]

We waited till they were the ages they were due to logistics and finances. But I am very glad we did! We are ALL about experiences as learning tools with our kids, but there are only so many times DS13 can look at me with surprise when I tell him that he has been up in the Sears Tower in Chicago, and to the theatre in Toronto, and swam in Lake Superior, and climbed the sand dunes in Sleeping Bear State Park, and has biked around Mackinac Island in Michigan, and has seen the mountains, oceans, and prairies because he was too young to remember any of it! I'm glad *I* was there for him to experience it, but he sure as heck doesn't remember any of it!!!! Sorry, but you could have an awesome story about hanging with your parents while they are catching a lion barehanded in the wilds of Africa, but if you have to add "...but I was so young that I don't remember any of it" to the end, it's a little on the anti-climatic side.

I was 18 when I went to Europe. I finally returned there this year. During planning, I was chatting with my mom and mentioned I needed to go to the Tower of London since we didn't go when I was 18. She was horrified since OF COURSE we had gone there. Just because I was "old enough to remember" doesn't mean I would.

We really like Disney, and I plan for my older son to go 4 times and my younger ones twice. Reasons we don't go often:
1) Finances: When kids are young, there is either daycare or mom not working (we have twins...our daycare bill was over $20k last year). So it would make more sense financially to go when they are school age
2) Vacation time: parents with younger children are often younger themselves and newer to a job PLUS we have to use our vacay for sick kids, etc. I work for a school system. I can only go at the most crowded, expensive, and/or hot times of year (much harder with toddlers)
3) The kids don't care...really...we spent $1000 and lots of man hours on a playground. When we go outside, my toddlers just stare at the $10 Elmo bubble machine for an hour screaming "Elmo" "bubble" Seriously. EVERYTHING is magical at 17 months old.
4) As my oldest son gets older, I realize there are other vacations I'd love to take with them
.

I agree

Oh, that's simple. I don't want to have to deal with the hassle involved in taking a stroller, a child still in diapers, a diaper bag, change of clothes, etc., to the most crowded vacation destination in the western hemisphere.

Because a two year old would be as happy on a sandy beach as he or she would be at WDW, only with a smaller price tag and less people.

And since he/she isn't going to remember it anyway, why bother with all of that?

Exactly.

At age newborn - 3 or 4, I took my kids where *I* wanted to go. They'd pretty much have fun anywhere and everywhere. Granted Disney is well set up for young children, but at that time, Disney was not where *I* wanted to go.

Other reason is the inflated idea of costs.
Not knowing much, my general impression was always that WDW was a super expensive vacation. I went 2x as a kid as most people I knew only went 1x or 2x in their childhood. My SIL went frequently, loving it - I thought she was weird. I never thought of asking her for cost though. I remember asking someone else once when my kids were 4 or 5 and was told something around $10K for a week. That's a LOT of money.

I remember thinking, for that much money, I will wait until they are "old enough" to do all the rides. We'd go 1x and that's it. So many cheaper vacations elsewhere. I know better now and we do Disney for about $3K, which is much more manageable.

Young families also often have more limited budgets. As you progress in your career, you often have more disposable income.

Do I regret it?

You betcha! I wish I knew back then how much we would love WDW. We went when my kids were 8/9 and they were old enough to know characters were not real. We definitely missed an element of magic.

BUT - if we were more "normal" and only did WDW 1x in a childhood, it was the perfect age to take them as they could do most of the rides.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I first went as an adult and DS was 3. He was still in a stroller, no diapers but he HAD to nap or life was over for us if he wasn't rested.

We went back when he was 8 and DD was 2. She of course was still in diapers and a stroller. She wasn't a crucial napper and could go the day at the parks pretty well.

Went again at 9 and 3. Still a stroller.

Went at 11 and 5. No stroller, no diapers, no naps.

