Parents...make up your minds!

[Missy1961]

But we used to lock up our mentally ill, violent people back then - now we leave them on the streets, and they go to malls looking for their basic needs. Of course neither way is/was right. I walked to school when I was 5, but my mom now tells me that she hid behind trees and followed me

As NHdisneylover noted, this is unfair. Kids are not in danger from that kind of person. Nor are they in danger from every stranger or person that talks to them. It's just that in our 24 hour media world, we hear more about kids being abducted by strangers. They are more likely to be abused or abducted by someone they know. So whether they walk to school, or sit alone at a table in the mall, or ride their bikes in their neighborhood, the mentally ill person who isn't locked up isn't the likely suspect. It's dad or mom or grandpa or uncle or the guy they know from the neighborhood.

And please don't blame the media for this perception either. If people didn't watch this stuff, they'd certainly show it less.

 

[DisneyOma]

The chance of a 6 yr old being abducted is very, very slim. I guess some of my point is by age 5 or 6 we would not have allowed ourselves to be abducted.

How old was Adam Walsh?

I really hate this kind of prejudice. The VAST majority of people who commit crimes in the US are not people who would have ever been "locked up" as mentally ill beforehand. While some may argue that anyone who abducts a child or murders, etc is mentally ill, they are rarely so in the classic, unable to function in society sense.

The fact is mentally ill are more likely to be victims of crime than the general population and less likely to commit violent crimes than the general population. Statements like yours, falsely attributing violent crime levels to those with mental illnesses only serve to stereotype and harm a population which is already at risk for being victimized and discriminated against. (and individual abduction, etc are lower now than they were back when we "locked up" mentally ill instead of treating them with dignity as humans, by the way)

As NHdisneylover noted, this is unfair. Kids are not in danger from that kind of person. Nor are they in danger from every stranger or person that talks to them. It's just that in our 24 hour media world, we hear more about kids being abducted by strangers. They are more likely to be abused or abducted by someone they know. So whether they walk to school, or sit alone at a table in the mall, or ride their bikes in their neighborhood, the mentally ill person who isn't locked up isn't the likely suspect. It's dad or mom or grandpa or uncle or the guy they know from the neighborhood.

And please don't blame the media for this perception either. If people didn't watch this stuff, they'd certainly show it less.

To all three - my apologies for how I worded my post - what I meant was that anyone 'deviant' from society (and back then we were just told they were crazy) in the past was sent away, locked up, etc. I believe most were mentally ill, emotionally unstable, etc. Now of course we have the extra layer of herioin drug addiction and everything that goes with that. But I have one question - if someone is violent, hurting others, molesting children, etc, don't you think there are some mental issues going on?

 

[ronandannette]

I really hate this kind of prejudice. The VAST majority of people who commit crimes in the US are not people who would have ever been "locked up" as mentally ill beforehand. While some may argue that anyone who abducts a child or murders, etc is mentally ill, they are rarely so in the classic, unable to function in society sense.

The fact is mentally ill are more likely to be victims of crime than the general population and less likely to commit violent crimes than the general population. Statements like yours, falsely attributing violent crime levels to those with mental illnesses only serve to stereotype and harm a population which is already at risk for being victimized and discriminated against. (and individual abduction, etc are lower now than they were back when we "locked up" mentally ill instead of treating them with dignity as humans, by the way)

I understand your opinion and realize you are an extremely compassionate person, but isolated anecdotes cannot be totally disregarded. The most heinous crime in the recent collective memory of our nation was committed by a diagnosed schizophrenic, wilfully rejecting meds and treatment, who murdered, beheaded and cannibalized a fellow passenger on a bus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Tim_McLean
Current public policy that is both unwilling and unable to institutionalize/detain/compel treatment until after crimes have been committed, doesn't adequately address this complex issue.

But FWIW, the OP's concern was not really a reference to persons who may have been mentally ill; the threats she mentioned (drugs and guns) are ethnic-gang related, which is unfortunately a serious concern in Canada's major cities.

 

[Art 1]

How old was Adam Walsh?


