Overdue and Overpacked III: A Tale of Two Cities ~Last Chapter~ 8/22 Page 33

[ILuvWishes!]

I would think, anyway. I didn’t do so well in Physics. Math. Chemistry. Woodshop. Home Ec. Driver’s Ed. I kicked butt in the Spelling Bee in the fourth grade though. Just in case anyone’s forgotten and needs reminding.

I don't see "Gold Medal Waterslide Champion". Or am I thinking of someone else.......

 

[ukwildcat]

Please tell me you or your DH rode Spiderman. Please. If you didn't I may have to go and pull a Zzub. It is literally the best ride of all the rides. Period.

We'll be at US and IOA for the day in 2 weeks. Sans kids. We've only been 1 time before, but we loved it. Glad to hear you're having a good time.

But please, Spiderman.

 

[ZZUB]

I don't see "Gold Medal Waterslide Champion". Or am I thinking of someone else.......

Yeah, you are. His name is spelled ZZUB. La2 likes to front that she won the Gold Medal in Waterslide. She is sadly disturbed. Dimented and even pimentoed. Like the loaf. The only Olympic medal she won was in pickled egg eating. She took Bronze at that. It occurs to me she came pert near picking up a medal in spelling. But she got tripped up by Fuji. And a lot.

Please tell me you or your DH rode Spiderman. Please. If you didn't I may have to go and pull a Zzub.

I assume what you mean is you'll fall madly in love with a slice of cake and write songs about it? Or will you just punish the bathrooms in EPCOT? Could you be more specific?

This Trip Report is a lot nicer without La2 around to comment on it.

 

[Tinkerbellarella]

This Trip Report is a lot nicer without La2 around to comment on it.

:Moped:

:Moped:
It's the new

Who knew smilies were case-sensitive.

Miss ya Z!

Oh and La ~ considering this is YOUR TR and all, I'd be remiss if I didn't comment on your latest and greatest chapter but I won't get all quote-crazy because I'm feeling rather lazy.

...

And apparently channeling Dr. Seuss.

ANYWHO.

Captain America, Captain Shmamerica.

The Captain should be ashamed. He should have been de-superheroed right then and there. Spandex and all.

And that is why I myself will always be a Batman lover. While brave and heroic, at least he wears his fear of committment (though not his utility belt) on his sleeve.

 

[lexmelinda]

Loved episodes 9 and 10.

You always make me laugh, La.

And now you've got me checking the Universal boards, too.

Dangit.

I will be back to ask for your advice when the time comes to book my Ersal Studios trip.

Because I gotta get me some of those cookies and milk.

 

[LaLa]

Bad news first. Apparently you now have to...

Pretend to have won gold in the Olympic Waterslide Event over and over again even though everyone knows darn well you didn't!

Burst a blood vessel in your eye each and every Saturday during football season from too much yelling at the TV. And pizza roll consumption.

Secretly wish you'd gone to MSU instead of Bama so you could yell "Go State...Go State" and shake a cowbell over your head.

Fall asleep in the middle of a busy lobby JUST so you can dream about cake.

Imagine that people have quoted Carrie Underwood when they haven't. Not to their knowledge, anyway.

Blame your soon to be former assistant when you manage to clear out the conference room after a lunch consisting of kweesadillas and kweeso dip.

Butcher the spelling of every word in the English vocabulary besides "cake".

Insult perfectly nice girls on their trip reports for no apparent reason.


Sorry to disappoint ya, UK, but we did not ride Spiderman. I'm not really sure why other than the fact that it was late in the afternoon by the time we made it around there and we were all ready to head out by that point. But since we've returned, we've been hearing it's a pretty cool ride. All is not lost though. Because all that means is that we'll have to go back again to give it a shot. Have a great time on your trip. Sans kids. DH and I just spent a few days alone while the kids took a trip to their grandparent's and although we missed them terribly, it was really nice to reconnect. Would've been nicer to reconnect over a Spiderman ride but we'll take it any way we can get it.

By the way, NM says she wasn't playing around about the Double D thing. She also says she takes hers with one sugar and a buttload of creamer. And hop to it. She said that with some serious attitude, I might add. Just between me and you, I wouldn't put up with it.

Before I go any further, I'm under strict orders to let everyone know that ZZUB was (cough) right and that THIS...

...is not DH.

It's me.

And Mel.

Three guesses who's who.

ZZUB, why you gotta be hatin' on the man capris? I figure a fella like you would be all over them. They'd go perfect with your murse. Excuse me. European carry all.

