Parents, how do you enforce your kids bedtime?

[mommaU4]

This was sort of inspired by the "cry it out" thread, which I didn't actually read though because my kids are older now. But bedtime is still such a chore! I hate it. It's one excuse after another. It typically takes about a half an hour to get everyone settled in bed and then they won't fall asleep for another 30-60 minutes! Especially my twins who share a room. They like to stay awake and talk and play half the night. I have tried several things but nothing seems to work. Not even a good old fashioned spanking which usually just the mere mention of that does wonders.

The kids ages are 5,5,9, and 11. Their bedtime on a school night is 8:00 p.m. If anyone has any tricks that have worked for them I'd love to hear them. Thanks.

 

[TiggerPiglet]

The hard part is you really can't make them "go to sleep". I just make sure they're in their beds at their bedtime (DD 6 is at 8) (DD 10 is at 8:30). I guess my trick would be that I start having them get ready for bed about 15 - 20 minutes beforehand and then once in bed, I have their doors closed and all lights out. Like I said, you really can't make them fall asleep, but at least when they're laying in bed, their resting at the very least

Is it possible to separate your twins? I know on the weekends every once in a while we'll let the two girls sleep in the same room and they're up all night talking, lol. It's really hard to have two kids in the same room and not talk

 

[golfgal]

What time do they have to get up in the morning? Maybe they are just going to bed too early? I don't know, bedtime was bedtime at our house and we had our routine. We didn't give into their "mom can I have another drink" things I guess so they didn't become an issue. When they were little bedtime was about 8:00 and we always put them to bed with books to read/look at. They would be out in no time. Now that they are older they are lights out at 9:00 but they usually go to bed around 8:30 and read for 1/2 hour.

 

[monkeyboy]

cough syrup

 

[MoniqueU]

What time do your kids have to wake up? That seems like a pretty early bedtime especially for the oldest 2 unless they are having to get up at 5 am or something. Maybe your kids just aren't tired and don't require as much sleep especially that early?
My kids are up between 6:30 and 7:00 and they have a 9:00 bedtime. Now that is the time I tell them to go to their rooms and go to sleep. Sometimes especially my youngest will stay up, she's a night owl. But as long as they are playing quietly and not grumpy in the morning and falling asleep in their cheerios that works for me.

 

[TottenKing]

cough syrup

LMAO. Good one.

I agree that just getting them in bed is pretty good. Kids are so active that they don't slow down before they get in bed and have to wind down once they get there. If they're not worn out in the mornings, you're probably doing A-OK.

My DS7 is super-hyper and he's in bed at least a half hour before he falls asleep. I've found this to be the case even if he stays up later.

Also, milk is a natural sleep aid.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't have a set bedtime anymore, they are 9 & 14. It is more like we say "time for bed" and then they go to bed. Some nights we are up later than others....

Like tonight, for example, we are making dinner at 7:40pm. By the time we eat, clean up, shower and bed it will be a late night tonight.

I do try and have a set "shower time" for 9yodd at 7:30pm, though. Makes it easier.

 

[kilee]

I actually don't have a "set" bedtime for my 12 year old. The rule is he has to be in bed by 11pm at the latest. I have to add- he gets up for school with no problems, gets good grades, and has no issues. If he did- then this wouldn't be the way we did things. Some nights he waits until 11pm and others he'll go at 8:30 (tonight he went to bed at 8pm- he's coming down w/ cold and he was tired).

When ds did have a bedtime (which was up until summer)- for every minute late he went to bed- he had to go to bed 5 minutes earlier the next night. I allowed a 5 minute window. So if bedtime was 9:00 pm-- he had until 9:05 pm to get to bed. If he procrastinated for 20 minutes he was over by 15 minutes--- this meant the next night he was in bed before 8 pm. Which he HATED- so after once or twice- he usually started his routine a few minutes early and it ended that whole issue.

8pm does seem awfully early for an 11yr old- on that one maybe you could consider an extra 30-60 minutes just for being more mature.

