Parenting question *Update pg 3, #40*

[poohandwendy]

The next time your SIL accidentally spills a drop of anything in your presence, pull out a childs bib and tie it tightly around her neck.

I would be mad too, that was a very bad call on her part.

 

[Stitch65]

I have NO idea why a diaper was a good idea to her. She claimed she was protecting the couch. Glad the couch is more important than her niece's self esteem.

BTW, my SIL tends to be a few fries short of a happy meal... if ya know what I mean.

And the bib comment made me laugh my you know what off. Thanks for the smile!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

The next time your SIL accidentally spills a drop of anything in your presence, pull out a childs bib and tie it tightly around her neck.

I would be mad too, that was a very bad call on her part.

Wendy, I like you! I'm scared to death of you, but I like you!

 

[CEDmom]

Wow, that's crazy. Kids have accidents. My 6 1/2 yo has been potty trained for over 3 years and she still occasionally has an accident. What we do to prevent most of them is to insist our DD use the bathroom before we go anywhere or when we've been out for a while. Usually if I have to go I drag her with me and surprise surprise she goes as well. I don't know whether I'd do a chart and all that since at 5 she's old enough to know to try to get to the bathroom.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Wendy, I like you! I'm scared to death of you, but I like you!

I second that. I need to remember to always keep you on my side.

 

[Mishetta]

The next time your SIL accidentally spills a drop of anything in your presence, pull out a childs bib and tie it tightly around her neck.

Oh my! This comment almost made me have an accident! Maybe I should wear a diaper when I read the DIS!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Oh my! This comment almost made me have an accident! Maybe I should wear a diaper when I read the DIS!

Isn't that the truth.

And yep, Phd, that's a good way of putting it!

Wendy, you know we love you, and your kittens, of course!

 

[mickeyboat]

Poor thing!

DD's are 5 and 6, and were late trainer - nighttime training took forever. Hannah still has accidents every once in a while at night (like twice a year), usually when she drinks too much right before bed time, and falls asleep without emptying her bladder. It happens almost every time she drinks Fruit2O - so she doesn't get that anymore. Emily sometimes get preoccupied and waits until the last minute to get to the bathroom, and will pee on her clothes as she is ripping them off. This happens more in the winter time when she forgets that when she comes in from outside she has two more layers of clothing to get off.

My girls would be absolutely humiliated beyond comprehension if they had to wear a diaper. I can't believe your SIL did that to her. No wonder she has regressed.

I don't have any advice other than what has already been suggested. Definitely bring her to the doctor to rule out a medical cause. If none exists, I bet the sticker / reward chart will work. Good luck.

Denae

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Jake still wears Goodnights at night because he will have the occasional accident and he'd rather wear them than have an accident. It's probably only once a month unless he's sick, but he'll wear a pair for a few nights since he puts them on just before bed and takes them off first thing in the morning. I was a bedwetter and I know all about waking up with wet sheets and wish they had of been around when I was young. But of course that's not the same thing as diapers!

One thing that was giving him a problem was snack mix. For awhile he was having that every night before bedtime and then having an accident and we finally figured out that the high salt content was making him retain water and he then needed to go all at once during the night and wasn't waking up in time to go (that's when we put him in the bedwetting pants again, which he doesn't mind).

So if your DD checks out ok at the dr, look at her diet, too. Make sure with the warmer weather than she's not tanking up on Gatorade, snack mix, etc that might make her retain water that she then has a harder time controlling. Just a thought.

 

[Stitch65]

Wow, that's crazy. Kids have accidents. My 6 1/2 yo has been potty trained for over 3 years and she still occasionally has an accident. What we do to prevent most of them is to insist our DD use the bathroom before we go anywhere or when we've been out for a while. Usually if I have to go I drag her with me and surprise surprise she goes as well. I don't know whether I'd do a chart and all that since at 5 she's old enough to know to try to get to the bathroom.

The thing is these are "accidents" that include her squatting in the hallway right outside the bathroom. The chart is more for rewarding "no" accidents... not really trying to teach her to use the bathroom, she knows how!

And I'm that mom in the store you always overhear "Let's at least try to go potty!"

 

[CEDmom]

The thing is these are "accidents" that include her squatting in the hallway right outside the bathroom. The chart is more for rewarding "no" accidents... not really trying to teach her to use the bathroom, she knows how!

And I'm that mom in the store you always overhear "Let's at least try to go potty!"

