P.O.T.C. On Stranger Rides! The Missing Chapter,,Final Thoughts,, Preview Thoughts.

[buzz1121]

still alive, no i didn't go into anaphylactic shock and suffocate, Marie was right, i just frlelaxed ane had fun, wiith two of them holding my down and his foot on my orehead fro leveratge.
These bikes better jkick in befror the supernova wehres off

Nebo, I'm really glad the dental visit went fairly well. I mean it did only take two of them to hold you down!

What did they have to do to fix the tooth?

 

[buzz1121]

Nebo, you are absolutely right, we do have plenty of time to plan a meet up for August. If I had a general outline, trust me, it would only be an outline for the four of us and could easily be altered to meet you and Smidgy and family!

We have been trying to convince my parents to come down for a few days. They have been to Disney once and they are always surprised when we tell them we are going. We get the "You're going there AGAIN?". My parents are great, but they don't generally enjoy traveling. I think the excitement the kids have for WDW will reel them in, if I can just get them to come, even for just a few days. I usually get the "we'll see".

Any suggestions to rope them in?

 

[bankr63]

I hate that feeling. A hundred years ago, I remember reading a Mad Magazine where a section was devoted to new words. There would be a picture, a word and the definition. Unfortunately I don't remember the word they made up but I do remember the picture (Man slamming the locked car door behind him just as he notices the key in the ignition) and the caption was something like, "The feeling you get when you notice the keys are still inside the car you just locked."

Hope nobody else mentioned this since I am so far behind. (I read ahead a few posts and didn't see it mentioned...)

That is the well know onosecond. It is also what most Darwin Reward recipients have just before becoming eligible for their rewards.

Still not Mike or Marty...

 

[pkondz]

I'm not thinking good right now,,, man, that sounds so familiar,,, is Foolish mortals a Unversal thing?

Ummm it's the first thing the 'Ghost Host' says in HM.

I can help with the bleeding part, really, you just have to practice it for a while. ?

Man, I'd heard that writers have to suffer for their art... thank goodness my writing won't be anywhere near classified as art.

So, if it all goes ok,, I will post that later on tonight,,, and epending how it goes,,,, there may be a "side" story coming up about how it went. Hope I see you all later on, I really don't want ot be one of the few that dies from novacaine paralysis of the throat like last time. That would really piss me off.

Yeah, nothing worse than an unfinished TR.

still alive, no i didn't go into anaphylactic shock and suffocate, Marie was right, i just frlelaxed ane had fun, wiith two of them holding my down and his foot on my orehead fro leveratge.
These bikes better jkick in befror the supernova wehres off

Yay! We get to keep reading the TR! Oh. Nice you're okay, too.

Echoing buzz, what'd the sturgeon do?

 

[pkondz]

Hope nobody else mentioned this since I am so far behind. (I read ahead a few posts and didn't see it mentioned...)

That is the well know onosecond. It is also what most Darwin Reward recipients have just before becoming eligible for their rewards.

Excellent!

 

[nebo]

Hope nobody else mentioned this since I am so far behind. (I read ahead a few posts and didn't see it mentioned...)

That is the well know onosecond. It is also what most Darwin Reward recipients have just before becoming eligible for their rewards.

Still not Mike or Marty...

That's good,,,, but wait, you left out Mark,,,,,? Did I nail it?

Ok, gonna finish up the new chapter,,, thankfully won't have to type much,,,, I'm still shaking like a leaf in my pants,,, maybe tomollow I'll talk about it a bit more.
By the way, is there a HIT BOARDS section on the community boards? Someone I can hire to make a trip to Fowler Indiana and see someone for me?

 

[mmeb144]

That's good,,,, but wait, you left out Mark,,,,,? Did I nail it?

Ok, gonna finish up the new chapter,,, thankfully won't have to type much,,,, I'm still shaking like a leaf in my pants,,, maybe tomollow I'll talk about it a bit more.
By the way, is there a HIT BOARDS section on the community boards? Someone I can hire to make a trip to Fowler Indiana and see someone for me?

I'm shaking in my socks here.