 

[mommaU4]

What time do your kids have to wake up? That seems like a pretty early bedtime especially for the oldest 2 unless they are having to get up at 5 am or something. Maybe your kids just aren't tired and don't require as much sleep especially that early?
My kids are up between 6:30 and 7:00 and they have a 9:00 bedtime. Now that is the time I tell them to go to their rooms and go to sleep. Sometimes especially my youngest will stay up, she's a night owl. But as long as they are playing quietly and not grumpy in the morning and falling asleep in their cheerios that works for me.

My DS11 wakes up about 6 a.m. all by himself, I don't wake him up that early. DD9, DD5, and DD5 all wake up around 7 a.m.
I guess maybe I should consider letting them stay up later, especially the two older ones. But then if I let the older two stay up the twins will want to as well. They don't seem to fall asleep until around 9 p.m. anyways so maybe we should make that the new bedtime.

BTW, loved the cough syrup idea monkeyboy. I'll have to keep that in mind for future reference, if not for them then for me!!

 

[aprilgail2]

8pm seems really early for an 11 year old.
My 6 year old has never had a set bedtime, she falls asleep when/where she falls asleep....last week they were off from school she didn't go to bed before midnight all week and she gets up in the mornings no problem...the longest she sleeps is 8-9 hours so if I put her in at 8pm I would be up with her between 4-5am!! I would rather she went in at 10 and got up at 630!

 

[MzDiz]

Every minute that they stay up past the time they know they're supposed to be in bed, I send them to bed that much earlier the next night. After a few days of that, they're getting to bed at 7:30 and the message sinks in.

 

[Disneyglobegirl]

Bed time use to be a problem here but now it is easy - the rules are TV off , teeth brushed and they must be in bed at 8 however they do not have to go to sleep - they are allowed to read until 9. It relaxes them and they have no problems getting to sleep plus they get some daily reading in.

 

[Stacerita]

Am I a bad mom because we have no bedtime here? The sweetpea has never really had a bedtime. Both of us tend to be night owls and early birds (not by choice). In order for me to help her get ready for school, she needs to be up by 545am. With a early morning like that, she will generally be in bed by 10pm. Sometimes she will say she is tired and go to be earlier. If there are no morning plans, we might stay up later than normal. The reason for no bedtime is totally my fault. I suffer from insomnia so I go on very little sleep and tend to keep very odd hours. The sweetpea has picked up some habits from me. But it works out ok for her. Shes not grumpy (no more than if she got to be early) and she is able to have a full day. Just to let you know, the sweetpea just turned 10. 8pm does seem a little early for your 9 & 11 year old. You might want to consider a slighty later bedtime for your two older kids. If they are sleepier, they might go to be faster. Play around with the bedtimes.

 

[oogieboogie]

My kids are 7 and 5 and on school nights they have to be in bed by 9pm. I start telling them 15 minutes before and tell them that they need to finish up what they're doing/playing. 10 minutes before 9pm, they have to start getting ready - change clothes, brush teeth, get bed ready, etc. By the time they're done it's 9pm already, and they usually get 5-10 minutes of "giggle time". Once giggle time is over, they have to be quiet, no more talking, no more noises, lights out, even if they're not sleepy. Usually once that time comes, it only takes them less than 5 minutes to drop asleep.

Now, on weekends, holidays, and on vacation that rule goes out the door. They're allowed to sleep a little later than normal, sleep in the next day, etc.

There are days they're more rambunctious than others and when that happens, I start my countdown timing and then they start losing privileges. I'll say something like: "I'm counting to 20, and if I get to 20 and I still hear talking, then both of you will lose 1 hour of computer/video game time!" That usually gets them quiet real quick because they hate losing their game time. LOL.

 

[TottenKing]

Am I a bad mom because we have no bedtime here?

