Parents, Stop Giving In To 'Picky Eaters'!

[golfgal]

A picky eater is when a parent has to prepare special food for a child (medical conditions not withstanding). My niece is the classic example of a picky eater. She would eat:

1. bread
2. pasta with butter
3. peanut butter/jelly sandwiches but the peanut butter had to be on the top half of the bread, the APRICOT ONLY jelly on the bottom half and they could not touch so there had to be a space between the two.

end of list.

Not liking foods is one thing--I prefer peperoni pizza and I am not a fan of one with everything but if that is what is there I will eat it. I won't eat fish or seafood. I have tried it all, just don't like it. I don't consider myself picky at all. I just know what I don't like. I eat pretty much everything but fish/seafood. My stomach can't deal with spicy food-I like it, just have to be careful.

 

[punkin]

Let us not forget that kids also go through "stages". My DD(now 17) had 6 months when she would eat practically nothing but avocados and chicken soup. She had not been a picky eater before (this was around age 2 or 3) and she snapped out of it at some point and eats pretty much everything now.

 

[Christine]

A picky eater is when a parent has to prepare special food for a child (medical conditions not withstanding). My niece is the classic example of a picky eater. She would eat:

1. bread
2. pasta with butter
3. peanut butter/jelly sandwiches but the peanut butter had to be on the top half of the bread, the APRICOT ONLY jelly on the bottom half and they could not touch so there had to be a space between the two.

end of list.

Not liking foods is one thing--I prefer peperoni pizza and I am not a fan of one with everything but if that is what is there I will eat it. I won't eat fish or seafood. I have tried it all, just don't like it. I don't consider myself picky at all. I just know what I don't like. I eat pretty much everything but fish/seafood. My stomach can't deal with spicy food-I like it, just have to be careful.

Agreed.

My cousin can be picky but I don't put her into full-fledged pickiness.

She won't eat:
Anything yellow (unless it frosting on a cake)
No eggs
No mayo
No cheese
No onions

But she eats any kind of seafood, meat (venison, buffalo), etc., most veggies, doesn't have a problem in restaurants or at people's homes. So I don't consider that picky. Sure she's pickier about things than me, but not overly difficult.

 

[Christine]

Let us not forget that kids also go through "stages". My DD(now 17) had 6 months when she would eat practically nothing but avocados and chicken soup. She had not been a picky eater before (this was around age 2 or 3) and she snapped out of it at some point and eats pretty much everything now.

I think that's true.

I think it is really common for kids between ages 2 and 5 to dislike the texture of meat and they don't eat a lot of it. I see that over and over again. I think, though, that once you of school age and you will only eat 5-10 things over and over, there's an issue.

 

[MushyMushy]

I had a very, very picky eater. I read a parenting book that said fighting over food was not a good thing.

So I didnt force him to eat the pizza with everything when he wanted ONLY A PEPPERONI pizza (this was a battle My Mom and I had and punished my son by not giving him dessert the LAST time she ever babysat for me)

He loved mac and cheese and chicken nuggets and burgers. Picky

He's grown and eats the most exotic "over the top " foods of all ethnic cooking imaginable. But I would not force him to "just try the brussesl sprouts" when he was little

Same here. There was a spell where my son only wanted to eat Bagel Bites, or another time only wanted to eat Chef Boyardee crap. I was NOT going to get into a power struggle with him, and believe me, it would have been WW III. He's like your son now. He'll eat anything, including sushi. He doesn't have an ounce of fat on him either.

I just don't believe in fighting with kids over food.

 

[luvmy3]

I think that's true.

I think it is really common for kids between ages 2 and 5 to dislike the texture of meat and they don't eat a lot of it. I see that over and over again. I think, though, that once you of school age and you will only eat 5-10 things over and over, there's an issue.

Unless their ped. says there's an issue it really doesn't matter. I know a few kids who do only eat from a list of 5-10 foods, they are healthy and growing and their ped has no problem with the lack of variety as long as they are getting the right kinds of foods. Its only an issue, if the foods they eat are fast food and junk foods. There are different levels of pickiness and different levels of catering to, kids and parents can be on the extreme or somewhere in the middle.

