Parenting question *Update pg 3, #40*

[Stitch65]

So. Here's the story. My 5 yr old daughter has been potty trained for over a year. Then we had the brilliant idea to let her sleep over at her aunt's (my husband's sister) house with her 6 yr old brother. My daughter is the type to wait until the last minute and then bolt for the bathroom. Well, she had an accident (which she NEVER has) and I'm guessing it was becuase of a strange house, didn't know where the bathroom was. So my BRILLIANT sister-in-law puts her in a DIAPER! A DIAPER! So it's been a month since this and she has at LEAST 3 accidents a day now. I am so ticked off at my SIL. I'm literally back to the potty chart and bribes of disney dollars.

And yes, my SIL has kids of her own, so being kidless is not an excuse. I am soo mad. So I'm going to listen to mouse house radio, plan my trip,and do my disney mantra "36 days to go, 36 days to go"

Any advice on the re-potty training?

TIA

 

[sajetto]

Oh lord. I don't know what to say except that I'd be mad as hell if my SIL put my potty trained kid in a diaper That is, if I had one

First of all, I'd be asking what my SIL was thinking!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

First thing I would do is a trip to the doctor to make sure there is no bladder infection.

Then as far as the husband's sis... That is freakin' weird to do to someone's kid.

 

[RitaZ.]

First thing I would do is a trip to the doctor to make sure there is no bladder infection.

Then as far as the husband's sis... That is freakin' weird to do to someone's kid.

I agree, take her to make sure it isn't a bladder infection. It's really strange to put a diaper on a 5 yr. old because they had an accident.

 

[beckmrk04]

I'm all for you!! I would have a cow! How humiliating for your poor dd!

I agree with the other posters- take her the doc and just make sure there is no infection going on, and maybe they would have a suggestion?

Ugh. So sorry- what a pain!

Have you talked to your DD about why she's not making it? Does she have a reason? I mean, even at 5 kids will usually have some sort of explanation.

 

[Nancy]

If she just started to have accidents I would be taking her to the doctor, make sure there isn't a medical reason.

You're going to Disney in about 1 month? Maybe use doing something special at Disney as a reward?

 

[FreshTressa]

It was just this one accident, right?

 

[Nancy]

It was just this one accident, right?

She stated that her DD was now having about 3 accidents a day.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I agree that you should bring her to the dr to rule out a bladder infection or other health issue. Is she just having the accidents during the daytime or at night?

How totally strange of your SIL to put her in a diaper. What was her reasoning?

 

[Mishetta]

I have no advice but feel your pain! My DS (4) is a special needs child & it took forever to pottie train him. He had it down for about a month & I was pretty confident messing himself was a thing of the past. So.....I took his binky away. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb on my part! Now he's pee'ing on himself again. I kept underwear on him but I was sick of the mess & I don't want to stink up the house with urine, so I went back to pull-ups. Now he's just happy as a clam to urinate in his pull-up (but thankfully he's doing the 'other' business in the toilet.) Sad part is that I keep reminding him if he has to pee & he keeps saying 'no.' I have brought back the bribes too but he doesn't seem to care!

I will keep an eye on this thread to see if someone gives you some good advice so that I can follow it too!

 

[Stitch65]

The doctor is a good idea, I never thought of a bladder infection.

I did ask her why, and she gives me answers like "we go potty on the potty chair." And I said, "I know, honey, but why didn't you?" And she'll respond "I forgot."

I guess I just assumed it was the diaper since the accidents started after the aunt's house. Could be a freak coincidence. Could have been a bubble bath gone bad. Well, I'm calling first thing, and I'll let you know when we see the doc (as if you're all dying to know. )

 

[ZanneMarie]

I'm glad that you will be visiting the doctor. Had a similar thing with my DS when he was almost 5 (minus the diaper and crazy SIL!)

He started having accidents (had been daytime potty trained for a year) and just seemed to be too lazy to get up and go the the bathroom in time. I decided I was going to rule out anything medical before I started getting stern with him...not that I really believed there was really anything wrong.

Well, several rounds of antibiotics, many trips to the urologist and some testing it was determined that he had a major infection and had kidney reflux that was causing the infections and kidney damage. Lovely. I am glad I checked with the doctor.

I hope that it is not anything so major and unfortunately I have no suggestions for 're-training' if that is what it comnes down to. Good Luck!

 

[DVC Jen]

Good luck. I hope it isn't a bladder infection.

