At the beginningish of the report, I posted a semi mystery picture of the top of the Tiki Birds home, but it turned out to be a lot easier "where am I' question than I thoiught it would be.
For your amusement I would now like to try an audio version of a Disney trivia question. (this means there's no pictrure)
I'm not sure why this popped into my brain the other day, but pop it did and I had to really think about it for a while before I could nail it down. Believe it or not, I thought it might have come from a Stephen King book.
There is also an excellent chance I did this before in an older trip report, or, I was going to but never got around to it,, or,, I did and it fell on it's face which is the most likely scenario.
However, I did just Google it and wow, all the info is right there so you are all on your honor systems in providing the answer. That's the strange thing nowadays,,, any trivia question I can come up with has the answer sitting just one more click away.
So,,,,,,,anyway,,,,,,,,,,
complete or tell me the line that immediately follows,,,,,
"Jump up for Jinkies"
(yep, they are all looking at me in that tone of voice again)
Also, incredibly, to me anyway, I turned on the tv last night at 6:30 and found BJ talking to Abigail Porterfield about her most famous book, The Rooster Crowed at Midnight!
I am not kidding, it was on TVLand.
Oh, and,,,,
Knock knock
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
C'mon, play with me, last time
Knock knock
Who's there?
Amaryllis
Amaryllis who?
Amaryllis state agent. Wanna buy a house?
Jakeybake: You know, I think he's tap dancing, I don't think he has anything for tonight, this is gonna really suck.
Thumper Man: Yeah Jay, sure looks that way, what else can we read? Hey, maybe Riglee started another report!
Jakeybake: Hope so, let's go check, bring Ponzi too, but tell him to take that off his shoe, first.
_______________________________________________
Monday evening, September 12
The Land of Nod
This is why I don't like naps.
Diane had called for a wake up call, but most of the time I was thinking about how it's going to take only about forever to pay this repair back down off the credit card.
And I can't even put this on the Disney rewards card, not enough room there so it's gotta go on the other one, that also has a higher interest rate. I know, you're losing interest too, I have a lot more interest in no interest.
When I did finally fall asleep, I was gone baby gone, see ya later alligator, bedtime for Bonzo and Bedtime Snories.
I had fallen into the deepest sleep but it was only for about 20 minutes when she was waking me up.These really deep sleeps are rare for me period, but in the middle of the day they are un heard of. So, if I have to be awakened artificially during the day, it is more of a "wake-down" call than wake -up.
I just don't wake up well, unless it happens on my own.
This is also prime real estate as they say, for hurting myself.
I'm not good at avoiding obstacles and other common hazzards when I'm awake,,, right now?
I'm just asking for it!
This is why I don't like balconies, especially balconies on the 15th floor. (snicker)
They are also virtually impossible to shake yourself out of when you a woken prematurely; you basically just go through the motions until you can get to sleep for real and wake up the next morning.
But it's not next morning, and when she resorted to shaking me to see if I was still breathing, I not only didn't love her madly, I wanted to hurt her badly!
To make matters worse, she automatically assumed that because my eyes are open, there is brain wave activity taking place behind them.
Using this logic we should then be able to deduce that since the TV is on and light is coming from it, that there is cerebral energy coming from Two and a Half Men, but we know better than that.
She's firing off questions and instructions to me as I am shaking my head and trying to stop drooling,
(no, I don't know what I'm going to wear, no, I don't care what I'm going to wear, yes, we can bring Sunny D's, I guess I will bring the camera, don't know, yes we can bring the park maps from this morning, don't think they changed too much since then,,,,, and on,,, and on,,,,) then I put my pants on over my head and pulled up my shirt and buttoned the fly and put my socks on, one hand at a time.
I had absolutely no idea of what she just said to me.
Almost made it out the door to go get ice before she stopped me and said I didn't need the sock mittens inside the resort, it's not cold.
I looked for the ice machine around the corner, but there wasn't any "corner" to look "around" from, wrong resort.
More and more I was missing CBR, but this ice excursion was just warming up.
Ok, I got it, it's not here, I have to go and walk for it, I remember that.
On the way to the center I think I dozed off again.
Next thing I knew I was standing in front of the elevator and looked for the "ice machine" button. I pushed the button that had an arrow pointing down since that's how the ice comes out, it falls down,,,,, and I waited, but no ice came out of it.