 

[cabanafrau]

DH and I just had this discussion the other day. I brought up the subject after a conversation w/ a friend & her adult, about-to-be married daughter in which my friend commented how she had raised her kids not to like X, Y, Z -- same as herself, but to like A,B,C -- once again, the same as herself. I mean this in the sense of it was a deliberate parenting strategy.

We have another group of friends, about 1/2 a dozen families w/ anywhere from one to three kids in each family. Aside from our two, only one other kid in the group has a wide-ranging palate. One family has a son heading to HS next year -- still eating a toddler-type asst. of foods -- but only a specific variety/brand of those foods at that. Pizza can only be from one place -- luckily it's a chain. Chicken tenders can only be from one fast food chain. Mac N' Cheese is only one brand. That is literally what he eats, every day. Certain cookies are okay. Graham Crackers & candy are in there too. Absolutely no fruits, no veggies. Did I mention he's well over six feet -- WELL over! Won't even tell you what happened when he had to go on a school trip five hours away last year, it's too incredible to be believed.

Another family exists on pre-made, processed frozen foods for dinner. Single, working mom, kids in multiple activities. I get it. Grueling schedule. They do eat some fruits -- grapes & if they want to get exotic, occasionally an apple. I've gotten the younger child to try a pear slice -- it was "okay", and some pasta dishes I make -- those were "sooo good".

Don't get me wrong, these are nice families w/ awesome parents. Just don't get the complete lack of fruits/veggies, the all processed garbage & zero variety in the food selections. It's kind of like going to Disney. The food can taste yummy in the moment, for a day, maybe two. Looking at the menus, tasting the food, you realize the ribs are ribs all across the resort -- pre-made, processed, merely heated at the restaurant, not cooked for your order. Pretty much the same w/ most foods offered there, pre-made in some larger kitchen somewhere, spiced/sauced according to whatever restaurant it's headed for, then warmed to serve when you order.

 

[mhsjax]

Agreed.

My cousin can be picky but I don't put her into full-fledged pickiness.

She won't eat:
Anything yellow (unless it frosting on a cake)
No eggs
No mayo
No cheese
No onions

But she eats any kind of seafood, meat (venison, buffalo), etc., most veggies, doesn't have a problem in restaurants or at people's homes. So I don't consider that picky. Sure she's pickier about things than me, but not overly difficult.

This is not my definition of picky at all. We all have things that we don't like or don't care for. To me, picky is what golfgal described. Wehn you have only a few foods (usually junk) and they won't touch anything else.

 

[MsLeFever]

3. peanut butter/jelly sandwiches but the peanut butter had to be on the top half of the bread, the APRICOT ONLY jelly on the bottom half and they could not touch so there had to be a space between the two.
.

I'm interested - how do you make a sandwich and not have the top and bottom touch??

 

[Kit'smommy]

Most children like what is familiar to them. It amazes me that parents give up as quickly as they do with a new food. We have a rule that our son has to try everything we put on the table at least three times. He just has to take one little bite on three different occasions. If he still doesn't like it on the third occasion, he doesn't have to try it again unless he decides to test it on his own.

He eats nearly everything but fish, whole berry cranberry sauce and blackeyed peas.

There are many foods that I don't like, so it is fine with me if my son has preferences. But he is not allowed to say anything is yucky or not at least give it a fair shot.

 

[cheermom1]

I'm interested - how do you make a sandwich and not have the top and bottom touch??

LOL I was wondering the same thing. Could you please explain so we can get a image of how it is done. Please!!!

 

[monkeybug]

I don't fight over food with my kids, but they don't have an opportunity to be picky.
At my house you have to try two bites, if you don't like it you don't eat it, but guess what? That's it until the next meal or snack!
I only keep food in the house that I'm OK with my kids eating, and none of it is restricted. There's never been a fight over food in my house, that's just the way it is, and my kids don't know any different.
The only exception is that if I make something spicy, then I will make a tamer dish for my kids.
The only way my kids are picky is that they are so used to home made food, they complain about processed. They won't eat boxed macaroni and cheese or spaghetti o's (I tried during a snowstorm with trader joes brand), they don't like boxed cookies, and they don't like frozen nuggets or pizza. I don't blame them, I prefer the home made version too!

 

[golfgal]

I'm interested - how do you make a sandwich and not have the top and bottom touch??

I suppose "sandwich" is a "strong" word. Basically two pieces of bread, not put together, top half of each slice peanut butter, small line of plain bread, then the jelly under that.

