"Outing Santa" - how? what do you think?

[Halbleib1]

I would let him continue to believe in santa. Just explain to him that Santa may not be able to bring him everything he wants this year because he has a lot of other little kids to give presents to. I told my 5 year old son he could only ask Santa for 5 things this year and that he may not get all of them because Santa has a lot of kids like him to get for.

 

[Imzadi]

If the only reason you would burst DS's bubble is because you can't get the amount of toys that he wants, you can wait till after Christmas, after he's opened his toys.

He'll already get one disappointment. Why make it two? And why ruin his one last Christmas to believe? He's got 28 days left to believe. Give him that. Tell him Dec 26 or in Jan if you need to.

 

[MsLeFever]

Very true!

I'm glad to hear that he isn't the only "older" believer! I'm taking him out shopping today to buy gifts for his "Angel tree" boy. He loves that.

Barbara

 

[disneyfanforever]

I did tell my DS (he is 12 now) when he was in 4th grade out of fear that he would be teased if he still believed. He took it very well, and he seemed like he enjoyed being "in the know". He wasn't devastated as I thought he would be. He has a younger brother and is sworn to secrecy. He likes being able to help pick out the gifts for his brother. I also think he likes the fact that he can campaign harder directly to "Santa" for the gifts he wants.

Now, his brother is 8 and still believes wholeheartedly. He is a gentler soul, and I worry that he will be crushed when he finds out. I think the decision to tell or not really depends on the kid. I am not sure what I would do if my youngest asked me point blank.

Either way, I think your son will be fine. Just do what your heart tells you.

 

[DawnM]

I probably won't be too much help as we haven't ever really *done* the Santa thing. We are realists around here and when questions are asked, we are to the point about answering truthfully, but we do tell our kids not to talk about it with other kids.

Personally, I would wait for the questions and then answer them.

Dawn

 

[Kirby]

Both of our kids are in college now and the attitude we all have is that Santa is real because he is the Spirit of Christmas. Santa doesn't stop by anymore but he is still real to all of us.

Both of my kids stopped believing back in grade school, I can't remember when. I never told them there was no Santa. In fact, I remember once that if they stopped believing in Santa, then there would be nothing from him under the tree. They kept up the charade for a couple more years!

Both of them have asked me if Santa was real. I always responded that he was the Spirit of Christmas.

 

[JohnsPrincess]

I was 10 when I found out for sure. My mom and I were in the car, driving to the mall, and I was asking her about it. So she told me the truth. I Sobbed, my heart was broken, and I still remember that to this day!! I wasn't angry at her, and of course I'm not now, but it was honestly (lol) like someone died for me. I wish I hadn't asked...

My sister is 9 (I'm 30) and she still believes. I think it helps her that I'll NEVER say a word about there not being...and since I'm her sister and "totally cool" , why Shouldn't she believe. Lol

 

[Feralpeg]

I once felt compelled to sit my then-11 year old son down and tell him the truth about Santa Claus (and our truth is the same as yours, regarding St. Nicholas and Christ).

I have regretted it ever since.

It broke my heart to see his sad face when I told him. He's 15 now and each Christmas I feel a tad guilty to think that I purposefully ended the magic, just because I thought he was getting "too old" to believe. He would have learned the truth eventually, why did I have to squash it?

In our case, Santa brings each child one gift. The rest of the presents are from mom and dad.

Maybe you don't need to tell your son that Santa isn't real... maybe you just need to tell him that it's not Santa who fulfills the wish list. That's a good lesson to learn anytime!

Good luck!

This could have been written by me. For a couple of years, DD had been sort of questioning her belief in Santa, but really wanted to still believe. She'd mention it, but she would always give a reason why she knew he was real. Finally, at age 12, some kids gave her a hard time about believing. She came to me and asked me straight out if Santa was real. I couldn't lie to her. The look on her face broke my heart. She got huge tears in her eyes and looked like her entire world had fallen apart. I so wish the magic could have lasted a little longer.

