Overdue and Overpacked II: The LaLas Take on the World: EPILOGUE ON PAGE 58

[awesomepinktink]

I am so enjoying this trip report! More please!

 

[jamal]

No matter where the destination, every road trip with us always has two constants.

We always say a family prayer at the beginning once everyone is situated and barring any physical injury, my husband always drives.

Girl, are we the same family??????? We do the same thing too, but we don't even let ourselves put it in gear before we hold hands and pray. It settles us and gives me a minute to rest my throat from screaming at everyone to get in the car.

Shrek ALWAYS drives. This is best as I am ALWAYS asleep 45 miles into the trip. He spends the rest of the drive laughing at me as he and the boys mess with me: kleenex over my nose, talking to me, tickling me, and singing over my snores.

I love the roadtrip stories. When you tell us how you picked up the kids, continue with GPS tales, and lead us into the pre-Disney hotel, our anticipation is building right along with yours.
Keep it comin, LaLaLaLaLa!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Bee]

Just finished the other report... AWESOME

We were there in Oct 05 also then we Cruised the Wonder.. you can read my report under Wilma, forgotten suitcases in the trip report section.

I am so glad you have started another trip report!!

 

[Grammyof2]

LaLa - NEVER, REPEAT AFTER ME, buy the GPS.

We traveled with someone this summer to visit our northern neighbors, you know, the ones in Canada. And they had the GPS. What a pain in the eardrum. REALLY. When you got off the "route" to pee the dang thing wouldn't shut up. Readjust, readjust. I wanted to throw that thing in the Niagara and be done with it. and cause they spent big bucks for it, they wanted to hear it. I called it a French maid, well something like that. I am with you. Just use the redneck version. At least we KNOW when to shut up

 

[LaLa]

This is just full on funny. Funnier even than your claim to Olympic Gold. Loser. Liar. Junior senator from Massachusetts

Don't you have some pictures to download and then crop the heck out of or a trip report to write? Some new terms to invent? Another family pet to introduce? Why must you continue to call me names, give me grief, and front like you won gold?

BUT that entire post made me laugh hard. Especially the John Kerry thing.

The shock and awe of losing to that crappy cow college from Starkville is still fresh in my mind

That was just in case it was starting to become stale in your mind.

Sorry SamC. Sorry Mel. Yall seem like nice Bama people. Ignore the above. And Woll Tide!

LaLa I'm so happy you're back with another trip report. Your first one was the first trippie I ever read. I've just copied and pasted all of your entries into a Word document and I'm going to read them in a minute. I know I'll enjoy them. My internet usage is very limited, but I just had to come by and tell you "I'm happy you're back with another trippie!"

Nice to see ya around again, Sneezie. And thanks for reading.

OK, OK I confess, I'm with your husband on this one. I have to know exactly where we are and what time I will get somewhere. I HIGHLY recommend the GPS for Christmas. The real kind. Ours tells you what time you will reach your destination and will change occasionally according to your speed. Yes, I have OCD tendencies and if you're on the Dis, I bet you do too

Does it mean I have OCD tendencies if I changed my ADRs no less than 25 times and printed out color coded iteneraries with not only park plans but back up park plans for each day? You might be onto something there with that whole OCD thing. I'm scared.

Shrek ALWAYS drives. This is best as I am ALWAYS asleep 45 miles into the trip. He spends the rest of the drive laughing at me as he and the boys mess with me: kleenex over my nose, talking to me, tickling me, and singing over my snores.

Jami, yall must be high falutin' and have one of them there real GPS contraptions. Lucky! But I'm glad you made your way here. It's good to see ya Mama!

I am with you. Just use the redneck version. At least we KNOW when to shut up

My husband might disagree with you on that but I'll keep it in mind. The French maid thing killed me though, Grammy.

Pumba: Welcome and thanks for posting.

Mouseketeer Mom aka the other redneck GPS mom, awesomepinktink and Bee: Thanks for your comments and reading along. I'm working on the next one and am thinking it'll probably go up tomorrow.

