Parents of teens - what are your rules?

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Mine are 17 and 14 and rules pretty much apply for both except 14 yo can't drive yet. OP are you going to share your rules with us??

What are your household rules for:

• Grades - exactly what they are capable of doing, homework done without asking, no excuses for work not done.
• Driving - can drive with a licensed driver that we know within the limitations of that driver (some can only drive til 9, some can only have one extra person in the car etc. When DD gets her license, as long as the car is available, she may take it.
• Cell Phone/texting - no rules persay, they have phones their own phones, we have unlimited texting/calls and do not make them turn off at a certain time except if they are eating with guests then they are to be turned off and normal phone ettiquete.
• Computer/Social networking sites - if I have access to the password, they are not censored. If their homework/chores are done, there is no limit (time etc.)
• Extra Curricular activities - we allow as many as each child wants to do as long as school work is getting done.
• Dating - as long as I know where they are, times etc are based on the activity and group. No specific, "you must be home by 10pm". rules
• Curfews - none

 

[mom2travel]

DS is just about 15. We don't have too many hard and fast rules. DH and I were talking about this a few weeks ago. I believe (and he agrees) that it works for us to be flexible, based on particular situations.

grades - do your best (he knows he is capable of all As, which usually he has). I think that DS knows what he needs to do to achieve the goals he has set for himself (college and beyond) and it is up to him to make the needed effort. We won't be there to hold his hand in college and make sure he does his work, so he needs to work on being independent now. Because he sometimes tends to procrastinate, I do keep up to date on due dates,etc (which he provides me - I could look up on teachers' webpages but haven't felt the need) so I can issue friendly reminders, but the responsibility is his. We do enforce no tv while doing homework

driving - not there until next year since he is toward the younger end of his grade. He will be allowed to drive to school and practice. That is as much for our convenience as his. Otherwise, it will depend on where and when he would like to go somewhere. He will not be given free reign over a car, and will need to let us know where he'll be and when he'll be home (I realize reality and theory don't always match, but that's the plan at least ).

cell phones/texting - he has had one for years. We have a family planning with unlimited minutes and texts. We pay for the phone and the plan. If he loses it, he will need to work off the $$ for a replacement. Rules are no phone at meals and it needs to be turned off at a reasonable hour

Computer/Social networking sites - the computer is in a family space. He has a facebook page. I had him log on with me and I set all the privacy settings for him to friends only.

Extra Curricular activities - he can do as much as he wants that will not interfere with schoolwork. Between school and tennis he really doesn't have much free time, so we don't really have many issues here

Dating - the rule here and at his girlfriend's house is they need to hang out in a family/public area of the house. Since they don't drive yet they are dependent on us parents to get them places. They usually just hang out at one of their houses or sometimes go to the movies or dinner with a group

Curfews - depends on where/with whom/why. Hasn't really been an issue yet given not driving self around.

We have also already had talks about drinking and driving, including riding w/ someone else who has. I had a "call any time/no questions asked" policy from my parents and we will have the same with our children.

 

[Freyja]

DS is 15 1/2

Grades: He is a straight A student and all we ask is that he does what he can (within reason).

Cell phone/texting: I pay $15 for his phone bill each month and so far he hasn´t needed more than that. If/when he does he will pay for it himself.

Computer/social networking sites: He has his own laptop and internet access in room. He has a FB page (and both his dad and I are friends with him on there). He also has a Twitter account and DH and I are both very active on Twitter. We have always told him we should be able to view and check anything he does on the computer, but so far I´ve never felt the need to do so.

Extra Curricular Activities: He´s just stopped playing soccer and now only goes to drum practice once a week. Hope he starts doing some sport again soon. He´s allowed to go with friends pretty much everywhere he wants to.

Dating: Hasn´t been an issue yet but when it comes up he will be pretty much free to do as he pleases as long as he treats his partner with respect and practices safe sex.

Curfew: 10 pm on weeknights and 12 pm on weekends.

