Parenting advice needed re: friends

[always quiet]

I have talked about the new neighbors that have moved in this summer before (the girl who used to hop the fence to swim in another neighbors pool ). This girl acts in a way that I do not condone and I think is not appropriate for a 12 yr old. She dresses WAY to old for her age (showing lots of skin and extremely tight clothes) and always hangs around boys....lots of boys. There doesn't seem to be any real parental guidence. I know her mom is a single mom and when the mom is at work, the grandmother comes over to "watch" her. I don't know how much watching she does when she has come over our house, after 9pm, looking to see if her granddaughter is here!! She was even complaining yesterday to my oldest DD that the girl was going over this boys house and spending more than 3 hours there. Hello!! Ever hear of the word "NO!" Last night, my youngest DD, 9, starts telling me how she has seen this girl and a boy kissing....and they told her not to tell anyone! If they know enough to tell my daughter to keep it secret, they know they shouldn't be doing anything!! This boy is the kind of boy every mother DOESN'T want their daughter to go with. I overheard him talking to my son on Friday....something about he knows a girls who had sex in the woods!! He is in 7th grade for crying out loud!!!! I've seen him outside with the other kids...he acts like he's God's Gift to Woman!!

I have told my older 2 kids, who go to school with this girl, to try and distance themselves from her. This girl, in my opinion, is trouble waiting to happen. She acts way too old for her age and is given way too much freedom for me to feel comfortable with.

Do you think I'm doing the right thing? I don't want to embarass my kids and tell the girl she is not allowed to hang with my kids. I am hoping they will be able to handle this problem on their own.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

You are definitely doing the right thing. Keep the lines of communication about the situation open..... and look at it this way - it gives you a good example of how to teach your kids NOT to act.

 

[delswife]

Sounds like the poor girl is acting out for attention. Yes, you are doing the right thing. I wouldn't want my kids around a wild child like that. Kids give in to peer pressure, so you have to be careful who thier "peers" are. You only have one chance to raise your kids, don't fell badly about not allowing them to associate with this one. It really is too bad that she is behaving like this. I feel sorry for her.

 

[FreshTressa]

Good job, mom! That is exactly the right thing to do. When you demand kids do something, it causes one of two things to happen, they either rebel and do just the opposite, or they listen, but then never learn to think for themselves.

Let this poor girl be and example to your kids about what NOT to do. If you maintain a close relationship with your kids and keep on top of their behavior, you should have no problems.

It is so sad that that girl is allowed to act like that. You can't even say anything to her parents because they obviously don't care. She needs love and attention, and since she has no one in her family to give it to her, she is getting it from boys. And she is so young. I remember girls like that back when I was in school.