If quizzes can be quizzical, what are tests?
Are you saying you're tested by turnstyles?
You really want me to answer you, don't you. You know you do. You're tyring to get me banned, right? "Hey Smidgy! I've finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying Ponzi guy! He won't be able to resist this literary hook.
Fine
testicles. Let the chips fall where they may.
Friday morn, waiting for the bus to go to Animal Kingdom.
A lot of times we will drive ourselves there.
No, I don't mean we'd carjack the bus and say "Move over, I'm driving",
Man jumps on Disney Transpo bus and drives off. Frightened passengers notice driver is blind and begin to panic. Man earlier jumped in pool with hearing aids and can't hear the screams.
If you read most reviews of AKL, you will see much complaining about the bus service there, and I am here to tell you,,,, BELIEVE IT.
Ah ha! See I
knew there was another reason why I didn't want to stay at AKL. When we're on site... I don't drive. I drive enough on a daily basis. I'm on holiday for crying out loud!
Animal KIngdom Park is right next door to the Lodge.
We got down to the bus stop at quarter after 8, but after waiting forever for a bus, we didn't get to the park until right at 9 o'clock, even missed the welcome show.
Just out of curiosity, I used the walking directions of Google Map to see how long it would take to walk from front door to front gate. Twenty three minutes.
I felt like an idiot smugglling in 4 little bottles this early, two for each of us,,, but, well, I've felt like an idiot before so that's nothing new.
Aw, you took the words right out of my fingers. I was going to say that you don't need to smuggle 4 little bottles to look like and idiot, but now I won't. Besides, that might be considered rude. And that's against the Canadian Constitution.
Following the masses straight to the back of the park to the Safari ride, she was able to scan the times guide and we made some quick decisions. For one thing, that was when we found out that Premevil Whirl was NOT going to reopen today, like we have read.
Crap, I like that little ride.
Not me! Rode it once. That was more than enough. My idea of fun does not include getting bruises.
I never saw the center dividing railing until after impact!
Ouch! When I was a kid we used to play football in the street in front of our houses. (you thought I was going to say hockey, didn't you? That's winter. This was summer) I remember... ha, more like "I'll never forget"... one time I ran for a pass and my right knee collided dead on with a fire hydrant. I flipped up and over the hydrant. I thought I'd exploded my knee cap out through the back of my leg. As the doctors say, I was in some discomfort.
this was much worse than when I tried to get in a boat boarding row on POTC that turned out to be row 3 and a half.
Yes, but I'm sure the people sitting in the row you just wiped out remember it with great fondness.
As we walked in I never took my eye off that damn divider
until we passed it.
Disney has far too many dividers in my opinion.
What, it's not enough to know how many people go on the ride, but we really need to know how many people left the ride. What if the numbers don't match up at the end of the day? Do they send in search parties to find the two missing people?
Nah. The reason for the exit turnstyles are numerous, but here's one example of why they're required.
500 people ride EE. 498 exit EE. Two missing. Now they only have to feed the Yeti one more person/weight of food. Ever notice there aren't any homeless people around Disney? Coincidence? I think not.
And you really think those are "animatronics", hunh?
And again, why do these things have to be crotch high?
Again, there's a good reason. Several in fact.
1. You have to take into account the median size of people who will be using the turnstyle. Too low and people won't see it and trip over it. Too high and small children may be hit in the face.
2. Again, taking height into account. Too high and people will duck under it. Too low and people will step over it.
3. And most importantly. It's just funny to have it at crotch height.
You have to push with your groin to get the bar to swing around and down, tripping the counter and allowing you to pass through.
Hmm. I use my hands to push it, or if my hands are full, I turn sideways and use my hip... but whatever turns your crank... or turnstyle...
No guy likes this. Sometimes your testicles go with it!
It's like having to have your testicles rotated every 5000 miles!
Or you can just walk through a turnstyle, the cheaper way.
Yeah, I can see that as a real money saver.
Have you ever run into a turnstyle that is meant for people coming from the other side?
Silly Putty thrown against a brick wall fairs better.
There's not enough vikes in the world to get you through that shock.
Why do I get the feeling that youve done this
more than once.
our goal is to get back to see Finding Nemo, the Musical at 10:30. Thought I was going to say, Fooling Nebo, the Moronical, dintcha?
Admittedly
yes.
Of course, I took some pictures. Let's play and see if we can find any animals in them,
cuz I can't see in the photobucket snapshots and I might have just been shooting where the driver was pointing.
So far this was not a great day for viewing animals.