 

[imabrat]

Ok, my dear DIS friends - time to share your rules for your teenagers!
My daughter is 16 and apparently I am "soooooooooooooooooo strict"! lol

So now, I am really curious about where I really stand on the "strict - lax" continuum.

What are your household rules for:

• Grades
• Driving
• Cell Phone/texting
• Computer/Social networking sites
• Extra Curricular activities
• Dating
• Curfews

And any other topic you see fit to share about...

Here's some perspective from a teens POV:

Grades - Try your absolute hardest. I'm an A B student and I hound myself about my grades anyway.
Driving - I have to pay insurance and gas when I use the car. I don't have my own car so when I use the car and who I'm with is completely up to them.
Cell Phone/Texting - My parents pay the bill. We have unlimited texting for the whole family. If you lose, break, etc the phone it is your own fault. You can use a spare phone until the contract allows you to get a new phone or you can buy a phone with your money.
Computer - We all have our own laptops, and mom is our friend on our facebook accounts. Pretty much the only rule is no trashtalking. My parents monitor everything we do anyway.
Extracurricular activities - Do waht you want to do. There's no rules here.
Dating - No deadbeats.
Curfew - I don't really think I have a curfew because I'm home by 10 most nights anyway. If I had a curfew it'd be 10-11ish I think.

BTW, I'm 16 years old, soon to be 17, and a junior in high school.

 

[Acklander]

by the time our son was 16 we were pretty much treating him like an adult with us as fall back. the reality is, that in 2 short years he was going to be totally responsible for himself and I wanted him to be as best prepared as he could be.


What are your household rules for:

• Grades: DS had long understood the importance of grades being tied into what he had planned for the future. If he was "college material" it would be one thing, but it was obvious that he wasn't, so instead he chose to concentrate on classes that gave him life skills and trade skills, and we supported him on this. this worked out well for him as he came out of school with basic skills that has been able to grow into a good job.
  DS#2 is a different story as he's more of an "academic kid", but even though he's not a teen yet, he understands that grades are his personal responsibility, and he takes it seriously at this time. We don't pay for grades and we don't punish for grades. I guess if he started to slack off we'd address it, however good grades go towards a future goal and we always make sure that they keep that in mind.
  
• Driving: DS started working part-time and summers around age 13 and was able to get his own piece of crap car around 16 or 17. We paid for insurance (to make sure he was fully insured!!!) as his Christmas gift. Other stuff for the car (gas, maintenance, etc..) was his own personal responsibility out of his own funds. When the car wasn't working (as happens with piece of crap cars) he was more than welcome to borrow ours as long as no one else needed it, and he paid for the gas. This worked for us.
  
• Cell Phone/texting: Cell phone is on our family plan with unlimited texting and set amount of hours per phone. We pay for this for each household member since we don't have a home phone and are cell only. Kids seem to go heavy on the texting so don't have an issue with the cell going over on the hours. I don't monitor the kids phone/text use.
  
• Computer/Social networking sites: Everyone in the family has their own computer. I don't monitor anyone except being "friends" with the 10 year old. by mid teen years, I pretty much have stepped away from it. The kids know where to find me if they're having a problem, and so far - so good.
  
• Extra Curricular activities When DS was a teen, he was heavily involved in sports, so each season was involved with a team. He was responsible for getting himself to and from practice, making sure his uniform was clean, and that his grades were kept up so that he wasn't bumped from the team. We'd show up at his home games (and DH would usually go to the away games as well) but DS was responsible for picking his own extra curricular activities and the responsibilities that went along with it.
  
• Dating: I think DS started ************* (in groups, with friends to movies, hanging at teen center etc...) around 14. He dated who he wanted, when he wanted, and we pretty much stayed out of it. He was responsible for paying for any dating related activity.
  
• Curfews; by 16 DS was responsible for letting us know where he was, but didn't have a curfew. Keep in mind, he was also responsible for making sure he was where he was supposed to be on time (school, sports, weekend/summer job) so coming in late wasn't an issue - he needed to sleep to accomplish everything he was responsible for. During weekends and summers he'd usually stay out later with friends but it was never THAT late because he knew he had to be up for a game, or work the next day.
  