If I ever have more children I won't take a stroller child or a child still in diapers. For myself it was exhausting. The last trip we took I had so much more energy since I wasn't lugging around a stroller or diaper bag. DD remembers it very well and she was still in the magic.

So for me it's not about remembering, it's more about sanity. I don't ever want to deal with strollers, diapers, bottles (although we never had to deal with this on our trips. I personally would never take a nursing or bottlefed infant) or nap time. We take midday breaks but I don't want to be tied to a nap schedule.

Our plan is to go every 2-3 years starting next year. A baby may be in the plan so we will have to work around that.

I can only see myself taking a stroller child would be maybe a day trip. If we are in Florida for a beach vacation and stop into the MK for a day. But not a 7-10 day onsite WDW vacation.

 

[PrincessKimmy]

I was one of the fortunate ones who got to go to Disney multiple times as a kid, from the age of 11 to 18. My youngest sister was 2 when we went the first time, and she loved it so much then that it really was the inspiration for me and DH taking our son last year at 22 months. And really, this is the reason why we did it:

He may never remember how real those big plushy characters were to him, BUT I ALWAYS WILL!!!

I love that picture. I have a similar picture of my niece at age 4 at chief Mickey's meeting Mickey and she's clasping her hands together and the expression on her face is pure excitement, innocence and magic. That picture makes it sooo worth it. The memories of taking my babies to Disney are just as much for me as anything else.

 

[ktlm]

I think DD's 2 year old first trip was my favorite. I would never give up this:


The 1st thing she did on the first day after entering MK- total joy:



Taken just after a full performance of "A Dream is a Wish" for Cinderella standing in front of her with her hands clasped like an opera singer. We were the last in line for the evening and everyone else in the room with the other princesses stopped what they were doing and listened. We knew then for the first time, that she was going to be a little performer:



Saying goodby to the Princesses on our last night a few minutes later:



I feel sorry for the parents who don't get a chance to take a trip when their kids are under 5. I see them as really missing out on some amazing moments and times. On our last trip when DD was 7, I was kind of jealous watching the families with the under 5 group, because it is just a different trip for them. Once the kids hit kindergarten they already start becoming jaded by things the kids in their class say. They still love WDW, but it isn't like everything was absolutely totally real like it is when they are younger. There is just a different kind of special magic that comes with taking a 2 to 5 year old to WDW.

It also cracks me up when people say that they won't take the little ones because they can't ride the big rides. There is no guarantee that when they are 7 or even 10 that you will get them on the big rides. DD (8) is not much of a thrill seeker. She won't set foot on RNRC or TOT. We got her on EE when she was 7, and she hated it. She has hated BTMR from the time she first rode it at age 3 or 4. She has been on it a couple of times since and her opinion hasn't changed.

I also don't get the whole, "I don't want to take them until they remember". So- does Santa Claus not come to your house when they are little because they won't remember? Do you not ever go on vacation because they won't remember? Even if they don't remember- YOU will remember! Plus, DD at age 8, still remembers specific things from her 2 year old trip. Plus, who is to say they are going to remember the specifics of their 8 year old or 10 year old trip when they are 30?

At least for us, WDW was the absolute easiest trip to take when DD was pre-school age. We didn't have to get somewhere and try to plan certain things to do, figure out what would be fun for her etc. Everything was right there. We could fly there, they would take us to the resort, take us anywhere we wanted to go on property, there were things to entertain the pre-school age group everywhere you went, and when you were done they would take you back to the airport. It was perfect. We actually also found that the stroller made it easy- although folding on the buses could be a pain. If you are in a hurry, you can throw the kid in a stroller and move it at an adult pace- at age 6 and 7, they don't always move as fast as you want. Also- if kid is tired or sleepy and you want to keep doing things- you throw kid in a stroller and they go to sleep and the grown ups keep going.

