Parents of delayed kids?

[binny]

I have a question for you...

Karissa ( 3 1/2 ) is fairly hard to discipline. My issue is I dont know how much she understands.

So how do I discipline her?

She got into her diaper after naptime and without going into detail it took me two hours to clean it up.
I amde sure she knew I wasnt happy. I told her firmly " No NO dont take your diaper off!" then put her in the bathtub to get cleaned up while I cleaned her room. The problem is while I was telling her no she was just smiling at me and laughing, not the evil " I know what your saying I just dont care" smile just her normal happy smile, I TRULY don't think she understands.


How do you discipline your kids when they dont understand what they did wrong?

 

[swanmom]

Binny,
This is always hard..... even for parents of kids without special needs! But as a former special ed teacher, the best thing I can say to try to help is repetition!!!!! Does it really matter at this age whether or not she understands why she's being disciplined?
What I mean is...that taking off your dirty diaper isn't a moral issue that she needs to comprehend. What she needs to know is that everytime she does THAT, the thing that happens next isn't good and mommy is mad. If she sees that certain actions consistently result in unpleasant things happening for her, she'll figure out that she doesn't want to repeat those actions. But, often, this doesn't happen on the first try. Be prepared to enforce this a couple of times. (I just hope for your sake that next time the diaper is # 1 and not #2 if she decides to try to take it off )

 

[TRAPPED-PARENT]

If you are feeling some concern about this, I think it may be time to make an appointment with the Pediatrician for a discussion. The doctor can probably do some simple tests and order more extensive ones if necessary in order to determine if there is a developmental problem.

If the doctor does not see a developmental problem, s/he may be able to recommend a good support group and/or resource to assist you in finding a way to manage your child appropriately.

Bottom line - I would ask the Pediatrician for an appointment.

 

[CamColt]

I dont know if this will help, because it is a different situation, but Ill throw it out there for you. DS had a speech delay. He was always frustrated, especially when it came to playing/fighting/defending himself with other kids. He would often bite because it was the only way he could get his frustrations out. I remember hearing a pediatrician answer a question for someone in a similar situation(we have a "midday call in" on our local news) and he said the best thing, even when they are young and dont understand, is to just hold them, look them straight in the eye and say "no biting" firmly. It may take a while but they will eventually get what "no" means. So, maybe just simply, but firmly tell her, "no taking off your diaper", and it may eventually get through to her. In the mean time, good luck with that mess(DS also pulled that disaster on me once ).
Pixie dust on the way!!!

 

[TRAPPED-PARENT]

Please note that my response is based on the assumption that the diaper episode was only an example of the bigger problem you are experiencing.

 

[binny]

Thats ok trapped Im pretty hard to offend

She does have a delay, she was deaf for the first 18 months of her life so she has delays left over from that. She is in a developmental preschool and has made great strides, there are still some areas though that are really lacking.
She is under the care of her ped as well as a host of therapists and teachers. Thank you for your concern It was people like you who got me to go above my regular doctors head and demand better evaluations


Thanks for all your responses They all help me find out how other people deal with this At the very least I know Im not alone and if Im going crazy at least Ill be in good company right?

 

[Judy from Boise]

Hey Binny,
( I am so ashamed....I will call i promise ! I even have a little housewarming present ! )

Kinz was so very like this....and not a malicious bone in her body. When i needed to I would usually clap my hands loudly3 times, make a frowny face, and shake my head "no", while i was saying " we don't rip books" or whatever.

This usually set off hearbroken crying, and then we had lots of cuddling and rocking.....but it usually worked.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

I babysat a boy who would do this with his diapers .... YUCK!!! His mother finally tried duct tape around the sides of his diapers, so the boy couldn't peal it off. She also put him in a "one-sie" of whatever you call them (those underclothes that snap between the legs) so the boy could not reach down into his diaper and pull anything out. It seemed to help, and he outgrew the phase in a few months, thankfully!!

 

[binny]

duct tape might work, she figured out the onsie thing allready lol.

Judy thats a good idea. She hates to dissapoint. Poor Kenzie I can just see that
It's amazing how alike she and Kinzie are in so many ways.
Dont get me started on the book ripping that a whole 'nother thread.
Let me know when you want to get together, Tia wanted to come along sometime too. Cant wait to see you


Thanks everyone for the responses I really appreciate the help