Parents of college freshmen

[bsnyder]

How are your Freshman doing?

My DS is home again this weekend (for the 2nd time since August 17th).

He says he likes it "okay" but doesn't "love" it. He misses his high school buddies, and girlfriend (she's still here, hasn't graduated yet).

Good news is he likes all his classes a lot (except for the math!) and feels like he is prepared to do well in all of them.

I'm trying not to worry about the fact that he's showing a tendency to migrate back home on the weekends. It's really VERY typical of him to take a while (sometimes a long while) to warm up to a new place or experience.

But I am a worrier by nature, when it comes to my kids anyway, and so it's hard not to fret!

So how is everyone else's freshman doing?

 

[Patrick IL.]

DD had a a rather rough first week, a little homesick I am sure. She is not overly fond of her room mate but they seem to be working it out. Classes seem to be going well. She decided to rush and was accepted to a Sorority on Campus so that is wideing her circle of friends. This year she is fortunate as her Brother is at the same school in his final year so she uses him as her touchstone.

We do miss them something fierce In two weeks is parents weekend so we will go down and spend two days with them, it will be good for all our hearts

 

[CyranoJones]

Our daughter is doing okay. She's 1900 miles away so that means no coming home for weekends when she's homesick. She has been living in the dorm since August 13. No room mate. We do chat on IM quite a bit, but I have noticed she's around less as of late. She's out and about and I think that's a good thing. Classes are going all right. She's due home for a visit in mid-October during fall break. It will be interesting to see how that goes.

 

[wld]

OK I'm the mom of a college sophmore and the auntie of a college freshman and the adopted auntie of a college freshman.

All are adjusting well. My DD and I talked about this at length and she feels the best thing that happened to her was that she was 7.5 hours away and realistically couldn't come home. She cried and yelled when we left her (it was terrible) but we made her stick by her decision. She said she never would have adjusted so quickly if she hadn't just stayed up there and not came home. I might add that she knew absolutely no one up there and had never been in a new situation like that before. I might add that we did talk every other day on the phone.

My two freshman girls had a rough week or so, but they too are staying put. Mostly on my daughter's advice. I have recently spoken with both and they are now having a great time.

The adopted (informally) niece's sister insisted on coming home every weekend her first 2 years of college and her mom is sure this is why she didn't enjoy it as much.

When they are "stuck" at college they make new friends much more quickly and seem to drift away from the old ones a bit as they are caught up in new and different experiences.

For what its worth just my opinion and these are all girls.

 

[Amzey]

I'm not a parent but I am a college freshman and I'm having a great time! My roommate is great, we're a lot alike in many ways -it's odd, we'll be thinking the same thing at the same time and things like that. We both love Broadway and so far have seen Cabaret, The Full Monty (I just had to take her before it closed!), Oklahoma (as I have a big crush on Patrick Wilson, who plays Curly.. student rush makes it too easy to see this way too many times, hehe), and The Producers.

My classes have been good, my freshman honors seminar on the cultural nature of language has been extremely difficult, however. It's just more work than I'm used to. Luckily we're studying language development in children right now which holds my interest.

Most of the people on my floor are friendly.. there have been a few exceptions. Some of the girls can be two-faced - nice when it's just girls around and very catty when boys are there.

Going home next weekend, my roommate is coming along as well, and I'm very excited! I didn't realize how much I would miss Cape Cod until I left. I'm loving New York as much as I always have though, and I've been surprised how smooth the transition has been for me.

 

[bsnyder]

So glad you are enjoying NYU, Amzey!

I am kind of at a loss on what to do about Matt and coming home. I do think that if he stuck around on the weekends he'd adjust that much more quickly, but should I just forbid him to come home for a certain length of time?

I did tell him yesterday that if he does come home for the weekend that he will have a curfew and be expected to help out like usual, ie, run errands, do chores and drive his little sister here and there, and share the car with his younger brother. In other words, it won't be the freedom he has at college.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Originally posted by bsnyder
.....I did tell him yesterday that if he does come home for the weekend that he will have a curfew and be expected to help out like usual, ie, run errands, do chores and drive his little sister here and there, and share the car with his younger brother. In other words, it won't be the freedom he has at college.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I don't have a college freshman, but our good friends do. She lives at home and commutes to save $$$, which is probably what my own kids will have to do--luckily we have one good community college and 2 good state schools nearby.
All they have said is that she has developed some major attititude about chores, curfew etc.--suddenly thinks they don't apply to her--and they do, since she still lives under their roof, which I fully understand.
I remember when I was in college and home, if I had the car I had a 1AM curfew and 1:30 without the car. Just because you're in college doesn't mean you can live without rules when you go home.
Robin M.

 

[wld]

Tough decision.

It was really tough for us last year when our daughter didn't want to stay when we dropped her off, but it ended up working really well.

Our friend, who's daughter came home every weekend for 2 years thinks they made a big mistake and should have made her stay up there for at least a month without coming home. she was one hour away.

I guess I would try and not let him come home too often. But if he lives close that is easier to say then to do. But the college kids seem to make the most friends on the weekend and if he isn't there..........

Where is that instruction manual when you need it?

 

[krazyboutWDW]

My DD is really enjoying her freshman year and doesn't really want to come home even though we live close enough that she can. She also went through rush and pledged a sorority (which sorority did your daughter pledge Patrick?). I think between the sorority and her classes she is keeping very busy.

I was wondering, with your DS, does his college have a good football team? I know my daughter will not come home as long as there is a home football game that weekend. Her girl friends have also gone up one weekend and stayed in the dorm. Maybe you could encourage some of your son's buddies to go for a weekend visit. I really don't have any other ideas. I hope he starts to really enjoy campus life. I guess I'm lucky my DD has adusted so easily!!

 

[bsnyder]

No football team at his school, it's a small school with about 2,500 students. They do have a good basketball program, but obviously that sport hasn't started yet. The school is located in a very small town (Deland, FL) and his major complain so far is that there is nothing to do there. I really think it has more to do with not being ready to give up the security of his high school buddies, but he's not going to see it that way.

Rush doesn't start until mid-October. I'm hoping Matt will join a fraternity, as this is such a good way to find a group of friends to get to know well. He says he's considering it.

He really likes his roommate, and I think they are becoming very good friends.....the problem is the roommate only lives about 45 minutes from home, has a car, and a very serious girlfriend back in his home town, so he has gone home every weekend so far.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Neither of my kids are college-aged yet. They are 15 and 11, so the time is coming soon.

I did live in the same town that I attended college, but my parents MADE me live in the dorms. I came home on the weekends and sometimes even for a few hours in the evening that first semester. I am pretty shy and it took me a while to adjust. When I made some close friends, we started spending a lot of time together.

Once I got my sea legs, my parents hardly saw me! Give him time to meet some people. I wouldn't tell him not to come home. He'll get involved when he's ready and feeling more confident. Some kids just need that grounding of "home" for a while.