Umm
. Nebo? Those big white rocks in the foreground? Some people call them Rhinos. Some people might even say, Wow! Look how close you got to a rhino! Some might even say. Holy cow! (or rhino)
Two rhinos! Up close!
Finally, got up and close to a funny looking bird:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostrich
I heard a mom tell her son behind me that this is the biggest bird in the world, and the kid was, "wow, I wish I could see him flying."
You know what happened then;
For the rest of the tour, all I kept hearing in my head was,
"As God as my witness, I thought ostriches could fly."
Oh, the humanity!
Then our driver pointed out a lion lying on a rock and this time he wasn't lyin'. And oh my God, now it's coming right for us, it's about to leap, OH NO...
Will you
please get that stupid camera out of my face? Or would you prefer I
claw it out of your hand?
Sadly, now so much grey has set in and at the age of I think, 15 or 16, she's a retired starlet who loves me and Smidgy to death,,,,, and hates anybody else.
Thats the way a cat is supposed to be. You can see pictures of the real friendly ones plastered on fences and lamp posts.
We did get up close with a nice rhino though,,
Nah, thats just a white rock.
It was a little after ten, plenty of time to get back to see Nemo and get good seats, when something on the path caught my eye
As many of you know, it took Smidgy and I about a dozen trips to Animal Kingdom before we finally, finally, caught up with Devine. I've hired private investigators, FBI, Navy Seals and they weren't ever able to lead us to her when we were there.
When you walk into the park next time, just ask a CM or look on the times guide. Worked for us. The first time I saw her, I didnt know about her. I couldnt understand what everyone was standing around for. Took me a few seconds to spot her. One of my favourite Disney memories.
I think she is so well done, especially if you can get her to move, fortunately, I know the magic words for doing that.
"Hey, are those hornets making a nest in there?"
I use, Thats a cute koala climbing up your leg
looks hungry.
On to Nebo!
I mean Nemo
For me, the rule in this show is the closer, the better, I think Diane agrees with me on this too.
I wouldnt know. Another thing I havent done yet. Yes, its on the list.
And the colors are so vibrant, it's like an LSD trip!
Oh, not that I would know about those things.
But I've read about them.
Whoa. Dude. Cool.
While in the neighborhood we went over and did Expedition, find the Yeti. Ok, I did it. No, not find the Yeti, ride the ride.
Normally, I like to do this at night, that's because it's the only time I can see the Yeti in here. Otherwise....
It's light, it's now dark in the tunnel, you're moving fast,,it's light again. Nope, didn't see squat.
I had heard there was a reason I hadn't seen him lately;
The Yeti has been vacationing in the Bahamas for over a year now!
Really, Disney's most advanced animated special effect kept breaking down so they removed him until they figure out how to get it right.
Hes been removed? I thought he was still there, just not moving and with strobe lights to simulate motion? AKA Disco Yeti.
Now bear with me here, I think this is a picture of a picture of me on EE that Smidgy took, but the stuff around the picture seem strange to me.
So? What do you think, is that it?
Smokers, as you all well know, and there weren't many bigger smokers in this world than I was until recently, but you are being phased out.
I find its becoming less and less common to see somebody smoking anymore. Now when I do see somebody smoking, they stick out like a sore thumb.
At about 11:30 now, it was time to go and do MY favorite park attraction,,,,
Flame Tree Barbeque!
Believe it or not
. Another place I have yet to visit.
Thanks for the chapter!
I like Fsmith's "Stable-eyes"! I'm hoping for that for you too Nebo!
You just came out of the mountains in Chatanooga and it brings back memories of my own dangerous trek through the dreaded hills of Chatanooga. We're from Valparaiso, IN (have you heard of it?) I'm very familiar with your area and your trips are the same route when you go through Indiana. We usually go in February and one trip we hit an ice storm. My DH had gone to sleep and I didn't want to wake him. I'm a pretty good driver (depends on who you ask
) and thought "I can do this!" Heh Heh Heh...it got worse and worse. By now all the trucks had pulled off onto the shoulder and now I'm smart enough to be afraid!
. I felt like I was the only idiot on the road. A white knuckled blonde idiot leaning forward, afraid to blink as I might make a wrong move. When we got out of those mountains, I could hardly open my hands off of the steering wheel I had been holding on so tightly! My chest tightens just thinking about it! To make things worse, on the way home, we hit a blizzard that forced ALL cars off the highways into the rest stops. That was a fun year. What we mousejunkies will do!
That's where I got all the books Nebo recommended. I just started reading Aztec but got side tracked by two Reader's Digests and a book of facts about Titanic. It's pretty normal for me to have two or three books on the go at the same time.
...What do I win? 