One thing we do at the preschool when we get a child old enough to be potty trained but they for some reason refuse to use the toilet or have regressed it tell them (not in a scolding way but very matter of fact) that they are a big boy/girl now and they know how to use the potty. Since they made the decision to "take care of thier business" in their pants they are going to have to clean themselves up.

This may sound mean..but it really isn't. It lets them realize just how yucky it is and that there are consequences to their actions.

Just remember to not shame the child..but be totally matter of fact about it.

 

[cstraub]

I would check on the bladder or UTI. I can't imagine that any 5 year old who has been potty trained for awhile would regress and have accidents after being put in a diaper once. If the child is special needs child then I could understand but most children have been potty trained for well over a year by age 5.

What does your DD say when you ask her why she is having accidents? Does she say it hurts when she goes or is she having trouble holding it? I have to believe that at age 5 there has to be a medical reason. It may just be a coincendence that your SIL put her in the diaper. I have a hunch thew diaper it unrelated to her continuing to have accidents.

Have her checked for diabetes when you are at the doctors too. My friends son had type one diabetes at age 6. One of his syptoms was wetting himself. The sugars are not being processed properly so the body gets rid of them through the urine.

Keep us posted and I hope you find out fast what's going on.

 

[Stitch65]

Thanks everyone. It's only accidents during the day, and it's only potty accidents. She makes it in time for #2. I do have her clean herself up (not that it's much when it is just potty) and she gets new underwear and pants (and mom is doing a lot of laundry). If it's nothing medical and comes down to re-training, we made up a potty chart and everytime she goes potty on the chair she gets a sticker. Now, she knows disney is coming up in a month, and she knows what disney dollars are, so I told her for every sticker she gets a disney dollar (now unbeknownst to her, we were giving her 25 disney dollars anyway and after the 25 are gone, I'm hoping she's trained). She loves the idea of having her own money, so hopefully that'll work. Again that's if nothing medical is going on.

 

[DisneyPhD]

My DD was what some people might consider a late potty trainer. (she was 3 years and 4 months I think.) However when she had it, she had it. (it sounds like the case with your DD too.)

She is now 5 and if someone put her in a diaper I think that would humiluate her beyond words. I would not be suprized if she regressed out of embarsement. I understand your frustation towards SIL.

Check out the Dr. thing for her.

Have a talk with her about how she is feeling. Comfort and encourage her. Let her know that you think they way her aunt handeled the situation was wrong. You do NOT think she is baby.

I agree about DVC Jen and taking responibilty for cleaning up after herself.

Best of luck.

 

[Stitch65]

Well, she was a late potty trainer. She was 4... my son who is special needs was 4.5 before he potty trained. And when she finally got it, she got it. NO accidents. And then the diaper incident, and I wouldn't put it past my SIL to have said something condescending to her. I won't confront my SIL, believe me, it's not worth it. However, there's no more sleep overs, or babysitting that's for sure.

I swear, my 14 yr old babysitter is more mature at babysitting than my SIL. Now before you ask "Why in the bleep did you let her keep them overnight?" Well, I was out of state visiting my dad and my hubby set up the whole babysitting thing. All I know, I was sick to my stomach when I heard what she did.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Well, she was a late potty trainer. She was 4... my son who is special needs was 4.5 before he potty trained. And when she finally got it, she got it. NO accidents. And then the diaper incident, and I wouldn't put it past my SIL to have said something condescending to her. I won't confront my SIL, believe me, it's not worth it. However, there's no more sleep overs, or babysitting that's for sure.

I swear, my 14 yr old babysitter is more mature at babysitting than my SIL. Now before you ask "Why in the bleep did you let her keep them overnight?" Well, I was out of state visiting my dad and my hubby set up the whole babysitting thing. All I know, I was sick to my stomach when I heard what she did.

I thought she was like my DD.

Don't kick yourself too hard for letting her stay at SIL. That was not your fault. Just let her know that YOU do not think like SIL.

 

[Aidensmom]

I have a little different opinion than the other posters, because I have a similar problem with my son.

Young children sometimes want to feel "babied" again. My MIL tends to baby my son, and when he stays there overnight, it can take weeks sometimes to undo the "damage". He comes back home wanting help getting dressed, wanting to drink from a sippy cup, not wanting to bathe himself, wanting to be carried everywhere......

Your child may be taking some comfort in feeling like a "baby" again, and if that is the case, you have to approach it from that angle. Let her know how much you love her and always will no matter how old she is, and how proud you are of her for all the more "grown up" things she can do, etc.

 

[Stacerita]

Strange thing for your SIL to do. She didnt think to just clean her up and show her where the potty was or leave lights on for her? Odd.