  I guess reading over this it sounds like a lot of freedom for a teenager, but we start young with our kids teaching them from day one about personal responsibility and actually making them responsible for their actions. So by the time they reached 16, they were pretty self sufficient and didn't need us looking over their shoulder. Did they make mistakes? Absolutely!!!! And we'd use those mistakes as a learning tool. I didn't need to ground them or take away electronics. Just let them live with the results of the mistakes. If you stay out too late, you're going to be exhausted at work/school the next day. If you flunk a class, you're going to be sitting in summer school while your friends are at the beach, if you spend your money foolishly, you're going to be sitting home while all your friends are out at the movies. I didn't need to come down hard on them when they made a mistake, but I didn't bail them out either.

 

[Chelley00]

Grades: We expect A's and B's, unless they are really trying and just can't make it. Then we'll offer to get extra help etc. D's and F's are grounds for losing TV, phone, computer etc until that grade comes back up again.

Drivin: we have to know where they are going, and when they will be home, and who will be in the car.

Cell Phone/texting: We have unlimited texting, but at anytime I'm allowed to call a text check. Sometimes I read them, sometimes I don't. It depends on their reaction when I tell them I'm going to check. And they aren't allowed to delete off a bunch of stuff until it's full.

Computer/Social networking sites: Facebook is fine, but I have passwords, they have to be my friend, and they can only accept people they know personall.

Extra Curricular activities: one sport a season. No exceptions. We have 4 kids and I'm not about to spend all my time constantly running to this practic and that game.

Dating: Group dates only until they are 16, and then we'd prefer them to double date only.

Curfews: There is no set curfew. It's based on where they are going and what they plan to do.

 

[cats7494]

Thank you all for your feedback! It is so interesting to read!
I kinda fall in the middle - strict. My daughter also has ADHD so we have to be very consistent.

Here are our rules:

• Grades - this has been an issue at our home so we have had to be tougher. She is VERY capable - but has some motivational issues. No missing assignments, no C's, D's, or F's in order to have electronic privileges . (computer, cell phone)
• Driving - can drive with a licensed driver that we know and trust. When DD gets her license, as long as she maintains a 3.0 GPA she has access to the car.
• Cell Phone/texting - See Grade rules above. We have unlimited texting/calls. Phone off at 10:30 and during family time.
• Computer/Social networking sites - we reserve the right to monitor any electronic exchanges if necessary. (It has been necessary a few times due to inappropriate content) Also see Grade rules above.
• Extra Curricular activities - As long as GPA is good - she is open to any activity.
• Dating - She is now 16 and as long as we know where she is and we have to meet the person before they go out.
• Curfews - I don't have a specific curfew. It is really situational based.

 

[Robinrs]

My son is 17 and basically a square. He loves hanging out with ME!!

Grades - Do your best. He gets As and Bs in everything but Math, like his Mom but he strives harder than anyone I know.

Driving - His best friend is in a wheelchair and his family takes him everywhere. Otherwise I take him. No driving yet.

Cell Phone/texting - He's had a cell since he was 10. Barely ever uses it. Prefers to communicate by email. He's an incredible writer

Computer/Social networking sites - On Facebook and MySpace. I monitor both. He's set up sites for his grandparents and nearly everyone in the family.

Extra Curricular activities - After everything is done he's free to do what he likes, mostly websites and dvds.

Dating - No local girlfriend this year (YAY ) she moved out of town but he stays "true" to her. She comes to visit during holidays

Curfews - 11pm but none if he's with his friend's family.

 

[Cindy B]

As for driving, 16 year olds don't drive in our state (17!) As an aside, I can't believe young teens-some as young as 14 are driving!

Curfew- 12 midnight or earlier

Computer- router is turned off at 930 pm

Dating- we are in the cross that bridge when we come it phase.. the occasional date has been over at 11-12 midnight.

Grades- I consider a C failing. He is capable of A's & B's-- so by nook or by crook he is doing it!