 

[nebo]

When I was young, people used to say I had a cast iron stomach because I could drink anything,,,screwdrivers, manhattans, wine, beer,,,, and mix them all night and not get sick, and it was true.
Then if I saw someone chewing with their mouth open,
or even spitting on the sidewalk I would come close to puking, I don't like when internal bodily fluids would become external.

With that said, I bring you tonight's chapter.

Just when you thought it was safe to eat dinner again:

Back at the Studios, it is almost evening now and we are on our way to use the fastpasses we got in the early morning for Toy Story.

We also have our Sunny D's,,, my extra cup with my "on the rocks" drink for the bus stop worked like a charm, I finished it just when the bus pulled up and only had to toss the plastic cup in the garbage then.
For the record, Sunny D's you can bring on rides, not so with fuzzy cups,
that's why we are packing Sunnys tonight. We have also been turned down 'cuz of Fuzzies at Canada because Celine Dion doesn't drink,, and American Idol because all Ryan Seacrest DOES is drink.
The jury is still out on the Monorail and Fuzzy's, we've done it, but we were also kind of hiding them at the same time.

At the entrance to TSM, I got my first hint that tonight might not go as planned.

We flashed our fastpasses at the cast member there, who
then did a great double take and looked again;
he saw how old they were, and while theatrically shaking his head from side to side in a saddened manner to make sure his disappointment and remorse concerning our charcater was made obvious, his hand waved us through nonetheless.

This was the very first time ever, that a cm looked at an expired FP with disdain, on the way out, I got an idea why that was,,,,,, the standby time up above said an unbelievable ,,,,, you ready for this?,,,,,,,135 minutes!
No, not an hour and a half, for the mathematically challenged, that's 2 freakin' hours and 15 minutes!

Even with the fastpasses we still had about a 15 minute wait, and ended up following a couple with two little kids, the kids between, oh, I'm guessing 8 and 10 years old.
This is the part where you come in, meaning, you may wish to go and do the dishes right now, and come back in about ten minutes when I'm done.
Hey, I just gave you a bit of a warning which puts you ahead of what I went through, so,,,,,,

you know what?

I had no warning, no warning at all.

No warning at all that something bad was about to happen to me, at the LEAST most convenient time!

I remember thinking later that night after when I was "back to normal", that if I do a trip report,,, a good name and way to do this chapter would be in a James Bond theme, we'll call it,,,, oh,um ok, I'll give that to you in a little bit, it's no big deal, really.

( Let me try and help you out here right now with this chapter, and the way it's probably going to go down. . We have your author, (me), with very little to write about tonight, except this one, little, incident, that he is going to milk longer, and harder, than Elsie at a Borden's Convention. For another great example of someone, "milking a moment, It's like back when our president was asked to give the Gettysburg Address in front of a lot of people back in '63, a week before my birthday, and he stood up and said, "No problemo, it's 341 Bonnie Meadow Lane, Gettysburg Pennsylvania, 40895" ( Ol Abe thought it was funny, they didn't.)
Then he was informed they wanted him to talk about how
he felt that mankind, especially OUR mankind in the USA, should be treating each other now that it's been almost 90 years as a nation,,,and he said, "Oh, the way you want to be treated yourself."

Once again, they yanked him aside after breaking for commercial, and insisted that he expound on these thoughts, the sponsers have too much money tied up in this and it has to be dragged out for at least a half hour. They've got the lead-in audience from the Super Bowl and don't want to lose them all when the game's over, to Randy Jackson's brother, Stonewall and his Limping With the Stars.
Or that other new show, Gidget goes to Tara. Up and coming actress Betty White had gotten the lead role,,,, as Gidget's Grandmother.

So that is how we ended up with "Four score,,,,,,, and ,,, um,,,,

seven,,, yeah, that's it, seven years ago, our Mothers brought forth,,,, hold it,,, you know, it might work better if it was fathers........"

Well, you get the point, he was just embellishing)

[can you believe I remembered that second parenthisis at the end of all that?]

What I am trying to say is,,,, I am about to,,,, ok,,,, in the process of,,,, making a mountain out of a molehill.

I have been fortunate this entire trip, 'cept for the drive down, no real injuries for me,,,, and not just me, her too, she has not been immune to falls and whatnots in our Disneyfied past, remember her fall at Coronado along the walkway? Or her fall at Premevil Whirl going down the ramps and hurting her hand? but things were about to change!