Thanks everybody! Yall rock.

 

[luv2crash]

But it’s a mighty big world out there.

That's what my dh told us when we were planning our next vacation and our dd told him "but Daddy, the only world I care about is Disney World".

SUCKER!!! We are getting 14 days at Disney for that one!!!

I'm lovin' your report!

 

[LaLa]

That's what my dh told us when we were planning our next vacation and our dd told him "but Daddy, the only world I care about is Disney World".

SUCKER!!! We are getting 14 days at Disney for that one!!!

I'm lovin' your report!

Fourteen days?!

I'm gonna have to write that down.

Congrats!

 

[LaLa]

Once we determined the girl had suffered no long term damage as a result of the celebratory chest bumpage, we got everybody wound down, got baths, and got ready to hit the sack. It had been a long day and we were more tired than a one legged man in a butt kickin’ contest.

Did you know that La Quinta is Spanish for free high speed internet access?

No? Now you do.

Apparently it’s also Spanish for curved shower rods, big bathrooms, and paper thin walls with toilets that would wake the dead.

Trust me, the reason I know this is not because I paid attention in my Spanish class at the much maligned but still cool as all get out “cow college” in Starkville. The reason I know this is because I heard plenty of flushing that night. Plenty of flushing. As in all night long.

Apparently we were surrounded by Big Al fans with digestive issues.

Big surprise.

I was bone tired and ready to snooze but those infernal toilet flushes kept me awake. Not only were they keeping me awake, but even worse, they were frustrating and just all around scaring the mess out of our daughter.

All night, each time she'd hear the toilet flushing sound, the girl would involuntarily jump and whisper in the sweetest, tiniest little voice, "Whassat seeyound?"

God love her.

Each time she asked, I'd answer her with, "It's just a potty flushing in another room, baby. It's okay. Go back to sleep."

But my words went in one ear and out the other. They meant exactly jack squat to her because she kept asking the same question. Over and over. I'd explain, we'd hear the flush, and she'd immediately ask again.

It was a neverending cycle.

The flush and then the girl’s words pierced the quiet darkness over and over again.

SWOOSH………………………………….Whassat seeyound?
SWOOSH…………………..…………….Whassat seeyound?
SWOOSH………………………………….Whassat seeyound?
SWOOSH………………………………….Whassat seeyound?


It was enough to make me want to poke things in my ears.

My husband and I are not Lucy and Ricky. We’re LaLa and DH. We don’t normally sleep in separate beds but desperate times call for desperate measures. In other words, splitting up was the only hope we had of getting the girl to go to sleep that night. So as I lay there in the dark with my daughter desperately trying to burrow a hole in the bed underneath my back, I hear it and immediately realize there’s yet another sound that I must now try to block out if I expect to get any sleep.

DH was sawing some major logs in the bed next to us.

Figures.

My husband could sleep through a couple of bricks being dropped on his head (not that I’d ever do that) but I’m wide awake at the slightest shift in covers coming from our kid's rooms across the hall.

Men.

Who made the rule that they get to sleep through the night with no worries and are never the chosen target of the random middle of the night corn laden projectile vomitage?

If I had to guess, I’d say it was the Suitcase Man.

Anyway, if we were at home, it would be no problem because I could just (gently) tap him on the shoulder and tell him to roll over on his side. He would do it, and for a minute or two, it would stop. The Rollover Lull is usually enough time to allow me to fall back to sleep so we're good. We've been doing this for eleven years now and we've got it down to a science. But that night was a whole new ballgame. I couldn't reach him without getting up and disturbing Little Miss Magic who was finally falling asleep and he definitely couldn't hear me whisper his name over the Plumbing Concerto in P Major we had going on around us.

So I take the only option left on the table. I beam the extra pillow across the room at his head. Partly because misery loves company and partly because that snoring of his was about to wake up our neighbors.

Back home.

He didn't budge.

I gave up after only one shot because I figured I'd need the other pillow.

So I laid there and tried to entertain myself.

