Pageant question/vent

[tiggger1]

OK, I am probably going to get flamed for this but last night I went to a pageant (A Miss America Prelim) for a friend of the family..She was crowned last year and was giving up her crown.

Of the 15 competing for the crown more than half of the other girls should not been allowed on stage...
Every girl was absolutely beautiful but at least 5 girls looked like they have NEVER walked in heels before. 4 girls shoes were so big they "walked" out of the them. I was afraid that someone was going to break an ankle.

Most of the talent portion was truly painful to watch. Of the 7 girls that sang, only 2 were decent. The others were horrible. I felt very embarrassed for them, as did most of the audience. They were way off key or the song they chose was way to high for them. It reminded of the American Idol auditions....It was THAT BAD
The girl that won played the piano. She was amazing. You could tell that she wasn't a pageant girl because she did look a bit uncomfortable on stage ( and she was so shocked when they called her name) but she was truly the best...

What really gets me is that after the pageant that some of the girls were honestly shocked that they didn't win. One mother was complaining that her daughter was robbed and that she had the best voice on stage. Her daughter didn't even make most talented non finalist. They were taking about the pageant being fixed...

Talent counts for 40% of the score and if your talent stinks you dont have a chance. add to the fact that she couldn't walk in heels to save her life..

What I want to know is why no one told these girls that they needed help? They had weeks of rehearsals and 5 dress rehearsals.

Would you honestly let your daughter do a pageant if she was going embarrass herself?

 

[ajk912]

Eh. It can't hurt to try. I do agree watching those things is extremely painful (which is why I am shocked American Idol does so well in the ratings!!!). What sounds horrible to us sounds great to others which is why there are so many different genres of music.

As for the high heels, definitely, mom should have taught her kid to walk in heels before the event!

 

[tiggger1]

thanks, That is the thing that bugged me most. The fact that these girls were all dressed up to the nines but their shoes didnt fit. 2 girls were so uncomfortable in them that they were limping!!!

 

[Stacerita]

Sometimes people are so focused on one thing, that they forget the little things. Like shoes. Personally, those would be on top of my list, but its not for everyone. And now a lot of people don't wear heals that often. So it may have been the first time for some of them. To bad they didn't get a good pair and practice.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I got my daughter out of pageants at age 4...because it already started getting catty at that age...lol
But..yeah... I just hate it when the parents are more upset than the kids... not good showmanship....
About the singing... at least they tried

 

[RitaE]

How old were the "girls?" I'm totally clueless as to Miss America, I thought that was around college aged, which means that as a parent my permission isn't even relevant.

If it is younger, I really don't ever tell my kids that can't do an activity simply because they're bad at it. I figure most girls themselves will eventually figure out that if they want to score higher they'd better practice walking in heels and learn to twirl a baton or something. Either that, or they'll just give it up on their own.

Do they get judging sheets showing what the need to work on?

 

[Liberty Belle]

I wouldn't let my young daughter do a pagaent, period. And, I'd much rather see a cute little girl wobbling around in heels than one who walks in them all too well!

Little girls should be little girls.

 

[tiggger1]

How old were the "girls?" I'm totally clueless as to Miss America, I thought that was around college aged, which means that as a parent my permission isn't even relevant.

If it is younger, I really don't ever tell my kids that can't do an activity simply because they're bad at it. I figure most girls themselves will eventually figure out that if they want to score higher they'd better practice walking in heels and learn to twirl a baton or something. Either that, or they'll just give it up on their own.

Do they get judging sheets showing what the need to work on?

These girls are 17 (must be at least a senior in High school) to age 24.. most of the girls last night were 17-21

I wasn't talking about actual permission, more of if you knew your dd wasnt up to par talent wise, would you tell them?

 

[Liberty Belle]

These girls are 17 (must be at least a senior in High school) to age 24.. most of the girls last night were 17-21

I wasn't talking about actual permission, more of if you knew your dd wasnt up to par talent wise, would you tell them?

I'm so glad you mentioned that. I assumed, I guess because they couldn't walk in heels, that they were a lot younger.

 

[EMom]

I call it the "My Child's *%$& Don't Stink" Syndrome. MCSDSS

Growing up in East Texas during the era of baton twirling.....your life just was NOT complete unless you could twirl with ease and grace....We had a mama with two daughters who was legend in our town. They were older than me, more my DSis's age, but we still chat about them using the mama's overdone Southern accent to pronounce the girl's names just the way she did. You really had to feel sorry for the girls, as their mama was determined the become STARS!!!!! I'm sure those poor girls just wanted to crawl under the carpet on more than one occasion.

Mothers with MCSDSS are firmly convinced that the braying ******* sound coming from their child's mouth as they sing actually sounds like Celine Dion. They wonder why no one else can hear the gift that God so clearly bestowed upon their Chosen Child......jealously, obviously. Sure, that other girl hit every note, but her rendition had no......personality.....did it? Boring.

Mothers with MCSDSS also figure that no one will realize their child can't walk a straight line in heels because they will be overpowered by the girl's amazing beauty. (After all, she does favor her mama.) Yes, that one boring little singing girl was graceful and all, but her dress lacked....pizazz.....and you must have pizazz!

In other words, MCSDSS renders mothers (and fathers) unable to see what is right in front of them. Their child may be wonderful in many ways, but they are not perfect. The sad fact of life is, someone will almost always be prettier, smarter, more graceful, and more popular than your child. On the flip side, the odds are your child will be prettier, smarter, more graceful and more popular than a lot of other kids. It's just that your child can't be top dog ALL the time.

