Our Vacation... Spineless DH

[RUDisney]

UGH!!!

Our vacation is scheduled and cleared with our bosses for the third week of July. We go the same week every year, so this was not a surprise to anyone at work.

Well, one of the lenders just left the bank, my DH's boss is scheduled for the same week and one of the other lender's wife was just scheduled for a c-section that week. That would leave one sr lender and 2 jr lenders. DH's boss asks him if he'd change our vacation so their would be 2 sr lenders in-house that week.

My DH says that he'll check with me and we'll probably change to the week before.

Problems with this:

- I have staff out the week before and can't leave.
- I have a major conversion that will take 2 months to complete that starts on August 1st.
- We finally got into the hotel that we've been trying to get for the past 3 years.

It's not like we didn't make it known to anyone early enough.

We'll have to see how this plays out tomorrow. (We both work for the same business.) I told my DH that if we have to change our plans, we're going to the Caribbean. He doesn't want to fly though.

 

[zurgswife]

I'd see if the bank would chip in something for you having to change your vacation at such a late date........You know because there is only the best hotel available that week instead...and you'll be incurring soo much expense..

 

[TIdoublegaER]

I would tell them you have a non-refundable deposit and can't change your dates. I'm sure they will survive the week without you both. So why can't your DH's boss change HIS vacation schedule if it is that important that someone be there?

 

[ToyStory Fan]

Originally posted by zurgswife
I'd see if the bank would chip in something for you having to change your vacation at such a late date........You know because there is only the best hotel available that week instead...and you'll be incurring soo much expense..

This happened to me too (except for all the sr/jr lender stuff ). My company picked up the tab for all the incremental costs and kicked in $500 for a nice dinner or 2 for DW and me and some "fun stuff" for our DS.

Definitely work it to get some bonus stuff if you 'have" to be inconvenienced.

 

[RUDisney]

Originally posted by zurgswife
I'd see if the bank would chip in something for you having to change your vacation at such a late date........You know because there is only the best hotel available that week instead...and you'll be incurring soo much expense..

I like the way you think, and that's exactly what I told him. I'd gladly change plans if he could work something like that out.

I DID ask him why his boss can't change his plans... oh, he probably doesn't want to upset HIS wife and kids. I also asked him why the other lender's wife needs to schedule her c-section that week... and... what if she goes earlier... after we change our plans? One of my employee's had his baby 2 weeks to the day before his wife's section was scheduled, so it CAN happen.

We'll see how it plays out today. I know that my boss will be on my side, but he'll also cave if he thinks he'd be seen as doing something anti-bank.

 

[dcgrumpy]

I also asked him why the other lender's wife needs to schedule her c-section that week

Do you really expect someone to schedule the birth of thier child around your vacation plans? Besides if her hospital is anything like mine, you don't really get a choice of days. They give you whatever slot is available for your doctor 7-10 days before your due date. I had my date picked out and was told "no, you can have it done May 6 at 9:00"

 

[RUDisney]

Originally posted by dcgrumpy
Do you really expect someone to schedule the birth of thier child around your vacation plans?

No, I'm just mad about the whole situation and venting. I understand that the hospital's scheduling is much more important than anything else. Makes no difference when the baby is actually ready.

 

[luvwinnie]

is the guy having the baby taking the WHOLE week off? What day is the c-section?

 

[nativetxn]

I hope you don't have to change your plans, although a trip to the Carribean sounds sort of nifty

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Why wouldn't he take a whole week off? He just had a baby!

As for "when the baby is ready" .... I assume that's just your frustration talking?

 

[luvwinnie]

my friends and co-workers...they tend to take off that day and the next, and then that's it.

 

[gepetto]

Originally posted by luvwinnie
is the guy having the baby taking the WHOLE week off?

How insensitive of him.

 

[jfulcer]

Originally posted by luvwinnie
my friends and co-workers...they tend to take off that day and the next, and then that's it.

Wow, I took two weeks off for each DD's birth. It was nice to be able to spell mommy from crying infants, I got some good baby cuddling and napping time, and I got a lot of the honey do list accomplished.

Good luck! RUDisney! I hope it works out for you either way!

 

[luvwinnie]

she is having the baby, on Wed., for instance...won't he be out just the REST of the week...

 

[RUDisney]

Originally posted by Toby'sFriend
As for "when the baby is ready" .... I assume that's just your frustration talking?

Yup.

Quite frankly, I'm wondering why the didn't ask me 9 months ago if this would interfere with our plans.

So far, I haven't heard from my DH. My boss said that it isn't our problem if my DH's boss doesn't know how to manage his area better.

You wanna know what else irks me about this? I'll tell you. Every day, my DH will check his messages and get back to anyone who needs for him to take care of something for them even though we're on vacation, so it's not like his customer's will suffer.

UGH! Again...

 

[RUDisney]

Originally posted by luvwinnie
she is having the baby, on Wed., for instance...won't he be out just the REST of the week...

That's what I was wondering, too. I was wondering if she's scheduled for Thursday of that week, so it's not like he'll be off all week, just "the rest of the week."

 

[caitycaity]

is it not standard for most father's to take off the first full week (or more?) my company and dh's both give 1 week paid paternity leave, so i guess i just thought that a lot of people did that (not that a lot of companies paid for it, but that a lot of fathers took off the first full week paid or unpaid).

it's a once in a lifetime event. if i was a new daddy, i'd want to be around for as much of it as possible.

 

[dcgrumpy]

If she has a section on Thursday, she won't be coming home until Monday, so he may be taking some days off the following week. He might want to take a few days off before the birth to get last minute things done at home.

 

[TIdoublegaER]

Not all babies are born on Monday's, so it is perfectly legit to ask if he will be taking the WHOLE week off. My DH took off 2 weeks when youngest DD was born. I was induced (scheduled by Doc and hospital) on a Thursday. DH didn't take Mon, Tues, Wed off that week, he started his patnerity leave on Thursday and took 2 weeks off from there. So I don't see any reason for not inquiring as to whether this person is taking the whole week or a partial week.

RUDisney -
I'm sure everything will work out fine. I also agree that it is not your problem DH's boss can't effective manage his area. Let's face it, he knew for 9 months that this baby was coming!