Cell Phone- had issues earlier about that _ had to pay for phone/text blocking during certain times of the day, but we took the block and never told him (oops!)

Extra Curriculars- grades come first.. no C's. After that we are fair game.

 

[shortbun]

Ok, my dear DIS friends - time to share your rules for your teenagers!
My daughter is 16 and apparently I am "soooooooooooooooooo strict"! lol

So now, I am really curious about where I really stand on the "strict - lax" continuum.

What are your household rules for:

• Grades
• Driving
• Cell Phone/texting
• Computer/Social networking sites
• Extra Curricular activities
• Dating
• Curfews

And any other topic you see fit to share about...

Grades must reflect hard work and if they are not great and there has been hard work-I'll be ok with it.

Driving will be without friends, especially at night and on Saturday afternoon.
Grades must be high enough to receive good student discount on insurance to drive.

Computer sites must be parent approved and will be parent perused from time to time.

Extra cirricular activities - do you mean sports teams, volunteering or are you talking parties and dances? All must be chaperoned and as to the latter, I don't think I'll need rules because my son does not seem interested.

Dating will be in groups. Dates will be met. Dates must be of similar age.

Curfew will be enforced and 10 minutes after the young ladies curfew. I'll be talking to the parents about that. Curfew from school functions will reflect the end time of said function. Otherwise, our city has a good curfew system which we will use when necessary.

 

[hereyago]

I only have a tween right now and to be honest, I am scared of the next couple years. I had a very different upbringing or lack there of. I am just trying to figure out what the median will be, you can be too lax or too strict.

 

[golfgal]

DS17, DD15, DS15


[*]Grades--they are all in high school and are responsible for their own grades. If they chose not to do their homework and fail a class, they pay the price by either not being eligible for sports, not graduating on time, etc. We don't get involved in making them do homework any longer.

[*]Driving-right now DS17 has pretty much unlimited access to the car in return for running errands for us and running siblings places as needed. State law limits how many people he could have in the car-only one non-related passenger for the first 6 months and only as many kids as there are seatbelts after that. It is pretty much what we would have done anyway. The twins will probably have the same access to the car but until we see how responsible they are with the car, who knows for sure.

[*]Cell Phone/texting--if they go over our minutes, they pay the extra-if they lose a phone, we don't replace it until their next upgrade. If they want to buy one on their own, fine--neither have happened in the 5+ years we have had cell phones for DS17 and then the twins. Other than that, no "rules".

[*]Computer/Social networking sites-they only use Facebook by choice. I have their passwords and I am a friend on their site (for the twins). We have had ZERO issues with this at all. For DS17, he isn't on it much but I no longer have his password nor am I a friend because he has earned that right. I don't need the twins' stuff any more either but they haven't taken me off and I am not going to mention that .

[*]Extra Curricular activities-they have to finish what they start

[*]Dating-high school was our start for "dating". They had "boyfriends/girlfriends" in middle school but they sat by them in lunch and that was about as serious as that got. To go out on a "date" we said high school. Our oldest has had a few girlfriends, nothing very serious. The twins really haven't dated yet--they have a mixed group of friends that everyone just hangs out with right now. When they start getting drivers licenses that will change I am sure.


[*]Curfews--depends on what they are doing. The town has a midnight curfew that they enforce (with exceptions for work/school stuff). On school nights they rarely go out because of sports/homework/school stuff keeping them busy.


Honestly, we don't have a lot of absolute rules for anything. We really have "guidelines" because I don't like making rules just to have rules so you feel like you are being a good parent. We expect our kids to be good people, behave and be responsible. If they do all that, you don't need "rules".

 

[wdw4us2]

What are your household rules for:

• Grades
• Driving
• Cell Phone/texting
• Computer/Social networking sites
• Extra Curricular activities
• Dating
• Curfews

DD is now 18, but these were the rules we had for her and currently have for DS15:

Grades: A's and B's unless there are extenuating circumstances. Anything below that, extracurriculars are eliminated.