Is it wrong to covet food porn from a stranger?

Not when it's (say it with me) Pork Pad Thai from Mythos and especially not when it ROCKED! Because it did. In case I failed to mention that.

And this, LaLa, is why I enjoy your TRs so much - you have a great ability to verbalize moments like this that we all experience (gosh - at least I hope well do!) and cherish.

Thanks, PrincessV. That was really sweet. I appreciate it, woman.

Loved episodes 9 and 10.

You always make me laugh, La.

And now you've got me checking the Universal boards, too.

Dangit.

I will be back to ask for your advice when the time comes to book my Ersal Studios trip.

Because I gotta get me some of those cookies and milk.

Lexmelinda's checkin' out the Universal boards? What's the world coming to? In all honesty, I think yall would have a great time, LM. And come on back, I'll be happy to spill what little Ersal knowledge I have on you. For starters, THE MILK AND COOKIES ARE WORTH THE PRICE OF THE TRIP ALONE!!!

Srsly.

That's a sad excuse of Capt. America
Maybe he to is depressed over the economic slowdown.

DED!

Lala, Only you can use the words Hongry and Amuse Bouche in the same post and get away with it.

Loved, loved, loved this post!

Loved, loved, loved THIS post. Even without a Happy Birthday cake for Greta. SNEEZIE'S IN THE HOUSE! Good to see you, Sneezie.

I also said Pork Pad Thai outloud - just so you know the power of your TR.

Thanks for sharing, jenb. That made me smile. And just so you know, I ALSO said pork pad thai out loud when I wrote it. Several times, as a matter of fact. And then one more again for good measure.

And I totally meant to call it Pluto's Bilge Rat Barges.

Or did I?

I only grabbed chips, soda, and some frosted donettes from the gas station
but, and I kid you not, my coworker tried to get me to buy some hot dogs from there
She was all like check out their hot dog selection when you go.

Since when did you start working with Frick?! Tell her I said what up and make sure she uses a calculator. Or else there's gonna be consequences and repercussions.

Thinking about it, this was actually the first theme park I'd been to since I was 5 years old. So really, it was the first proper ride I'd ever been on! It was a hot, sunny LA morning, literally without a cloud in the sky. We just LOVED Jurassic Park. The pretend dinosaurs, the mist, the smells, the screams when T-Rex almost bit our heads off... just FUN!!

Thanks to you, I just rerode JP in my mind. Just like that. Thanks, AussieAngel! I was DED over the Captain America boo too.

And thanks micandminforever, Tinkerbellarella, IluvWishes, LisaMWDW, scrap4u, and MomofCKJ!

All this talk about gas station deli food has made me hongry. I'm out to see what I can score at the 7-11 down the street. I hear they serve up some pretty good chocolate cake.

Preace.

Whatever that means.

 

[ukwildcat]

Zzub, yes, and yes, in whatever order you like.

Dunkin over-roasts their beans, thus the burned (or burnt for Lala) taste. I would expect a fellow SEC man to know that.

Something we can celebrate together though: I was at the UK/LSU football game last year. I think anytime either of our respective schools beats LSU/UT/UF we can cheer.

La - nice to meet your spouse again, huh. We just spent 6 days alone last month. I feel you, though, on missing the kids.

Happy weekend all.

 

[javamom]

La, I loved every water-soaked moment!

 

[ZZUB]

And secondly, I too, had a Sneezie moment. We were in the Super Wal*Mart last night and I wandered past the packaged cake section and for a brief moment, I considered having one decorated with Happy Birthday Greta on it. But I resisted. Only b/c I didn't want to have to explain to ZZUBY that Greta was really Sneezie, one of Daddy's imaginary internet friends. The kid's going to need enough therapy as it is; I don't want to have to explain this to her counselor one day.

As for La2's delusional waterslide Olympic medal, even a cursory review of our respective TRs will reveal which of the two of us ACTUALLY won gold. And which of us (named: LaLa) have tried desperately for 3 years now to convince people she took a medal in a sport I created. I reckon it must be tough. Living as she does. In a cramped little trailer. Dreaming one day of moving up. To a double wide.

FWIW: what made Mythos good? Was it the food? The atmosphere? The brands of water you've actually heard of? Or was it like Chef Mickeys, and did they have really cool bathrooms, tucked into a corner, down a flight of narrow stairs?