I closed my eyes and waited for an image to appear on the inside of my eyelids. I was equal parts relieved and disappointed that the only thing I could make out was... the inside of my eyelids. I wondered who the heck Che Guevera was. And why on earth his face would be appearing on Mel's eyelids. I wondered if Mel was certifiably insane or a comic genius. I determined she was just really funny and only slightly off her rocker. I wondered whether I would remember to get that Elusive Dole Whip this trip. And if I should try just the straight up Dole Whip or the Dole Whip float. I determined the float was the way to go because I really like pineapple juice.

Then my mind shifted to the Dateline special on bedbugs and I instinctively scooted down in the bed a little bit because I forgot to rip the headboard from the wall to check for signs of bedbugs earlier that night. I meant to do it, I just never got around to it. Then I started thinking about bedbugs, which made me itch all over.

Kinda like you are right now.

If you’re not, give it a second for the thought process to kick in. You’ll be scratching in no time flat. And you're welcome.

Long story short: I finally scratched myself to sleep and woke up totally and completely exhausted the next morning.

I got up, walked straight into the bathroom and flushed the toilet.

Twice. For good measure.

Any other day at home, I’d have to drag the kids out of bed in the morning kicking and screaming. But today was vastly different. They weren’t going to school today. They were going to see the Mouse. So everybody jumps up and gets dressed faster than Britney and KFed can go forth and multiply.

We’re all totally psyched. We get ready and cram our stuff back in the suitcase at the speed of sound.

We find out that La Quinta is also, amazingly, Spanish for free continental breakfast so we decide to head down and check it out. What does that mean anyway? Continental breakfast. I know it’s cereal and bagels and all but I’ve always wondered what exactly makes it "continental".

Cause you and I both know it can't be the danishes.

The meal was pretty crappy but it was free. So that was something.

As we made our way out of the hotel that morning, we noticed something we didn’t expect. Turns out, it was pretty chilly.

Lemme take that back. It was very chilly. As in, we were freezing our butts off in our shorts and short sleeves. But we’re from the South where 50 degrees is cold. So take that with a grain of salt. And that'd be Fahrenheit for our friends to the North. Not Celsius. Just so there's not any confusing culture clash going on. Anyway, we were pretty surprised. It wasn't supposed to be chilly on Typhoon Lagoon Day, dangit. We determined that unless it warmed up significantly, we wouldn't be riding any six foot waves that day and instead would have to fall back to Plan B.

And although I've been told I've got an impressive memory, I don't remember what Plan B was so don't ask.

Before we ever stepped foot out of the hotel that morning, our daughter informed us that she was ready to “go on a bus stop”. The Girl was primed for some Mouse.

And we ain’t about to let her down.

So we hop in the van, pull out the quilts and electric blankets that I had the foresight to pack, and take off like a shot.

There’s just something about driving into Disney.

We love the scenery the last half hour or so of the trip. We play nonstop Disney music and really crank it up starting somewhere around the time we see the Howie in the Hills sign. Don’t ask me what Howie in the Hills actually is. I'm pretty sure it's a community but I've never Googled it. But one thing I do know is that once I see that sign and the rolling hills full of houses that look like they belong in Edward Scissorhands, I know Disney’s not far away.

And then there's this sign...

That’s right. It’s the first official Disneyworld road sign. Spottin’ that bad boy is always a cause for celebration and seat dancing in the LaLa van.

Because it’s worth 10,000 points.

Yep, that's right.

On the way down, we play a little game with the kids and give out varying amounts of points for spotting Disney signs. It's the Disney Road Trip Sign Game and it could very well be an Olympic event in its own right.

The rules are simple.

You spot it, you call it. And you have to point with your whole arm, wiggle your finger around and yell "Oooh Oooh Oooh!" when you claim a sign. That's how DH does it anyway. Or does he? Anyway, official Disney signs are always worth more. We like to keep it real that way. This includes road signs and any actual WDW signs. Those are like the jackpot of the Disney Road Trip Sign Game. Imposter Disney signs still count but they don’t normally bring in any more than about two to three figures. They're the washed up Vegas impersonators of the game. If you think you see a sign, call it, and it turns out to be Shamu upon closer inspection, you get points deducted. And made fun of.