As wonderful as little Susie is, she just isn't the best at everything. And as a parent, it's our job to teach our kids that someday, someone is going to best them at something. Of course, they can use the defeat as an inspiration to train and do better next time. That's great! But we are doing them a disservice if we teach them that they are the be all and end all of the universe. They just aren't......except to us.

Long story short, if my DD was in a pageant.....and I pray she never wants to be.....and she bit at her talent, I'd find a kind way to let her know she needed to improve that talent or change it to something else. And if she still went on to do badly, then I'd say, "Well, you did your best," but I wouldn't badmouth girls who had outperformed her.

I guess I already have been through this when she was in competitive dance. They always won, though, so it doesn't count. But I remember one year at Nationals, we just knew they had lost. They had to get up at 4:00 a.m. to get ready. They were in kindergarten! I don't know what idiot made up the schedule and put the youngest ones first. Needless to say, they were dead on their feet and about to fall asleep when they performed that morning. I'll just say it......They bit. They came off and we said things like, "The audience really liked you!" because they did. DD asked if they did a good job and I told her it was not the best they'd ever done, but it was fine and we'd just have to wait and see what the judges thought.

We prepared them all day with, "It's about having a good time with your team," and "This is Nationals, so the competition is a lot tougher. If you don't win, it's okay because you did your best," etc. Lo and behold, they won! All I can say is, the other teams must have completely sucked when they got their chance, if that performance won first place. (We did see one, and they did bite, BTW.) You have never seen a group of more gobsmacked parents in all your life. But we never told them, "You were fantastic!" because they weren't. They just weren't.

 

[lulugirl]

Eh, I think pageants in general are pretty cheesy.
That said, I applaud anyone who has the guts to perform in front of an audience...... even if they stink.

 

[agnes!]

These girls are 17 (must be at least a senior in High school) to age 24.. most of the girls last night were 17-21

I wasn't talking about actual permission, more of if you knew your dd wasnt up to par talent wise, would you tell them?

Yes, I would and she knows it, but I'm talking about auditions for school things and the like (have never done pageants). I have told her some things that were wrong with an audition-piece, she was upset but I know I did the right thing. The world won't sugar-coat things for our children, I certainly won't for mine. It's actually kinder to tell our kids the truth. I don't like to waste others time, and I don't want them to waste my time either.

If she were terrible at something I would tell her. If she needed coaching, I'd get it for her, I don't care if it were softball or singing or whatever.

And I certainly would have my kid practice in HEELs before a pageant. Sheesh, that's just stupid.

agnes!

 

[Deb & Bill]

OP, you need to watch Little Miss Sunshine. That will explain it all to you.

 

[EMom]

Little Miss Sunshine is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen, partly because the bit about the pageants hit so close to home. There's always at least one poor girl (of whatever age) who enters....let's call her The Pageant Virgin....who has not a CLUE as to the cut-throat nature of pageants, where even a 5 y.o. can be a merciless and seasoned opponent. They are like a fawn thrown into a den of lions.

I once had a friend who competed in The Miss Texas USA Pageant. At that contest, she either won Most Photogenic or Miss Congeniality....can't remember which. She was a genuinely nice person and got into the pageant by winning a small local contest, which then sent her on to the Miss Texas USA one. She was a beauty, but knew she'd never win because she was much too short. So she went to do her best, meet some other girls and have a good time. She may have been the only one there with that attitude. She came back with eyes wide open. I'll never forget the quote, "That was some of the biggest bunch of 'witches' I've ever seen in my life! They were hiding each other's dresses, stealing makeup, unplugging curling irons......anything to make the other girls mess up. They were vicious!" She was relieved to make it out in one piece, I think.

 

[5Slays]

LOL! We got involved in the Miss MS pageant last year because a friend of ours won a preliminary and my DD was a princess for her. Each contestant has to have a prince/princess for the Miss MS pageant. It can be someone that they know or a child is picked for them.

Anyway, we went to one of the prelims this year and OMG, some of those girls, should have known better. One girl had a leopard print evening gown. That is all I am going to say about that.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Maybe some of them were there just to pad their resume for Vice President.

 

[c4a]

Pagents are a big thing in our area. Imo, it is a little freaky to see this beautiful girl wearing fake eye lashes, fake hair, tons of make-up, and a dress that easily costs thousands of dollars...and that is the little girls! They start them off as babies, months old...a baby with mascara and blusher...is strange. It isn't pretty...it's just wierd.
Perhaps, it was a group of girls who tried out as a "hoot"? Most of the girls around here who do the pagents have their own pagent coaches.

What I never understood is...the parents say that the scholarships money is unbelievable-but how great can it be if the parents have all that expense?
I suppose the girls are more poised...but they are seen as the "mean girls". And it isn't from jealousy, either. As one poster stated the mama's think their girl's @%#$ doesn't stink and neither do the girls. I just find it very sad.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

you need to watch Little Miss Sunshine. That will explain it all to you.

I saw this for the first time last week (rented it from the library) and OMG! I haven't laughed that hard at a movie in a long time.

That being said, although I don't think pageants should be abolished, I would certainely never put my child in one. DS is a very cute boy with long, long eyelashes and we've had people (usually random strangers) come up and ask us if he's doing print or commercial work. I tell them heck no..he may be cute, but I'm not going to put up with the hassle of commecials, printwork or any other kind of modeling. I don't want my son to grow up thinking he has to look a certain way, or dress a certain way to be liked, popular, etc.

 

[Took]

I agree that Little Miss Sunshine is a must-see for anyone even considering the paegent life for their little one. It's a hoot and makes a clear statement about the potential damage of these kinds of displays.

BTW, love the MCSDSS analysis, Emom. Dead on!

 

[Deb & Bill]

Another good one is Drop Dead Gorgeous with Kirstin Dunst and Denise Richards. Love the Swan float.