 

[lexmelinda]

Mythos does look cool and I love pork pad thai. I'll add it to my imaginary IOA itinerary.

Now my daughter wants to youtube all the IOA rides so we can check them out. And although Jurassic Park does sounds like the bomb diggity (urban dictionary dot com, UK), I'm staying away from that Bilge-Rat ride. I don't like to be wet all day. We don't ride Kali either. I KNOW!

Good to know Captain America gave the boy his props but still that kinda stuff goes all over me. I wouldn't have blamed your sweet boy if he had walked away.

Here's a little sumpm sumpm I found for you.....

 

[javamom]

Is it just me, or does, bomb diggity sound like something they should add to the menu at Dairy Queen?!!!


"I'll take one Bomb Diggity, and a side of Butter Grilled Pound Cake with soft serve, please!"

 

[LaLa]

As for La2's delusional waterslide Olympic medal, even a cursory review of our respective TRs will reveal which of the two of us ACTUALLY won gold.

Did you actually win gold, ZZUB? Hmmm?

I'll let you ponder that for a moment. You can catch up when you're done.

Hi there. Back so soon?

And I do not steal from your pathetic little trip report (s). In fact, I've never even read them. Recently anyway. Gawd forbid a million times. Oy vey! You're such a cheesesteak.

Moving on. Dot org.

FWIW: what made Mythos good? Was it the food? The atmosphere? The brands of water you've actually heard of? Or was it like Chef Mickeys, and did they have really cool bathrooms, tucked into a corner, down a flight of narrow stairs?

Simple. Not a single Sno Cap in sight.

I reckon it must be tough. Living as she does. In a cramped little trailer. Dreaming one day of moving up. To a double wide.

You obviously know nothing about me. Or anything else, for that matter. Except for cake. You know cake, I'll give you that. And Disney. How to fart on command. And throw out the snark. MCHamma lyrics. How to create a radish rose with one hand tied behind your back. I would imagine. But that's it. Just to fill you in though, my dreams and ambitions are much higher than that, Z. My ultimate dream is that one day I, too, can live in a van down by the river.

NOZZUB.

Lexmelinda! I LOVE the dancing Hamma! Love it! That cracked my butt up.
I can just hear 2L2Q in my head now. Can't you?

Good to know Captain America gave the boy his props but still that kinda stuff goes all over me. I wouldn't have blamed your sweet boy if he had walked away.

He definitely dropped a notch or two in his book that day. Not enough to turn and walk away and tell him to talk to the hand, which is what I felt like doing, but he was less than enthused and didn't want to see any more superheroes that day. One thing I meant to comment on earlier was what MomofCKJ said about the characters not having it together there like at Disney. And that's definitely true. They could stand to take a few pointers from Disney where that's concerned. Of course, the lines aren't gonna be anywhere near as long for characters like Bullwinkle and the Grinch as they are for, say, Mickey and Minnie and the gang. So there's not as much traffic that needs controlling. But still. Our experiences with the characters were pretty disorganized and you basically have to depend on yourself and the parents around you to keep up with who's next in line. And in a crowded, hot theme park with little ones in tow, that's just a recipe for disaster.

But the rides and Universal Express are the bomb diggity.

Is it just me, or does, bomb diggity sound like something they should add to the menu at Dairy Queen?!!!


"I'll take one Bomb Diggity, and a side of Butter Grilled Pound Cake with soft serve, please!"

DED!!!

They actually do serve that at Sonic. It goes by the name "Holiday Mint Blast" and it's only available during the month of December.

Unfortunately.

 

[Chapter 11]

Chapter 11: The One Named After Chapter 11

My favorite chapter.

The waiter walked by and I paused in mid lick to throw out “Yall got any a' that there faincy Fuji water?”

DH added "Bring us a round and put it on Sea Bass’s tab".

After I called him Flo and asked him what the soup du jour was.

And then giggled.

Sometimes (like right now) I think if would be useful if you would publish a reader's guide so we could divine what the heck it is you're talking about.

Jurassic Park Discovery Center. It’s the new amuse bouche.

Check out La -- goin' all continental on us. It's only a matter of time before you stop shaving your pits and start smoking unfiltered cigs. And now, upon reflecting upon the mental image I have created, I have to go throw up in my mouth a little.

Actually, I wasn’t thinking at all. You don’t have time to think up there. If you think, you’re dead.

Gutsiest move I ever saw, man.