 

[Mellie2162]

Both of my kids were good eaters until they hit a certain age, then they no longer cared for certain foods and only wanted some things. No big deal. I didnt' push the issue. You don't want to eat what we are eating, fine there's always PB&J and bread, go for it. Now, ds11 and dd15 will try anything once, if they dont like it they dont eat. They have added much more into their menus. I found that if I pushed them when they were little or forced them it turned out ugly and they were even more against eating it...now they help me cook the food and try it out. After working all day and all the other stuff that goes on, the last thing im doing is fighting with a kid over dinner. DD15 often makes her own dinner because she doesnt like what we are eating, fine by me. And yeah, I agree with all the PP, there's nothing like a kid vomiting in the kitchen to ruin supper for everyone.

 

[scottishduffy]

All toddlers will at some decide they hate many of their previously favorite foods. It is just the way they are, but you can't give up when a kid suddenly claims to hate a food they loved 2 weeks ago.

I was a very picky eater. Around age 3-4 I suddenly decided I hated all veg, all fruit except strawberries, spaghetti, milk, steaks.... you name it. The only things I claimed to like for years was a very short list of foods. As an adult I am not picky at all thanks to my parents.

My parents didn't seem to care about this! Picky eaters can be as picky as they want. It is up to the parents to NOT be short order cooks and to continue to offer a wide array of healthful foods. Will the kid turn up their nose and scoff? Yes! Probably for months! But keep offering without pressure and eventually they will get hungry and eat. (Barring any true sensory issues) The kids decides to be picky, but parents decide what food will get served.

My nephew was such a picky eater even until age 12-14. His mom still cut up his food and he would only eat chicken nuggets, pizza, and burgers. It annoyed us that when the whole family was at restaurant G would ask about a particular dish (sounding interested) and Mom would brush him off and say "Oh G, don't worry you wouldn't like it." I know kids will generally be more receptive to non parent people so DH and I started taking G out to eat to places that did not serve any of his favorites... and without his parents. The kid actually ate! He actually likes stuff like calamari, escargot, and polenta now!

 

[cheermom1]

I don't fight over food with my kids, but they don't have an opportunity to be picky.
At my house you have to try two bites, if you don't like it you don't eat it, but guess what? That's it until the next meal or snack!
I only keep food in the house that I'm OK with my kids eating, and none of it is restricted. There's never been a fight over food in my house, that's just the way it is, and my kids don't know any different.
The only exception is that if I make something spicy, then I will make a tamer dish for my kids.
The only way my kids are picky is that they are so used to home made food, they complain about processed. They won't eat boxed macaroni and cheese or spaghetti o's (I tried during a snowstorm with trader joes brand), they don't like boxed cookies, and they don't like frozen nuggets or pizza. I don't blame them, I prefer the home made version too!

That is awesome, it's not that you have to force food on a kid, it is that you expose them to foods and not make an issue out of it. If you start out with you have to at least try it and that has always been the rule, THERE WILL NOT BE AN ISSUE WITH FOOD NOR A BATTLE! B/c they don't know any different.

I am talking about the kids that have only about 5 -10 things on their list they will eat and the parent won;t expose them to any other foods. That is just wrong!

This is what I'm talking about. Not if the kid has a preference. I mean I don't like tomatoes, cooked spinach (I love it raw), can asparagus, baked beans, but that is about it. I like the fresh more than I do anything. But i'll try anything b/c my parents were that way with us when we were kids, we HAD to TRY the food.

The main thing that most people are trying to stress is to have your kid at least TRY the foods and several times b/c before they say they don;t like it. As a pp stated it takes a lot of times for the kid to try it before they can decide they like it.

 

[monkeybug]

This is what I'm talking about. Not if the kid has a preference. I mean I don't like tomatoes, cooked spinach (I love it raw), can asparagus, baked beans, but that is about it. I like the fresh more than I do anything. But i'll try anything b/c my parents were that way with us when we were kids, we HAD to TRY the food.

The main thing that most people are trying to stress is to have your kid at least TRY the foods and several times b/c before they say they don;t like it. As a pp stated it takes a lot of times for the kid to try it before they can decide they like it.

One of my big pet peeves (even before I had kids) is adults who won't TRY things. I mean I get if you have food allergies or it's a food that poses a health risk or something, but other than that how in the heck do you know you won't like it if you don't try it??? I think it's ridiculous!! And I think it's a sad and limiting mentality in general to go through life with!

