Overwhelmed

[maedelken]

I have the same feeling I always want to pick up the phone and call her and then I remember I can't. I feel like my husband is surprised that I am not dealing with this better. For months I gave the impression that I had it all together. Yes I had my moments but I looked okay. Now all of a sudden I am not dealing with the loss very well and I think that it has shocked him. I do feel cheated, and I feel like it is so unfair. I have found that reading everyone advice and personal experience has helped me. I felt like I had no one to talk too no one that understood. I come to this board all of he time and I thought lets give it a try. I almost erased my post in fact I tried to go back and edit to erase it but I couldn't figure it out. I am so glad I couldn't. I feel selfish about talking to my siblings or Dad because I know they are having a hard time too and I don't want to dump my feelings on them. Thank you so much for all of the help.

 

[pbharris4]

I always wanted to call my parents (I did it every week for several years) and it was weird when I couldn't. When my parents died...I felt (and sometimes still do after a few years) alone. No one knew me better, no one loves you more than your parents. I think it's that kid in us that needs to feel the love and protection. For me talking to people who I don't know helps more..I feel I can cry in front of them. I can not cry in front of people I know even my DH..it makes me feel weak and I will go to another room. Two months after my Dad died I got pregnant with our second daughter (we had been trying for over a year). I got pregnant on my birthday. I swear it was a present from them! I even prayed for a good sleeper (my first wasn't a good sleeper at all..still isn't) and I got that too! ) McKenna was a true blessing from heaven and really helped me get through that rough time. My only wish is that they had met her. What's weird is that MY mom lost her mother the year before I was born and her father 4 months after I was born. It's almost like Deja Vu. Just want to give you a big hug and remember all the good times you had. And talk what ever you need to talk about.

 

[pbharris4]

I also wanted to mention that DH's friend had lost his brother to cancer. The brother was in his early 40's and Kevin was like 35 at the time. Although he had time to sort of come to terms with losing him..when he did pass away he just couldn't handle it. Finally, I told my DH to tell him to see his doctor which he did and was put on zoloft for awhile.

 

[beccalines]

I am so sorry about losing your mom. I haven't had anything like that happen to me--but I do know what it is like to be overwhelmed. Hang in there!!!!!!!

One of my friends takes Vitamin B and Niacin when she starts feeling this way. Her husband will even ask if she's had them if she seems in funk. You might want to try. She says that they seem to make the do doable again.

 

[flipflop]

The advice you have already been given here has been great. I am sorry for your loss. You are not alone. I feel overwhelmed sometimes too - hang in there.

 

[WDWLinda]

When my dad died it was very sudden...we were all shocked and I knew I had to get help for my Mom. We tried two different therapists, but she wasn't comfortable talking one on one and they didn't work out. Then I heard of a bereavement group run out of our local Jewish Center. We're not Jewish, but anyone can join. I got my Mom to go to the group for spouses, and it really helped her. She said it helped to talk to people who were going through the same thing. There was a moderator who steers the conversation and the group met once a week. They also had a group for people who lost parents. I couldn't attend cuz I live too far away, but maybe you could look for something like this in your area. Call local churches or temples and ask around. I'm sure it would help you to meet with people you don't know who are going through the same thing. You never know these groups are out there unless you ask around.

Good luck..at least you know there are a lot of strangers here who are pulling for you. I hope some of this advice helps.

~Linda