P & PD for DD1 please--see update post 14 & 25

[wdwmickey]

Hi all--

DD1 is devastated

A boy she likes & has liked since her freshman year told her today, that he is straight not gay as he has been telling her for 3 years. He even agreed to go to prom with her when she asked him on Monday. She sees them as brother/sister now. She is so hurt that he has been lying to her all this time.

This is the second time he has broken her heart (the first being when he told her the "big lie"). I don't really know how to help her, other than to ask for P & PD

 

[rlovew]

I am so sorry that she is hurting- I know it is hard to see those we love in pain and not be able to do much. She will be in my prayers.

Rebecca

 

[wdwmickey]

She feels like she lost her big brother/best friend all in one shot. Poor thing!

 

[mommy2mrb]

That's awful! give her a big hug from us! hopefully after she thinks about it over the weekend they can still be friends....I'm sure its hard for her to trust him again.
had he told other people he was "gay"?? if so, he's going to have a lot of explaining to do.
don't have any advice...maybe a bunch of ice cream! or pizza!

hope you feel better too, sounds like you both need a good night sleep

to you both!

 

[wdwmickey]

Already had pizza Ice cream will be after tonight's performance

Yes everyone in the school is under the impression he is gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). I'm afraid he got himself into a terrible mess 3 years ago and he couldn't figure out how to retract the original statement.

You couldn't pay me enough to be 17 again!

 

[DisneyBarlans]

Poor thing!! Boys can be so mean sometimes-I totally do not miss those high school days!! Give her lots of hugs & Ben & Jerry's phish food works wonders.

 

[bearbear]

boys suck!!!!

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Maybe he didn't know if was or wasn't? Or did he say he lied?

 

[wdwmickey]

"It was just easier than getting too close to anyone and I didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you I didn't like you as anything more than a friend"

Let's just say DD would have been much less hurt if he'd just been honest to begin with. She felt so stupid to have a crush on him 3 years ago and now she feels like their whole relationship has been a lie.

 

[mommy2mrb]

Sounds like maybe he might have an identityy issue! what he did is not nice though for any reason! he may have a lot more people upset with him and hopefully he'll realize his mistake.

I hope Sarah can figure out if he is that important of a friend to her or not.

 

[DisneyIsTerrific]

Big for your DD. I hope she can get past the stupid lie the boy has been saying and salvage their friendship. It sounds like he thought he had a good way to keep distance 3 years ago and it all snowballed on him. I'm sure he just didn't know how to get out of the lie once it started. I'm sure he regrets the decision now. Hopefully the two of them can talk it through and still be friends. Lots of for your DD. And, for you too, Cheryl. It's so hard to see our kids hurting.

 

[MazdaUK]

for DD, and maybe if you know a good counsellor you could give the boy their card I'd hate to be a teenager agin, but it sounds like he may have other issues (or why rule yourself out of one option so young)

 

[morgansmom2000]

Oh, Cheryl, I'm so sorry to hear this. It's so tough to be a teen today, and this just makes it that much harder. I hope they can both forgive him (he must be beating himself up over this too) and get beyond it.

 

[wdwmickey]

Update:

Sarah had to see him at the play last night. He told her that only she & one other person know the truth. He wants to keep it that way and "plans on dropping the act" when he gets to college!!!

He has NO idea how much he hurt her

 

[mommy2mrb]

your kidding....he really thinks the truth is not going to come out!!!
the kids are going to wonder why he and Sarah aren't friends anymore...I'd be interested in knowing what his parents know about all of this!

Maybe Sarah will be better off just breaking all ties with this kid, he obviously doesn't care about her feelings.....tell her to kick him to the curb and move on...be happy and show him what he has missed and going to miss being in her life!!

She is such an awesome, sweet, beautiful and smart girl !!! give her more from us!

 

[JJ&JHsmom]

Anyone who is willing to "keep up" a lie for that amount of time is not the kind of person I would want my daughter getting close to. Tell her to move on, honesty is one of the most important traits that we should be looking for in those that we keep close to us.

 

[wdwmickey]

I totally agree!!! I can't believe he wants her to lie for him! What a jerk. I went from feeling bad for him to being really angry with him. He's being so selfish

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

I have nothing.

Shame on him. Shame on him for telling lies and shame on him for thinking she will keep his lie going.

She deserves real friends.

 

[Arizona Rita]

Lots of hugs for Sarah and hopefully understanding for a very confused young man.

 

[wdwmickey]

Thanks everyone

She has decided that "phish food" and pizza definately helps