As the monorail rounded Seven Seas Lagoon and came to a stop at the Magic Kingdom, we got our giddy selves up off the blue bench seat and stepped out onto the platform, eager to experience Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party.
And were immediately caught in human gridlock.
Well. Crap.
So much for the hope of a night with low crowds.
This was the third year in a row that we were attending the Halloween party at the MK. One of the things that has kept us going back year after the year (besides the absolutely
insane fireworks show and that catchy little tune that relentlessly bores its way into your brain) is the lure of a park with low(er) crowds. It’s not supposed to be as crowded on
MNSSHP nights as it is on a normal park day. Or so we hear. Read. Whatever.
There are only a certain amount of tickets that are sold and anyone who doesn’t have a ticket isn’t allowed in the gate. At least that’s the way it’s
supposed to work. The characters are all dolled up and out in full force every year. And for the vast majority of partygoers, that’s a huge draw.
For us, not so much.
It’s more elementary than that for the LaLas. We’re there for the rides. Well, the fireworks too. Have I mentioned how cool they are? And you can’t forget the parade. Cause it’s awesome. Plus the kids really enjoy dressing up. Well, when they’re not wearing makeup and hats with fake black hair attached to it.
But all that aside, MNSSHP is more about the rides than anything else for us. In the previous two years, we had never experienced a time that it took longer than a couple of minutes to board any attraction. No lie. The rides are
complete walk ons. All night long. Mainly because most everyone else is busy drooling over Mickey dressed in a jester suit and Goofy dressed as something (someone?) bearing a strong resemblance to one of the Village People. Or else they’re gettin’ their groove on at the dance party in Fantasyland. And lining up for miles for a handful of little Nestle Crunch bars.
Don’t get me wrong. We do a little of that too. But our basic rule of thumb is that if our kids can’t make it to the front of the line to see Cinderella and her coach by the time they turn forty and we start associating with the Dentures and Depends clique, it’s just not worth it. We’ll take a long shot of the coach and and occupy ourselves with other things. Like the rides. It’s a virtual laugh scream marathon for us on that night.
And since we didn’t get to ride as many things as we’d wanted to on our only other day in the Magic Kingdom earlier in the week, we had really been looking forward it.
But as we stepped out onto the monorail platform and realized that the place was absolutely swarming with people, we caught our breath and prepared for the worst. We remembered how last year it had seemed so much more crowded walking down Main Street than it did the year before. I was reminded of how frustrated my husband had been with the crowds. Not to mention the fact that we had paid extra only to find ourselves dealing with a much larger crowd than we had experienced on any of our park days that week. As we walked down the ramp, we hoped this year wouldn’t be quite as bad.
After a few minutes, we finally make it through the sea of people and in through the gates of the Magic Kingdom.
We get our wristbands and the CMs hand the kids their little orange trick or treat bags while DH heads off to gets his hands around our “free” stroller. I don’t know why we’re so appreciative of that “free” double stroller rental for the night. It’s not like we’re not paying for it. Somewhere. I feel pretty sure they’ve got the cost of that puppy figured into the hard ticket event prices. But let Disney call it free and we’re on it like white on rice. We actually think we’re getting something over on the man.
Or you know, the mouse.
Whatever.
We meet back up, throw the kids in the “free” ride (we’re actually up to code on this one so I will not be referring to it as the Redneck Ride for the rest of the installment) and we walk out of the tunnel, hang a left around the curve and make our way up Main Street.
Yep. Sea of humanity.
I don’t know what was different this year. But something was. Main Street was just as crowded as it was the year before. Maybe even more so. But I guess the realization had time to sink in from the moment we stepped off the monorail to the time we made our walk up Main Street. Yes, the place was crowded. Scary crowded, even. Which is ironic, if you think about it. But if the video can be believed, we were all still pretty giddy. Regardless of the crowds.
Go figure.
We look around us at the buildings illuminated in orange, green and purple lights and notice our usual beloved Main Street BGM has been replaced with that catchy little Boo To You song. We check out the costumed crowd around us. To be fair, most of the people in costumes were kids. I think every single Disney character was represented that night. One hundred fold. But there were also some adults dressed up as well.
