Parents, Stop Giving In To 'Picky Eaters'!

[monkeybug]

I think I morphed into a picky eater as an adult. As I child there were certainly things I didn't want to eat and didn't eat but I was a very adventurous eater. Nowadays my DH jokes that all I eat is is "bread, dessert and corn".. which is actually true.. . It's terrible. For reasons I can't explain, just nothing else sounds good to me.

OP- I agree. Giving into picky eaters typically is just creating a life style of picky eating for them. Although my situation isn't quite the same, I wish I wasn't picky!

My friend makes something you would love!!! She makes CORN BREAD (two of your favs. right there!) by combining cornbread mix and a CAKE mix.
You could have dessert, corn, and bread all in one!!!!
It is actually very tasty, not exactly healthy of course, but tasty!!!

 

[lizandjason]

Why would it bother you? I see your 2 cats in your signature so I'm guessing you don't have kids. It's pretty typical of those who don't have kids to try to tell those who do how best to raise them.
QUOTE]

No need to be so rude. You have no idea what my situation is or who I am. Would it be so hard for you to share your own thoughts without shooting me down? Very immature.

 

[monkeybug]

But I actually have children! And as a parent, I'm around children all of the time. Before I had children, I also assumed that picky eaters were the way they were because of their parents. Then I gave birth to some. My picky eaters did not just eat junk, but did have limited food items that they would eat. I was really surprised, because DH and I will literally eat anything. I truly believe it is a physical thing, and as they get older, I see them finally growing out of it. I also think some kids do have sensory issues - my poor sister was flamed for posting a youtube video of her dd trying to eat a potato, as she was crying and gagging. My sister has now learned her dd has sensory issues.

But I actually have children too!!! And have worked in education (preschool teacher to be exact) and am around children all the time too!! And we have completely different experiences.
The OP might not have her own kids, but that certainly doesn't mean she doesn't know anything about them. When we have kids we become experts on our own kids, but our kids can be completely different from most, being a parent certainly doesn't make anyone an expert on kids in general. I mean there are some pretty bad parents out there.
My daughters kindergarten teacher didn't have kids, but I trusted her judgment as some what of an "expert" on kids of that age. She was around some of those kids more than the parents were. I don't think it's fair to discount someones opinion based solely on the fact that they don't have their own kids.
And I think it's safe to say that the topic here isn't kids with medical problems, like sensory issues, but with parents that cater to children with no medical problems that would cause food aversions.

 

[Rora]

My friend makes something you would love!!! She makes CORN BREAD (two of your favs. right there!) by combining cornbread mix and a CAKE mix.
You could have dessert, corn, and bread all in one!!!!
It is actually very tasty, not exactly healthy of course, but tasty!!!

Sounds perfect!!!!

Yeah.. I need to get back in shape, pronto.

 

[robinb]

I'd love your opinions!

My opinion? I too knew a whole hell of a lot more about parenting when I was the just "parent" of two cats like yourself than when I finally became the parent of a real child.

 

[lillygator]

My opinion? I too knew a whole hell of a lot more about parenting when I was the just "parent" of two cats like yourself than when I finally became the parent of a real child.

yep things sure change when you actually become a parent.

 

[jillyb]

I have kids and I totally agree with this. I tell them "you eat what I fix or do without". Guess what? They decide to eat it. I also tell them I'm not a short order cook.

 

[lizandjason]

Why would it bother you? I see your 2 cats in your signature so I'm guessing you don't have kids. It's pretty typical of those who don't have kids to try to tell those who do how best to raise them.
One of my sons loved vegetables and disliked meat, the other son was just the opposite. Today, they're grown men and both eat everything. When I was a child a teacher forced me to eat beets because they were good for me. I still will not eat them today.

I'm interested in the well-being of society. I don't have to have kids to care about how other people's kids are being treated. I appreciate all of the other people who have respectfully disagreed with me.

And my cats are awesome, thankyouverymuch...they don't talk back to me and I don't have to pay for their college tuition. But thanks for your two cents.

 

[lizandjason]

My opinion? I too knew a whole hell of a lot more about parenting when I was the just "parent" of two cats like yourself than when I finally became the parent of a real child.

I hope your beautiful daughter doesn't inherit your nasty demeanor. My god.

 

[TN Hockey Mom]

First and foremost, why is it anyone's business what my picky eater eats??? I don't ask you to "give in" to him, so don't worry about it! I'll take care of making sure he has what he likes to eat.

The main thing I've learned since having my youngest son is to not judge anyone based on the way they deal with their children. If I see a parent yelling at a child, spanking a child, getting frustrated with a child or planning meals based on a picky eater I usually look the other way (unless its blatant child abuse). I have been in their shoes and totally understand.

My 9 year old son is a very picky eater (he'll only eat chicken shaped like a nugget, not even a tender, he won't eat mac-n-cheese if it has shredded cheese sprinkled on the top of it, if he gets an ice cream sundae and it has whipped topping and/or a cherry on it we can't scrape it off, he has to have another one without that stuff ever being put on it, I could go on & on). I don't encourage this behavior and I try to get him to try different things but I don't force him. There are many things I won't try. He does get more adventurous as he gets older so we just give him time.

We don't cook extra meals for him and we don't avoid restaurants because they don't have anything he likes. If he doesn't like what we cook he's welcome to fix himself something out of the pantry or freezer. If a restaurant doesn't have anything he'll eat we take him something with us or he sits and watches us eat (he has to behave and he either eats before or after we eat at the restaurant).