I don't think anyone could say you're a bad mom for something like that. While a lot of kids would suffer from not having a regular bedtime, you know your kid best. Some people have different sleep needs and internal clocks. (For instance, despite my having a regular job...meaning morning job...for at least ten years, I still have to stay up late.) My ideal job would be one where I could work from about noon until 8:00 p.m. then stay up until about 3:00 a.m. doing anything else I have to do.

 

[mudnuri]

Well,

My DD's are 8 & 9, dd8 will go to bed at 8pm like clockwork everynight. She needs her sleep and by 8pm she is ready for bed.

dd9- ferget it. She doesnt fall asleep at 8pm, usually by 9-930 she's asleep. What I have decided was- she may be like me, I can't sleep at night. i'm a night person, she is just like me. Now, at 8pm she can read until she falls asleep. She can have her stereo on quietly, but must stay in bed. This has stopped a lot of yelling, bickering and begging for her to go to bed, and she still is able to get up at 6am with no alarm clock and be in a good mood.

It's a battle I'm not willing to fight I guess??

Brandy

 

[CathrynRose]

This was sort of inspired by the "cry it out" thread, which I didn't actually read though because my kids are older now. But bedtime is still such a chore! I hate it. It's one excuse after another. It typically takes about a half an hour to get everyone settled in bed and then they won't fall asleep for another 30-60 minutes! Especially my twins who share a room. They like to stay awake and talk and play half the night. I have tried several things but nothing seems to work. Not even a good old fashioned spanking which usually just the mere mention of that does wonders.

The kids ages are 5,5,9, and 11. Their bedtime on a school night is 8:00 p.m. If anyone has any tricks that have worked for them I'd love to hear them. Thanks.

I dont make them "go to sleep" I make them go in their room. I dont care if they sit up all night in there - but they're in their room by a certain time.

But - my boys are 14 and 10 - and I dont have much of a bedtime for either one of them, anymore. They know when they're tired. they know when they have to get up in the morning. Theyre the ones whom are going to pay for being a night-owl. I would -like- them to be in bed by 9-10ish, but I have a 14 y/o who sits on the phone until the wee- hours.

So, when I *did* have a bedtime - it was only to get them in their room.

 

[CathrynRose]

cough syrup

LOLOL!

A swig of benadryl, each, should do the trick!

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

DD9 has to be in bed by 8:00. As she has gotten older she has tried to stay up later, but if she doesn't get her sleep in, she is very cranky and doesn't do so well at school. The funny thing is, on the weekends she will say she is sleepy and just jump in bed around 8:30. But during the school week, it is a battle. Rules are, tv off, pc off, music off. She is allowed to read. But if by 9:00 she is not sleeping or she keeps jumping out of bed, she will have to be in bed by 7:00 PM the next night, so she knows the rules and doesn't want to have to be in bed so early the next night. The battle ends when that rule is laid out

 

[tw1nsmom]

I thought I'd add a slightly different perspective. For some children (not all), if they stay up too late, they have a harder time going to sleep. It's not too different from a cranky toddler who is overstimulated and wound up from not enough sleep. Especially for your younger children, if they're having trouble getting up in the morning, I might try a slightly earlier bedtime. Some children just need more sleep than others.

My kids are 5 1/2, and they start getting ready for bed at 7pm and are in bed by 7:30. We make sure the time after dinner is really calm and we have a bedtime/story ritual that calms them down. They sleep all night and ussually wake up by themselves somewhere between 5:30 and 6am. This works for us. If we let them stay up later, they have a harder time going to sleep, and they ussually get up several times during the night. On those nights, when 6:15am rolls around (the time they need to get up for school), they don't want to get up and are cranky and tired.

My doctor says that the average 5 year old (there are certainly exceptions) needs between 9 and 10 1/2 hours sleep. When those children that need more sleep are sleep deprived, they can end up exhibiting behaviors that are similar to some learning disabilities. Most often ADHD. Some children get more hyper and unfocused if they're overtired, instead of cranky and lithargic.