I knew it wasn't supposed to, so I just stood there and hped my head would wake up SOON!
I was on the verge of saying, "oh screw it, I tried" and going back to bed but suddenly I had company.
A crowd gathered around me because they must have sensed how much I felt like talking right now, and an elevator arrived right after them and we all got in.
For some reason a phenomenon has been hapenning lately to me on
Disney vacations at a most frequent level, and I hadn't really paid that much attention to it at the time, it's only at trip reporting chapter time that I come back up with it, and realize that when it comes to elevators, I am truly vexxed.
It started out as innocuous fun at Royal Pacific;
our second stay there resulted in almost the exact same room, it was just one floor up and right across the hallway from our first room,,, I had great fun at Smidgy's expense when she insisted on leading like she always does and tried to get in a complete strangers' room, as I slipped into our room right across the hall and closed the door.
But then it took a turn for the worse.
I was tormented and deceived by a group of teenagers at Vero Beach into believeing that THIS is our floor, until I realized that after trying our room door that they must have also raised the lobby to make it easier on me.
Then I got carjacked when my hands were full and was not allowed out ot the elevator for ten minutes, or, until the ice in your drinks melts down, whichever came first.
What else?
Yes, my own fault for having to punch the buttons with the noodle at Beach Club, thank goodness for intervention.
Oh, the elevators getting angry at me at Vero Beach for ramming the huge lubbage cart into the closed door when I heard a ding, that turned out to come from the elevator next to it.
Hey, it was dark down there.
And KillDozer,, the diminutive maid with the humongous housekeeping cart who didn't see me in the back of the elevator and tried to crush me.
Twice!
And many more, I'm sure.
I just didn't know I was about to star in this trip's elevator episode at this time, I never got the flyer!
When this group got in with me, probably wondering what I am doing just standing in there, I backed away from the panel, ice wasn't coming out, anyway.
I just stood off to the side as they started pushing buttons, I was sure there's a reason for them to do this, but there were just SO many buttons, and I really didn't want to get involved. I just smiled through my shorts and they were kind enough to make sure I had plenty of room.
When the doors opened I saw it was down at the bottom and they all got our very quickly, then the doors closed again. At the last second I caught them and got out of the button room, I hoped that what ever it was that I was doing here would come to me, I was in that much of a fog, still. I stood there looking at the hallway, but it wasn't helping me at all, so i turned back to the elevator.
Before I could do a thing, the doors opened again, and 3 women, middle aged all got out. Why did I feel it was necessary to descibe the women?
I have no idea in the slightest!
This part troubled me, it was like the little room was generating it's own people, but my head was starting to clear a bit, and I really thought hard on what I am doing here in the first place. Yes, I know how the little rooms go up and down now, I'm mostly coming around, but that little bit that I was standing on the ground floor didn't seem like it was long enough to go back up an pick up another batch of people and bring them down.
But apparently, it did.
Or, it generated them, like Twilight Zone, Tower of Terror.
Yeah, that's it, time to wake up.
It was occuring, ocurring, occurring,,,, it dawned on me by then that I may have to actually do something in here, and I rememered what it was when I looked down and saw the ice bucket in my hand,,,, and I pressed the button that said 14. Yeah, that's the ticket,,,, I'm good!
Only, I didn't.
This took me a bit to figure out.
Now, you all know that elevators, ALL ELEVATORS hate me and will do their best to make a fool of me at the least, or, bring me to the point of insanity and have me institutionalized, at the most.
The doors opened, I was alone and nobody was trying to get in so it only stopped at this floor because I TOLD it too, not from somebody else needing a ride, so to speak.
I got out and went to where I have gone in the past to the ice room for the ice machine,,,that is, from our room, down the hallway, down one flight, then down the hallway again on the 14th floor to the ice machine/room.
Yes, I still have the bucket in my hands, amazing in my somnambulistic state.
(have you ever noticed that when somebody doesn't know how to spell something correctly, for some reason they insist on using the word all the time so they can constantly misspell it? Well, the odds of me spelling the sleep walking word correctly are ten to one, so every time I misspell it SOMEBODY must be going crazy from it!)
Take Ponzi's side over mine, will you? MBWahahahahah,, cough, cough,,, huss huss.