So I did what I always do when I see a ride photo I like. I pulled out my camera, aimed it at the screen, and instead of hearing my shutter click, I heard this instead:

“YOU CAN”T TAKE A PICTURE OF THAT!!!!!!! PUT THE CAMERA AWAY, MAAM!”

Cold busted.

That's okay -- I'm sure it would've been out of focus anyway.

Because wherever there’s laughter, I consider it a good time.

Beautiful sentiment, La. We could use more of your cheerful optimism in this day and age.

I was livid all over again. Li-vid.

Serenity now.

Lovely chapter as usual. Your talent for putting us in the moment is really amazing.

 

[DVCTiff]

The Fuji?!

What the heck was that? We’ll have the Fuji?!

I know it’s Fiji. I KNOW this. Yet still, I told him to go ‘head on and hook us up with some of that there fancy Fuji water. And make it snappy, boy. I was DED the instant it came out of my mouth. In slow motion. I tried to grab the word and shove it back in. No dice. It was out there. Lingering on the air. Mocking me with its blatant incorrectness. The only other time I’d ever felt that dumb was when I mistakenly referred to a desk as a “deskes” at the very end of a rather lengthy job interview. Didn’t work out so well for me, that one.

But I digress. Back to the Fuji.

I could barely stifle the "Laugh that would get me fired."

Killer. DED.

 

[LaLa]

Oh. There he is.

And he's just as surprised as I am that Chappie left me hangin'.

Sometimes (like right now) I think if would be useful if you would publish a reader's guide so we could divine what the heck it is you're talking about.

Obviously you eschew Dumb (and Dumber) Jim Carrey movies. It's one of our all time favorite movies ever (no, you shouldn't be surprised) and the diner scene with Sea Bass and "Flo" is classic. At least it is for us. If you haven't watched it, you should. You'll laugh so hard you'll get buckteeth. NOFrick. Anyway, that's what it's all about. I would think The Smartest Lawyer I Know would know that.

Gutsiest move I ever saw, man.

Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and pull something like this. And TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!

Beautiful sentiment, La. We could use more of your cheerful optimism in this day and age.

Thanks, Chappie. I appreciated this, friend.

It's only a matter of time before you stop shaving your pits and start smoking unfiltered cigs.

What makes you think I haven't already?

I could barely stifle the "Laugh that would get me fired."

Ahhh, I know that laugh well. Glad you're enjoying it, DVCTiff!

 

[burly]

LaLa glad you loved Mythos. I always get risotto there and it's da bomb! Loved Chapter 11. We did know about the soaking on the "wet" rides and prepared, then did them repeatedly 3 times each. One of the laughingest days of our trip. Sure wish you would have done spiderman; fabu ride!!

 

[hucifer]

I sheepishly put my camera away and joined my family in the traditional LaLa family post camera violation dance. Otherwise known as the “sidestep it out the nearest door without making eye contact with anybody in the building."

You have such a way with words, La. Loved these last two installments.

And I was told by my boss that Marthos (or whatever it's called) is well-known for its amazing food. Me, always the sucker for good food, am so all over that. It's hard to pass up a claim like that.

 

[LaLa]

As we squeaked and squished our way back toward the Royal Pacific that day, we had one thing and one thing only on our mind.

Getting dry.

And then getting wet again.

Frick Math. Nuff said.

We’d had a big day and were looking to slow things down a little that evening. And to us, that means the big Double R. NODoubleD. Yep, we were in for some serious resort relaxin’. Well, kind of. The kids were looking for some more pool action but I was looking for a slight change of pace. And a lil sumpm sumpm extra.

As much as we loved our resort pool area, there was one thing missing from the setup. There was no waterslide. And to us, vacation without a waterslide is like Sonny without the Cher. Hall without the Oates. Luke without the Laura. Peanut butter without the jelly. Chang chang changity chang without the shoo bop. In other words, to our family, it just ain’t vacation until we’ve done some waterslidin’. Smack talkin’. And gold medal winnin’. But sadly, because of that one missing element at our resort, there would be no Olympic Waterslide Event held at the Royal Pacific on this vacation.

Or that vacation. Or any other, for that matter.

But all was not lost. Because it just so happens that I’d done enough research to know that the other two Universal resorts did, in fact, have waterslides. I may not have known what time the park opened, but I dang sure knew the location of the nearest waterslide. Because it’s all about priorities. What’s even more shocking is that unlike at Disney, pool hopping between resorts is actually encouraged at the Loews properties.

Pool hopping. Encouraged! Can you believe it?!