We got to where you go up the stairs, still following behind the perfect family, the Nelsons, (ask your mothers), then we came down the stairs right by the loading station.

Right before the All American Family was to climb into a TSM car, the first chip was thrown in the pot.
Dad and daughter got themselves positioned in the front, then mom and THE PRODIGAL SON started to move to postion themselves to get in the back.

That was when he blew up.

It was a hearty sneeze, not a little,,, 'chew',,,, but more of
a "AAAAACHEEW!"

Everything happened real fast right then, of course they did, even though I didn't see him, the Beast was up there in a corner controlling time by a big old schooltime clock!

Apparently, the boy had sneezed a bit on Harriet Nelson, his mother, and she then spoke words to him that made me at first a bit nervous, but then with just a little bit of thought, my heart almost stop!

With the gate right in front of them, we were all extremely close to each other, and there was no backing up on our part, and empty space has a life expectancy at DisneyWorld of a Kardashian husband.

"Johnny, if you have to sneeze, at least turn away and cover your mouth." Just then their ride car pulled up, and
they started climbing in.

Anybody see where this is going?
Did you stop eating if you were eating?

Few people sneeze just once, and Johnny was no exception.

Only this time he made sure to listen to his mommy and turn around before it came out, and boy did it come out!

This was like the Mother of all Sneezes!

Have you ever bought your kid a Super Soaker?
Have you ever bought yourself a Super Soaker?

And he had spun around just like mommy had said when he fired off his salvo, only he left out the "covering your mouth" part of it.
Or, to be more specific in this instance, the "covering your NOSE" part of the equation which read like the Pythagorean Theorem, "A" sneeze, plus "B" sneeze, ="C", Nebosneezed-eed." I became the hypotenuse, withoiut the noose.

He sneezed all over my arm, then turned and climbed into the car with the rest of his family.

No, not on my shirt sleeves,,, I didn't have any.
He sneezed on my bare and totally exposed, naked, arm!
Then he ran, and the get-a-way car took off.

It was a "Leaving the sneeze of an expectorant" , it was a "Sneeze and Run", both felonies.

And at this very moment, nobody, including Smidgy, is aware of the horror that just took place. She saw that
he sneezed in my direction, she DIDN'T see the buffet of ice creams, custards, yogurts, puddings, cottage cheese
dumplings and lime jello he laid out on the serving table,
my arm.

Wanna know what I was?

Yes, you're right!
I was aghast, agape and agog, again.

And,,,,,,, really, really, DISGUSTED! And in shock.

Just then, of course, our car pulls up, the door swings open, and Smidgy leads me inside, as I was still in shock, and she wasn't aware of how serious this just was that happened 10 seconds ago.

But like an injured soldier who is afraid to look, it wasn't until our car was underway that I finally had the nerve to glance at my left arm,,then I changed my mind, there was nothing I could accomplish anyway about it,,understand, I am seated on the right side of the vehicle.

I have a handkerchief in my back pocket, but if I use it I'l have to throw it away, which I don't want to do.
So I have my terminally infected left arm away from me as much as possible at a funny angle, with my still clean left hand clutching the gun, my right hand can still pull the cord to fire, not that I gave much of a crap by now.

Please understand too, just like many times when I have hurt myself before, I still have not even "glanced" at the smorgasbord that is now inhabitting my left arm, and I don't plan to until I am able to run to a bathroom or jump in Echo Lake if it's closer. No point in turning one disgusting mess
to clean up into a "you are now cleaning up puke down your shirt also", just to make it more challenging.
Yes, like I said opening this chapter, this could very easily become something much more sinister.

I'm even considering standing on the mountain next to the tanker when the earthquake brings the flood to Catastrophe Canyon, that should be enough force to wash it off my arm. Anything to avoid having to look and do it myself. (catastrophe trademarked)

With the ride started, Diane notices the peculiar way my arm is out to the far side, HER side, and the way my wrist has to be turned to grip the gun.

Finally, she notices Cinderella's Royal Table up and down most of my left arm,

and she screams!