For anyone that thinks it's our fault and we need to make him try different things, I welcome you to come spend 24 hours with us and have you try to get him to eat different things! Even the pediatrician told us to just let him eat what he likes. He's very healthy and not an ounce over weight.

I do think you need to have children before you state what you will and will not do! My sister, like the OP, didn't think that mattered until she had children of her own. Now that she has 2 year old twin boys she's eating alot of her own words, however, she admits it!

ETA: I also have an 11 year old son, raised the same way in the same house, who will try almost anything.

 

[LuvLDM]

My opinion? I too knew a whole hell of a lot more about parenting when I was the just "parent" of two cats like yourself than when I finally became the parent of a real child.

Well, I'm the parent of three "real" children and I agree w/ the Op.
......and honestly the cat references are really childish.

 

[stacy347]

DH and I watched a very interesting program on PBS on this exact topic.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sciencenow/0404/01.html

Regardless of your opinion on how kids should eat, this explains a lot about why some kids take to veggies and others gag when they are forced to eat them.

Personally, after being forced to gag down many foods at the dinner table and remembering VIVIDLY having to force myself not to be sick at the table, it isn't something I would subject my own kids to. There are perfectly healthy alternatives to spinach and beets (or whatever any given child may have an aversion to).

 

[lizandjason]

We don't cook extra meals for him and we don't avoid restaurants because they don't have anything he likes. If he doesn't like what we cook he's welcome to fix himself something out of the pantry or freezer. If a restaurant doesn't have anything he'll eat we take him something with us or he sits and watches us eat (he has to behave and he either eats before or after we eat at the restaurant).

I do think you need to have children before you state what you will and will not do! My sister, like the OP, didn't think that mattered until she had children of her own. Now that she has 2 year old twin boys she's eating alot of her own words, however, she admits it!

You don't realize it...because like so many others you immediately jumped on the defense...but you're not the parent I was describing in my original post. I wish some of you would take a minute to actually consider what I was saying.

 

[lizandjason]

Well, I'm the parent of three "real" children and I agree w/ the Op.
......and honestly the cat references are really childish.

THANK YOU, thank you thank you!You get a dancing banana.

 

[monkeybug]

yep things sure change when you actually become a parent.

I agree, but come on! There are some things you don't need to be a parent to understand.
I knew beating kids probably wasn't a good parenting technique before I had kids.
I knew more books and less TV was likely a good idea.
And I knew that ramen, chicken nuggets, soda, and mac and cheese from a box, don't equal a healthy diet for ANYONE especially a child!!
And the first thing I learned when I had kids, is that having a kid doesn't mean you are suddenly bestowed with all the knowledge on the best way to raise that kid, and unless you seek it out with an open mind, you many never find it! I will say that I've received wonderful tips and information from people with no kids. You don't have to be a parent to know what's best in a particular situation, and sometimes we parents don't know what's best. I'm glad I've had all sorts of people to guide me along the way.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I'm a mom to 2 autistic kids. Autistic kids are well known in their picky-eating ways. But I rarely make 2 meals to accomodate them. I serve their plates with what I have made for dinner. I make them eat one bite. Sometimes they make a face like they want to puke. The only thing I don't make them try is pasta. They will definitely throw that up. I think it is the texture of the food rather than the taste. But at least I get them to try most foods. Sometimes, they will only eat one bite of dinner, but they aren't starving. I do worry about their health, but the pediatrician says they will eat when they are hungry. She just said to make sure they have a vitamin every day.

 

[Sparx]

I think that its a good thing for the child to encourage new foods, and if worst comes to worst, create rules against mac and cheese and chicken nuggets all the time. Kids aren't born with self control or an understanding of nutrition, its an adults job to teach them to make proper food choices and not just give in to whatever they want. Food is a lifelong need, and it can keep you alive, or it can kill you. I think if healthy relationships with food were encouraged from birth, the obesity rate wouldn't be a quarter of what it is.

 

[Planogirl]

Our 17 year old became pickier as he got older. I did cater to him a little but only a little. I recognize that just like me that there are certain things that he simply doesn't like and I respect that. He will eat healthy food though and that's what matters.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

I have a nephew who is a "picky eater," and his parents give in to him non-stop. They are constantly giving excuses to everyone about it, too.

"Oh, don't even try to get him to eat something else."
"If it isn't a hot dog, or bread, he won't eat it."

The funny thing is when we have babysat for them, he's eaten everything we've given him. Veggies, chicken, you name it, he's eaten it for us.

I really think the fact that his parents just "give in" all the time is the problem. I can definitely see what the OP is getting at. It's just tough to lump all kids into the same category, though. Some kids really do have aversions to some foods.

 

[TN Hockey Mom]

You don't realize it...because like so many others you immediately jumped on the defense...but you're not the parent I was describing in my original post. I wish some of you would take a minute to actually consider what I was saying.

I get what you're saying and I think I am the type of parent you're talking about. While we don't avoid places because of him, I will get him something else to his liking.

We were recently at a dinner show in Pigeon Forge, TN. They served chicken tenders, corn, green beans and chocolate pudding with whipped topping and a cherry on top. He wouldn't touch any of it. I didn't force him. I quietly told him that was fine but he would have to remain hungry until after the show because there were no other choices until we left. He pouted and told me he was hungry then. To avoid a huge scene I sent my husband to buy him a $6 light up toy to occupy him while the rest of us enjoyed the show and our meal. By the rest of us, I also mean all of the people around us. We were sitting at a table with another couple and the lady politely told me that I was ruining him and I politely told her it was none of her business! The way we handled the situation did not concern her at all. If anything, it only made her experience more enjoyable!