A thousand locked threads just rolled over in their graves.

So our big plans for the evening involved doing a little PERFECTLY LEGAL pool hopping and a little laundry. Because A) we could and B) we ain’t down with wearing stinky wet clothes. Any more than we have to, that is.

DH wasn’t really feeling the hump it across the properties pool action so he volunteered to stay behind to do the laundry instead. You just gotta love a man who volunteers to do the laundry all by himself on vacation. That is allright in my book. So while my sweet man laundered and folded, the kids and I set out to find a suitable pool in which to get our slide on.

It should be well noted that both Portofino Bay and the Hard Rock Hotel have waterslides. We could go to either one and it would be perfectly fine. But although Portofino is considered top dawg where the three Universal resorts are concerned and probably would’ve been much “prettier” than the Hard Rock, there was one thing the Hard Rock had that Portofino didn’t. And it was that one thing (or, more accurately, twelve things) that immediately catapulted the Hard Rock over Portofino in my mind the second I found out about it.

Two words.

Underwater Speakers.

Yeah baby!

How cool is that? Supposedly the place has twelve underwater speakers mounted in the pool. And in my book, that’s just downright bad. If not phat. With shades of bomb diggity. I didn’t care what the pool and/or waterslide looked like. It mattered not. You could take a neon orange inflatable three ring pool from the Dollar Tree, back it on up to a swingset and snake a garden hose down the slide and tell me you’ve got underwater speakers incorporated in it and MY TAIL WOULD BE THERE.

With bells on.

Yelling to the neighbors, “Hey! Yall come check out these Underwater Speakers! That sucka knows it’s bad!”

Luckily for us, the Hard Rock set up was just a touch above what passed for a waterslide in our backyard on the Fouth of July. Which is a good thing. Especially with all those pesky trees hangin’ around. Because I can assure you, sliding full tilt into a tree is NOT a fastpass. Well, not unless someone films the debacle and you wind up winning the Here’s Your Sign Award from Bill Engvall.

NOZZUB.

Our first stop on our journey to the Land of the Underwater Speakers was the concierge desk, where we sought advice on the fastest way to travel between resorts. Based on the sage counsel of the gentleman working the desk, we (I) decided to take the shuttle bus instead of the water taxi in order to avoid the Ticket and Transportation Center-esque changing of boats at Citywalk. Then I asked when the next shuttle bus would arrive. “Ten minutes”, was his reply. His eyes briefly rested on the overpacked beach bag I was dragging behind me and he observed the kids poking each other in the ears with spit covered fingers and laughing like there was no tomorrow. And then he quickly followed it with “but if you miss that one, another one will be along shortly after that.”

Funny how a complete stranger can know me so well.

Knowing how long it took to get my little crew moving and due to the fact that we’d never been to the bus depot before, I got some quick directions, thanked him and we took off like a shot. In a half run, half walk. Wanting to hurry up and get where we were going but still not wanting to shift into complete dork mode just yet. In these instances, the half run, half walk, half dork is the ticket. The only problem is it didn’t help. Because I proceeded to get us lost, turned around, and downright confused in just under one minute.

The resort is huge, sprawling even. And one of my (many) shortcomings is that I am horrible with directions. Always have been. In fact, when I was in high school, my friends never let me drive anywhere for this reason and this reason alone. Well, that painfully embarrassing road test in Drivers Ed where I ran five stop signs in a row and to compensate, stopped at five imaginary ones (just to be on the safe side) and then took out a curb for good measure as I made an illegal U turn could’ve had something to do with it as well.

But mostly it was the directions thing.

The point is that I have a horrible sense of direction. So over the years I’ve come to rely on my husband, who has an uncanny ability to find his way around even unfamiliar territory, to get me where I need to be. Which is one of the reasons he always drives. Three guesses what the other one is. But on this day, it was all me. And I’d gotten us lost. Well, turned around may be a better word for it.

It took a few minutes but we eventually got back on the right track and located the shuttle bus depot. Or, what I thought was the shuttle bus depot.

Our only clue was this sign.

Yes, there was the sign. But it didn’t look like any shuttle bus depot I’d ever seen. In other words, we were the only people in sight. For miles. And there was only one small (ish) three foot long bench. Which was kind of weird.

We took a seat though and after a few minutes of waiting and wondering, wandering and waiting, we spotted a bus. Yes sir. Here we go. Thinking it was the shuttle bus come to take us to check out The Place With the Underwater Speakers, we stood up. And got ready to clothesline anybody that might try to insinuate themselves between us and the door of that bus. You know, the way we do at Disney resorts.

