Parenting advice needed please

[momdisney]

My husband and I have always told our kids that as long as they are in college we will supply them a family car. They have to pay for oil changes and gas. When they get their degree in four years we will sign of the title to them. We justed traded cars and we our letting our daughter use a different car that will get her better gas mileage.
Here's the problem now, My daughter is getting married this June and she wants to let her husband have our car because he drives farther and she will take his. His car breaks down often and we are supplying her with a very nice safe car. I feel that getting married should not change our agreement but she is adamant that I am wrong because they will be married and should share everything.
I am wrong to think that the car should only be used primarily by her? Also the car is titled in my name and under my insurance.
Please let me know what you think.

 

[rewardsinlife]

Hm. Did she finish college?
If yes...then it is under your previous agreement that the car will be signed over to her at that time and she can do whatever she likes with it. You can't stop her from letting someone else borrow the car that is under her name.

If still in college.....then technically under your agreement you are still letting her borrow the "family" car and she will continue to have to pay for oil and gas. I do not believe your future son in law falls under the family until they are married off. After then..well you may have to have a meeting for adaptation of the rule..but technically the car is for her college education..not his.

If dropped out/ not currently taking classes then she no longer is under that contract since she can not possibly get a degree if she is not in college. She is not entitled to the family car at all.

Hopes this helps a little

 

[momdisney]

Thanks, She is a freshman this year so she has a while to go. We were hoping this car would last her for a long time. I know they will be married soon, perhaps it would have been better to just give it to them as a wedding gift but that's a much bigger gift then we wanted to give.
Ugg, I just wanted a safe car for her to drive to school.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

*sigh*. I don't know how to help you OP.

You can use insurance as an excuse. Your insurance probably covers any driver of the car, but you could say it only covers family. I'm guessing he is under 25 if she is only a freshmen, so adding him on the insurance could actually increase your premiums. (Younger guys are statistically more like to get tickets or crash so they have higher premiums).

In reality if they live together and not with you, then they could switch cars and you wouldn't know unless you did odometer spot checks.

If she is adult enough to get married, then she is adult enough for you to explain to her your feelings and for her to respect them.

 

[rewardsinlife]

Your welcome. Have you told her that the reason the agreement was put into place in the first place was so that you know she would be safe? Maybe give her a scenario to help her understand more from your point of view.

Example: you just got out of a night class you had to take for school. It is pouring rain, you pull onto the freeway and your boyfriend( or to be husband) s car suddenly breaks down on you while you are in the fast lane. Your car comes to an immediate halt. What do you do? Or car stops in the middle of a light intersection now what? Say you wouldnt necessarily have to worry about these things..and you shouldn't have to with the safer car. Especially being a woman ..that is just not a good thing to be stuck at night, alone, with a broken down car.

Maybe then she might thin her boyfriend is a dope for putting her in intentional harms way! ( j/k)

 

[mommasita]

Gosh, I don't know what I would do

I can understand you for sure. And definitely on her safety driving, no matter how far it may be...

 

[brewcrew80]

I used to be an auto insurance adjuster, and the insurance can and should absolutely be a reason to NOT allow the fiance to be a regular driver.

If he is going to be a regular driver on the vehicle he should be added on to the policy, which, if he was under 25, would be a substantial increase in premium. Insurance follows the vehicle, not the driver, so if he were to be involved in an accident, with another vehicle where he was at fault, it would be on your insurance. The first thing the insurance company would ask you is "is he a regular driver of this vehicle?" Once you say 'yes', they'd have grounds to deny the claim since he wasn't listed on the policy. ya don't want that.