Don't know, 12 maybe. I said it's very very slim chance a 2 year old will be abducted. The percentages of a 12 year old being kidnapped are so small it might register as 0.


To all three - my apologies for how I worded my post - what I meant was that anyone 'deviant' from society (and back then we were just told they were crazy) in the past was sent away, locked up, etc. I believe most were mentally ill, emotionally unstable, etc. Now of course we have the extra layer of herioin drug addiction and everything that goes with that. But I have one question - if someone is violent, hurting others, molesting children, etc, don't you think there are some mental issues going on?

 

[mummabear]

My son once SCREAMED "You are not my papa!!!!!!" in a public place in the middle of a tantrum when his dad picked him up to leave. DH and DS don't look alike to those who don't know them. No one stopped them. Know why? Because many MANY children will do exactly that at some point with their own parent. It's almost a rite of passage, and it's one no one knows how kids know to do it. We didn't talk about "stranger danger" with DS; kids are at far more risk from those in their inner circle, and he was never alone anyway. Our slow steps to independence have been taken at the YMCA and Disney, both of which have great methods for kid-finding. And at older ages than 6. Anyway, because we never taught him anything specific to yell if being taken (especially at that age), we have no idea how he came up wth that whammy, but plenty of other kids we know (but DS doesn't) have done exactly the same thing with their parents, so it's kinda weird.

I think you would see a difference between a child throwing a tantrum and yelling something during that to a child from nowhere screaming while kicking and biting the person. But you are right who knows.
We take calculated risks everyday, we put them in cars, we send them to school (and how many kids have died at school or gone missing?)

 

[Dread Pirate]

Good grief. I'm totally on cijay's side here. She gave 3 examples of really weird parenting IMO.

If you aren't comfortable with your child being approached by a store employee, don't leave them alone in a store.

Supervise your child on an escalator by being with them to help them if they get in trouble. Watching them die from the top won't do a thing.

If you don't want strangers to talk to your child, don't leave them out of your sight line in public places.

And if you don't care that your child might get kidnapped, do ahead and leave them alone while you are no where near. I'm sure you've all heard of Madeline McCann who had parents who cared so little about her they left her while they went out for dinner in Portugal. (yes, I blame them for putting the child in danger)

 

[RedHatDisney]

Check out The Charlie Project website. Of course young children are at risk: Predators and accidents.

 

[Missy1961]

Adam Walsh was 6.

 

[Hrhpd]

Adam Walsh was 6.

The fact that people have to use a 34 year old abduction as an example of how dangerous it is for kids out there actually suggests that abductions are relatively rare.

Studies have shown over and over again that the world is actually safer now than it was 30 years ago, we just hear about everything that happens due to global media coverage. According to David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes against Children Research Center and a professor of sociology at the University of New Hampshire, stranger abduction accounts for only 1 hundreth of one percent of missing children.

Yes it can happen, but I can also win Powerball twice in one year. I can happen, but the odds are astronomical that it won't happen.

 

[Gracie09]

The fact that people have to use a 34 year old abduction as an example of how dangerous it is for kids out there actually suggests that abductions are relatively rare.

Studies have shown over and over again that the world is actually safer now than it was 30 years ago, we just hear about everything that happens due to global media coverage. According to David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes against Children Research Center and a professor of sociology at the University of New Hampshire, stranger abduction accounts for only 1 hundreth of one percent of missing children.

Yes it can happen, but I can also win Powerball twice in one year. I can happen, but the odds are astronomical that it won't happen.

the national center of missing and exploited children has recommended not teaching stranger danger as it is ineffective and counter productive. Also less than 1% of the cases they have worked on are stranger abductions. The vast majority are run aways and then family/friend kidnappings.

 

[amylock]

OP (cijay) - so sorry you are being blasted here. In the first two situations, had you done NOTHING and then talked about it here, people would be saying "why didn't you help? why didn't you say something about the kid on the escalator? People like you are the problem!" I don't think talking to a little kid in the food court was a big deal, but that can go either way depending on the parent (then again, if you leave your kid in the food court, you are partially to blame if someone merely talks to your kid).