Kidding.

Or am I?

Instead of being welcomed onto the bus though, we were flatly ignored and nearly trampled as scores of people came waltzing out the door. Carrying their adult beverages in hand. Laughing loudly. Tossing their hair. And funneling out onto the pavement. It was like watching clowns climb out of Volkswagon at the circus. Only not as creepy. After the parade of humans finally ended three days after it began, I asked the driver if this was the shuttle bus to the other resorts. He looked me dead in the eye, laughed and said one word. "No." Then he climbed back into his bus and left.

Stirring up the tumbleweed in his wake.

About fifteen minutes later, I spotted a couple of housekeepers and became giddy at the thought of having another human being sharing our air space. As they walked past, I ventured, “Excuse me, miss?” One of the ladies hesitated and glanced back over her shoulder at me. And managed a weak “Aloha”. Which I returned. To her displeasure. Apparently. Then she hem hawed around and turned back to face me. After a whole lot of conversation with her friend. So I started with the questions.

"Hi, we’re trying to get to the Hard Rock pool and were told to catch the shuttle bus. Is this where we’re supposed to be? If so, do you know how often do the busses come by?"

And as she inched closer toward me, she smiled shyly and repeated “Aloha?”

Great. Here we go again.

You should assume she no speaka de English. You should assume I asked her if she could at least hook me up with a churro or two before she walked away and left us all alone. Pondering the confused exchange. Yet again.

You should assume we didn’t get our churro.

But we did finally get our shuttle bus.

Only after we’d had ourselves a little impromptu freestyle dance competition to pass the time. Complete with swim goggles on our heads and break dancing. The kids danced. I judged. They made me alternate between Simon and Paula and I brought the niceties and criticism like nobody’s business. So what if it was a cross between American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance? It’s vacation. And on vacation, you’re allowed to make up your own rules. Shows. And words. It's in the Unwritten Rulebook right between the one about unhampered cooler access and run-walking through empty queues.

And yes. You should assume So You Think You're an American Idol was a good time. Yet another unexpected special little moment to add to the growing list.

We boarded the bus and were shocked to find we were the only occupants. You gotta love it when that happens. It’s like riding in your own really big limo. Without all the fake stars in the ceiling. The weird seating configuration. And the lipstick stained glasses from the people who were there before you.

We happened to get a great driver though because once she found out where we were headed, she scrapped her original plan to stop and pick up at Portofino first and instead dropped us off at the Hard Rock immediately. That was pretty cool and very much appreciated. Within just a few minutes, she was dropping us off at The Home of The Underwater Speakers and told us when and where she would be picking back up. We took off toward the direction of the pool and I took great pains to make mental notes of where we were in relation to the building. So we didn’t get turned around again on the way out.

Gawd forbid a million times.

Oy vey!

We headed off in search of some fun.

Once we entered the pool area, we noticed one thing immediately. The vibe for the Hard Rock is completely different from the one we’d gotten used to at the Royal Pacific. The RPR has a very relaxed atmosphere. The Hard Rock is nothing like that. It’s full on energy. Frenzied energy, even. I was surprised to find they had a live band playing on stage just in front of the pool. They also had a hula hoop contest for kids going on at the time and there were kids everywhere you looked. All in all, we thought the place rocked.

Literally. And figuratively.

We found a few chairs and stashed our stuff then hit the pool, where the very first thing we did was find the entrance to the waterslide and get our slide on. It was one of the best slides ever, as far as pool resorts go. It was fast, it was long and there were lots of dips and curves. The band eventually gave it a rest and let AC/DC take over and we slid and swam to the tune of Thunderstruck. Which was pretty darn cool. So I raised my hands up in the air and did the head banger thing as we walked up the steps for yet another go on the slide.

Which may have been why the boy began to distance himself from me.

Ever so slightly.

Okay so I didn’t actually do the head banger thing. I did something worse. I reminded him of the sliding order. I reminded him that I was sliding first, then his sister was to go and he would follow up the rear. So I can be at the bottom when they both come down and the youngest is not left at the top of the slide by herself. But as I was reminding him to make sure his sister came down before he did, he began to side step away from me. And say “Who are you? I’ve never seen you before a day in my life and furthermore, let the record show I am not now nor have I ever been related to you in any way, shape or form.”

With his eyes.