The boy had loosened up tremendously since we’d arrived on the scene and he realized he was no longer the only person (again, besides the little sister who doesn’t count) dressed up. And don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I had totally called it back at Chef Mickey’s There were pirates galore at the MK that night. I guess the whole pirate thing was in at the time. Not too long after we got to the MK, we crossed paths with a rather burly, masculine pirate. And yes, he was wearing eyeliner. Lots and lots of eyeliner.
I pointed him out to the boy and said “See honey? You’re not the only one who looks a little funny tonight.” The pirate saw me and smiled, and then immediately growled. He walked with a swagger. Looking back, I think the swagger was probably because of the boots he was sporting at the time. I’m sure it was hard to walk in those things. I screamed "Why would you wear boots in Disneyworld?!" at him with my eyes. Except that I didn't. Because he looked like a mixture of Gene Simmons, Dogg the Bounty Hunter and Andre the Giant all rolled into one with just a touch of Paris Hilton thrown in for good measure. We all watched him for a while. Amazed. He really had the pirate vibe going on and we could almost smell the booze rolling off him. Plus I think he had a raging case of bedbugs goin' on. The jury's still out on that one. I gotta admit I was a little afraid of the manly pirate. I was afraid he might reach out and grab me, throw me over his shoulder, and take off running.
Or at least challenge me to a sword fight. Or something similar.
Okay, not really. I didn’t really think that. Not at all.
Because instead of throwing me over his shoulder, he grabbed his little girl, threw her up in the air and onto his ample, linebacker shoulders. And he joked around with her. Talking pirate talk. And making her laugh uncontrollably. You could really tell how much he loved his child. He even called her "Love". I think. Either that or "Loathe". One or the other. Gimme a break. He had an accent and it was hard to understand. I'm guessing it was option number one though because he was really sweet with her and it was right then and there that I figured the pirate was good people. A little freaky. With a really strange accent and horrible taste in clothes.
But good people nonetheless.
Or not.
Who knows.
But we'll call him good people because after seeing that pirate, the boy realized that there were others at the party who actually looked more ridiculous in their costumes than he did.
So at least there was that.
We bid the manly pirate in makeup farewell and continued down Main Street. We had no choice. We were being pushed along with the crowd. I’m not sure but I think I may have been accidentally groped. Once or twice. At some point. I felt like I was on Bourbon Street. Except it was much cleaner, the aroma of three day old vomit wasn’t wafting through the air, and there were less drunks.
And you're welcome for that visual.
We stood for a minute or two in front of the castle, took some pictures, and then decided to hang a left and get our ride on.
Thunder Mountain was calling our name.
Yeah baby!
The kids were chanting “Thunder Mountain” as we parked our Non Redneck Ride and ran/walked through the empty queue. Did I mention there were no lines? In spite of the large crowds, there were still no lines for the rides to speak of.
Now that's what I'm talking about.
We hopped into our runaway mine car and smiled hugely as we heard the old geezer’s familiar announcement.
Hang onto your hats and glasses, folks, cause this here’s the wildest ride in the wilderness!
With that, we shot out of the station like a bullet (okay: a really old and decrepit bullet) and headed up the first little hill as the chains clicked loudly underneath the cars. The girl squealed as we took off down and around our first curve. It’s amazing how different Thunder Mountain seems at night. The view of Cinderella’s castle glowing in full blown Technicolor as you climb up the big hill is amazing and worth a hop on the ride after sunset just in and of itself. But the ride also seems much faster, much longer, and much more exciting in the dark.
We throw our hands up in the air. And wave ‘em around like we just don’t care. And we laugh the whole way. When the car finally pulls back into the station, we hop out and get right back in line again.
Twice.
For good measure.
That’s right.
We rode Thunder Mountain three times in a row that night. Uno, dos, tres. Back to back. In the dark. With absolutely no waiting. The kids thought it was amazing. And so did we, honestly. It should come as no surprise to you that our threepeat on Thunder Mountain would turn out to be one of the highlights of our night.
After our third go round, we told the kids we needed to move onto another ride. Just to switch things up. It was at that point that DH suggested Splash Mountain. Again. The boy stood toe to toe with his dad and told him “I’ll see your Splash Mountain and I’ll raise you one. Let’s do Haunted Mansion when we’re done here.”