I can see it for a once in a lifetime trip, but for people that plan on going more than once, those pre-school trips can be incredible. People who don't go are really missing out. Now, I will say that I have a friend whose child has always been scared of everything- and especially characters- and even at age 6, if you take her to Chuck E. Cheese and the mouse comes out, she is cowering under a table shaking ---that is a family who has absolutely made the right choice not to go to Disney until she is much older!

 

[JoAnna525]

Hmmm...well, I have to admit, I don't "get" the judgmental tone toward people who DON'T want to take their very young children to Disney. It's a personal preference. I mean, I can understand being upset if someone is coming down on YOU for YOUR decision to take your small child. But I just don't understand being unhappy about other people's choice to wait.

Ugh, I hope my post didn't come off as judgmental - mine was more of a response to my father in law who continues to openly wonder why we "waste" our Disney trips on a kid who "won't remember" the trip. It is completely understandable that Disney may be a one-time-only thing for any number of reasons. I just loved Disney so much as a kid (even as an older teen!) that I can't imagine denying the fun of it from my boy!

 

[GenevieveRaqs]

Ugh, I hope my post didn't come off as judgmental - mine was more of a response to my father in law who continues to openly wonder why we "waste" our Disney trips on a kid who "won't remember" the trip. It is completely understandable that Disney may be a one-time-only thing for any number of reasons. I just loved Disney so much as a kid (even as an older teen!) that I can't imagine denying the fun of it from my boy!

No, I wasn't referring to your post at all, JoAnna. (And your little one is adorable, by the way.) But the OP's tone did strike me as very judgmental. I simply don't think anyone is "depriving" their child by waiting to take them to Disney, whether it is a once-in-a-lifetime trip or not. I don't even think children are deprived if they NEVER get to go, and I don't understand being bothered by other people's vacation choices.

I also think that people extrapolating to things like not having Santa or not taking other vacations "because they won't remember" are really reaching for an argument. There were lots of things we did (and do) with our son just because we all enjoyed it "in the moment." But none of those things cost us multiple thousands of dollars or required long-distance travel with a very small child.

 

[CalSea12]

Honestly I couldn't even finish this thread without giving my two cents!

A. I went when I was a kid, I remember a lot from when I was 3-4 years old. I hold those memories very close to my heart. My family also went a lot so I have soo many memories.

B. I just brought my daughter at 20 months, she did amazing! Not a cranky child to be found, but very happy. The look on her face when she saw Mickey for the first time, filled my heart with joy. She is 2.5 now and begging to go back, which she will in October.

We are a family that goes at least once a year because we hate camping, beaches, etc. just not for us. We will cruise, go to WDW, or go overseas. All of which I will do when my kids are young.

I guess if WDW is a one and done thing, yea wait until your kids are older, but dont use the "they wont remember" because its not really true.

 

[Juliet25]

I can see why people wait. My kids have been to WDW multiple times since they were 1. On our last trip, my middle DD was 4 and doesn't remember anything but the long ride down, . I don't consider it a wasted vacation since we go frequently enough, but if we were the "once in a lifetime" WDW tourists, it doesn't make sense not to wait a bit.

I have friends who recently took their 4 year old on a Mediterranean cruise. I can't think of a bigger waste of money, particularly since they're drowning in debt despite their high salaries. If I were to take my kids on a trip that costs $10K on the low side, they sure as heck better remember it to make it worthwhile.

 

[awalker1015]

Ultimately I can't imagine why this would ever even be a debate. Parents who choose to wait are not "depriving" their children of anything. Parents who choose not to wait aren't overindulging. Everything works differently for different families. We didn't travel anywhere before my kids were 4-5 (except holidays to see family) because they were so difficult - didn't sleep, ate poorly, couldn't adjust, etc. It was way more work and disruption than I was prepared to bring on myself, not a result of a negative personal childhood experience. Our friends' children, however, have traveled extensively since birth and do wonderfully in any setting. Again, different situations work for different families.

The tone of the original post came across somewhat inflammatory to me and a setup for an argument.