OP, I know others will say that you should tell him. They will say that 11 is too old to believe. Why? Why is it so wrong for kids to hold onto a little magic? Too soon, the realities of life will overtake them. In my opinion, you should wait until he is ready to let go.

 

[luvmyfam444]

I have a dd the same age as you - I wasn't planning on telling her anything - I'll wait until she asks me. Her younger sister did ask though if Santa was real & if reindeer can fly - she wasn't in the room & didn't hear the
conversation.

 

[luvmyfam444]

We have always told DD that we have to send the money to Santa for him to have his Elves make or buy the items. When we have tough years we just tell her that we can't send Santa as much money.

That's a good way of explaining things -

 

[mcco5543]

OP<

go with your gut, If your gut says to let the truth be known then do it. If you are inclined to let your child believe as long as possible then go with it.

All I can really do is share how my mom explained it to me.


When I asked, and I was old enough, she told me that I was now old enough to know about the "real" santa.

She told me about how Santa wasn't really a man in a red velvet suit with a a long white beard on a sleigh with reindeer who delivers toys on Christmas Eve, that was just the representation for little kids because they weren't old enough to understand that Santa is a Spirit. The spirit of giving. And we expereince Santa whenever we give and recieve on Christmas.

Yes I'm 30 years old and believe in Santa Claus...the spirit of giving! I felt very grown up to be allowed in on the secret!


I have also heard of families with older and younger children "letting the older kids in on the secret" by letting them help you be Santa for the younger ones... (staying up a little later on christmas eve to help wrap gifts or put them under the tree, or helping with eating the cookies and milk so the little one(s) knew santa came!

Seems to help the other ones let go of the idea of Santa as a man with a bag of toys and yet lets them keep a piece of magic by making Santa real for someone else.

Personally, since you asked, I wouldn't tell If I wasn't asked. And even then I'd ask what he thought the answer was and let him come to his own conclusions. They're only kids once and only get to believe in Santa the person for a little while.

 

[mcco5543]

P.S

My parents still sign gifts from Santa and still won't admit it's from then. It's FUN to keep the idea going!

I also heard an idea elsewhere on the boards that parents are explaining to kids that since lots of other families don't have as much this year, Santa has to cut down on giving to all the boys and girls so everyone around the world gets presents. ...Just thought I'd throw this one out there. It teaches the spirit of giving and explains why fewer presents are under the tree. Kids are alturistic by nature and I think they'd really go for this.

 

[Halloweenqueen]

This could have been written by me. For a couple of years, DD had been sort of questioning her belief in Santa, but really wanted to still believe. She'd mention it, but she would always give a reason why she knew he was real. Finally, at age 12, some kids gave her a hard time about believing. She came to me and asked me straight out if Santa was real. I couldn't lie to her. The look on her face broke my heart. She got huge tears in her eyes and looked like her entire world had fallen apart. I so wish the magic could have lasted a little longer.

OP, I know others will say that you should tell him. They will say that 11 is too old to believe. Why? Why is it so wrong for kids to hold onto a little magic? Too soon, the realities of life will overtake them. In my opinion, you should wait until he is ready to let go.

This post could have been written by me. Two weeks ago my 12 year old son came home from school and was really upset. He told me the kids on the school bus were making fun of him because he said Santa was real. (he is in 6th grade, but the bus holds 6-12) He said his best friend told him he wasn't real and he wasn't going to be his friend anymore becaue of it. I told him the truth, but tried to frame it in a nice way.

He was devastated. Crushed. I don't know how I could have handled it differently, but I regret it. I don't see the enthusiasm I usually see in him about anything holiday related. When I talk about Santa to our younger ones he looks so hurt. (though he is keeping our secret)

Childhood goes by in a flash. There is nothing wrong in stretching the magic.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i think i was 10-11 when i found out there was no Santa. and no one even told me. i looked on the tag and i noticed "Santa" was spelled "Satna" or something like that and i told my dad "Santa is spelled wrong" and then i saw him trying to spell it the correct way(he doesn't have the best spelling in the world lol but he tries!) and i noticed the handwriting was the exact same and i figured it out on my own.

i was never "disappointed" or anything tho.