Ok, once more, Normally I walk down to the door that says"Stairs", take that down to the 14th floor and walk further down the hall to the door that says, "Ice"
Again, see how simple it is?
What can go wrong?
(thank you Grant Seeker)
It's easy peasy,,,,
Just now, when all those hoodlums left me alone at the bottom, I pressed the 14 button, so now here I am ready for the ice room.
Which isn't there!
Me, and my bucket, are walking up and down, back and forth, inside and out, completely exploring Bay Lake Tower in search of an ice machine that I KNEW existed!
Is this what is meant by the Bucket List? I knew it concerned death, but,,,,,,,,
Ok, great, what we have here is an alternative universe that can only be accessed by a down staircase from the 15th floor.
Made sense to me, after walking back and forth looking for the ice room I really didn't much care anymore for a lousy drink anyway.
Found my way back to the elevator though, and that's when I got hit with the 2 by 4, figuratively.
It happened like this:
the panel of buttons in the elevator are very low, so, for me to see them from just over six feet up, my height, I am looking at them through the "distance" part of the glasses, not the "reading' part. For me to read them properly, I would have to do the duck walk to get my eyes on the same, even, plane with them, then I'd have to lean in close, with my head tilted back.
I had this exact problem the time we ate at Boma's and Diane deserted me forcing me to read my own labels, all because I took the ONLY piece of iceberg lettuce that was in the salad bowl.
Let me try and describe the button panel here to you:
The buttons are arranged here in pairs, I had bent over funny to read one, which happened to be the 12th floor, and based on this knowledge and the position of this button, I then pressed the 14th floor button, accordingly, there was no major trick or gimmick to it, easy to figure out, odds on left, even numbers on the right.
Follow?
There's the 12, this guy over here must be 13, this one must be 14, I pressed this last one.
Ok, how many of you are now shaking your heads as the nickel has dropped in?
And can you believe that in this day and age they are still doing that? Incredible!! In the 21st Century!
You know, when I was by the pool waiting for the room to be ready, I kept counting up from the ground to see where our room would be, then, when we finally DID get our room, it didn't make sense from what I was seeing directly across from us.
What am I babbling about?
THERE IS NO 13TH FLOOR AT BAY LAKE TOWER!
I saw the 12th floor button, moved up 2 buttons more to what I thought would be 14, but in reallity it was 15 I pushed. I was so assured that I was on the 14th floor that I never bothered to read any of the room numbers, especially when I am looking for the ice room which has no number.
Not really sure that would have helped anyway, since our room is on the fake 15th floor, fake, because it's really the 14th floor which of course starts with the number 85,,, 8509 in our case.
This means, that all the time I was going up and down the hallway on the 14th floor, I was really back on the floor our room was on. If it wasn't for the fact that the ice machine was over on the other side it may have led to even more confusion as Diane opens our room door only to find me rummaging around out there,,,,,
"Steve, what are you doing?"
"I told you, going for ice."
"Then why aren't you?"
"I are, what are you doing down here, couldn't you wait?"
"Down where?"
Oh yeah, that had lots of possibilities.
Hmm, you know, we may have just set a personal record.
I don't have a way to count the words in a chapter, at least I don't think I do, but it seems like this chapter is at where most of them are at when I end it,,,,,
but I believe this entire chapter has taken off maybe, at the most, 15 minutes time off of the remaining trip.
At this rate the report should be finished when they get around to releasing the alternative Disney movies that were originally rejected, like, The Brave Little Toaster who Started the Fire When it was Left Plugged in, in 3'D.
Yeah, better way of putting it, chronologically, this chapter had the same effect time wise as Rose saying to Jack,
"Did you hear something?" in Titanic. I believe he responded, "No, that was just my stomach, darn shrimp, why didn't they tell me it was peel and eat?"
"Jack? I know how this ends, and I wouldn't sweat the shrimp!"
Back in the room I started explaing all this to Smidgy and what I had just gone through but before I even got halfway through the story concerning the elevator, her eyes glazed over and she threw herself off the balcony!
That's it for tonight, next chapter,,, "Searching for Smidgy"
No that is not what it means. It is my first initial (my name is Angela) my middle name which is Kaye, my last name initial which is K and finally the age I was when I got that email. I was very unoriginal but it sure has made people think about it lol.