Hold the phone.

Was he actually giving me The Look? I know that look. I know it because I’d shot it off to my parents a time or two back in the day. So what on earth was my son doing serving it back up to me? Here? On vacation? Could he actually be…embarrassed? Of moi? What on earth is going on here? This isn’t supposed to happen until he’s at least 13.

Or 29.

As I pondered what could possibly be embarrassing about having your mom slide down the waterslide with you and reminding you to watch your little sister, my eyes rested on my son. As his eyes rested on a cute little girl in line directly in front of us. And then it hit me. He was trying to put out the prenager vibe and I was messing it up. So I grabbed him and gave him a big old kiss on the cheek and ruffled his hair with my hand. Squeezed his cheeks and called him Mama’s wittle man. Or at least I wanted to. Instead, I just stood there. The lone adult in a crowd of kids. In my dripping wet bathing suit. Suddenly feeling very... tall. And a little bit sad. Because that one look represented the start of it for me. The dreaded start of the breaking away. Before you know it, he’ll have no time for toys or playing anymore. He’ll be too busy heading out the door to meet his buddies or picking up his date for the prom. Which is how it should be. It’s my prayer that he’s able to experience all the irreplaceable joys those days will bring. I just don’t want it to come too soon.

Yet I know full well it will.

We went down the slide one more time and when we got to the bottom, the girl announced she’d had enough of the sliding and wanted to watch the other kids compete in the hula hoop contest. So she swam away from me, crossed the pool, and found a perch directly in front of the action with the rest of the kids while the boy climbed out of the pool and took off like a shot to slide again. As he rounded the corner and disappeared from my line of vision, I remember thinking how much his little back looked exactly the way it did when he was a baby. Only bigger. Broader. And stronger.

Funny the details Moms focus on.

I found a neutral spot in the pool where I could watch them both. The girl and the boy. Large, crowded pools (especially somewhere like Orlando) make me nervous so I spent most of the next twenty minutes or so frantically alternating my line of vision from one child’s head to the other. Making sure they didn’t wander off. They were oblivious to their mom’s watchful gaze and looked to be really enjoying the opportunity to experience a little bit of freedom. They were making friends and stretching their legs. While I sat back and took it all in.

As the band began to play again, I dipped my head down into the pool to check out The Cooler Than Cool Underwater Speakers.

And then I smiled weakly and said “Huh. How ‘bout that? They actually work.”

To no one in particular.

After awhile, the boy tired of sliding and the hula hoop contest ended. They spotted me and swam back over. After I made them dive under to check out The Underwater Speakers (you didn’t actually think I would leave without sharing the experience with them, did you?), we climbed out, dried off, checked the time, and got moving back toward our resort.

I called my husband on his cell as we were leaving to give him our ETA and he told me he’d go ahead and grab a poolside table at Bula for supper and wait for us.

I’m happy to announce that we did not get lost on our way back to the Hard Rock bus depot. We navigated that resort like pros and within minutes were on the shuttle bus headed back to the Royal P. Once we arrived, we hopped off the bus and walked smack dab into a fancy schmancy dinner affair.

Oh snap.

I felt slightly underdressed. To say the least.

The walkway from the bus depot to the pool area takes you by an area that they apparently use for fancy catered events. And it just so happens that on this particular evening, there was a little shindig going on. There were tables draped in fine white linens with fresh flowers in vases and candles flickering brightly inside hurricane vases scattered amongst the tables. There were servers dressed in black and white circulating and carrying plates of caviar and pate. Not that I would know what it looks like. They just looked to be the kind of people who would be serving that stuff. That and Fuji water. The guests, and there were plenty of them, were all wearing cocktail dresses and suits that even PDiddy would be jealous of. Drinking wine from their wine glasses and holding their pinky fingers up while politely guffawing at each other’s lame jokes and talking stocks, bonds and real estate investments.

Cut to the LaLa Three.

We’ve got the pool hair goin’ on with a few spikes sticking up here and there for good measure. We're oblivious to them as they blow in the breeze. Waving hello to anyone and everyone we see. A steady stream of water is dripping over our eyebrows and off our noses. Our eyes are blood red and 2/3 of us are sporting the type of red marks across our faces that come from wearing a pair of goggles tight enough to cut off all circulation to the brain. The dull scraping sound of a 25 pound beach bag being drug along the concrete follows us with each step that we take. We’re cuttin’ a path through the middle of all this Fuji water drinking nonsense wearing soaking wet Tshirts stuck to our bodies. With the outline of our brightly colored bathing suits showing through. Our flip flops are squeaking and leaving a swath of water in their wake. The boy’s complaining that he’s so hungry he could eat a hippopotamus and the girl’s whining and begging me to pick her up and carry her the rest of the way because her legs “are broke and won’t work anymore”.