All this succeeded in doing was to confirm even more vehemently that I shall not, repeat, NOT, let my eyes wander even remotely slightly in the direction of my left arm, until I am in a bathroom or under Niagara Falls.

Neither of us had our hearts in the game at all, I think she ended up winning like usual to a score of 8 to 5.

ON the way out, a lady in a hurry almost made a fatal mistake by pushing her way past me. I instinctively spun around to protect her from the toxic exposed area, it was a natural reaction although she deserved it but I was raised too well.
What this did do though was to make me actually, finally, have to look at it,

and it sent me into anaphylactic shock!
I just stood there with my arms both extended in front of me, shaking and trembling and yelling,,
"GET IT OFF OF ME, GET IT OFF!"

I considered looking for the All American Family and accidentally brushing up against either the Mom or the kid,
but go ahead, picture trying to explain that to security when the Morlocks come out and seize me for the safty of all the others in the park.

I ended up running back to the Restrooms near ABC Commisary and went through a roll of TP in a stall. When that was gone I went into the next stall and did the same thing.
Geesh, the strangest things can happen to me.
Well, at least that's over with, I finally got the "dumb and stupid incident" out of the way on this trip.

Right?

When I felt like I was properly de-bugered, we walked down to the end to use our Rock'n'Roller Coaster fastpasses, I was curious to see how the castmember would react this time.

So, with TSM at 135, how long do you think this was here, and tonight is an EMH night at the Studios?

Close, even though we used the fastpasses, standby said 15 minutes.
I still feel really dumb here, Diane got a FP just to be able to walk me through the dark line, especially when I hate to wear my glasses in here, I did before, but it really felt like they were trying to vibrate off my face, and let's not play that game this trip, ok?

After a while, we got what I guessed was the short loading line, and Diane handed me off to a teenage girl riding as a single, then she could go and take the non rider's exit OUT OF THERE!!
She's always afraid they will make her have to do something she doesn't want to do.

So, now I am left in the "Don't worry, I'll take good care of him" Julie, who held my hand as we waited.

I considered telling her I'd feel a whole lot safer if she had her arm around me, but boy that can be such a subtle difference between looking 18,,,, but really only being 17, and I got a feeling I don't look at all like I'm 17 anymore.

Then a Limo pulled up and after she got in, she guided me in,,,, and oh yeah, it would have been tricky on my own to do.

The first 5 seconds of the ride are the best, then I can take or leave it.
I'm just not a fan of coasters that go upside down just for the sake of going upside down,,, it really does nothing for me, I prefer a good big old Wooden Coaster any time over a stupid thing with a lot of loops and such,,, but the "Launch" here is quite good, much better than the Hulk at Uni.

But no, don't even think of comparing it to THE DRAGSTER coaster at Cedar Point.
Rock'n'Roller Coaster goes from 0 to 60 in four seconds,,,
The Dragster goes from 0 to 120 in 2.8 seconds! And sometimes it isn't enough to make it up the first hill, and your train slides back down and you have to try it again.

One thing during the ride I didn't think of, and you will see it in the picture,,,,, ok,,,

Once again, it is time for the lovely "picture of a picture"
and you will see your very own favorite moron with both hands pressed to the side of his head in the back, my seeing eye helper sitting next to me:

"What is he doing?" you are asking yourselves.
As stupid as the answer is, it's just as obvious which doesn't make it any smarter:

I'm holding my hands over my ears to make sure the bionic ear helpers don't vibrate themselves rigth out of there!

Good night,,, love you all to pieces

 

[dwheatl]

Oh, that is so nasty! And in my job, I deal with bodily fluids on a regular basis. No CM in the restroom who could spare a bottle of bleach, huh?

 

[buzz1121]

Oh mother of pearl! GACK!!

I can go back later and appreciate the finer points of your post, but first I have to post hurl about the nastiness that is some unknown person's mucus all over your arm. I just can't even begin to imagine, seriously Nebo, that is DISGUSTING!!

I mean those of us who are parents have been exposed to almost every single gross bodily fluid by our kids, but they are our kids! It's known grossness with them.

This just is beyond the pale of anything I expected. Really and truly GROSS!!!