Sorry I misunderstood the use of the chart. It makes a lot more sense the way you're doing it. For what it's worth I still do the potty dance right outside the bathroom on occasion. She'll come around with your support. Don't know if the same can be said for your SIL. Wonder how she'd feel if someone did that to one of her kids.

 

[Stitch65]

ok, well not LONG awaited, but anywho...

Everything is neg... No diabetes, no bladder infection.


So, here's my question, do I stick with my chart idea? OR Do I take away priveleges?

 

[beckmrk04]

ok, well not LONG awaited, but anywho...

Everything is neg... No diabetes, no bladder infection.


So, here's my question, do I stick with my chart idea? OR Do I take away priveleges?

I would stick with the chart, to be honest... I don't think punishing her is the way to go, especially if there is no medical issue and maybe this was triggered by the diaper event.

PD and Hugs no matter which you decide! I'm sure this is very frustrating!

 

[disneymom3]

You said DD is five right? At this point what I would do is sit down and have a calm chat with her. I would tell her she is getting the 25 Disney $ anyway (so she doesn't freak that she is not getting them.) But then I would tell her that I know she is a big girl and that she knows how to take care of going potty on her own. I would then sit back and let her do it. If she has an accident she cleans up as you have said you are already doing. If she makes it, great but no big deal. Just what is expected. And the hardest part of this is from then on, you have to stay out of it.

I am an early childhood consultant and one of the classes I teach is toilet learning. DD probably did get pretty thrown off by the whole diaper thing I think what she is looking for from you right now is that you know she is capable and can handle it. You be confident in her and her confidence in herself will grow.

Good luck, mom. It's a hard job we do each day!

 

[DisneyPhD]

You said DD is five right? At this point what I would do is sit down and have a calm chat with her. I would tell her she is getting the 25 Disney $ anyway (so she doesn't freak that she is not getting them.) But then I would tell her that I know she is a big girl and that she knows how to take care of going potty on her own. I would then sit back and let her do it. If she has an accident she cleans up as you have said you are already doing. If she makes it, great but no big deal. Just what is expected. And the hardest part of this is from then on, you have to stay out of it.

I am an early childhood consultant and one of the classes I teach is toilet learning. DD probably did get pretty thrown off by the whole diaper thing I think what she is looking for from you right now is that you know she is capable and can handle it. You be confident in her and her confidence in herself will grow.

Good luck, mom. It's a hard job we do each day!

I agree, praise, encouragment, postive reinforcment, responsibilty for her self (and cleaning up after herself.) is the way to go.

Best of luck!

 

[Stitch65]

Thanks everyone! I'm going to have her start helping me with laundry, (pouring in the soap and setting the timer) so that she understands how many times we have to wash her clothes!

I am going to just keep telling her how proud I am of her, etc. I was always leaning against taking stuff away, it's just my big sister told me to do it that way, and in the absence of my mom I tend to go to big sis for advice. I don't want to punish my daughter, I'm afraid it'll make it worse.

Thanks again everyone!

 

[Hannathy]

Wow you guys are sure patient or super parents - not trying to be smart- I just know if any 5 year old I was taking care of was peeing on purpose outside the Bathroom when it was available I would not be that tolerant. She would certainly know I was not pleased and yes she would be cleaning it. 5 is kindergarten age if she did this in a school setting you think it would be acceptable. Now that all the tests are back IMO it is time to tell her plain and simple this will stop now. Why does she say she is going outside the bathroom? I think I am from a different generation than you folks and it shows. Good luck and I think your SIL is nuts but I guess we all have one of those.

 

[Stitch65]

It may seem I'm being too patient, however, maybe I didn't give enough back story?

My son has high-functioning autism, and my daughter has also been diagnosed with developmental delays (although she's catching up by leaps and bounds). She is in an Early Special Ed class, and does occasionally have accidents (which she is required to clean up). I guess my son just stretched my patience sooo much it's all flexible now.

 

[dbarker]

No punishment. She has already been punished. Lots of encouagement. Also, let her know that we all make mistakes and have accidents sometimes, not often, just sometimes. If you see her squatting, gently remind her she need to be in the bathroom. I would be very nonchalant about the accidents. She may have found a new way of getting attention. (jmho)

Good luck.

 

[Stitch65]

Update:

So she's down to one accident a week! I showed her the chart, and it worked for about 3 days. I explained it to her, put it up on the fridge and then proceeded to ignore it. She would run out of the bathroom yelling "I get a smilie!". It only took about 10 smilies and she was back into the swing of things.

And on a side note, SIL is never babysitting again!