 

[kiramay]

I have chose to NOT read all the threads, but I agree with the recent ones that there's no right or wrong.

Our first big trip was Pensacola (2 day drive) with a 1 year old and twin 6 year olds. Second trip (Disney) the kids were 7 and 2. Honestly, if I'd known how easy it was I would have taken the twins on at one trip before my youngest was born. Next trip they're 9 and 4. And in 2018 it'll be their 3rd trip to WDW. (Other places planned in other years.) And I'm sure there'll be more too.

My brother and his family are planning only 1 trip to Disney world, so they're waiting for their kids to be older for the "once in a lifetime" trip. I completely understand.

I don't judge them, they don't judge me.

 

[Lolsmum]

Ultimately I can't imagine why this would ever even be a debate. Parents who choose to wait are not "depriving" their children of anything. Parents who choose not to wait aren't overindulging. Everything works differently for different families. We didn't travel anywhere before my kids were 4-5 (except holidays to see family) because they were so difficult - didn't sleep, ate poorly, couldn't adjust, etc. It was way more work and disruption than I was prepared to bring on myself, not a result of a negative personal childhood experience. Our friends' children, however, have traveled extensively since birth and do wonderfully in any setting. Again, different situations work for different families. The tone of the original post came across somewhat inflammatory to me and a setup for an argument.

Exactly.

My children were not deprived by waiting until 5 and 6 to go to WDW. No one else's children were abused by being taken as babies. Why on earth this is a debate is beyond me, but what truly astounds me is the apparent inability to see the other side some people have.

 

[CalSea12]

For me like I said, I think to each their own, but I also agree that everyone should be accepting of others opinions and not be rude. I honestly can not count the numerous dirty stares I got when I brought my 2 year old to WDW last November. Mainly from couples with out kids, or families with older children.

Now I am not saying that to cause issues, but it really upset me. This also doesn't just hold true to WDW but lots of places in society that people feel young children just don't belong, like movie theaters. I bring my 2 year old to the theater all the time, and people are so shocked by how well behaved she is, but also give us dirty stares before the movie.

It seems I hear a lot of this is just for kids, or why are you bringing someone so young? In all reality, unless there is a true age requirement then it is for everyone. Sorry tangent over.

 

[Feberin]

Exactly.

My children were not deprived by waiting until 5 and 6 to go to WDW. No one else's children were abused by being taken as babies. Why on earth this is a debate is beyond me, but what truly astounds me is the apparent inability to see the other side some people have.

I agree but I think when you get a lot of attitude from others about your choice then you tend to get defensive and criticize the alternative. I also don't think 5 and 6 are "too" old. I feel like that's more waiting until they're teenagers. However I agree nobody is being deprived even if they never get to go to WDW at all. It's not a requirement for a happy childhood.

 

[jjl]

Disney is for everyone any age any size any colour everyone! Lucky people who go more than once in a lifetime must still treat it as a once in a lifetime trip and really appreciate it just the same. I have been lucky enough to go more than once and probably wont get to go again unfortunately but I will always be thankful for everthing disney!

 

[jodifla]

It's definitely an expense thing in my book. If you can only really go once or twice, waiting until they are a bit older makes sense. (Some people wait too long in my book, though.)

However growing up in Florida, we went all the time. It was a 90 minute drive from my house. So when my son was born, I knew he'd start going as an infant. (drive was about 3 hours then.) We own DVC, we could drive, bring our food, buy Fla. resident passes. So the expense for us was pretty minimal, actually, and a fabulous long weekend. we did about 3 times a year in addition to a full week.

I remember my son as a toddler chasing around the lights in the concrete at Epcot, and his expression as an infant on it's a small world. Priceless.

At 12, it remains his favorite place.