But here is where you will want to smack me, despite the grossness, I laughed until I cried. Reading about your experience and then imagining how I would react if I were in your shoes....well let's just say for ole Buzz it was comedic gold.

Oh dear me, that is just revolting!

 

[shan23877]

That's just gross! And even my 4 year old knows that you sneeze into the crook of your OWN arm. Gross, gross, gross.

Sorry about the dental experience today, I bet you got a fresh scrip for the vikes though!

Very impressed that you know who the Kardashians are! Look how young and hip Nebo is!!

 

[winkers]

Oh my Lord, of the rings!!!

I don't know what to say...other than.......well, I'm not sure how the sound I made when I read about the buffet on your arm, translates into text.


Did the culpret look something like this...

or maybe this?

 

[laura74]

Oh you poor thing. That is really disgusting. At least you didn't wait 135 minutes in standby to get an armful of snot. Just looking on the bright side ...

 

[nowellsl]

I'm impressed that you didn't try to snuggle up next to Smidgy.....maybe put your arm around her.....Oh look, all gone

 

[melk]

Yuuukkk!! Thank you for the warning to put my breakfast down. Definitely beats the time I was at a friend's house when their three-year old son sneezed in my wine glass.

 

[McDisney]

still alive, no i didn't go into anaphylactic shock and suffocate, Marie was right, i just frlelaxed ane had fun, wiith two of them holding my down and his foot on my orehead fro leveratge.
These bikes better jkick in befror the supernova wehres off

Did the Novocaine go to your fingertips?

Seriously, glad it went ok - dental work is not usually fun

 

[yellowtink]

By the way, is there a HIT BOARDS section on the community boards? Someone I can hire to make a trip to Fowler Indiana and see someone for me?

Hey, I like my mom just the way she is thank you very much.

 

[nebo]

Nebo, I'm really glad the dental visit went fairly well. I mean it did only take two of them to hold you down!

What did they have to do to fix the tooth?

As soon as this last chapter's buzz dies down, I'll post a minichapter on what took place at the dentist,,, no,, it was not Easy Peezy Lemon Squeezy, or Okey Dokey artichokee, more like Wowwy Zowie, hurts right Nowwie

We have been trying to convince my parents to come down for a few days. They have been to Disney once and they are always surprised when we tell them we are going. We get the "You're going there AGAIN?". My parents are great, but they don't generally enjoy traveling. I think the excitement the kids have for WDW will reel them in, if I can just get them to come, even for just a few days. I usually get the "we'll see".

Any suggestions to rope them in?

Buzz, hard to offfer tips for the folks when I don't even have a clue as to what state you and them are in. I'm thinking around Virginia, maybe DC?

Ummm it's the first thing the 'Ghost Host' says in HM.

Yep, like I said,my brain wasn't functioning yesterday with dentist on my mind.

Yay! We get to keep reading the TR! Oh. Nice you're okay, too.

Echoing buzz, what'd the sturgeon do?

Even I had to go back to see if I really typed sturgeon,,,,, I feel like Hawkeye talking to Winchester:
Winchester,,,,,, "Do you deny calling me a superior surgeon?"

Hawkeye,,,, "Yes, I called you a superior sturgeon, you wn't bust a gut to save anybody."

Oh, that is so nasty! And in my job, I deal with bodily fluids on a regular basis. No CM in the restroom who could spare a bottle of bleach, huh?

You see? Right there,,, you hit the nail on the head,,,, they are callled bodily fluids because they are supposed to stay in the body!

 

[nebo]

That's just gross! And even my 4 year old knows that you sneeze into the crook of your OWN arm. Gross, gross, gross.

Sorry about the dental experience today, I bet you got a fresh scrip for the vikes though!

Big whip, 20 of the regular strength, just a snack.

Very impressed that you know who the Kardashians are! Look how young and hip Nebo is!!

Sure I do,, the Enterprise had a problem with the Kardashians when they tried to steal Scotty's Dilithium Crystals near Ceti Omicron 4.

Oh my Lord, of the rings!!!

I don't know what to say...other than.......well, I'm not sure how the sound I made when I read about the buffet on your arm, translates into text.


Did the culpret look something like this...

or maybe this?

