I haven't posted much, but I try to read often here. You know we worry when we send our babies off into the world. I know with my daughter I worry about her driving and walking late on campus by herself. I moved so she is only 4 hours away as opposed to 8 so she could come home for weekends. If she has to walk at night by herself she will often call and talk to me until she gets back to her dorm.
Nothing can prepare you though when it happens. Early Thursday morning at 1:20am I was browsing on the computer before bed, when a breaking announcement came in about a shooting at FSU. Seriously, my heart stopped yet at the same time felt as if it was jumping out of my chest. I grabbed my phone to call her. She had texted me at 12:50 that I hadn't heard come in. "I know you'll hear, so just letting you know I am ok." I talked to her, but nothing can get over the mommy guilt of what if she had been involved and was texting me for 30 minutes and I didn't answer.
Over last few days, I've gotten a few crying jags just thinking about it. Hug them tight when they come home for Thanksgiving. I know I will. I will send her off with a hug and a kiss. Sometimes when she has been home for the weekend, I find myself a bit peeved and ready for her to go back to school. She can be very judgmental of me, and a long weekend pushes my buttons. I promise myself I won't let this happen. There are 2 kids still in the hospital. I am thanking God this Thanksgiving and holiday season that mine isn't one of them.