It’s just a lil sumpm sumpm we do to pass the time on road trips and get the kids riled up.

So to recap: we have the family prayer, the husband always drives and we play silly games and talk some major smack with our kids. That’s your basic road trip for us.

Oh, and someone usually pukes in the back seat.

At least once.

But mostly it’s more like thrice.

Again, not sayin’ who.

But use your imagination.

Back on track.

My husband has got to be the most observant person I know. And because of that, he spanks our tails in the Disney Road Trip Sign Game every single time. Every time. Even while he’s driving. We have no chance of beating him. He’s like a freakin’ cyborg, constantly scanning the horizon. It kills me and he knows it. So he always really plays it up for me and the kids.

The boy keeps score and by then end of the round, I had 15,000 and DH had something like 860,000.

The boy and the girl had 1500 and -500 respectively and were seriously ticked off about it.

We let the boy keep score because he’s normally very generous with the point system. Plus he’s old enough to be able to add but still young enough to be able to trick. And that’s the way we like it.

Or is it?

Anyway, we barrel down the road laughing and cutting up and before you know it, we see this baby...

And this one...

DH spotted them both a mile back and racked up another 50,000 points.

We roll onto Disney property and instantly become giddy as we scan the purple signs for our resort name. We see the arches ahead of us.

Ahhh yeah. Mama like.

But wait a minute.

We’re not going under them. We’re going off the other way.

What the heck's going on? I ask my husband where he thinks he’s taking us because I’m positive his freaky cyborg scanner is overworked from the drive in.

The arches are the other way, man. Where are we goin?

He casually adjusts his sunglasses. Without speaking, he raises his arm and points to our sign. Then he turns to me and asks “Are you Sarah Connor?”.

Kidding.

But he was right about the sign. I should've known not to doubt the navigator. AKL traffic gets routed off to the right before the arches. We don’t get to pass underneath them this time.

Dangit.

As we make our way to the resort, the kids realize where we are and the Disney Dementia immediately sets in.

Their voices instinctively raise three octaves and their speech patterns shift into hyperdrive. They are now talking at twice the speed of sound and doing their best impression of a couple of Mexican jumping beans. They constantly scan left to right, take in all the sights, and literally lose their ever loving minds.

And then all of a sudden, there it is.

It’s the first Disney bus sighting of the trip.

If hard hotel room carpeting signifies vacation to our son, a Disney bus signifies arrival at Disneyworld to our daughter. It means she’s finally here. She’s here and there’s a World of fun just waiting to be had.

She spots it, points, and from the back of the van she yells at the top of her little lungs, “Smack me three times, we’re in Disneyworld!”

Smack me three times.

I have no idea where she came up with that, but it’s an instant classic.

I crank up the Circle of Life on the CD player as we ride around, grinning like a bunch of idiots, butchering the background part of the song that nobody knows the actual words to, and searching for our resort.

We make a few turns and know we’re getting close as the landscaping suddenly makes a drastic change.

As we make our way into the really amazingly dry looking tall grass (seriously, that stuff looks like it’s gonna catch on fire), the song crescendos into the chorus and then suddenly there it is.

Our home for the next seven days.

Smack me three times.

We’re at Animal Kingdom Lodge.



Up Next: What's that smell?!



Click here for Chapter 5

 

[Frickles]

I could quote the whole thing, but I will not.

It was such a great installment LaLa!! LOVED IT!!!

So great that I am going to cook you a ham.

 

[nicolemarie]

But he was right about the sign. I should've known not to doubt the navigator. AKL traffic gets routed off to the right before the arches. We don’t get to pass underneath them this time.

NO!!!!!!

And I bought a new camera for the trip. This just stinks.

Girl, I have an appointment at 11:00 and here I am reading your TR. It's awesome. As always.