 

[DancingBear]

All I can really do is share how my mom explained it to me.


When I asked, and I was old enough, she told me that I was now old enough to know about the "real" santa.

She told me about how Santa wasn't really a man in a red velvet suit with a a long white beard on a sleigh with reindeer who delivers toys on Christmas Eve, that was just the representation for little kids because they weren't old enough to understand that Santa is a Spirit. The spirit of giving. And we expereince Santa whenever we give and recieve on Christmas.

Yes I'm 30 years old and believe in Santa Claus...the spirit of giving! I felt very grown up to be allowed in on the secret!

I love this idea, will definitely be using this. (So, you're being Santa just by posting here!)

 

[mcco5543]

I love this idea, will definitely be using this. (So, you're being Santa just by posting here!)

I woke up this morning and found this post! Thank you so much for making my day!

 

[daisax]

Childhood goes by in a flash. There is nothing wrong in stretching the magic.

Obviously there is, if it opens the child to the ridicule of peers. If a kid is in middle school and still isn't clued in, I don't think you're doing him any favors by trying to extend literal belief in a childhood fantasy, and the kind thing to do is to bring him up to speed before the real world does it for him.

I'm not exactly ancient, but back in the day the Santa secret was out of the bag by 5th grade at the latest, and 4th grade for most kids. You can't be reading "Are you there, God, it's me, Margaret" and still believing in Santa Claus

 

[Halbleib1]

Obviously there is, if it opens the child to the ridicule of peers. If a kid is in middle school and still isn't clued in, I don't think you're doing him any favors by trying to extend literal belief in a childhood fantasy, and the kind thing to do is to bring him up to speed before the real world does it for him.

I'm not exactly ancient, but back in the day the Santa secret was out of the bag by 5th grade at the latest, and 4th grade for most kids. You can't be reading "Are you there, God, it's me, Margaret" and still believing in Santa Claus

So long as my child still believes I would explain to him that not everyone has the same believes as we do and that just because others do not believe or do believe does not make it any less or more real.

Children today grow up way too soon. There is nothing wrong with letting them be kids and believe for as long as they can.

Being ridiculed is something you have to deal with for the rest of your life. Not everyone is going to have the same opinion/believe as you.

Sorry but we never read Are you there God its me Margaret. Don't imagine many public school children do.

When I was in school Santa did not actually come up all that much from my peers. I actually found out by accident. A doll chair that I received from Santa my niece tried to sit in it and I heard my dad say to my mom see I told you we should have gotten her one too. I put two and two together when I remembered that the tag had From Santa on it. I never asked my parents I told them that I knew Santa was not real and why. They never confirmed or denyed it just from then on none of my gifts ever said From Santa again. Christmas never felt the same again. Santa adds that extra touch of Magic to Christmas that is not there anymore.

 

[mcco5543]

Most every little girl I have ever met has read Are you there God it's Me Margaret. And If they didn't I advise all women to pick it up and read it as an adult. It truly explains to the core what it's like to come into adulthood.


That's way off topic though.

My wife and I have agreed that when our children/nieces/nephews ask us if Santa is real we will use the story that I posted early. We also will reaffirm that Different families believe different things just like some of their friends are different religions or some friends families have different traditions, our family believes in the spirit of Christmas which is Santa Claus and that they dont' ahve to defend themselves against anyone. Learning to ignore the ridicule of others is a big life lesson kids need to learn. I understand as a parent wanting to put a stop to it before it starts if at all possible (like knowing kids will get teased about Santa) but For my family teaching our child to tell people that they respect the person's beliefs and they expect their beliefs to be respected as well and to walk away is more important for us then letting go of the magic.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Adding to the off topic-ness. I went to public school and read "Are you there God its me Margaret". Granted it wasn't required reading by the school, but it was in the school library and we all checked it out and read it.