Driving: She was allowed to get her license on her 16th birthday and we gave her the use of our old '93 Chevy pick-up. She had to pay for the gas. No friends were allowed to ride with her the first six months she had her license unless she was transporting them to a school event. We did the Allstate Insurance Teen Driving Contract and there were consequences if any of the rules were broken - fortunately none were.

Cell phone/texting: Cell phones are not given to our kids until after they leave middle school. Originally, DD had 200 texts per month and if she went over the limit she had to pay for them. We now have unlimited on all the phones since we have four lines and it was only a little more expensive. Absolutely no texting while driving and no talking on the phone while driving. Loss of driving privileges if caught. We do allow DD to talk on her cell now since her current vehicle has a hands free unit that she usually only uses when traveling.

Computer/social networking: Computer time is only available after homework/chores are completed. Facebook is okay because they have me as a friend and a lot of their friends do, too.

Extra curricular activities: DD was a three sport athlete and a member of SGA through high school. DS plays football and is in the chorus. I mainly let them do what they think they can handle without it interfering with their grades.

Dating: DD was allowed to date when she was 15 so long as we knew the boy and/or his family. DS has not started dating yet, but the girls are calling.

Curfews: DD had to be home at 11 pm through most of high school until her senior year. There is a curfew here for drivers under 18 so we went by that when she started driving. At age 16, the curfew is 11 pm and 17 it is midnight. We allowed some leeway with the curfew depending on the activity and who was involved. DS doesn't go out much at this point, but he has the same rules DD did.

To the original poster: If it makes you feel any better, DD spent most of her time telling me she had the strictest parents/rules. She never got into trouble, so I'm fine with it.

 

[jme829]

by the time our son was 16 we were pretty much treating him like an adult with us as fall back. the reality is, that in 2 short years he was going to be totally responsible for himself and I wanted him to be as best prepared as he could be.



I guess reading over this it sounds like a lot of freedom for a teenager, but we start young with our kids teaching them from day one about personal responsibility and actually making them responsible for their actions. So by the time they reached 16, they were pretty self sufficient and didn't need us looking over their shoulder. Did they make mistakes? Absolutely!!!! And we'd use those mistakes as a learning tool. I didn't need to ground them or take away electronics. Just let them live with the results of the mistakes. If you stay out too late, you're going to be exhausted at work/school the next day. If you flunk a class, you're going to be sitting in summer school while your friends are at the beach, if you spend your money foolishly, you're going to be sitting home while all your friends are out at the movies. I didn't need to come down hard on them when they made a mistake, but I didn't bail them out either.

 

[cheermom1]

by the time our son was 16 we were pretty much treating him like an adult with us as fall back. the reality is, that in 2 short years he was going to be totally responsible for himself and I wanted him to be as best prepared as he could be.


What are your household rules for:

• Grades: DS had long understood the importance of grades being tied into what he had planned for the future. If he was "college material" it would be one thing, but it was obvious that he wasn't, so instead he chose to concentrate on classes that gave him life skills and trade skills, and we supported him on this. this worked out well for him as he came out of school with basic skills that has been able to grow into a good job.
  DS#2 is a different story as he's more of an "academic kid", but even though he's not a teen yet, he understands that grades are his personal responsibility, and he takes it seriously at this time. We don't pay for grades and we don't punish for grades. I guess if he started to slack off we'd address it, however good grades go towards a future goal and we always make sure that they keep that in mind.
  
• Driving: DS started working part-time and summers around age 13 and was able to get his own piece of crap car around 16 or 17. We paid for insurance (to make sure he was fully insured!!!) as his Christmas gift. Other stuff for the car (gas, maintenance, etc..) was his own personal responsibility out of his own funds. When the car wasn't working (as happens with piece of crap cars) he was more than welcome to borrow ours as long as no one else needed it, and he paid for the gas. This worked for us.
  
• Cell Phone/texting: Cell phone is on our family plan with unlimited texting and set amount of hours per phone. We pay for this for each household member since we don't have a home phone and are cell only. Kids seem to go heavy on the texting so don't have an issue with the cell going over on the hours. I don't monitor the kids phone/text use.
  