And I have several things I want to comment on, but I don't have time.

So I'll edit later...

NM

 

[ukwildcat]

Very nicely done thus far, Lala. I like your reference to Plan B. In our family (meaning DW, DS, and me) we have never once done a Plan A. We've had Plan A in place, but never actually accomplished it at WDW.

Now, on the other hand, we are master's at Plan B's. We've never actually planned a Plan B, but we do them anyway. Our Plan B's are whatever is different from Plan A.

Confused yet? Me too.

So, on to the next installment. Soon I hope.

 

[Chapter 11]

Who made the rule that they get to sleep through the night with no worries and are never the chosen target of the random middle of the night corn laden projectile vomitage?

Ah, and the first of what I am sure will be many vomit/puke/yak (NOYAK) references makes its appearance.

Oh, and someone usually pukes in the back seat.

At least once.

But mostly it’s more like thrice.

I was right -- that would be Number 2. I think I shall keep a running tally.

He casually adjusts his sunglasses. Without speaking, he raises his arm and points to our sign. Then he turns to me and asks “Are you Sarah Connor?”.

And what would a TR be without a Terminator reference? Disney and Arnold -- they go together like, well, heck, they don't really go together at all, do they?

Up Next: What's that smell?!

Shoot, I sense No. 3 coming up ....

 

[AUDramaQueen]

Yay, I'll have something to read in car pool today.

I did notice The Terminator reference while pasting your report in Word. So in keeping with that...

I'll be back! Be sure to say it with your best (or worst) Austrian accent.

 

[First timer]

I am loving your report! It is so funny - I will probably be fired because I am sitting at my desk at work looking oh so serious and turning red at the same time trying to hold back my laughter!!

But I can't view any of the pics!

 

[lexmelinda]

Who made the rule that they get to sleep through the night with no worries and are never the chosen target of the random middle of the night corn laden projectile vomitage?

Heh....I knew there would be some ZZUBin here....corn laden, no less. I even read it while eating pancakes....although I don't recommend it. Fabulous installment, LaLa!!!

 

[samc]

excellent installment.......I could quote the whole thing...it was that good!!.....can't wait for the next one

 

[ZZUB]

Plumbing Concerto in P Major

Your obsession with the bathroom is endearing. Also, this is a clever turn of phrase.

I'm glad you've introduced the puke and vomit referneces. Here we are on Chapter 4, already. I was beginning to question whether you really wrote this or whether it was being ghost written.

Still, I think a more correct title would be Bring on da Puke, Bring on da Poop.

Please clear this up for me: does LaQuinta really have curved shower bars? B/c if they do, I'm less impressed with the Lodge.

Not really.

Also: NM don't despair re: driving under the arches. You don't have to follow Disney's road signs. Irrational people may bicker about this, but you certainly are free to drive under the arch and then double back to the AKL.

 

[ahutton]

You don't actually have to double back though. I think if you get off the exit for Swan/Dolphin and turn left instead of right from the main entrance then you'll be heading down towards AKL. I think. But I lost my redneck GPS privledges on the summer trip. I should write the trip report but I don't have the talent to run with the big dogs like y'all.

I'm loving this report! You write as good as Janet Evanovich. I mean that as a compliment. I really like her books. I've read them all. Really.

 

[NAB]

Okay you get points for the signs but did you punch buggy too because there is a volkswagon bug under those arches....That's what my kids would have done. But we are not allowed to hit hard just a tap or touch.

Loving your report...

--

 

[lexmelinda]

You don't actually have to double back though. I think if you get off the exit for Swan/Dolphin and turn left instead of right from the main entrance then you'll be heading down towards AKL.

RE: directions....we came to Disney via 1-75 and the turnpike and took the brand spankin new SR 429 (to Tampa) off the turnpike and it was only 14 miles to Disney. Off on the deserted exit, it was only a few hundred yards to the Disney arches and the road came out right on Buena Vista Dr. next to the Coronado Springs on the western side of the property....near AKL.