So I shuffle the 3 foot wide beach bag I’m dragging over my shoulder and pick her up. Then I walk straight up to one of the servers, grab a lil sumpm sumpm off his tray, wave hello to him with my hair and cooly venture, “Pardon me. Would you have any Grey Poupon?”

Just for kicks.

When we finally made it around to Bula, DH had already ordered our drinks for us. The man knows what we like. I can’t tell you how much we enjoyed that meal. I don’t know if it was just the fact that we were actually sitting down that did it or if it was the laid back atmosphere that we were digging. But it was a nice little come as you are, no ADR required, relaxing meal by the pool. The sun was just setting and it was beautiful out that evening. It wasn’t so much the sky though as it was the view around me. Specifically, the people sitting at the table with me. I love my family dearly and I don’t think I’ve ever seen them looking more beautiful than they did that night. Pool hair, wet clothes, tired eyes, laundry weary hands and all. We sat back and talked and joked with each other. It was just an all around enjoyable evening.

Especially when you factor in the fried yucca.

I ordered the Huli Huli chicken sandwich and it was served with “fried yucca” on the side. Honestly, I didn’t have high hopes for it but as it turns out, I loved it. It tasted like a cross between a steak fry and a dill pickle. Which sounds like a weird combo. But it worked. It was no Dole Whip, but Mama like.

And no, Mama ain’t pregnant.

Not that I know of, anyway.

Once we finished our meal, it was dark and the resort looked beautiful all lit up for the evening.

We wandered over to the pool and let the kids go swimming again. Because it was vacation and because they could. As they swam around and checked out the glowing lights underwater, DH and I laid on the lounge chairs and discussed, among other things, what we might do the next day.

The last full day of vacation is surpassed in importance only by the arrival day. Well, maybe it’s a toss up. But the last full day is very important and you definitely want to end with a bang. And we had a decision to make. We still had a day or two left on our Universal passes and we didn’t want to waste them but we also had another one day pass for Disney and we DEFINITELY didn’t want to waste that. So we were pretty sure our last full day would be spent in a Disney park.

But the question was: which park?

For some reason, I was under the impression that the tickets we’d been gifted were good only for readmission to the Magic Kingdom. I’m not sure why I assumed that, but I did. DH, however, was convinced that we could use them in any of the Disney parks and managed to convince me to call Ticket Services again to inquire as to which one of us was right.

It's me, baby. Even when it's you, it's me.

So I called the number I’d been given previously and filled them in on the goings on with the tickets. Then I ventured “My husband is trying to convince me that the tickets are good for any of the parks instead of just Magic Kingdom. Are they good for any park?”

And then I held my breath. And prayed a little prayer.

She put me on hold for a minute or two, then came back on the line and said “Yes maam, they’re good for any park. You don’t have to use them at the Magic Kingdom, you can use them at any of Disney’s four theme parks.

HALELUJAH THANK YOU JESUS!

I was SO excited.

With full blown giddiness welling up in my belly, I verified with her one more time the fact that we would be able to use our P&PP tickets for admittance to any of the four parks the next day. She assured me all we had to do was use the tickets at the turnstiles and they would work just like a regular Key to the World/admission ticket.

Remember that part.

I thanked her profusely and when I hung up, I did the Joe Horn dance, the Macarena, the Running Man, the Sprinkler, the Chicken Noodle Soup AND the Elaine kick shuffle dance all at the same time.

The reason I was so happy was because it was understood where we would be going the next day. There was no need to speak it. Both my husband and I were in agreement without ever even forming the word.

That one little sweet word that stood for everything we love about Disney.

Epicot.

Ahhhh yeah baby!

Up Next: The LaLas Get Publicly Humiliated. Again.

 

[Goofyluver]

I love your dancing abilities. I once broke out the "elaine" in the middle of Chili's and someone wanted to know if I was having a seizure. Ah well.

 

[Alice28]

Another great installment!

My son is 10 (and a HALF!) and I could really relate to your thoughts on your own son getting older. It's strange to be so sad and yet so proud of your child at the same time, isn't it?

LOL on the Elaine dancing-