Great smilies Cheri,,, now for this I need one of a guy cutting off his own arm,,, instead of Coyote Ugly it could be Mucus Ugly,, and they can make a movie out of it and show it everyother night on Lifetime.

Oh you poor thing. That is really disgusting. At least you didn't wait 135 minutes in standby to get an armful of snot. Just looking on the bright side ...

Ohh, never thought of that.

I'm impressed that you didn't try to snuggle up next to Smidgy.....maybe put your arm around her.....Oh look, all gone

Great, now we have all slipped into our primitive disgusting, State of Apatow minds.

Yuuukkk!! Thank you for the warning to put my breakfast down. Definitely beats the time I was at a friend's house when their three-year old son sneezed in my wine glass.

What if I was to say that you didn't see him the first time he sneezed in your glass of wine. Still think it beats that?

Did the Novocaine go to your fingertips?

Seriously, glad it went ok - dental work is not usually fun

When I got home I was still shaking and the last think in the world I wanted to do was type ANYTHING at the time, I could not do it fast enough.

Hey, I like my mom just the way she is thank you very much.

Who said anything about the target being your mother?

 

[pkondz]

When I was young, people used to say I had a cast iron stomach because I could drink anything,,,screwdrivers, manhattans, wine, beer,,,, and mix them all night and not get sick, and it was true.

Uh, oh.

Then if I saw someone chewing with their mouth open,

Oh, Oh.

or even spitting on the sidewalk

OH, OH.

I would come close to puking, I don't like when internal bodily fluids would become external.

OH, OH.

With that said, I bring you tonight's chapter.

Terrific. It's not even started yet, and I'm already quivering in my boots...

I'm not wearing boots...

Whatever. The suspense is killing me.

For the record, Sunny D's you can bring on rides, not so with fuzzy cups,

Record? You mean CD? Or MP3?

We have also been turned down 'cuz of Fuzzies at Canada because Celine Dion doesn't drink,

Which is odd, 'cause listening to her talk can drive you to drink.

The jury is still out on the Monorail and Fuzzy's, we've done it, but we were also kind of hiding them at the same time.

See, there you go. Something to do on your next trip.

We flashed our fastpasses at the cast member there, who
then did a great double take and looked again;
he saw how old they were, and while theatrically shaking his head from side to side in a saddened manner to make sure his disappointment and remorse concerning our charcater was made obvious, his hand waved us through nonetheless.

Maybe if they have enough CMs put on a show like that people will stop using fastpasses after the time window?

Nah.

the standby time up above said an unbelievable ,,,,, you ready for this?,,,,,,,135 minutes!
No, not an hour and a half, for the mathematically challenged, that's 2 freakin' hours and 15 minutes!

Who in their right mind needs to go on TSM so badly that they'll wait 2 Hours +?????? I'd hesitate if the line was more than half an hour, let alone two!

Even with the fastpasses we still had about a 15 minute wait, and ended up following a couple with two little kids, the kids between, oh, I'm guessing 8 and 10 years old.

Dum De Dum Dum.
Dum De Dum Dum Duuuuuuummmmm

This is the part where you come in, meaning, you may wish to go and do the dishes right now, and come back in about ten minutes when I'm done.
Hey, I just gave you a bit of a warning which puts you ahead of what I went through, so,,,,,,

Sorry, dude. It's like a car accident. You know it ain't gonna be pretty... but you just can't look away. Especially if there's a cop encouraging you to look by chanting his mantra: "Nothing to see here!"

No warning at all that something bad was about to happen to me, at the LEAST most convenient time!

Quivering now changed to cringing....

I remember thinking later that night after when I was "back to normal", that if I do a trip report,,, a good name and way to do this chapter would be in a James Bond theme, we'll call it,,,, oh,um ok, I'll give that to you in a little bit, it's no big deal, really.