• Computer/Social networking sites: Everyone in the family has their own computer. I don't monitor anyone except being "friends" with the 10 year old. by mid teen years, I pretty much have stepped away from it. The kids know where to find me if they're having a problem, and so far - so good.
  
• Extra Curricular activities When DS was a teen, he was heavily involved in sports, so each season was involved with a team. He was responsible for getting himself to and from practice, making sure his uniform was clean, and that his grades were kept up so that he wasn't bumped from the team. We'd show up at his home games (and DH would usually go to the away games as well) but DS was responsible for picking his own extra curricular activities and the responsibilities that went along with it.
  
• Dating: I think DS started ************* (in groups, with friends to movies, hanging at teen center etc...) around 14. He dated who he wanted, when he wanted, and we pretty much stayed out of it. He was responsible for paying for any dating related activity.
  
• Curfews; by 16 DS was responsible for letting us know where he was, but didn't have a curfew. Keep in mind, he was also responsible for making sure he was where he was supposed to be on time (school, sports, weekend/summer job) so coming in late wasn't an issue - he needed to sleep to accomplish everything he was responsible for. During weekends and summers he'd usually stay out later with friends but it was never THAT late because he knew he had to be up for a game, or work the next day.
  
  I guess reading over this it sounds like a lot of freedom for a teenager, but we start young with our kids teaching them from day one about personal responsibility and actually making them responsible for their actions. So by the time they reached 16, they were pretty self sufficient and didn't need us looking over their shoulder. Did they make mistakes? Absolutely!!!! And we'd use those mistakes as a learning tool. I didn't need to ground them or take away electronics. Just let them live with the results of the mistakes. If you stay out too late, you're going to be exhausted at work/school the next day. If you flunk a class, you're going to be sitting in summer school while your friends are at the beach, if you spend your money foolishly, you're going to be sitting home while all your friends are out at the movies. I didn't need to come down hard on them when they made a mistake, but I didn't bail them out either.

• 
  
  
  I did the same thing with mine, now it is a lot of trust...My step sons on the other hand I really worry about them as they aren't responsible enough to go to bed with out being told, or to eat when they are hungry let alone brushing their teeth or taking a shower. I never have had this trouble with mine. Ex. on weekends they are allowed to stay up till 12 pm if they are quite and go to bed at 12 pm, but they have never been able to do this. dh and I are fighting over this one right now. He thinks it is ok (even when they were here over spring break and we had to work) I was up trying to make them be quite so I could sleep but dh is fighting me when i said that we need to make them go to bed at 10 then. I don;t get it if the kids can't be responsible enough to do what they are told they need a consequence to make them understand it. They are NOT that young either they are 14, 12, and 10. old enough to know to do these things and young enough to be punished when they don't. how do I get dh to get this through his head???

 

[stahshee]

Ok, my dear DIS friends - time to share your rules for your teenagers!
My daughter is 16 and apparently I am "soooooooooooooooooo strict"! lol

So now, I am really curious about where I really stand on the "strict - lax" continuum.

What are your household rules for:


And any other topic you see fit to share about...

What are your household rules for:

• Grades she has good grades so np
• Driving as long as she follows the state rules no drive after 9...pays for her gas and insure also no text while drive
• Cell Phone/texting no problem
• Computer/Social networking sites no problem.. Im her friend on all her sites
• Extra Curricular activities no problem
• Dating no alone in house!!!! no going to his house.. Would like to see her go out with boyfriend on dates more and no dateing until she turned 16 and had our ok
• Curfews depends on what they are doing,, movie at 7 be back by 10 ect

 

[Planogirl]

I have one that recently turned 17 and this is where we are:

Grades - I have to see that he is trying and applies himself

Driving - still learning and until I'm satisfied that he has it down he won't be driving anywhere.