 

[PearlySwan]

I don't have kids, and I don't think that my lack of kids makes what I'm saying any less valid.It's just common sense! YOU are the parent...and it is your responsibility to make sure your kids are doing healthy things...I don't care whether they whine, cry, scream or tell you they hate you a million times. They are children, and they need guidance. Letting your kid do whatever he wants will lead to a slew of problems in the future.

^^^ I would agree with your opinion 100% if the child is a 'typical' child with no developmental delays of any kind. For instance, did you know that most children diagnosed with Austism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) suffer from sensory defensiveness? Sometimes that translates to what most people would describe as a picky eater. It's not necessarily the taste of the food they object to. It's the texture of the food. In fact, most parents of children with ASD will tell you the same story. Their kid would eat anything and everything you put in front of them until one day they stopped eating altogether. These kids may go for days with little more than drinks and perhaps one type of food they don't find offensive. Sometimes these kids get so bad they have to be put on feeding tubes! So the old adage, "your kid won't starve if you don't cater to their picky eating habits" won't necessarily apply to children with these problems. I don't blame the 'veteran' parents for thinking it's all about parents caving in to their picky eaters. After all, these mature parents and grandparents didn't have to deal with the epidemic numbers of children suffering with ASD (1 in 50 boys gets diagnosed these days). I also don't blame people who don't yet have children, as you OP, because you simply can't understand what is like dealing with children that have a genuinely diagnosable 'invisible' disability. Only parents who have kids on the spectrum could understand it because they live with the problem 24/7. Head on over to the disabilities board and post this thread over there. You'll see this is a widespread problem amongst children with sensory integration disorder, whether autistic or not. So again, I agree with your opinion so long as we are talking about a 'typical' child.

 

[cheermom1]

One of my big pet peeves (even before I had kids) is adults who won't TRY things. I mean I get if you have food allergies or it's a food that poses a health risk or something, but other than that how in the heck do you know you won't like it if you don't try it??? I think it's ridiculous!! And I think it's a sad and limiting mentality in general to go through life with!

ITA

Yep same here, I've seen adults that act like 2 yrs about trying a simple veggie! I know I don't like tomatoes, I was talking to a friend about it and she said maybe you got a rotten one, so i tried it again and I ate about 3 maybe 4 bites before I choose not to eat anymore. I was in my 20s when I did that. I wanted to make sure I didn't like it not to just say i don't like them. I do like asparagus but the canned is the texture I will get the fresh. So I don't count that as not liking asparagus but just the way it is prepared.

 

[cheermom1]

^^^ I would agree with your opinion 100% if the child is a 'typical' child with no developmental delays of any kind. For instance, did you know that most children diagnosed with Austism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) suffer from sensory defensiveness? Sometimes that translates to what most people would describe as a picky eater. It's not necessarily the taste of the food they object to. It's the texture of the food. In fact, most parents of children with ASD will tell you the same story. Their kid would eat anything and everything you put in front of them until one day they stopped eating altogether. These kids may go for days with little more than drinks and perhaps one type of food they don't find offensive. Sometimes these kids get so bad they have to be put on feeding tubes! So the old adage, "your kid won't starve if you don't cater to their picky eating habits" won't necessarily apply to children with these problems. I don't blame the 'veteran' parents for thinking it's all about parents caving in to their picky eaters. After all, these mature parents and grandparents didn't have to deal with the epidemic numbers of children suffering with ASD (1 in 50 boys gets diagnosed these days). I also don't blame people who don't yet have children, as you OP, because you simply can't understand what is like dealing with children that have a genuinely diagnosable 'invisible' disability. Only parents who have kids on the spectrum could understand it because they live with the problem 24/7. Head on over to the disabilities board and post this thread over there. You'll see this is a widespread problem amongst children with sensory integration disorder, whether autistic or not. So again, I agree with your opinion so long as we are talking about a 'typical' child.

First I don;t thing the op was talking about the kids that have allergies or sensory issues. However my son is Asperbers and he WILL try any food b/c I have him do this and that is all he has known. How will he know if he doesn;t like it or have a sensory to it IF he doesn;t at least TRY it? That is what this whole thread has been about to have the kid TRY the darn food!