 

[lelalittlelegs]

I am from England and was lucky enough to go to DisneyLand and DisneyWorld as a kid and have been to DisneylandParis multiple times over the years. As has my 5 year old Daughter. We've also cruised with Disney and are again in August so I assure you that I am a fan of the mouse but as someone who worked for an airline and was lucky enough to travel this amazing planet extensively (and who also stomped all over Europe growing up) - there is a WHOLE world out there waiting for you. Disney is amazing and truly magical...but it is not the be-all and end-all of vacations. Having said all that, what anyone else chooses to do with their money and time and family is their business. As long as you don't tell me that I'm wrong for taking my daughter to see the Pyramids or the Taj Mahal then I won't tell you that you're wrong for not thinking beyond Disney or for thinking that your child will be scarred for life if they didn't go before their 5th birthday.

Your family, your time, your money, your choice. And honestly, no one cares whether your kid has been once or 6718 times to Disney. Or whether they were 3 weeks old or 13 years old. Their memories are theirs, not yours. It's not a competition. It's called life. Live it and do what makes you happy.

 

[CalSea12]

It's definitely an expense thing in my book. If you can only really go once or twice, waiting until they are a bit older makes sense. (Some people wait too long in my book, though.)

However growing up in Florida, we went all the time. It was a 90 minute drive from my house. So when my son was born, I knew he'd start going as an infant. (drive was about 3 hours then.) We own DVC, we could drive, bring our food, buy Fla. resident passes. So the expense for us was pretty minimal, actually, and a fabulous long weekend. we did about 3 times a year in addition to a full week.

I remember my son as a toddler chasing around the lights in the concrete at Epcot, and his expression as an infant on it's a small world. Priceless.

At 12, it remains his favorite place.

The last trip we went on was my DD first trip, she was turning 2 and I think that its a small world was her favorite ride. We rode several times, and she kept pointing to the dolls saying "its a baby" the whole ride. Just that little memory brought tears to my eyes, because she was so happy and those dolls were real it her, it was magical.

 

[4leobeans]

We went on a trip to Atlantis (Bahamas) when our ODD was 22 months. There, we swam with dolphins, played on the beach, fed parrots and other things. Does she remember....nope, nothing.
She even has a stuffed dolphin named after the one we swam with. She knows its name, but no longer remembers why its named Jill.
She's 6 now. She remembered the trip for several months, but no longer. Do we regret it....nope. It was great fun, and a wonderful trip....plus, one thing no one is mentioning....she was free. Free to fly and stay ...part of the reason we went when we did

We went to Disney last year for her 5th birthday. We also took along her 2.5 yo sister and grandparents. Even our little one remembers some of that trip. We have photos that we regularly look at, and it was a wonderful time that the grandparents regularly refer to. It was great for us as her parents to experience, and truthfully, an easy trip....she was very well behaved. Days were full, but at the girls' pace, and we did what they wanted....haunted mansion 4 times in a row...okay
And, not to sound like a (cheap) broken record, but the trip was pretty affordable, especially since our youngest was free at Disney...no tickets, hotels or meal costs

I think whatever works for each family is really a personal choice. And, as long as it's not affecting anyone else, it really shouldn't be anyone else's concern

 

[BrerTom]

My wife and I have been before having kids, we went when my first was 20 months and when my second was born we went at age at 8 weeks. We don't go just because we want our kids to remember it. We go because we enjoy it. We don't try to cram every last minute of the day with rides and attractions. I say this because if you go with young kids it should not be your mission to do rope drop to fireworks and expect your 2 year old to have a happy memory. We love spending early morning through lunch in the park and then spending down time recharging. If the kids are up for it we go back, if not there is always tomorrow. If you are a "disney" family then you understand this - yes you make sacrifices to go more frequently but this is your choice (and ours). If you don't want to make your vacations all about the mouse and this is a once in a life time trip then definitely wait until your kids are school aged so that you can maximize the experience.

 

[PumpernickelTickle]

Why does anybody care what other people think anyway?

What's with the need for other people's approval?

Make your decision and be happy with it and disregard what other people think (unless they're paying for it, then they have a right to have an opinion)