Dr. No! Not on my arm!
From My Nose, With Love
Goldfinger Digging in My Nose
Sneezing Loud as a Thunderball
You Only Live Twice... Before You're Sprayed, and After
On Her Majesty's Secret Snot Service
Diamonds are Forever and So Is This Snot on My Arm
Sneeze and Hope to Die
The Kid with the Golden Explosive Nose
The Spy Who Loved Me So Much He Had To Give Me His DNA as a Souvenir
Moonraker, Snotsprayer
For Your Arm Only
Octo-lieber! My Arm!!
A View of My Arm
The Living Daylights Scared Out of Me by a Ten Year Old's Nose
Licence to Kill... If Only I Had One
GoldenEye, RunnyNose
Tomorrow Never Dies, But I Died Inside a Little Today
The World Doesn't Have Enough Kleenex
Sneeze Another Day... and NOT On My Arm!
Casino Royale Facial Tissue
Quantum of Solace That I'll Never See That Kid Again

We have your author, (me), with very little to write about tonight, except this one, little, incident, that he is going to milk longer, and harder, than Elsie at a Borden's Convention.

Could be worse, could be an O'Leary convention... you (the author) being from Chicago and all.

It's like back when our president

our president? I've got my union president. Is that who you mean? But then he wouldn't be our president either. Hmmm... Nope. Ya lost me already.

was asked to give the Gettysburg Address in front of a lot of people back in '63, a week before my birthday, and he stood up and said, "No problemo, it's 341 Bonnie Meadow Lane, Gettysburg Pennsylvania, 40895" ( Ol Abe thought it was funny, they didn't.)

Oddly enough, that happens to be my president's address, so we must be talking about the same guy. I don't know Abe, though, or why he'd think it was funny.

Then he was informed they wanted him to talk about how he felt that mankind, especially OUR mankind in the USA, should be treating each other now that it's been almost 90 years as a nation,,,and he said, "Oh, the way you want to be treated yourself."

You weren't kidding when you said you were gonna milk this one...

Randy Jackson's brother, Stonewall and his Limping With the Stars.

Generally speaking, isn't Randy also a confederate of his?

Or that other new show, Gidget goes to Tara. Up and coming actress Betty White had gotten the lead role,,,, as Gidget's Grandmother.

Man, She's been old forever!

So that is how we ended up with "Four score,,,,,,, and ,,, um,,,,

seven,,, yeah, that's it, seven years ago, our Mothers brought forth,,,, hold it,,, you know, it might work better if it was fathers........"

I watch too much American TV... but then again, that's where all the good shows are.

Well, you get the point, he was just embellishing)

[can you believe I remembered that second parenthisis at the end of all that?]

No, actually I'm gobsmacked! (like your arm was (I read ahead (that's how I knew about the arm (in case you were wondering (or whatever)))))

I have been fortunate this entire trip, 'cept for the drive down, no real injuries for me,,,,

But anguish from your readers.

but things were about to change!

Yay!!! ... Ummm... I mean. Oh, dear. That's too bad.

We got to where you go up the stairs, still following behind the perfect family, the Nelsons, (ask your mothers), then we came down the stairs right by the loading station.

Nope... not that old. Do you really remember a show from 1966??

That was when he blew up.

I can't possibly top the Calvin picture that winkers put up. Which was awesome by the way. Does anyone know a better comic strip then Calvin and Hobbes? Of course not... 'cause there isn't one.

(If you said "The Far Side" I'll give you points for trying)

Apparently, the boy had sneezed a bit on Harriet Nelson, his mother, and she then spoke words to him that made me at first a bit nervous, but then with just a little bit of thought, my heart almost stop!

I knew right away, what she was going to say.

With the gate right in front of them, we were all extremely close to each other, and there was no backing up on our part, and empty space has a life expectancy at DisneyWorld of a Kardashian husband.

Sorry, nothing is that short.

"Johnny, if you have to sneeze, at least turn away and cover your mouth."

Hah! I knew it! Ya gotta be quick in these situations. A quick tap on the shoulder, "But don't turn this way, kid. Actually, your mom wants you to look her in the eye the next time you sneeze... just in case your eyes pop out... it happens sometimes."

Anybody see where this is going?

Waaaaay ahead of you.... and until you clean yourself off, that's where I'd like to stay, thank you very much.

Only this time he made sure to listen to his mommy and turn around before it came out, and boy did it come out!

This was like the Mother of all Sneezes!

Have you ever bought your kid a Super Soaker?
Have you ever bought yourself a Super Soaker?

I'm feeling a little nauseous...