Cell Phone/texting - no rules as long as he keeps it under control

Computer/Social networking sites - I don't monitor but I'm always flitting around

Extra Curricular activities - no real rules, just keep grades up

Dating - can if he wishes to

Curfews - no set curfew, it depends on what he's doing

 

[LilyWDW]

I don't have a child at all, but thought I would post what my parents did with me...

* Grades - I had to do my best, but my parents did offer money for good grades... however, they took money away for bad grades. I got $10 for an A, $5 for a B, $0 for a C, -$5 for a D, and -$10 for a F.

* Driving - I personally didn't want my license until I was 16... I was closer to 17 when I finally got it. Just wasn't a big deal for me. Once I got it though, I didn't have many restrictions though we only had 2 cars so I had to have permission to take one.

* Cell Phone/texting - Didn't have one until way into college. If I was driving somewhere, one of my parents would lend me one of theirs JUST in case.

* Computer/Social networking sites - Computer was in the living room but that was mostly because we could only afford one back then. I didn't have many restrictions and spent time chatting to many people in Star Wars and Chicago Bulls chat rooms.

* Extra Curricular activities - Anything I wanted to do, but I had to figure out how to get to and from.

* Dating - I was never really told any restrictions, but I didn't even date until my senior year in high school. I was friends with the guys... but didn't really care to "date" them. Didn't seem like it was needed lol.

* Curfews - Depended on the situation. School nights it was 9pm unless it was something school related like a dance or football game. Weekends it really depended on what we were doing. I was not (and still am not) a late night person so I never had an issue with it.

 

[Becky2005]

I'm pretty lax but I have to laugh at the curfews. My DD doesn't really have one because basically she is at the school forever!!!

Right now she is at the school doing tech crew for try-outs for their end of the year variety show! It's almost 9 pm our time and I'm suspecting she won't get done until 10 or 11 pm.

Their musical rehearsals went from 7 pm - 10 pm for what seemed like forever!! She doesn't have her licenses so I'm always driving. The actual musical performances didn't get over until 10:30 pm & one of those was on a school night.

Last year she was on the gymnastics team, 90% of the away meets they didn't get home until at least 10:30 pm.

Therefore she doesn't really have a bedtime either. As long as she's quiet and can get up at her 5:45 AM the next day for school, no problems. I was the same way when I was a teen, I was a night owl but managed to get myself up for school, so as long as she can do that, I'm good.

 

[Lucky4me]

DD is 15

* Grades- high honor roll-if she gets all 16 quarters of high school high honor roll, we buy her a car for graduation. (we most likely will without her doing this, but she doesn't know that. )
* Driving- permit at 16, two years of practice, license and car at 18
* Cell Phone/texting-1500 texts a month, she goes over, she loses the phone until she pays the overage. Phone is turned off at 9pm on school nights and charged in our room. Unlimited use on weekends. We blocked pix texting on her phone. I don't want to worry about that at all in either direction. We'll reevaluate next year at 16 all of the phone stuff.
* Computer/Social networking sites-one computer in the main area of the house. I have full access to all her sites, emails and passwords and check them from time to time. She doesn't seem to mind. She spends very little time online. Mostly for homework research.
* Extra Curricular activities-One sport a season and a couple of clubs or organizations. She would join everything and be busy 24/7, but I think she needs down time with family and friends just as much as the other things.
* Dating- no dating one on one until she is at least 16-I wish I had said 18, but I'm going to have to let her, because we've been telling her 16 for years and she's looking forward to it. I'm hoping she still does group dates until she's 18. (doubtful) She has a new "boyfriend" almost every other week, but it usually goes no farther than texts, phone calls and maybe hanging out with a bunch of friends at the skate rink or the movies.
* Curfews- no set curfew, depends on what she's doing. She's usually in bed at 9:30pm school nights and gets herself up at 6am with no prodding from me. Weekends sometimes she's out past midnight- 1am at a friends house-people we know and trust and she has sleepovers here all the time.

We sound so strict, but it's working for us. She's very happy, thriving at school and loves life.
She's a joy and I don't get it. I was a holy terror at 15....