Or something like that.
What he basically told him was yes, he would like to ride.
The boys head onto Splash while we head over to the bridge, my girl and me. While we waited for the guys, we had a very lengthy discussion that covered the following topics: suckers, Baby Alive, suckers getting stuck in your hair, Minnie, Baby Alive’s green poo poo diapers, the Pythagoreum Theorem, candy, Soarin, Happy Meal toys, yucky nuts in chocolate chip cookies, cartwheels, gum, rainbows, and the completely whacked out direction the producers of Lost are headed with the show.
Okay, so maybe there was one topic on that list that we didn’t actually cover. But I’m not telling you which one.
Meanwhile, two hours later and halfway through our scintillating discussion of watermelon flavored Ring Pops, the guys finally decide to show up. Both the girl and I want answers.
Me: Where the heck have yall been?!
The girl :Yeah! We’ve been here for hour!
Not a typo. And I blame the public school system.
Or do I?
Okay, so maybe it didn’t take them a full hour. Or even hours. But they were gone alot longer than I thought they should be. Honestly, I was starting to get a little worried that we’d missed them. Anytime we split up in Disneyworld, I always worry about that a little bit. Because the place is like a human ant farm. With Mickey bars. And rides. Okay, so it’s nothing like a human ant farm. If there even
is such a thing.
Let’s just say it’s crowded and leave it at that.
Apparently the ride stalled after they splashed down and the boys had to sit in the logs and gently bob around for awhile before things got moving again. Maybe it's just us, but it seems like that happens a lot on Splash. For some reason. Oh yeah. It's old.
But they’d had a good time. And we were all itching to move onto the next ride. The boy joins his sister in the Totally Legit Ride and we make the short trek through Frontierland and into Liberty Square. Our next stop is a lil sumpm sumpm called the Haunted Mansion.
We park our TLRide and immediately notice something different about the place. Sitting in a rocking chair in front of the mansion is a CM dressed in typical Haunted Mansion garb. She’s heckling the guests as they make their way through the queue. She’s really funny and she gives the guys in line a pretty hard time. But don't misundertand. She ain’t no hollaback girl.
She made that abundantly clear by singing the song. Over and over again.
Of all the rides at the Magic Kingdom, this one was the most crowded that night. Go figure. We work our way through the line and talk about good ole Fred. Who had a rock fall on his head.
You know, if I told you I was able to walk through that queue without thinking of a certain imaginary friend, I’d be lying. In fact, I don’t think there will ever be a time that I don’t think of her if only for a minute or two at the mere mention of It’s a Small World again.
Just making sure you’re paying attention.
And yes, I thought of Frickles. Or was it Nicolemarie?
Actually, it was Mel Happyhaunt. I thought of my girl Mel. On that night. And I thought about her dad. And how much she obviously cherished the time spent with him there. In that place. Then I took a good, long look at my husband and my daughter as he held her tight in his arms and planted kisses on her cheek. Pointed out the stretching room. And put a silly spin on it. For her. And made her laugh.
Then I smiled.
As she grows up, the Haunted Mansion may not necessarily be their ride. Because to be honest, she’s more of a Minnie type of girl than she is a macabre type of girl. But I don’t think it matters which ride it is, honestly. It’s the memories of the family togetherness and the love that we cling to. That we all cling to, in some form or another. Whether it’s the Haunted Mansion or Soarin Lorenson or Thunder Mountain, it matters not.
Because I think it’s not so much the ride itself as it is the people that we share the ride with.
Literally. And figuratively.
Although if we're talking El Rio del Tiempo, it's definitely about the ride.
Or is it?
We jumped in our cars and made our way through the scenes, the girl with her dad and the boy with me. Halfway through the ride, I got an itch. No, not that kind of itch. I saw something that I had to take a picture of. For Mel. Cause I darn sure wasn't taking it for me.
Talk about creepy dee! Do you think you could pick something a little freakier to like?
After our ride on the HM, we hopped out and headed back out front to regroup. The second parade and Hallowishes would be coming up shortly. So we threw it into high gear, waved goodbye to the Happyhaunts, and headed off toward Fantasyland to make a few more memories.
Up Next: DH's Dole Whip.