And he had spun around just like mommy had said when he fired off his salvo, only he left out the "covering your mouth" part of it.

Maybe more than a little nauseous...

Or, to be more specific in this instance, the "covering your NOSE" part of the equation which read like the Pythagorean Theorem, "A" sneeze, plus "B" sneeze, ="C", Nebosneezed-eed." I became the hypotenuse, withoiut the noose.

But I bet you wished you had one, at that point.

He sneezed all over my arm, then turned and climbed into the car with the rest of his family.

No, not on my shirt sleeves,,, I didn't have any.
He sneezed on my bare and totally exposed, naked, arm!
Then he ran, and the get-a-way car took off.

Yup. A lot nauseous...

It was a "Leaving the sneeze of an expectorant" , it was a "Sneeze and Run", both felonies.

One's worse than the other, by a nose. I thought it was going to be bad but it'snot. Or maybe it is. Or not.

And at this very moment, nobody, including Smidgy, is aware of the horror that just took place. She saw that
he sneezed in my direction, she DIDN'T see the buffet of ice creams, custards, yogurts, puddings, cottage cheese
dumplings and lime jello he laid out on the serving table,
my arm.

Now I'm feeling sick... Look away! Look away! "Nothing to see here, folks." D'oh!

Wanna know what I was?

An armload smorgasbord?

Yes, you're right!
I was aghast, agape and agog, again.

Egad!

Finally, she notices Cinderella's Royal Table up and down most of my left arm,

and she screams!

That must have been some ride!

ON the way out, a lady in a hurry almost made a fatal mistake by pushing her way past me. I instinctively spun around to protect her from the toxic exposed area, it was a natural reaction although she deserved it but I was raised too well.

You? Maybe. Her? Apparently not so much.

What this did do though was to make me actually, finally, have to look at it,

and it sent me into anaphylactic shock!
I just stood there with my arms both extended in front of me, shaking and trembling and yelling,,
"GET IT OFF OF ME, GET IT OFF!"

Look Mommy! That man over there is funny? Is he part of the show?
Yes, Dear... Now quickly let's just walk away, okay?

I considered looking for the All American Family and accidentally brushing up against either the Mom or the kid,
but go ahead, picture trying to explain that to security when the Morlocks come out and seize me for the safty of all the others in the park.

So, Mr. Nebo. Do you often rub up against young boys? Hmmmm? Now where'd I put my rubber hose, phonebook and baseball bat?

Geesh, the strangest things can happen to me.
Well, at least that's over with, I finally got the "dumb and stupid incident" out of the way on this trip.

Right?

Uh, oh.

Wait, wasn't that how I started this commentary?

When I felt like I was properly de-bugered,

de-bugered: To remove nasal discharges from a personal surface while refraining from revisiting lunch.

I still feel really dumb here, Diane got a FP just to be able to walk me through the dark line, especially when I hate to wear my glasses in here, I did before, but it really felt like they were trying to vibrate off my face, and let's not play that game this trip, ok?

Awww... Well considering what you just went through (Hereafter referred to as: what no man (or woman) should have to endure.) I'll let it slide...

down your arm...

drip...

great, now I'm making myself sick.

She's always afraid they will make her have to do something she doesn't want to do.

Like what? I'd be real curious to know what she thinks is going to happen.

So, now I am left in the "Don't worry, I'll take good care of him" Julie, who held my hand as we waited.

I considered telling her I'd feel a whole lot safer if she had her arm around me, but boy that can be such a subtle difference between looking 18,,,, but really only being 17, and I got a feeling I don't look at all like I'm 17 anymore.

Oh, I'm sure you could pull it off....

Forget I said that.

One thing during the ride I didn't think of, and you will see it in the picture,,,,, ok,,,

"What is he doing?" you are asking yourselves.

I could not for the life of me figure it out. At first I thought, "Well, he knows where the camera is and is mugging for it." But I defy anyone to be able to do that on that ride.

As stupid as the answer is, it's just as obvious which doesn't make it any smarter:

I'm holding my hands over my ears to make sure the bionic ear helpers don't vibrate themselves rigth out of there!

That's funny! Wonder what others seeing the picture thought you were doing.

Thanks for the chapter!